One of the things we made a clear intention to focus on our child was to instill a practice of memorizing Qur’an, even in infancy. We were deeply inspired by many others who achieved great feats at such a young age, and we wanted to try for ourselves.
Our challenge was, aside from the general encouragement and theoretical resources available, there were very few practical guides out there how to do so for toddlers below the age of 5 who could not yet read alphabets.
So here is a summary of 6 main lessons of what we have implemented and learnt so far in our Hifz journey, based on our efforts with our 3-year old little man, Muawiyah.
Feel free to share (and suggest more!) if you find this beneficial.
1. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Then repeat again.
My wife insisted that we keep reciting to him, even while he was 1-year old and could not comprehend speech. For the longest time, I didn’t think that we had much effect. Until one fine day when he was just before the age of 2, while he was playing with his toys in his bathtub by himself, he suddenly said out of nowhere:
تَبَّتْ يَدَا أَبِي لَهَبٍ وَتَبَّ
We couldn’t believe our ears! Of all the things we recite, he recites that one first. It was then we realized it with our own ears: Children’s minds absorb like a sponge - even if it doesn't seem like it! They are always learning, subconsciously.
Caveat: Just like a sponge, they can absorb a lot, very quickly. But just as a sponge doesn't hold water for very long, they can lose their memorization very quickly too!
The Prophet ﷺ said, “the parable of one who knows the Qur'an by heart is as the parable of an owner of hobbled camel. If he remains vigilant, he will retain it; and if he neglects it, it will go away." (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
If this was true for us adults, how much more important is it to repeat for our dear little ones, who do not yet appreciate the importance and beauty of the Qur’an!
At the end of the day, there is no secret sauce. The key to memorization is repetition. Again, and again, and again.
As 3-year olds cannot read yet, their learning is almost entirely seeing and listening. So, make sure they really get a healthy dose of Qur'an in their daily life!
2. Make it fun and satisfying!
I remember coming across a study about habits, that the key to habits isn’t JUST about repetition. The key is the emotion behind the repetitions: that’s what makes it stick (or repelled!)
When we train our toddlers to memorize Qur’an, we need to try and associate that with positive emotions and feelings.
After all, even for us adults, part of the reason people sometimes shy away from learning Qur'an is that the experience is often associated with "spotting mistakes" or “being punished”, which makes people very uncomfortable.
At a toddler's age, we cannot afford to allow them to associate negative emotions with Qur’an.
In practice, this means: do not make quran "a chore". Show enjoyment as you Recite together.
As much as possible, I try to prioritize positive reinforcement over accuracy. “Catch them doing things right”, as some parenting coaches would say. Celebrate the little wins: Whenever they recite a new ayah, they got a Qalqalah right, finished a surah, seal it with positive vibes like “yay!”, “well done!”, high fives and visible happiness.
As toddlers still in development of their speech faculties, we need to bear with patience as they make mistakes in pronunciation. We don’t have to keep correcting them (as this sometimes also creates negative experience of frustration), just keep repeating as they mature their speech – eventually they begin figuring out the nuances in our makhraj, and as they grow emotionally mature, we can learn correcting them more directly bit by bit.
Also, as we steer them away from music and need to fill in that void of our natural fitrah to love listening to beautiful sounds, try to also recite with nice melody, and get children used to listening to some beautiful Recitations from famous Qari.
Let’s get them to love Mishary, Sudais, Al-Hudhaifi and Al-Ghamidi instead of K-Pop!
3. Create memorable moments and memories of their memorization with us
Contrary to popular perception, memorizing Qur’an doesn’t have to be like sitting down in front of the mushaf, facing the Qiblah, etc. In fact, as far as I can recall, I have never memorized in that manner with Muawiyah. We will always recite together while doing an activity, mostly everyday stuff.
About twice a week, I will take him out for a walk immediately after he wakes up, while repeating the same surahs. The intent here is to raise him with notable memories that he would recite Qur'an with his father while talking a morning walk.
But beyond that, we recite Qur'an while he plays his trucks, airplanes, Lego and other toys to create a positive association of happy childhood memories with the sounds of the book of Allah.
It’s interesting to observe that sometimes it might seem like they aren’t playing attention amidst their imaginative dialogue, rumbling and tumbling – but you will be surprised at how active their subconscious memories are, that it still actively registers things even without them putting mindful effort into it. Many times we were caught by surprise by some random ayah that he just recites out of nowhere – turns out he WAS listening to us!
4. Focus on efforts, not results
Will Muawiyah remember these moments when he grows up? Will he still retain these memorization when he is 7 years old?
I have no idea. This isn't our place to judge. Our place is to put in the work.
The beautiful thing is, as Muslims we know that none of our efforts will be wasted, if we do our best (ref: surah Al-Kahf, ayah 30). Even if we don't see the reward here, we will surely see it in the Hereafter!
So, don’t get caught up about KPI's (“must memorize so-and-so juz by so-and-so age) or peer pressure of other children achieving such. It’s not about showing off your children’s achievements as a trophy for other parents; rather, it’s about earning the pleasure of Allah and leaving behind a positive legacy even after we die, insha Allah!
Just keep teaching, repeating. Trust the process, and insha Allah the results will come.
And for the record: Yes, it can feel mundane, repeating the same basic surah again and again. But let's not forget that firstly, the Prophet ﷺ said, "Allah will not get tired until you get tired" (Al-Bukhari)
Secondly, you will receive ten rewards of every letter recited, anyway!
5. Make it satisfying for us too!
To supplement our own connection with the book of Allah, what we can do is to learn the Tafsir for these basic surah so that as you repeat them, you can do tadabbur (reflection) as your are repeating it with your child. The more you recite, the more meaningful it can get!
6. Nurturing Love of the Qur'an starts with the parents
Parents often wonder: “How do we build the love for Qur’an in our children?”
The way I see it, it always boils down to this: If we want to instill in our children the Love for anything, WE need to love it first.
There is no secret backdoor. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it all comes back to the tried and true clichés: Lead by example. Actions speak louder than words.
Let your passion for the Qur’an be infectious.
There is nothing quite as satisfying and beautiful as witnessing our child recite Qur’an. The most heartwarming moments of our daily life are those moments that whenever Muawiyah is sitting by himself in a good mood, he murmurs passages of the Qur'an.
He doesn't sing nursery rhymes, children's songs, or some theme and tagline from a random cartoon.
Quran is his nursery rhyme.
I expect it will not be easy to sustain as he grows up and gets more and more exposed to other stuff in different environments (one word: cartoons), but if these recent develops are any indication, we take a lot of comfort and assurance from Allah, knowing that it is indeed achievable, if we put in the conscious effort to sustain, and improve upon it – insha Allah.
That’s it from us! Hope these tips will be helpful.
Please share your experience and your tips!
And if you have any advice for us in the years to come.
May Allah make us and our children amongst the People of Qur’an
Allahumma barik
Asalam Alaikum,
ReplyDeleteDear Brother, Jazak Allah Khair for sharing your experiences of teaching Qur'an to your son.
Now that a year and 4 months has gone by since this detailed post and I think your son is approaching 5 years old, would you please be able to provide an update on how your son's hifz journey is progressing?
In particular I would like to hear of anything further you have learnt as I have a 14 month old daughter who I would dearly love to achieve hifz at a young age.