Parenting Goals in Raising Wholesome Future Leaders: 16 Essential Life Skills, Character Traits, and Mindsets to Cultivate

 

As our son Muawiyah turns 7, I reflect on our parenting journey: What kind of human beings are we raising? What role will they play in society when they're independent? What kind of parents or partners will they become? And most importantly, how are we actively shaping this?

I'm reminded of Prophet Yusuf's story. Separated from his family between ages 6 and 9, he faced decades of challenges alone – from being thrown into a well to becoming ruler of Egypt. His formative years with Prophet Ya'qub instilled the values and principles that prepared him for life's arduous journey. 

Our role as parents is similar: how well have we prepared our children for LIFE?

Raising children isn't just about grades or achievements; it's about building character – traits they'll carry through their studies, careers, and family lives. As parents, we are enablers, guides, facilitators, and, most importantly, role models in nurturing their character.

Here are 16 crucial character traits to cultivate in our children, empowering them to become wholesome individuals who lead and contribute to uplifting society.

1. Resourcefulness and independence 

2. Having High aspirations, and believe in their ability to achieve them. 

3. Grit and resilience 

4. Growth mindset 

5. Patience for Delayed Gratification 

6. Team player: Tolerance in putting up with others & to collaborate with others. 

7. A strong sense of self-Identity & moral values

8. Speaking up

9. Honesty and authenticity

10. Responsibility & taking accountability 

11. Discipline & willpower

12. Self confidence, self-esteem and self-compassion

13. Compassion & Generosity 

14. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) 

15. ⁠Gratitude

16. Righteousness & sincerity 

 رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنࣲ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

"Our Lord, grant our wives and children to be the comfort to our eyes, 

and make us leaders of the righteous."

Request Nicely, Don't Snatch

(old draft writeup in 2020 - reposted in 2024)

“Muawiyah, can you give Abah those Car Keys?”
“Thank you, Little Man!”

Extending the topic of “respect”, this is a little parenting tip which I’ve never heard or read anywhere else, so I thought I’d put it out there. When your little one starts grabbing or picking up things they are not supposed to (e.g. mobile phone, glass, spoonful of food, or in this case, car keys), don’t panic, don’t snatch, don’t scold, just keep composed ask them nicely to return it to us.

As parents we tend resort to the knee-jerk reaction of grabbing/snatching back the item from the baby, out of fear of danger or damage. But after giving it a lot of thought, I felt that if we do this repeatedly all the time, it starts subconsciously planting the idea that the child is prevented from feeding his/her curiosity and learning, perhaps even inadvertently grow up with the thoughts that their parents do not trust them to handle things with care, therefore damaging their self-esteem and sense of worth in the long run.

Rather, what we trained ourselves to do instead is to ask him back for it nicely. A typical script would be “Muawiyah, can you give that to Abah, please?” 

And once he gives it, we say a generous and cheerful “Thank you – you’re such a good boy!”.

Interestingly, in hindsight now that he is 2, we found that throughout his infant age we applied this practice, 95% of the time he gives it away without protest or second thoughts. The other 5% usually applies to things he has a serious curiosity or playful attachment to (which, most of the time, are harmless items such as his own toys).

This approach was a particularly “Eureka!” discovery for us, because aside from the momentary public interactions we have with other fellow parents, we have never really this method put into practice to infants this age. When Muawiyah could start physically gripping things about the age of 4 months old and when I first thought of this idea back then, I had no idea how effective it would be and how far it would work, given the baby’s underdeveloped communication skills at this age. I wondered, even if it did work, would it be a fluke? So we tried to practice this on a consistent basis.

Now, this takes a lot of repeated training and patience – sometimes it’s easier to snatch it away and remove the hazard altogether, immediately and just save ourselves the potential heart attack. And indeed, in the beginning it was met with mixed results, prompting us to think that perhaps it “might not work”. But here is where I need to remind myself: don't chicken out. Let’s double down on this and be patient. Parenting is about the “Long Game” here. Not quick wins and easy solutions.

Always consider restraining ourselves and taking the short term risk: sure, there may be times when some items might be damaged, but there is greater benefit in shaping their personality by reinforcing their self-esteem and showing, by our actions, our trust in them to do the right thing.

Are there exceptions to the rule? Definitely! Indeed, in situations where it involves clear imminent harm or serious hygiene issues, then a hard “no” is unavoidable: you can’t just sit and watch if the child starts swinging a knife. In public places or other people's homes, a potential broken glass would definitely prompt more seriousness! So this is where another consideration is to be very mindful not to allow dangerous/harmful objects to be within reach of the infant in the first place, so you don’t end up having exposed yourself to the dilemma. As a default, let the ‘snatching intervention’ be the exception, not the rule, and make a clear distinction in our reaction with the intention of educating them where you “draw the line” on what is non-negotiable or unacceptable. At the age of 1+ year, they won’t be able to discern right and wrong, or even “why” should one do the right thing in the first place. Rather, what they can pick up is our emotions and our reactions towards them.

Speaking of emotions, the cheerful “Thank you” at the end is one of the key components of this approach to “seal the deal”, as a means of positive reinforcement, PLUS also to inculcate the spirit of sharing and giving to others. One particularly interesting observation of our Muawiyah was that even at the young age of 6 months, saying “Thank you” will induce a big smile on his face (unfortunately, the smile reaction gradually went away as he grew up). This eventually developed into the habit of wanting to feed and share with us his food, which we entertain too.

Allahumma barik.

#frominfanttolittleman  #raisingMuawiyah
#parentingreflections #sunnah #respect

bgfc

9 Success Habits of Ahlul Jannah

One of the most important aspects of the Islamic identity is to redefine the paradigm - the perspective and frame of mind - of what is “success”. 

In the Qur’an, success is defined from two different perspectives: The Prize, and The Process

The Prize - the goal post, the endgame that we are all string for - is for the end result Hereafter: Success is defined as being saved from the Hellfire & entering Paradise

فَمَن زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ

“And whoever is saved from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful” (Surah Aali Imran, 3:185)

لَا يَسْتَوِي أَصْحَابُ النَّارِ وَأَصْحَابُ الْجَنَّةِ أَصْحَابُ الْجَنَّةِ هُمُ الْفَائِزُونَ

“Not equal are the dwellers of the Fire and the dwellers of the Paradise. It is the dwellers of Paradise, they are the truly successful. (Surah Al-Hashr, 57:20)

The Process, on the other hand, are the success habits of those who attain that prize. Practically speaking, Allah also outlines the actions and habits of what these successful people do to achieve that ultimate prize. 

Here are 9 of those Success Habits of those who attained that Great Prize:

1. Taqwa: Being conscious of Allah in our actions 

وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

“And have taqwa of Allah, in order that you may attain success” (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:189)

This is further emphasized in surah An-Naba’ 

إِنَّ لِلْمُتَّقِينَ مَفَازاً 

“Verily, for those who have Taqwa, they will be successful” (Surah An-Naba’ 78:31)

 

2. Obeying the Qur’an and Sunnah

وَمَن يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ فَازَ فَوْزًا عَظِيمًا

And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger (SAW) he has indeed achieved a great success (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:71)

3. Purifying our souls from diseases of the heart such as envy, 

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن تَزَكَّىٰ وَذَكَرَ اسْمَ رَبِّهِ فَصَلَّىٰ

“Indeed whosoever purifies himself, And remembers (glorifies) the Name of his Lord, and prays - he shall achieve success” (Surah Al-Ala, Verse 14-15)

4. Striving in His Cause - exerting your best efforts for His sake Alone

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَابْتَغُوا إِلَيْهِ الْوَسِيلَةَ وَجَاهِدُوا فِي سَبِيلِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

O you who believe! Do your duty to Allah and fear Him. Seek the means of approach to Him, and strive hard in His Cause as much as you can, so that you may be successful.” (Surah Al-Maidah 5:35)

5. Avoiding the haram intoxicants and gambling

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّمَا الْخَمْرُ وَالْمَيْسِرُ وَالْأَنصَابُ وَالْأَزْلَامُ رِجْسٌ مِّنْ عَمَلِ الشَّيْطَانِ فَاجْتَنِبُوهُ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), gambling, Al-Ansab, and Al-Azlam (arrows for seeking luck or decision) are an abomination of Shaitan's (Satan) handiwork. So avoid (strictly all) that (abomination) in order that you may be successful” (Surah Al-Maidah 5:90)

6. Remembering the favors of Allah

فَاذْكُرُوا آلَاءَ اللَّهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

“So remember the graces (bestowed upon you) from Allah, so that you may be successful." (Surah Al-Araf, 7:69)

7. Dzikr (Remembrance) of Allah

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا لَقِيتُمْ فِئَةً فَاثْبُتُوا وَاذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا لَّعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

O you who believe! When you meet (an enemy) force, take a firm stand against them and remember the Name of Allah much (both with tongue and mind), so that you may be successful.

(Al-Anfal, 8:45)

فَإِذَا قُضِيَتِ الصَّلَاةُ فَانتَشِرُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَابْتَغُوا مِن فَضْلِ اللَّهِ وَاذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا لَّعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

Then when the (Jumu'ah) Salat (prayer) is finished, you may disperse through the land, and seek the Bounty of Allah (by working, etc.), and remember Allah much, that you may be successful.

(Al-Jumu'ah, 62:10)

8. Worshiping Allah 

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا ارْكَعُوا وَاسْجُدُوا وَاعْبُدُوا رَبَّكُمْ وَافْعَلُوا الْخَيْرَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

“O you who believe! Bow down, and prostrate yourselves, and worship your Lord and do good that you may be successful.” (Surah Al-Hajj, 22:77)

9. Repentance

 وَتُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

And repent to Allah, O believers, all of you, so that you may be successful. (An-Nur 24:31)

Life advice: Appoint Great teachers and mentors (Sheikh Al-Usaymi, Adam Grant)

 

In his book "Hidden Potential", Adam Grant emphasizes the important role of teachers and how the quality of one's teachers and mentors - those who can make learning fun and inspire them, especially at younger age - are a major factor for long-term success. 

"It’s easy for people to be critics or cheerleaders. It’s harder to get them to be coaches. A critic sees your weaknesses and attacks your worst self. A cheerleader sees your strengths and celebrates your best self. A coach sees your potential and helps you become a better version of yourself."

No matter which stage we are in, in our professional journey, personal lives, and even in our religious spiritual growth, there is huge value in having strong aides, teachers, coaches and mentors by our side. 

Question is, what kind of teachers or coaches should we seek? 

In his book "Ta'zim Al-Ilm" (translated as 'Magnifying Knowledge'), Sheikh Saleh Al-Usoymi emphasizes that for us to effectively seek knowledge, choose teachers that will add value to you and intends good for you, who has the following qualities:

1. Able to Benefit you - he has the right capability and an expert in that knowledge, known to his community as a seeker of knowledge, and is known to learn from credible teachers 

2. One who is genuine (النَّصيحة) i.e. who cares for you desires good for you. 

3. The teacher has exemplary character qualities that are make him a suitable role model for us to emulate, and

 

4. Has experience and understanding on the various methods of teaching and communication, applying wisdom of the right approach according to the context and level of understanding of his students. He is therefore able to effectively implant understanding for subject matter of which the student has no prior understanding. With empathy, the teacher knows what is good for his student, and what harms them, knowing how to effectively prioritize knowledge and sequence them to suit their learning conditions. 

Interestingly, this has many parallels with the three qualities that Adam Grant lists down, as "which sources to trust":

1. Care , 

2. Credibility , and 

3. Familiarity 

When all these elements combine, the chemistry converges into a wholesome experience that can really supercharge our  growth and learning journey. 

Of course, we don't always have the privilege to choose our teachers, especially if we join a large class and don't have that privilege of having personalized familiarity, or even background of our coach's credentials. The benefit of this is having insight to understand and appreciate the potential learning limitations (and perhaps why we feel stuck), and therefore find solutions how we can supplement them, substitute or find alternatives if necessary. 

What do you think? Do you have the privilege of having access to these kinds of teachers, coaches and/or mentors? Any other important considerations? 

“Don't get mad, get curious”: 7 strategies to Receive Constructive Feedback like a champ

Recently there was a round of feedback exchange at the workplace that opened up a safe space for engineers to freely share their unfiltered thoughts.

Needless to say, it wasn't all roses and confetti. Some of them were quite brutal 💀💥.

Constructive feedback can be difficult to accept, and if you’re like me, the process can sometimes be downright painful. Yet ironically, if we take things objectively and professionally, it is one of the best means of self-improvement and personal development. If we can master the art of receiving constructive feedback, we can unlock a superpower: keys to a whole world of improvement possibilities and mature as a person. And in roles such as managerial positions - and even parenting - it’s an important component of our core responsibilities, so it’s worth putting in the effort to get better at it.  

Based on my learnings and experience so far, here’s sharing 7 strategies I've tried to adopt to get better at handling constructive feedback. Hope you find them useful!

1. Adopt a Growth Mindset 

Receiving feedback is like skill: it needs to be trained and developed. Just like talent, some of us might be terrible at it, and others might be great at it. But here’s the great news: Unlike some circumstantial situation like being born in Krypton, born to billionaire panrets or being bitten by a radioactive spider, this is one superpower than everyone can practice and develop. Just because we struggle at the discomfort doesn't mean we are locked into this state forever.

Look at ourselves as a work in progress. As we take active steps to incorporating feedback towards improving ourselves, we can begin to listen to feedback as referring to the “old version" of me, and open up possibilities of incorporating them and learning from it. 

    

2. Be humble 

When we hear tough feedback, there's always a temptation to be defensive, justify ourselves, blame others, or criticise the criticism itself. 

    

Why do we do this? 

    

Change - even if it's positive or constructive - is uncomfortable. By giving excuses & diverting the blame to others, it makes us feel good and stay in our comfort zone. 

    

In his book, Ego is the Enemy, author Ryan Holiday writes: “just one thing keeps ego around—comfort. Pursuing great work is often terrifying. Ego soothes that fear. It’s a salve to that insecurity.” 

    

True sincere growth cannot take place as long as Ego is in the way. Put ego aside, and be humble. Recognize that we are flawed and will always have room to improve. 

    

3. Perspective: they are Criticizing your work, not you (as a person)

When Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was on his mission of teaching Islam to the People, he faced immense criticism, hatred and opposition which caused him immense sadness. How could these people - my own beloved brethren and clansmen, used to love me dearly - be so mean to me? 

    

Knowing this pain he ﷺ is going through, Allah reveals this verse to comfort and remind him:

    

قَدْ نَعْلَمُ إِنَّهُ لَيَحْزُنُكَ الَّذِي يَقُولُونَ فَإِنَّهُمْ لَا يُكَذِّبُونَكَ وَلَٰكِنَّ الظَّالِمِينَ بِآيَاتِ اللَّهِ يَجْحَدُونَ

“We know indeed the grief which their words cause you (O Muhammad ﷺ ): it is not you that they deny, but it is the Verses (the Quran) of Allah that the oppressors deny.” (Surah Al-Anaam, 6:33)

    

Lesson to the Prophet ﷺ, and a lesson for us: When they criticize, don't take it personally. Consider these words as a critique against your WORK, not a critique against YOU as a person. 

    

4. Procrastinate thy emotional response - during the moment we listen to tough feedback, emotions are running high, and it can be tempting to impulsively react with a shotgun response in the heat of moment. We need to train ourselves to Hold off our kneejerk reactions. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said

    

إِنَّمَا الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الْأُولَى

“Verily, patience is at the first strike.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

    

If we can remain calm in the heat of the moment, we have the benefit of clear thinking and a rational mind, for us to…

    

5. “Consider Feedback as a gift” 🎁 - or rather, the bitter medicine or intense workout we need: short term pain for a long term gain. 

6. “Don't get mad, get Get curious” - a tip I heard in a podcast conversation: try to divert your emotional energy from anger to curiosity. Seek to  genuinely understand: What did they mean by that feedback? What did they see? Can my words or actions be misunderstood or interpreted differently? Curiosity diverts our efforts into problem solving mode instead of defensive mode.

    

In practice, what I also try to do is meet up with my mentors or trusted advisors, share the feedback to them and ask them about their thoughts and how I can implement this or learn from it. Talking about it puts a distance from over-personalising, and sets us up to be more objective to adopt the lessons from the experience.

    

7. Matter of perspective: Recognize Limitations - everyone is human. When people give feedback, it's only based on the limited windows of interaction they have with you, and sometimes only in that context. They observe you through their values, their own personal expectations, experiences, levels of competency, subconsciously benchmarking yourself to others they've worked with. And that is why, sometimes feedback can contradict each other: these are subjective experiences by different people at sometimes entirely different contexts.

    

What we want to have is the maturity to see through the noise, remove the emotion, be objective, and pick out the gems that will help us improve.

    

And those are my 7 strategies. Did you find them helpful? Any other useful tips? 

Share them down in the comments below!

Seven Powerful Lessons in Professionalism and Entrepreneurship, Adham @ Parang Lipis

 

As Adham took us through the whole forging and blacksmithing workshop at Lipis, Pahang, he also shared some profound wisdom and insights as to what got him into the business, what kind of efforts he put into, and what he aspires to achieve. Here are some cool nuggets of wisdom I've picked up in that short time we had together:

1. Growth Mindset - Contrary to my initial impressions and assumptions , Parang Lipis wasn't a family business brought down from generations. In fact it wasn't even an aspiration he had in his younger years. It was a recent ambition he set after learning about the craft. 

Adham in fact had an educational background in TESL: Teaching English as a Second Language. He could have pursued his profession on that path (in fact, he did already start off his career in the Middle East), but chose this direction instead. 

What sparked his interest in the field was his initiated his learning journey: in his initial days, Adham went on an expedition to visit and learn from 60 different blacksmiths from all over Malaysia, vlogging his journey initially for security reasons, venturing into unfamiliar territory (who knows what kind of characters he will meet!). What started off as security precautions, eventually earned a social media following and continued to encourage his growth journey. 

2. Be Objective & cut through the noise - When he first intended to start blacksmithing and entering the industry of knife-making, many discouraged him, some questioning "why throw away your professional career ahead of you" to enter a business that doesn't have much potential. Many people around him, out of good intentions, had warned him, if you pursue a business based on this kind of hard labor, there's not much money in it. 

But when he really studied the businesses out there, the supply-demand and numbers didn't seem to match that sentiment. Demand is there. But why don't these businesses survive? 

He observed a common pattern: mismanagement. 

When these skills weren't complimented with strong management, the blacksmiths don't get to fulfill their potential. 

"What if i could do better?"

It was then, he decided stepped up to initiate the business in year 2020. 

3. Be Proactive: During the pandemic era of COVID19, Adham observed that many of his friends and family were losing their jobs. This incident, coupled with the timing of his newfound skills, triggered the thought: perhaps I can create job opportunities for them?

He committed to it: some of his staff today were those retrenched or struggling for jobs from that era. 

 

4. Discipline to Push yourself out of your comfort zone - 

Okay , so we've formed a company, employed a few guys. Now, what? How do we push ourselves to break boundaries and thrive? 

In his own words, "it was at that moment, I told my then-girlfriend: let's get married. Now if I have responsibilities and a family to feed, that will push me and force me to find ways to thrive!" 

He wasn't going to settle down in his comfort zone. He knew, that to break through the perceived norms and achieve a higher level, he'd have to get uncomfortable: and instead of waiting for external factors for him to react to, he proactively pushed himself into that zone of discomfort. 

5. Carving a Niche - As he explained, those who enter the knife-making business either branch of between either of two: making Knives as an artwork, or knives as a tool. 

He chose to take the path of the latter: as a tool. Carving as an art, sure, you can sell the knives as a higher price and it's also got a cool edginess x-factor, but it's also more seasonal: whenever there's a trend, a viral sensation, mainstream media coverage, demand will spike for a short while, then die down. But manufacturing knives as a practical tool: a continuous, constant demand that can enable a more stable business for longterm sustainability that doesn't rely on trends. Now that's forward thinking 

6. Vision & Branding Strategy - When we first arrived, he asked us, "before I begin, I'd like to ask where did you hear about Parang Lipis?". Our honest answer was "our group leader organized this trip, we just followed her 😂", but we were also a bit perplexed at why he asked.. "Is this a big brand that we have been ignorant about?" 

As he later explained about the business after the tour, there were a lot of considerations about naming of the business before they arrived at "Parang Lipis". Most knife makers name their businesses from the names of their founders. But he wanted a brand that #1: customers would immediately know what their product was, and #2: one that would establish a branding of the local expertise (Lipis).

He had a broader vision: to make Lipis as the go-to place for Parangs, to the point where, whenever people associate the location of Lipis, the first thing that comes to mind is "Parang". And true enough, to some extent, its already happening: whenever the Sultan of Pahang comes to Lipis, he will ready his entourage to get a new Parang. 

7. Inclusiveness - I've always believed that the mark of a true professional is to be inclusive and welcome newcomers to the gold. Those who would love to see their profession expand, who welcome and celebrate newcomers, who aren't stingy with knowledge and generously share. 

And that's what Adham embodies and is passionate about: he invites more people to join in the craft, even if it's just as a hobby. What motivates him is his observation that this is a dying skill: Since his initial expedition learning from 60 blacksmiths, about seven of them have already passed away. 

Inspiring stuff! 

We wish him and pray for his continuous success and barakah (blessings), in this life and the next. 

Seven Powerful Lessons in Professionalism & Entrepreneurship — from Adham of Parang Lipis (LinkedIn writeup)

 

Located in Lipis, Pahang, Malaysia, we got the opportunity to meet and chat with Adham — founder of Parang Lipis — during a hands-on blacksmithing workshop. What started as a craft demo turned into a masterclass on vision, grit, and purpose.

Here are 7 lessons from his journey that deeply resonated with me:

1. Growth Mindset
Parang Lipis isn't a legacy family business. Adham studied TESL (teaching English as a 2nd Language), and began his career teaching abroad. Blacksmithing wasn’t in the plan — until he fell in love with the craft. He took a bold step: traveling across Malaysia to learn from 60 blacksmiths, vlogging for safety but gaining a following that fueled his journey.

2. Cut Through the Noise
Many discouraged him from leaving a “safe” professional path. But Adham studied the knife-making market — and found demand wasn’t the issue; poor management was. He asked himself: “What if I could do better?” That question became the foundation of Parang Lipis, launched in 2020.

3. Purpose-Driven Action
During COVID-19, he saw friends lose their jobs. With a new skill and an emerging business, he made a commitment: create job opportunities. Today, some of his team are those he uplifted from that period.

4. Discomfort Drives Growth
To push himself and his business beyond comfort zones, Adham made a bold move: "I told my then-girlfriend, let's get married."

He knew real responsibility would force him to grow. He didn’t wait for external pressures — he created his own.

5. Find a Sustainable Niche
Instead of chasing trends by making knives as an art, he focused on practical, high-quality tools with continuous demand. The strategy? Build long-term sustainability rather than riding short-term hype.

6. Visionary Branding
Most blacksmiths brand with their own names. Not Adham. He wanted people to immediately know two things: the product (Parang) and the origin (Lipis). His dream? Make Lipis synonymous with parang-making. It's already gaining ground — even the Sultan of Pahang stops by when he visits.

7. Generosity & Inclusiveness
Adham isn’t gatekeeping his craft. He actively invites people to learn — even as a hobby — to preserve a dying skill. Of the 60 blacksmiths he once learned from, 7 have passed away. He’s working to ensure their knowledge lives on.

An inspiring story of passion, strategy, and service. Wishing Adham and the Parang Lipis team continued growth, impact, and barakah 🤲🏼

# Entrepreneurship #Leadership #GrowthMindset #SmallBusiness #Malaysia #Craftsmanship #ProfessionalDevelopment #VisionaryLeadership

🔪 Forging a Parang

Yesterday we got a chance to visit Parang Lipis, where Founder Adham brought us through the entire process, from using blocks of scrap metal to a complete Parang. From a piece of steel taken off a vehicle's suspension spring and being forged into this versatile 12" blade. 

Was really interesting to see whole process! 

We used to see blacksmiths in movies and role playing games and it was really cool to see it firsthand, with the hammering part recalling memories of watching Tony Stark in the cave. My favorite part was to witness the Hardening, when the blacksmith would cool down the blade by dipping it in oil (or water) and this thick cloud of smoke would come off the blade.. Then the oil temporary re-ignited from the high temperature. So cool. 

Plus, I can finally appreciate what an anvil is used for and how blacksmiths make use of their shape. Cartoons like Road Runner always comically used anvils as a symbol of "something heavy", so seeing in person how it was used was a fun little enlightening moment, making sense of my childhood laughter at watching Wild E Coyote try to use these things to catch roadrunner, or get slammed by them (or both 🤣). 

Really interesting stuff! Gotta admire the craftsmanship and precision, underlying a thoughtful consideration of science and art, especially the passionate dedication of Adham in perfecting his craft, and the inspiring thoughts behind what made him get into manufacturing parang in the first place. Check it out! 

Strategi bergaul dengan sedara mara yang kita jarang jumpa - The introvert’s guide to networking with distant relatives

 

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"Dulu masa kecik2 Faisal selalu datang rumah Aunty. Tapi selalu duduk luar je. Buat hal sendiri. Tak pernah nak cakap2. Aunty ingat Faisal sombong”

“haha.. betul la Aunty.. dulu memang, tak pandai bergaul. Socially awkward. Sekarang ni baru la matang sikit” 

Budaya ziarah-menziarahi bulan Shawwal ni satu benda yang sangat mulia dalam budaya kita. Bila org kata “raya kan sebulan”.. bukan lah sekadar sebulan makan2 utk menggantikan berat badan yang kita lusut sepanjang Ramadan, tapi peluang keemasan untuk mengukuhkan silaturrahim dan ukhuwah, building bridges dgn saudara kita yg jarang kita berjumpa. 

Cuma, saya pasti ada yg mungkin kurang cenderung sikit, sbb ada perasaan “social anxiety”: rasa cm tak pandai bergaul. Terutama introvert mcm saya. Dah lama x jumpa. Dah x rapat macam zaman budak2 dulu. Kadang2 tak pernah cakap pun dengan uncle tu. Mcm mana nak mula? 

Jadi apa kita buat? Kebiasaannya, kita Lepak dengan puak2 “comfort zone” kita je. 

Atau lagi lemah: Main phone. Dtg rumah orang ziarah, main henfon sorg2 & buat hal sendiri. Aduhh.. fail la. Defeat the purpose.

OK takpe geng, saya ada solusi. Semenjak kebelakangan ni, saya jumpa satu teknik utk kurangkan sikit social awkwardness.

Tips dia basically satu benda je: Tanya banyak soalan dengan penuh minat dan hati terbuka.  

Bila nak sembang tu, tanya je soalan2… tapi kunci di sini adalah kita bertanya, dengan ikhlas hati minat nak tahu, bukan sekadar tanya kosong2 - sekarang buat apa? Rumah kat mana? Oo wow bunyi menarik. Best ke? Oh, stay kawasan rumah tu - saya dengar ada XYZ, betul ke? 

(kadang2, lagi “salah” pemahaman kita, lagi best perbualan.. biar diorg betulkan kita dan kita gelak je.. benda tu boleh jadi icebreaker)

Dan jangan malu untuk bertanya soalan2 berkenaan dengan “macam mana kita related, eh?” Sori la jarang jumpa, saya ni kuat pelupa sikit. Oh mak awak dengan my dad cousin? So kita ni kira dua pupu la ye?

Kadang2 kita takut nak tanya soalan2 mcm ni sebab dalam kepala kita, “sepatutnya aku tahu”.. Takkan la selama ni berpuluh tahun jumpa masih tak tahu, kan? And dalam kepala kita selalu risau uncle atau cousin kita tu akan jawab, “lah, kau tak tahu lagi ke?!” jadi kita pun malas nak ambik risiko kena perli.

Apa yang saya dapati, saudara2 kita ni, especially yg senior2, diorg ni suka je bila ditanya… seronok je layan. Lagi kita tunjuk minat nak tahu, lagi diorg seronok nak cerita. Lagi seronok diorg cerita, zahirkan perasaan seronok kita baru belajar benda baru.. sambil2 tu, selit2 juga pengalaman kita nak relate kat story dia… makin berkobar2 semangat bercerita.. diorg tengok kita seronok, diorg pun seronok.. 

.. ha, kan hilang dah social awkwardness.

Sekali sekala, ada uncle atau aunty yang terkejut bila saya start sembang dengan diorg sebab selama ni tak pernah bertegur. Teknik saya is, guna peluang ni utk buat komen gurau2.. sori la Uncle, dulu x pandai bergaul. Sejak dah 4 series dan berjanggut ni baru la nak start matang sket. 

Awal2 akan rasa x biasa. Itu normal. Mcm skill lain, the more we practice, the better we get. Lagi banyak kita amalkan, lagi efektif teknik pergaulan dan sembang2.

Semoga tips2 di atas membantu kita semua agar lebih yakin dan bersemangat untuk menghidupkan sunnah dalam mengukuhkan pertalian silatur rahim, seperti yang dianjurkan oleh Nabi kita ﷺ:

مَنْ أَحَبَّ أَنْ يُبْسَطَ لَهُ فِي رِزْقِهِ، وَيُنْسَأَ لَهُ فِي أَثَرِهِ، فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ

“Barangsiapa yang ingin diluaskan rezekinya serta dipanjangkan usianya, maka hendaklah dia menyambung pertalian silaturrahim.

(HR Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

Integrating the Quranic World View - Kuliyyah of Engineering (KOE), International Islamic University of Malaysia (IIUM), 19th March 2025

Alhamdulillah was an honor to be given an opportunity to conduct knowledge sharing with Engineering students from International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM), with my good friend and fellow podcaster from The Barakah Effect, Amir Aripin Khan. 

Our topic was “Integrating the Quranic World View”, centered on few different perspectives about the practical implications about what is the Quranic worldview, and how adopting that worldview fundamentally changes our outlook in life, having practical implications in consolidating our attitude, goals, principles, and mindsets. 

For such a deep, broad, and profound topic, we couldn’t possibly cover everything in a 1-hour talk. Our focus was to try to bring a few points to these perspectives to inspire them to approach the Quran as a practical guidebook for tackling challenges in life, embrace our true identity, and be optimistic with confidence how Quran improves every aspect of our lives  - not just something you recite for blessings or routines during specific occasions. 

Adding another layer of  challenge was that the talk was during Ramadan after Asar, ~2 hrs before breaking the fast - when hunger and tiredness is at its peak. As a speaker, my personal KPI was for 80% of them to still be awake and attentive by the end!

Our approach was to deliver the topic in a way that was engaging and relatable, making full use of the dual speaker format to complement our points, through dynamic storytelling by extracting case studies from real life historical incidents, such as the 1920 Prohibition era in America that collapsed the country's economy: in comparison to the immediate sustainable success of prohibition of alcohol in Medina in 622.

In these stories, we illustrate how the Quranic view shapes us in 3 major aspects:

1.⁠ ⁠Paradigm shift: Viewing life from the lens of the Hereafter, beyond life of this world - how this fundamentally shifts our understanding of “success”, morality, accountabity, true wisdom behind calamities and hardship, and not be deceived by what people generally perceive as success 

2.⁠ ⁠Real human issues like mental health and depression, and how we can leverage this understanding to elevate our resilience, determination and approach to handling difficult situations in life with confidence and optimism

3.⁠ ⁠Motivation - how the Quranic way of life elevates and improves every aspect of our lives, not just spiritually, but also in all of our goals, ambitions and day to day life. 

The session ended with a brief Q&A with some excellent questions. And by my estimate I think we exceeded the 80% alertness KPI target. Yay Alhamdulillah.

Many thanks and jazakumUllahu khayran to the DNT (Dakwah and Tarbiyah) team of the Kuliyyah of Engineering (KOE) students, as well as sponsors and co-organizers Dakwah Corner Bookstore for opening up the opportunity to connect with these young leaders, and we hope that our short sharing session could spark some inspiration in them to continue this pursuit even deeper, and then these young champs would grow to become better leaders than us.

🏁 Ramadan Goals: Develop higher EQ in tolerating others

Among the goals in Ramadan we should strive to achieve is to elevate our level of sabr (patience) in putting up with others around us. Whether it's our provocative co-workers, our children's tantrums, our spouse’s habits, annoying fellow commuters on the train, traffic jams, or terrible parking habits at the masjid - there are so many situations that can trigger us.

Allah wants us to take the high road: Don't be reactive by getting caught up in the moment, succumb to your "hanger" and let your emotions get the best of you. Take these frustrating encounters into opportunities, to train our emotional intelligence in withholding our anger and increasing our levels of tolerance in dealing with others to be a more effective human being. 

When it comes to being "productive" in Ramadan,  doing "more" - more Qur'an, more tarawih, more du'aa. And thats all great. And here's what we can do to achieve another higher level: practice restraint. Do LESS: of what is displeading to Allah. 

What people sometimes forget is that in the Islamic perspective, to practice more restraint is also being more productive. To withhold your anger, restrain yourselves against sinful behavior - including transgressing others in your fits of anger - are all acts of worship. The more you withhold out of faith, for the sake of Allah, the more you cultivate in taqwa (consciousness of Allah), which is in fact the whole objective of fasting, as Allah informs us in ayah #183 of Surah Al-Baqarah. 

In multiple narrations, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasized the need for patience, especially throughout fasting, affirming the concept of fasting as a "shield" - to protect ourselves from our own transgressions. 

He ﷺ said,

الصِّيَامُ جُنَّةٌ إِذَا كَانَ أَحَدُكُمْ صَائِمًا فَلاَ يَرْفُثْ وَلاَ يَجْهَلْ فَإِنِ امْرُؤٌ قَاتَلَهُ أَوْ شَاتَمَهُ فَلْيَقُلْ إِنِّي صَائِمٌ إِنِّي صَائِمٌ

"Fasting is like a shield. If one is fasting, then he should not use foul language or behave foolishly. If anyone abuses him or picks a fight with him, just say to him (twice): "I am fasting"" (Muslim)

مَنْ لَمْ يَدَعْ  لَمْ يَدَعْ قَوْل الزُّورِ وَالْعَمَلَ بِهِ وَالْجَهْلَ فَلَيْسَ لِلَّهِ حَاجَةٌ أَنْ يَدَعَ طَعَامَهُ وَشَرَابَهُ 

"Whoever does not give up false statements (i.e. telling lies), and evil deeds, and speaking bad words to others, Allah is not in need of his (fasting) leaving his food and drink!” (Al-Bukhari)

These narrations also contain an elegant lesson in self-discipline and personal development. Because we are in a state of hunger while we are fasting, we are more easily triggered. In spite of being hangry, we need to thrive for a HIGHER level of patience. Push your limits of sabr (patience): Be better!