Note: Long Article – Est 12-15 minute read
Our very first live podcast discussion with Qalby shares was a fantastic experience for the Barakah Effect team, and we were indeed humbled and grateful for the opportunity to connect with the community, especially with the unexpectedly high attendance turnout. One of the most memorable learning experiences of the session was the Q&A, which surprisingly lasted way longer than we expected – lasting almost a whopping 1 hour!
In the spirit of continuous improvement, the session got me thinking: how can we further improve our Q&A response? What are some best practices in answering questions?
The following is a list of guidelines and etiquettes I have compiled based on my learning, professional experience, and hands-on experiencing in facilitating Q&A dialogue sessions, as well as being on the side of panelists.
I try to keep these guidelines practical enough to be used in presentations and open dialogue and engagements, including meetings and technical presentations at the workplace.
It is a work in progress, so do share if you have any more suggestions!
1. Keep it concise and straight to the point. Don’t beat around the bush
2. Summarize back the question
3. Be honest & direct: Call a spade a spade
4. Respect (and if possible, uplift) the question and the questioner
5. Empathize with questioner's disagreement, doubt and confusion
6. Tell them the answer, then the justification (not the other way around. Or else it will seem like you are beating around the bush)
7. Minimize disclaimers and filler words
8. Refrain from using self-callback phrases like "as I said earlier"…
9. … But do make more references to fellow panelists, building on their points
10. Referrals: Try to give them something they can build on to dig deeper and pique their curiosity
11. The Best Way to Respond to compliments: A clean and simple “thank you”
12. If you don't know, just say "I don't know!"
13. Control your emotions & keep a clear rational mind
14. Responding to subtexts and “reading between the lines” (maksud tersirat) - Avoid speculating negative intent
15. Just do your best. It's okay to make mistakes
Just as all tools, we don’t necessarily have to use all of them all the time, so what matters most is how we apply hikmah (wisdom) to adjust ourselves according to the situation and context, and improve further as we do more.
With that being said, bismillah, here we go..
1. Keep it concise and straight to the point. Don’t beat around the bush
“If you want to impress people, make things complicated. If you want to help people, keep it simple”
In my years facilitating Q&A sessions between different speakers, shuyukh and Subject Matter Experts (SME), I can observe a huge variation in how different panelists approach Q&A answers. Some of them give straightforward, no-nonsense answers, some give more elaborate answers, and some go so overboard in flexing their intellectual muscles that it basically turns into mini-lectures.
So, which one is BEST?
To me, I feel the best way is to reflect on ourselves: “As a listener, which type of answers do I feel is most effective?”
When I go home after the conference, when the years pass by and I think about what I have learnt, which ones will I remember (and apply) most: the mini lectures or the short ones?
Definitely the short ones.
In the moment, people – including myself – tend to be impressed with long, elaborate answers as they demonstrate understanding and depth; but in practice, our attention spans are so limited, especially when we learn new things, that it can be difficult to process too much information, and therefore at the end of the day, it doesn’t become something practical.
Remember: The goal as panelists is to convey & educate, not to impress.
And our goal as students is to APPLY knowledge, not to BE impressed!
In fact, in many ways, short answers are more impressive in demonstrating wisdom, signaling your ability to filter out all of that fluff and keep it simple. This was indeed the Q&A approach of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, whose answers were always short, concise, practical, and straight to the point! Long answers tend to feel draggy and disorienting.
Keep answers as concise as possible, with simple evidences. Practice restraint, and consciously resist the urge to show-off or flex your intellectual muscles. Occasionally, you can choose to strengthen your answer with stories or jokes to keep them engaged, but keep it short, don’t go off-tangent, and keep the side-commentary to a minimum.
Don’t over-explain yourself, either, because that tends to open doors to more problems in addition to disorienting the listener.
Once in a while, if there are good opportunities, you can choose to give more than what they asked for – as this was also occasionally the practice of the Prophet ﷺ when he was asked about whether or not we are allowed to make wudhu with seawater, and he gave extra benefits that all seafood Halal (Ref: Abu Daud #83, ibn Majah #386) – but this is more of the occasional exception, not the rule.
2. Summarize back the question
This provides several immediate benefits:
✅ It provides feedback to the questioner that you comprehend what is being asked
✅ It allows you to paraphrase and reframe it to how you understand it, subsequently acting as a disclaimer that your answers are based on your perspective
✅It buys you some precious time to collect your thoughts, arrange your answers and improve the quality of your response without having to resort to awkward pauses or “uhhmms” and “ahhhs” to buy you time.
3. Be honest & direct: Call a spade a spade.
“O you who believe! Have taqwa of Allah and speak the truth in a straightforward manner, without crookedness or distortion.
If you do so, He will rectify your affairs and forgive your sins” (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:70-71)
Sometimes, we have doubts that the truth will make them upset, or cause discomfort. And out of our all-too-Malaysian tendencies of being people-pleasers, we sometimes shy away from the facts, beat around the bush, or sugarcoat it with so much unnecessary fluff that we confuse the listener altogether. It is better to call a spade a spade, get the facts out, and move on.
Try to think of our role as a messenger: we are here to convey; not to win a popularity contest. Just tell it as it is.
Having said that, we do need to apply wisdom: if our answer can potentially trigger negative consequences, cause more confusion, or incite conflict and other unwanted circumstances, then it may be better to refrain ourselves from answering altogether, and either delegate the question, direct them to “more knowledgeable sources” or respectfully turn the question down out of academic integrity.
The Prophet ﷺ said, “Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah and subsequently triggering the displeasure of the people, Allah will suffice and protect him from the people. And whoever seeks the pleasure of people by incurring the displeasure of Allah, Allah will leave him and entrust him to the people.” (At-Tirmidzi)
4. Respect (and if possible, uplift) the question
The Prophet ﷺ said, “the cure of ignorance is by asking questions” (Abu Daud)
One of the common mistakes I hear during Q&A is when panelists (and sometimes, even Muslim speakers) disrespect the questioner by insulting the question, providing condescending remarks, negatively judging them, or reacting with inappropriate laughter.
These kinds of responses have a very damaging & alienating effect to the questioner who may not necessarily understand the context of the question being asked. This might even go so far as to offend the event Emcee or moderator who was simply relaying the question. Come on man, don’t shoot the messenger!
Refrain from these types of responses; be respectful to the question and the questioner.
Among the best etiquettes of panelists are those who provide uplifting comments for the question such as “that’s an excellent question”, or “yes indeed this is an important issue to address”.
If you have nothing good to comment, then don’t comment at all. Just answer and move on.
The Prophet ﷺ said, “whomsoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, say what is good, or just remain silent” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
5. Empathize with questioner's disagreement, doubt and confusion
This is one of my favorite techniques, especially for hostile or antagonistic questions. Instead of getting defensive or deflecting the subject, try to find a common ground that can defuse the situation. My favorite technique is to start with a calm and netral “I can see where you’re coming from”.
This doesn’t necessarily acknowledge the sentiments or validate them, rather merely in acknowledging the perspective.
The best route is if you can strategically come from a perspective of “initially, that’s what we thought too..” or “yes we were also confused in the beginning”, and then taking them on that journey of that discovery that “proved me wrong”. By putting your own shoes as a student, from the perspective of being “proven wrong” and standing corrected, it minimizes the chance of resistance from the listening side.
A person once asked the Prophet ﷺ about his father who died in a state of shirik (worshipping idols): “O Messenger of Allah, where is my father?”
The Prophet said, “in the Hellfire.”
When the man turned away, the Prophet ﷺ called him and said:
“MY father AND your father are in the Fire.” (Muslim)
6. Tell them the answer, then the justification (not the other way around. Or else it will seem like you are beating around the bush)
If it’s a straightforward question, tell them the answer first. And then the supporting evidence.
If we give justifications BEFORE the answers, what tends to happen is that we spend so much time building up the explanation and evidences, and by the time we actually deliver the answer, the questioner may have lost interest or is drowned in the facts which you flooded them, or at the least, diluted the impact altogether.
7. Minimize disclaimers and filler words
Some speakers, out of their humility, tend to put in length disclaimers to protect themselves, or put in a chockful of commentary before getting to the point. But in practice, this results in a very painfully dragging experience to the listener to wait for the speaker to get to the point.
Get rid off the fluff and get to the point.
8. Refrain from using self-callback phrases like "as I said earlier"
Try not to say phrases in the vein of “as I mentioned before”, or “as I said in the beginning of the talk”; these phrases tend to carry a vibe of annoyance or a smug impression of self-affirmation.
At worst, it may come across as condescending as if you are implying to them “are you deaf?” (even if you don’t intend it at all!).
Best thing to do: Just repeat the point again and get it across. This is what the Prophet ﷺ did when he was asked the same question repeatedly. He would repeat himself even if the answer was painfully obvious.
On a related note, try to refrain from saying “obviously” or side comments emphasizing “which I am sure all of you are familiar with”. Because for many people, it might not be obvious, neither would they be familiar with it. So, these alienating statements tend to result in them feeling inferior or left out.
Perhaps occasionally, one may do so to indirectly encourage them to learn and find out – but use it sparingly and make it clear that this is your intention (instead of unintentionally offending others).
9. Make more references to fellow panelists, building on their points
Though you should refrain from making callbacks to your own words, on the flip side, you SHOULD make references to what other people in the discussion (i.e. fellow panelists or the Emcee) have said, complimenting and contributing on top of what they have said.
This is one of the hallmarks of active listening.
In addition to making others feel more comfortable, this gives off an impression of a team player building on others’ inputs and can strengthen the overall delivery as a team and jamaah, not just your own individual contribution.
Do be careful that you do it with the intent to collaborate and build, not to refute or compete. Or else it will come off as argumentative or fault-finding.
10. Referrals: Try to give them something they can build on to dig deeper and pique their curiosity
Your answers will never be “comprehensive” enough to close the subject. At every available opportunity, try to direct the questioner to other resources, such as lectures, teachers, speakers, books, or courses on the subject to lead them on a trail to discover more.
Besides, the Prophet ﷺ said, “whoever shows the path towards guidance, then he will receive the rewards of those acting upon that guidance” (Muslim) – so you will also receive free future rewards from others who benefitted from those said resources!
Directing others to further resources also subconsciously strengthens another important etiquette: humility. By directing them elsewhere, by your actions, you demonstrate a transparency about knowledge and earnestness that you are not about self-promotion; but instead you want them to continue learning (and perhaps even surpass you!)
(Note: this might not be applicable for management meetings, which might end up seeming like you're just sending them off on a wild goose chase that can expose you to the question of "then why did we hire you if we need to go through those reports!?")
Another tip: try to be precise in your referrals, if you can recall them. Don’t just say vague statements such as “there are many books written about this”, “so many verses of Qur’an and hadith on this subject” or “so many online courses you can sign up to. Just google it” and leave it at that.
Responses like this may come off as lazy or condescending. Besides, as a listener, EVERY TIME I hear this, I immediately ask, “such as?”
11. The Best Way to Respond to compliments: A clean and simple “thank you”
The Prophet ﷺ was asked, “tell us about a person who does some good deed and people praise him: will this be considered as showing off?"
He ﷺ replied, "This is the glad tidings which a believer receives (in this life)." (Muslim)
Occasionally during Q&A or panelist conversations, you might receive side-comments or remarks that pay you some compliments or words of kindness.
Because these remarks and compliments are quite unexpected, we often resort to kneejerk reactions such as instinctively returning it or denying the compliment altogether out of modesty. All of these have a negative impact to the conversation.
Just mindlessly returning compliments sometimes result in fake and insincere compliments.
What about denial? While can be a sign of humility, denying compliments can also be misunderstood as a hostile move in rejecting a kind gesture and words of positivity. From the perspective of listeners, a long explanation of turning down compliments can feel like a drag that simply bores them.
What I found is the best way is, in the most friendly way possible, simply say a short phrase of acknowledgement, such as “thank you”, “masha Allah that’s very kind of you to say”, or “barakAllahu fikum” (May Allah bless you).
After all, these are glad tidings from Allah. Take it as a kind gift, acknowledge, and move on.
12. If you don't know, just say "I don't know!"
“And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart - about all those [one] will be questioned.” (Surah Al-Isra 17:36)
If, at any point, you are unsure, or simply do not have the answer, never shy away from saying “I don’t know”, or simply passing it over to another panelist.
Many of us think that we MUST give answers out of fear that our incapability to answer questions might make us look weak or incompetent – hence why people result to just “tembak” (shoot from the hip) to avoid humiliation. But really, these are symptoms of a negative, ego-driven line of thought.
In fact, saying “I don’t know” can actually BOOST your credibility. Listen: great scholars and subject matter experts say “I don’t know” all the time. It’s a testament to their integrity and commitment to continuous growth, not that of arrogance or pride.
One time, a man representing his country travelled across the continent to ask Imam Malik a whole list of question of his people; for the majority of questions Imam Malik simply said: “I don’t know”. Frustrated, the man retorted: “What am I supposed to tell my people?!”.
Imam Malik replied, “Tell them: Malik does not know”
(drop the mic)
13. Control your emotions & keep a clear rational mind
The Prophet ﷺ said, “The strong person is not the one who overcomes others by wrestling with his physical strength; rather, the truly strong person is the one who controls himself while he is in a state of anger” (Al-Bukhari)
Every once in a while, the situation or question can get us into an emotional state, and this isn’t just limited to anger; it can include other emotional states such as being overly excited, anxious, happy or sad. If we aren’t careful, any one of these emotional states can push us into saying or doing foolish things, and potentially derail us entirely.
This is when we need to practice self-awareness to recognize our own triggers and emotional states, and to respond appropriately to keep it straight. Or, if the situation calls for it, avoid tackling the question altogether.
Now, this doesn’t mean that we do not authentically express our emotions; it simply means that we don’t allow our emotional states to compromise the content of our message.
This is perfectly captured in the statement of the Prophet ﷺ, who cried when his son Ibrahim passed away: "The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is saddened, but we will not say except what pleases our Lord.” (Al-Bukhari)
14. Responding to subtexts and “reading between the lines” (maksud tersirat) – Avoid speculating negative intent
“O you who believe! avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.” (Surah Al-Hujarat 49:12)
Every once in a while, you may encounter questions that may seem to “challenge” your knowledge, “investigate” your inclinations or religious affiliations, test your patience, or simply are “fatwa shopping” and looking for an answer that could provide them with a quick easy way out.
Once you “catch” these subtexts, you do need to proceed with caution. Though it can be beneficial to make some meta-commentary and advise these underlying mindsets, there is also a very strong possible that it could only be OUR wrong perceptions that overthink and speculate negative intent (in Arabic this is called “dzann”), and therefore commenting on them could backfire against us, coming off as uncharismatic, as we will be seen as overly defensive, unnecessarily negative-minded, or even arrogant.
By default, I find that the best way is to AVOID reading negative intent and just answer the question as it is and move on.
The Prophet ﷺ said, “Beware of adz-Dzann (negative suspicion), for suspicion is the worst form of lies!” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
15. Just do your best. It's okay to make mistakes
“Fear Allah as much as you are able to!” (Surah At-Taghabun 64:16)
At the end of the day, there has not been a single Q&A which I didn’t tell myself “I wish I had said this instead...”
There will always be room to improve, and that’s life. Just say what you know and move on. If you make mistakes, own up to them and rectify them. No regrets, and certainly no need to repent from Q&A (e.g. “that’s it, I’m never doing Q&A again!”)
What matters most is that we give it our honest sincere best and improve ourselves. Not to just curl into a ball of regret and avoid all questions. After all, as the Prophet ﷺ said, among the rights of a Muslim are, when they seek advice or counsel, you advise them to the best of your knowledge.
What I also try to remind myself is to approach Q&A with a Growth Mindset. Many of these questions, I myself am in need of the answer – so if I don’t know, I SHOULD be worried! And if I DO know something, don’t I have a responsibility to love for others what I love for myself, and share what benefits me?
The Prophet ﷺ said, "If a judge gives a verdict according to the best of his knowledge and his verdict is correct, he will receive two rewards,
and if he gives a verdict according to the best of his knowledge and his verdict is wrong, even then he will get one reward" (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
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Hope that will provide some insight to help us all be more effective at handling Q&A!
Got any other tips? Please do share – love to hear it!
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