Ramadhan Preparation #3 – Restrain Your Speech

#3 – Restrain Your Speech

As basic as it sounds, it’s an important reminder that’s worth repeating again and again: restrain your speech, guard your tongue.

Now of course, when we refer to ‘guarding’ “the tongue”, this literally refers to all forms of speech and communication – WhatsApp, Facebook & Twitter included.

Our tongues can result in some pretty major disasters. Disasters such as, resulting in our entire Ramadhan efforts completely wasted.

The Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said:

"Whoever does not give up false statements (i.e. telling lies), and evil deeds, and speaking bad words to others, Allah is not in need of his (fasting) leaving his food and drink." 

(Sahih Al-Bukhari Book #73, Hadith #83)

He also said,

“Fasting is not (abstaining) from eating and drinking only, but also from vain speech and foul language. If one of you is being cursed or annoyed, he should say: ‘I am fasting, I am fasting.” (Ibn Khuzaimah, Ibn Hibban)

In fact, taking Ramadhan out of the picture, the tongue is capable of such major catastrophes, that, if left completely unrestrained, can cause such a major bankruptcy that in fact cancels out every single one of our good deeds..

The Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Do you know who is the one who is bankrupt?”

They said: “Among us, the one who is bankrupt is the one who has no dirhams and no goods.”

He said: “Rather, the one who is bankrupt amongst my ummah (nation) is the one who will come on the Day of Resurrection with (his good deeds, of) prayer, fasting and zakaah,

but he will come having insulted this one, slandered that one, consumed the wealth of this one, shed the blood of that one and beaten this one,

all of whom will be given some of his hasanaat (good deeds), and if his hasanaat run out before the scores have been settled, some of their sins will be taken and thrown onto him, then he will be cast into the Fire.” (Sahih Muslim, Book #032, Hadith #6251)

Gathering good deeds is one thing – RETAINING THEM, is a different challenge altogether. And one of the core aspects of overcoming that challenge is by restraining ourselves from inflicting any and all forms of harm/injustice to others. And the most common form of ‘harm’ we are prone to inflict on a daily (if not hourly) basis, is the harm from our speech.

And considering the massive rewards that await us in Ramadhan, we really don’t want to put ourselves in situations that just gives it away.

While too vast to go into detail, some of the negative and foul speech that we should strive against ourselves are as follows:

Backbiting (gheebah)

Commonly referred to as “mengumpat” in BM, the most common form of foul speech is gheebah (backbiting) - so common in the media and every day speech today, but an act that is in fact so filthy in the sight of Allah that He likens the act to eating the flesh of your dead brother – “Do not backbite one another. Would any one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother?! You would certainly hate it!” (Surah Al-Hujarat 49:12)

What is the meaning of backbiting? It is to speak about others what they do not like to be said about them. Whether behind them – or in front of them.

The Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Do you know what is gheebah (Backbiting)?”

They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best”

He said, “Talking about your brother what he would dislike’

It was said, “(But) what about if what I say about my brother is true?”

He said, “if what you said about him is true, then you would have backbitten him; and if it’s not true, you have slandered him”

(Sahih Muslim Book #032, Hadith #6265)

Defaming/Mocking others

The Prophet said,

“A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not betray him, nor does he lie to him, nor does he forsake him.

All of the Muslim to (another) Muslim is sacred – his honour, his wealth, and his blood.

Taqwa (righteousness and consciousness of God) is here (while pointing to his chest).

It is enough evil for a person to look down upon his fellow Muslim” (Narrated in Tirmidzi)

Boastfulness & Pride

The Prophet said

“Allah has revealed to me that you should all be humble, so that no person would oppress another, and neither should there be anyone displaying pride, or boast to another person” (Muslim)

He also said, “a person with an atom’s weight of arrogance shall not enter paradise” – it is “to deny the truth, and to scorn/look down upon others”. (Muslim)

And these are some of the many negative forms of speech we should restrain ourselves from.

Don’t wait until Ramadhan comes before we start hitting stumbling blocks and losing off our good deeds; train now with the consciousness of retaining your good deeds for the Hereafter, and with the clear intention to be the Best of the Muslims.

A person asked the Prophet who was among the Best of the Muslims.

The prophet said: "(the one) whose hand and tongue, other Muslims are safe (from)"

(sahih Muslim, Book #001, Hadith #0064)

After all, Ramadhan or not, restraining the tongue is in fact the proof of one’s Faith and belief in Allah & The Last Day:

the Prophet said,

“.. whomsoever believes in Allah and the Last Day (i.e. Day of Judgment), let him speak what is good, or just remain silent!” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Book #73, Hadith #47)

And if we can actually train ourselves, and sustain this great act of self-restraint, even until after Ramadhan, we can in fact, guarantee ourselves a spot in Paradise. The Prophet said:

"Whoever can guarantee (the chastity of) what is between his two jaw-bones and what is between his two legs (i.e. his tongue and his private parts),

I guarantee Paradise for him."  (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Book #76, Hadith #481)

And would you want a guarantee to enter Paradise?

Yeah, me too.

Next : Tip #4 - Moderation in Eating