The Prophet said,
تَهَادُوا تَحَابُّوا
"Give gifts and you will love one another." (Narrated in Adab Al-Mufrad of Al-Bukhari)
Whenever we go out for a walk, Muawiyah has a habit of picking up things he finds interesting, and giving it to us as a "present". An intriguing colored rock, a pretty seashell, a perfectly-shaped flower, a dropped fruit on the ground.
In our recent walk in the park, Muawiyah picked up these tiny flowers and gave one to Ibu and Abah each. 🌷🌷
When we returned to the car after finishing our morning walk, Muawiyah asked me, "Abah where is your flower?"
When I showed it to him, I could see a hint of a satisfied smile on his face. 😊
Then he turned to his mother: "Ibu?"
"Oh, Ibu threw it away already. Kat mana ntah"
Muawiyah: "Kenapa Ibu threw it away?"
We then changed the conversation topic something, but later out of nowhere, Muawiyah again asked, "Kenapa Ibu threw away the flower? Ha?"
As we arrived home about to leave the car, again he asked,
"Kenapa Ibu threw away the flower? Ha?"
Clearly, he wasn't too happy about getting rid of his "present".
When it comes to gifts, sometimes they don't seem like they have much value to us as the receiver, but it means a lot to the giver.
When we show disinterest, it can be disappointing to them.
.. And Don't we all feel this too?
As much as I try to be sincere, I know I certainly feel like this sometimes. When we give gifts to people and find out later that they apathetically chuck it away, didn't utilize/consume it, or gave it away, as much as we try to be sincere, sometimes we cannot escape the feeling that our gifts were "unappreciated" or "taken for granted".
If we adults feel this way, wouldn't our children feel the same?
Whenever Muawiyah "gives" any "presents", no matter how trivial, I make sure I do two things:
1. Thank him and acknowledge the gesture - One thing better than making others happy is to ALLOW others to make US happy. And wouldn't we want to give that to our kids?
2. Keep it and cherish it.
Now, in theory, this might sound like in the long run, we are constantly accumulating random stuff. But in practice, it doesn't take long for kids (especially little boy toddlers) to kind of forget about it, leave it off somewhere, and move on. And when that happens, you leave it off too 😁.
The big picture idea here is to inculcate generosity and the spirit of giving. If we trivialise their good gestures, we subconsciously discourage them from giving.
He doesn't have much, but what he does, he wants to give, so let's celebrate that. That's the little that he has and he wants to give away.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"One Dirham can be better (in rewards, in the sight of Allah) more than a hundred thousand Dirhams."
They said: "O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, how?" He said: "A person only had two Dirhams and gave one in charity,
Whereas another wealthy man took out a small par of his wealth and took out a hundred thousand Dirhams and gave them in charity."' (An-Nasa'ee)
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