What will people say about you when you go?

 

I recall a time when one of our leaders left the organization for retirement. During his farewell, it was a quite the grand party with a pretty impressive crowd: endless video testimonials of his greatness, his qualities, his contributions and how people were grateful were to have had the honour of working with him. 

But as time passed by, I began hearing different sides of the story. As I began having conversations with people across different departments, I started hearing remarks reminiscing about their stressful and frustrating experiences working with him: “it was so difficult to work with him”, “he gave us such a hard time”. Some even went as far as to remark how it was a “relief” that he finally left, and that since then, it has rekindled their joy of working. One person even expressed to me that “everyone knows how he really was”. 

Are these “offline conversations” a truer reflection of that person? Was it necessary for him to burn bridges as a price to pay to strive for greatness and success? 

Well, what is “success”, then? Where do you place “people” in the wake of your resume of “achievements”?

I recall this quote: “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

What will people say about us when we go? When we retire, when we die: How will we be remembered? Will people only remember the superficial aspects of our life, which will be forgotten almost immediately? What efforts have we consciously done – or are doing right now – to invest in others for their trust, respect, or love? 

A funeral procession passed in front of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and the people praised the deceased man and spoke highly of him. In response, the Prophet ﷺ said, "وَجَبَتْ" - "confirmed".

Then another funeral procession passed by and the people condemned this deceased man and spoke ill of him. The Prophet ﷺ said, وَجَبَتْ "confirmed"

The people asked the Prophet, "O Messenger of Allah! You said it has been affirmed for both?"

He ﷺ said,

شَهَادَةُ الْقَوْمِ، الْمُؤْمِنُونَ شُهَدَاءُ اللَّهِ فِي الأَرْضِ

"The testimony of the people (is accepted), for the believers are the witnesses of Allah on Earth." (Al-Bukhari)

This hadith puts the concerns into perspective: Testimonials of righteous people matter. 

Which is quite sobering, if you give it some thought. People of righteousness won’t be spitting out fake testimonials as a show. And the lesson here is that it’s not about putting on a superficial facade of righteousness. It’s about what they sincerely feel about you. 

And that is why, among the du’aa made by Prophet Ibrahim was,

وَاجْعَل لِّى لِسَانَ صِدْقٍ فِى الاٌّخِرِينَ 

“And grant me an honorable mention in later generations.” (Surah Ash-Shu’ara 26:84)

In commentary of this ayah, ibn Kathir says this means, “cause me to be remembered in a good manner after my death, so that I will be spoken of and taken as a good example.”

An Arab poet said,

“O son of Adam, when you came into this world, you were crying and people around you were smiling in happiness.

Live your live such that, when you leave this world, you are smiling in happiness, and people around you are crying”

May Allah grant us an honorable mention after we depart