What if we pray istikharah and things do not turn out the way we intended?

Recently, we made a decision which – at the time, we thought – was definitely the “right” choice, and the right thing . As the weeks went past by, circumstances occurred which made the decision increasingly difficult, and other external factors which made it seem more and more remote to ever happening – until eventually, it was impossible and was clear to us, that it was not meant to be *.

We were initially confused at the situation and even a little bit upset – as we thought it was a good decision for sure.

Until we remembered, that we made the prayer of Istikharah (seeking Counsel from Allah) regarding this decision. And then I am reminded of the words that we utter in that prayer :

وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي

“Oh Allah! If You know that this matter is not good to me In my religion and my life and in the Hereafter-

فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ

Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, And make me satisfied with it).” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

And it was then I learnt a valuable lesson – If, after our best efforts, all has failed, then He Willed for it to happen, within His Wisdom of Knowing what is Best for us. We may not see the wisdom yet, or perhaps we will never know – but our test as believers is to gauge our faith, on how much tawakkul (trust) we have in the Wisdom and Knowledge of Allah, if we are consistent with what we ask for in the prayer of istikharah.

Often times people make statements such as "I have prayed istikharah but nothing happened" - this is an indication of our lack of understanding on what the purpose of istikharah is.

Istikharah is about inquiring from the wisdom of Allah and asking Him to Facilitate our Affairs to what is Best. Sometimes what we perceive as something “good”, may in fact – in the big picture which we do not yet see – NOT be something good for us, in ways only Known to Allah. After all,

وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

“And perhaps, you may hate something, but it is in fact good for you

And perhaps, you may love something, but it is in fact bad for you

Allah Knows but you do not know” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216)

We need to remind ourselves that Allah is in Control of All affairs. If He can Will for a single man who was rejected by his own people for 13 years, eventually become the ruler of Arabia and become the most influential man in history (Muhammad ﷺ); and if He can foil the plots and plans of the most powerful tyrants in the world (Firawn) within the blink of an eye – then what is our request in comparison?

If anything, these incidents is also a deep lesson that we should perform istikharah for more of our actions – even the particularly ‘small’ and/or ‘unremarkable’ ones.

Allah can Make it Happen, or He can Withhold it : what we WANT is that whatever happens is the BEST outcome for us.

So Put our Trust in Allah - the Most Powerful, Most Merciful, All-Wise!

*No, it’s not marriage. Come on guys