Alhamdulillah 2017 has come to an
end. For most people, myself included, if they are asked to list out the most
impactful and meaningful experiences throughout the year, it will most likely
be a list of achievements, pleasant surprises, perhaps reunions with friends or
family, perhaps an exciting vacation, and so on.
And wAlhamdulillah, no doubt Allah
has been Gracious to us and we have indeed had our fair share of those.
But if I were to single out ONE
experience that had the most IMPACT to me as a person – that experience is an
unpleasant, in fact rather nasty one: when a 19-year old kid verbally abused me
and humiliated me in a public masjid.
While it might seem like a grim and
rather bleak choice, in hindsight, objectively speaking, it was the one that
had the most impact and effect on me as a human being – that had a deep and
profound impact to my character and realization of myself as a person, shaped
my perception on people, offered new perspective on other people’s perception.
This happened in June 2017, towards
the end of Ramadhan – when out of nowhere, this unknown person started to
attack me, hurling relentless insults at my character, accusing me of being a
deviant, calling me names like Wahabi and making all sorts of derogatory
remarks on my personal Facebook page, and also one of our Facebook group pages.
The surprising thing was, when I
looked at his Facebook profile, I recognized him – it was a teenage boy who I
frequently saw at the masjid, always together with the brothers and uncles of
the Jamaah Tabligh. While I’ve never spoken to him before, I always had a
respect for him and held him in high regard, as a person his age to frequently
pray at the masjid when many peers at his age wouldn’t even pray.
Which was kind of a shock to me that,
despite never having a conversation with me, he decides to break the ice by
literally burning down the relationship bridges – and decides to do it as a
keyboard warrior on social media, instead of being honest and upfront about it
face-to-face like a civilized man.
As I was in a state of shock, I knew
that I had to think long and hard before I posted a reply, and not just blast
out an emotional defensive response. I have always held to the personal
principle that social media is not a platform for debate or argument; to use it
wisely and for benefit of others. Restraining your emotions is a lot more difficult
than releasing them, and indeed there is great strength and virtue in restraint.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said
:
لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ،
إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ
"The strong is not the one who
overcomes the people by his strength, but the (truly) strong is the one who
controls himself while in anger."
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
.. And this was when my principles
were being put to the test. In spite of the clear impoliteness and insolence
shown, Allah granted me strength in me to give him the benefit of doubt that
“perhaps he has the wrong person”, or is in some kind of misunderstanding.
And wAlhamdulillah – in spite of the
shock and burning rage – I responded professionally, giving him salams, and
politely asking him can we meet up to discuss face-to-face at the Masjid after
Fajr (subuh / dawn prayers) the following day, and resolve any misunderstanding
– and that Facebook is only a medium of communication. He responded rudely,
saying he will bring his “ustaz” to defeat me and refute MY “misunderstanding”,
etc, to which I simply replied “Insha Allah =)” with a smiley emoticon
(side meta-note : thank God for
emoticons, my actual face and state of mind was furious).
It bothered and disturbed me the
entire night, but Alhamdulillah it gave me time to reflect back and think about
the kind of potential attacks he might hurl at me, and to prepare accordingly
on how I can respond in a wise manner.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid the
following morning, and as I was sitting quietly to myself reciting the morning
dzikir, after most of the congregation had dispersed, a small boy – around 5-6
years old – came up to me and says “so-and-so wants you to go and see him”.
Now, it is kind of insulting for a
teenager to act like a CEO or king, pick a fight with someone, and send a
5-year old bold to summon a 33-year old man who is quietly minding his own
business in worship at the masjid.
I simply replied to the boy, “if he
wants to see me, he can come here as we promised”.
The 19-year old eventually came. I
gave him salams, introduced myself – and the conversation started: he opened
fire on all cylinders.
The boy was arrogant, insolent and
emotional, calling me names, attacking my character, insulting my friends,
hurling baseless accusations at me, accusing me for things I did not do,
judging me for things that OTHER people do, etcetera.
I have never been insulted by any
other grown up adult – let alone an ignorant boy – in such a manner, not even
at the office.
I will spare the details but in
summary : I swear by Allah, it was the most hostile, prejudiced, biased,
and aggressive conversation I have experienced against me in my whole life.
Mind you, this was in a masjid
towards the end of Ramadhan – among the most beloved and blessed places to
Allah, during the most beloved and blessed times of the year.
Nevertheless I am glad that Allah
Guided me to respond well, for the most part. At the end of the 90-minute ‘conversation’
(or should I call it merciless onslaught), he simply lashed out at me and
rudely stormed out.
Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli Hal, he
deleted his derogatory comments on my Facebook. And a few days later,
QaddarAllah, just so happen he prayed beside me for Maghrib, wherein after that
he apologized to me, and since he did that, I choose to conceal his identity
and keep this between me, him and Allah – and only the few close family and
friends I consulted – and I am not going to question his “intentions” behind
it.
Here are the reasons why this
encounter was the most “Impactful” Experience of the 2017 –
1. A HUMBLING EXPERIENCE
Whenever I narrate this incident in
detail to the few people close to me, most of them feel enraged at the kind of
disrespect this teenage kid had towards me, and how much of a humiliating
scenario it was, especially at a public place at the masjid – in one of the
houses of Allah.
But when we reflect back at the life
of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, he was treated with
far worse – in fact, the worst levels of disrespect or disgrace faced by a
human being. And it wasn’t a one-off incident, either – it happened on multiple
occasions from many different people in different levels of society. One of the
worst incidents was the incident at Ta’if – when he called the people to
worship one God. The leaders not only rejected him, but they dishonored him in
front of the masses, and incited the little children to throw stones at him and
drive him away like a lowly animal, subhanAllah – until his feet were bleeding
and blood started to gel on his sandals.
And yet, when the angel Jibril came
and appeared to him, he offered to him,
“إِنَّ اللَّهَ قَدْ سَمِعَ قَوْلَ
قَوْمِكَ لَكَ وَمَا رَدُّوا عَلَيْكَ، وَقَدْ بَعَثَ إِلَيْكَ مَلَكَ الْجِبَالِ
لِتَأْمُرَهُ بِمَا شِئْتَ فِيهِمْ، فَنَادَانِي مَلَكُ الْجِبَالِ، فَسَلَّمَ
عَلَىَّ ثُمَّ قَالَ يَا مُحَمَّدُ، فَقَالَ ذَلِكَ فِيمَا شِئْتَ، إِنْ شِئْتَ
أَنْ أُطْبِقَ عَلَيْهِمِ الأَخْشَبَيْنِ”
'Allah has heard your people's saying
to you, and what they have replied back to you, Allah has sent the Angel of the
Mountains to you so that you may order him to do whatever you wish to these
people.'
The Angel of the Mountains called and
greeted me, and then said, "O Muhammad! Order what you wish. If you like,
I will let Al-Akh-Shabain (i.e. two mountains) fall on them (and destroy them)."
Prophet Muhammad’s response was
بَلْ
أَرْجُو أَنْ يُخْرِجَ اللَّهُ مِنْ أَصْلاَبِهِمْ مَنْ يَعْبُدُ اللَّهَ وَحْدَهُ
لاَ يُشْرِكُ بِهِ شَيْئًا
"No.. instead, I hope that
Allah will let them have CHILDREN – the future generations – who will worship
Allah Alone, and will worship None besides Him."
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari
and Muslim)
This was peak levels of mercy,
optimism and patience in a person. Look at the context of this incident – here
was a 60-year old man, the most honourable human being in the sight of Allah,
carrying the most honourable mission to invite mankind to worship God Alone
without Associating partners with Him, humiliated by little children pelting
stones at him, he had all the right in the world to exact revenge without
consequence.
And who am I to think that I
“deserve” respect from a foolish 19-year old boy who simply acted on his
emotions based on others’ slanderous prejudice?
The Prophet
said,
وَمَا
تَوَاضَعَ أَحَدٌ لِلَّهِ إِلاَّ رَفَعَهُ اللَّهُ
“..and the one who shows humility, Allah raises him (in rank, in
His Sights).” (Narrated by Muslim)
Taking a step back as well, it was a
powerful reminder on humility as a whole, and a reminder regarding the Prophet
Muhammad ﷺ as the prime
example of humbleness and the undefeatable benchmark amongst mankind. Despite
being the leader of Arabia, having access to all the riches in his national
treasury and the armies of the land at his feet, he consistently demonstrated a
deliberate decision to live a simple, unassuming life
-
Disbelievers would attack him and he
would still patiently listen and endure their verbal abuse
-
Even an old woman by the street would
grab him to help her to do her simple chores, and he would not refuse nor
assign his subordinates instead
-
A rude bedouin man would demand to
take the Prophet’s personal belongings, literally even the clothes on his back,
and he would not refuse
-
He would be on the ground with his
companions to do the ‘dirty work’ – to the extent of sometimes himself starving
even more than the poorest of companions
-
He would sit by his gatherings and be
unrecognizable from the others – he never wore special or distinct clothing
from the rest.
..And countless other examples.
لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّـهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَنْ
كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّـهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّـهَ كَثِيرًا
“There has certainly been for you an
example in the Messenger of Allah, for those who hope in Allah and the Last Day
and Remember Him much” (Qur’an surah al-Ahzab, verse 21)
2. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
Every argument is a learning process,
that I personally use to evaluate my own character, identifying room for
improvement and enhancement, and mentally preparing myself for similar
incidents that may happen in the future.
Perhaps this is one wisdom behind why
the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said,
إِنَّ
الْمُسْلِمَ إِذَا كَانَ مُخَالِطًا النَّاسَ وَيَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ خَيْرٌ
مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِ الَّذِي لاَ يُخَالِطُ النَّاسَ وَلاَ يَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ
“Indeed when the Muslim mixes with the
people and he is patient with their harm, he is better than the Muslim who does
not mix with the people and is not patient with their harm.'"
(HR At-Tirmidzi, dinilai sahih oleh
Al-Albani)
While I have had my fair share of
heated arguments at the workplace, it is important to note that the nature of
argument is completely different. In a professional environment, as high as the
emotions run, the goal is often to come to an agreement to fulfill an
organizational vision together. But when you’re dealing with an immature,
ignorant, teenage hothead filled with hatred – it’s a different beast entirely.
The person isn’t looking for answers, clarification or the truth – that person
is out for blood.
When taking into perspective the
following hadith, this incident was indeed my very own personal strength test –
the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
لَيْسَ
الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ، إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ
الْغَضَبِ
“The strong person is not the one who
overcomes others by his physical strength,
Rather, the (truly) strong person is
the one who controls himself in a state of anger” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and
Muslim)
The repeated verbal abuse I endured
was one that put my restraint willpower to the test. As demonstrated throughout
the life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
who dealt with countless more insolent antagonistic disbelievers, it taught us
that dealing with these kinds of people requires a different kind of skill –
you can’t fight fire with fire, that will only make things worse. Instead,
either keep silent, or for the one with true strength in character such as the
Prophet: to respond with kindness, as Allah said in the Qur’an :
وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي
بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ
“The good deed is not equal to the
evil deed – repel the evil deed with what is best,
And then (if you do so, you will find
that) the one with whom you had harbored enmity will be as though he is your
close friend!” (Qur’an, Surah Fussilat, verse 34)
And we indeed see throughout the
lifetime of the Prophet he did indeed displayed this behavior – and many of his
sworn enemies eventually became his closest friend – one such person is
Thumamah bin Uthal Al-Hanafi, who said,
يَا مُحَمَّدُ وَاللَّهِ مَا كَانَ عَلَى الأَرْضِ وَجْهٌ
أَبْغَضَ إِلَىَّ مِنْ وَجْهِكَ فَقَدْ أَصْبَحَ وَجْهُكَ أَحَبَّ الْوُجُوهِ
كُلِّهَا إِلَىَّ
“O Muhammad! I Swear by Allah,
there was no face on this Earth who was more hated to me than your face, but
now your face has become the most beloved of all faces to me” (Narrated by Ibnu
Majah, graded sahih)
But of course, let’s be honest: this
is NOT an easy task to achieve – which is why Allah mentioned in the following
verse after above,
وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا
يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ
“And none is granted it except the
one who is (truly) patient, and none is granted, except he is granted a great
portion (of reward)” (Surah Fussilat, verse 35)
And alhamdulillah, since I had time
to prepare, for the most part I responded calmly and well. But of course, naturally
when your temper meter is constantly being challenged, it’s bound to trip over
it once in a while, and unfortunately there are times when I lost my cool and I
wished I responded differently.
When the verbal abuse ended and as
the boy arrogantly stormed out, I spent many days contemplating back at the
things that were said to me, and the things I said in response. And as the
saying goes, “hindsight is 20-20” – when you look back it’s always clear what
you should have done differently instead; and having dealt with this kind of
character.
And to be completely fair and
objective, although 99% of the accusations were baseless personal slander
against me, there were one or two genuine constructive feedbacks, which I take
positively to be implemented.
One very important thing to note is,
sometimes (or in this case, many times), silence is the best response. When we
are under attack, due to the emotional state we are in, there is a tendency
that we will respond in an inappropriate manner, and might end up saying the
wrong things, transgressing acceptable boundaries, and end up saying things we
might regret. And then we have to go through the painstaking process of
apologizing, withdrawing what we have said, or making corrections.
There is a powerful quote by Imam
Ash-Shafi’ee who once said,
قل
بما شئت في مسبة عرضي, فسكوتي عن اللئيم جواب
“Say what you wish in abuse of me, For my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer.
أنا عادم الجواب ولكن, ما من الأسد أن تجيب الكلاب
I am not at a loss for a response,
but rather,It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs”
So having gone through this
experience opened up my eyes and made me more mentally prepared for future
arguments, should similar situations appear again. Two hadiths which I
personally always hold on to as driving principles in improving my character,
أَنَا زَعِيمٌ بِبَيْتٍ فِي رَبَضِ
الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْمِرَاءَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مُحِقًّا وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي وَسَطِ
الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْكَذِبَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مَازِحًا وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي أَعْلَى
الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ حَسَّنَ خُلُقَهُ
“I guarantee a house in the
surroundings of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he was the
right,
(I guarantee) a house in the middle
of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking,
And (I guarantee) a house in the higher
part of Paradise for a man who beautifies his character”
(Narrated in Sunan Abi Daud,
At-Tirmidzi and Ibnu Majah)
مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ
وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ
“Whomsoever believes in Allah and the
Last Day,
Say what is good – or just keep
quiet”
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari, Muslim and
others)
3. UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE’S PERCEPTIONS
While this boy was narrating to me
his accusations and insults, it was clear to me that these were not a product
of his own observations and fabrication – it was collective feedback from
others around him, people who were backbiting and slandering me behind my back,
as he continuously quoted “they say”, and “my friend told me”.
For many days following the event, I
was horrified by this sentiment, as this implied that the very people who I
have been praying next to – people whom I considered brothers in faith and whom
I held in high regard as Allah had guided them to be steadfast at praying at
the masjid – all this time were perceiving me in such a negative light, and
instead of clarifying it to me, choose to talk behind my back and slander me
for things I did not go.
And it was only after this incident
that I knew that apparently this isn’t an isolated ‘opinion’ – I have heard
other (seemingly unconnected) people mention the same thing, accusing me of
much worse, and yet none has ever sought clarification with me, instead
poisoning the minds of the local community.
I have always tried my best to put on
my best behaviour at the masjid and to treat others well, yet in spite of this,
people chose to take the evil route of backbiting.
But the thing is, to be really
objective and mature about the situation, I don’t know “WHO” were the ones
backbiting against me. And I’m not about to act like a conspiracy theorist,
being paranoid of others like a witch hunt, neither am I going to stereotype
entire groups of people like the Jamaah Tabligh for doing that, in the same
manner I hate it when people accuse “Islam” of being a bad religion and
propagating bad teachings, just because they observe “Muslims” for negative
behaviour.
It was a product of their own bad
attitude, negative personal evils, and personal devils (Shaytan) inciting
hatred in them, just as Prophet Ya’qub said to his son Yusuf, when he knew his
other sons would conspire against Yusuf out of jealousy
قَالَ يَا بُنَيَّ لَا تَقْصُصْ رُؤْيَاكَ عَلَىٰ إِخْوَتِكَ
فَيَكِيدُوا لَكَ كَيْدًا ۖ إِنَّ
الشَّيْطَانَ لِلْإِنْسَانِ عَدُوٌّ مُبِينٌ
And Prophet
Jacob (Ya’qub) said to his son Prophet Yusuf:
“O My son, do
not tell relate your dream to your brothers, for they will conspire against you
– verily, Shaytan is a plain enemy to man” (Qur’an surah Yusuf verse 5)
Just as the brothers of Yusuf, and in
this case, the people at my local masjid, it was the Shaytan in them that would
incite this hatred.
In a movie I remember watching many
years ago as a kid, the main protagonis – and in a separate scene, his daughter
– said,
“I trust everyone. It's the devil
inside them I don't trust”. #Trivia #CanYouGuess
It was also at this point of sadness
when Shaytan was playing tricks in my head, discouraging me from going to my
local masjid and becoming a means to prevent me from acts of worship. And this
is another danger I wanted to avoid : simply “giving up” whenever we get into
negative situations. Leaving groups, not attending classes, avoiding people,
stop going to a masjid, all because of our immaturity and weakness in
succumbing to the temptations of shaytan to give up. I hated seeing this in
another people, and I certainly did not want to be guilty of it myself.
Alas, as disappointing as it is, I continously
ask Allah to grant me patience and seek His Reward in it, for indeed Allah will
certainly recompense the one whom is a victim of backbiting and of slanders
behind his back.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ defined who is the truly bankrupt person
on the day of Judgment:
إِنَّ
الْمُفْلِسَ مِنْ أُمَّتِي يَأْتِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ بِصَلاَةٍ وَصِيَامٍ
وَزَكَاةٍ وَيَأْتِي قَدْ شَتَمَ هَذَا وَقَذَفَ هَذَا وَأَكَلَ مَالَ هَذَا
وَسَفَكَ دَمَ هَذَا وَضَرَبَ هَذَا فَيُعْطَى هَذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ وَهَذَا
مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ فَإِنْ فَنِيَتْ حَسَنَاتُهُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يُقْضَى مَا عَلَيْهِ
أُخِذَ مِنْ خَطَايَاهُمْ فَطُرِحَتْ عَلَيْهِ ثُمَّ طُرِحَ فِي النَّارِ
“The bankrupt of my nation would be
he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with (their good deeds of)
prayers, fasting and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as
he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon
others, brought slander against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of
others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his good deeds would
instead be given away to the account of one (who suffered at his hand).
And if his good deeds fall short to
clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would
be thrown in the Hell-Fire.” (Narrated by Muslim)
A fine illustration of this was a story I remember in a lecture we
attended many years ago; it was mentioned that Hasan Al-Basri (or in another
narration, Imam Ash-Shafi’ee himself) once found out that a person was
backbiting and slandering him behind his back. When he got to know of it, Hasan
went over to his house and passed him a basket of fruits. The man was puzzled,
and Hasan told him,
“I heard that you were backbiting against
me – so here, please take these basket of fruits. I do not know how else to
repay you for your good deeds”
#ResponseWin
#pwned
#GG
This story and the following verse of
the Qur’an are powerful reminders to hold on to, especially in times such as
these.
وَلَا تَهِنُوا وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَنْتُمُ الْأَعْلَوْنَ إِنْ
كُنْتُمْ مُؤْمِنِينَ
“So do not become weak, or grief –
and you will become superior, if you are indeed (true) believers
(Qur’an, Surah Ali – Imran, verse 139)
4. TO BE CONSCIOUS AND MINDFUL OF OUR
ACTIONS
Hearing from an antagonistic
perspective, it was clear to me that there were certain actions which were
deemed dislikeable to others, and would no doubt inadvertently shape a negative
perception on us.
Although much of this perception can
be ‘wrong’ or attribute to ignorance / lack of knowledge, it is better for us
who DO know, to be mindful of our own actions and to take the more wiser choice
of simply avoiding things which can be dislikeable to others.
Admittedly, this was not an easy
thing to do – of course, I have my own stance on things and I am happy to
clarify, but in understanding the nature of people around us, which do not seek
clarification, this simply becomes a matter of swallowing our pride and living
within the confines of tolerance and harmony to prevent discord and
misunderstanding.
Having said that, of course, in the
areas we cannot compromise, we still keep a firm stance and stand by our
principles – but in the “optional” areas, we take the wiser the deicision to take
simple liberties and blend in; and as stated by one of our teachers in the
past, this is the true definition of “wisdom” (Hikmah) – knowing where, when,
and how to apply knowledge.
And also a similar important thing to
note regarding perception, is that some actions are not befitting of a person
of our stature – certain things we do or say may be wrongfully attributed to
other parts of our life we represent – our family, organization we work for,
organizations we are involved with, or perhaps our religion as a whole.
Whether we realize it or not, we are
indirectly ambassadors to where we belong, and our actions might tarnish the
image or reputation of any of the above, and it is upon us to take ownership to
carry these representations with dignity and uphold their honor.
Now, like myself in the past, many of
my Muslim brothers would argue differently, questioning: why do we have to bend
by their rules and conform to their lack of knowledge?
An incident happened during the time
of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, in which he was
walking at night with his wife Safiyya bint Huyai. When two men of the Ansar
saw the Prophet – in the darkness of the night, potentially not recognizing the
woman walking together with the Prophet – the hurried away.
Why did they run away? Were they shy
of the Prophet? DDid they want to avoid seeing the Prophet with this lady at
night?
The Prophet then said to them, - عَلَى
رِسْلِكُمَا إِنَّهَا صَفِيَّةُ بِنْتُ حُيَىٍّ – “Walk calmly! This is (my
wife), Safiyyah bint Huyai”
The two Ansari companions were
surprised and remarked, - سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ – “Glory
be to Allah, oh Messenger of Allah!” indicating that they were shocked that the
Prophet clarified, because they would never have a negative perception or
harbor evil thoughts against the Prophet to be walking with a non-mahram
strange woman in the middle of the night.
But listen to the response of the
Prophet – he said,
إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَجْرِي مِنَ
الإِنْسَانِ مَجْرَى الدَّمِ، وَإِنِّي خَشِيتُ أَنْ يَقْذِفَ فِي قُلُوبِكُمَا
سُوءًا ـ أَوْ قَالَ ـ شَيْئًا
“Verily, Shaytan run in the body of
man like blood runs in the veins,
I was afraid that it (this sight) would
instill any evil (thoughts) in your heart.”
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
Now this hadith is a powerful lesson to
us that even the Messenger of Allah would have to sometimes clarify his actions
to ensure people don’t have a negative suspicion, and indirectly gave us a
warning how – no thanks to the work of Satan – some sights may raise suspicion
or evil thoughts in the eyes of others, despite it being absolutely normal
action.
So this is how I learn my lesson, and
to just avoid actions at the masjid and in the local community, which can
potentially raise suspicion or negative perceptions.
But I emphasize again, where we
cannot compromise, we don’t. This was the sunnah of the Prophet and our
righteous predecessors, and this is the sunnah I choose to follow.
5. A SILVER LINING
Although I may sound now as if I
didn’t take offence, as a human being naturally of course I was quite devastated
after that shocking encounter – I genuinely felt sadness in my heart not only
from the verbal abuse but the traumatic revelation that there are many people
around me who perceive me in such negative light.
But one thing I was glad I did, was I
kept it mainly to myself – I never exposed it on social media or other public
groups. I only told a few family members and a few close friends to get their
advice and point of view. Keeping mostly silent about certain events allows us
to reflect, contemplate and derive lessons from them, as opposed to exposing it
publicly, which in turn
1)
enrages our loved ones who may
inadvertently fuel our anger further, perhaps even blind us from looking at the
positive side of things, or
2)
could be just fishing for sympathy
from others, which could in turn make us weaker; or
3)
could possibly incite speculation or
hatred amongst others, and in the worst case could trigger fights between
people; or,
4)
it could potentially hand over
bullets to those who do hate us or have envy against us, for them to continue
their attacks.
But 7 months later, I choose to share
this right now with the intention that perhaps I can motivate and inspire
others when they face similar difficult circumstances, and to look at the
silver lining of things, and to derive the positive aspects of it all.
وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ
لَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ
يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
“Perhaps you might hate something when it is good for you,
And perhaps
you might love something when in fact it is bad for you
Allah Knows
but you do not know” (Qur’an Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 216)
Now having
said that of course, I am in no way validating what that boy did. His actions
are still no doubt sinful and an atrocious crime against a fellow Muslim brother.
But he came
to me and apologized a few days later, I smiled and accepted his apology and I
leave the matter between him and Allah.
It wasn’t an
easy thing to do, but I always hold on to the powerful lessons of forgiveness
as demonstrated in Surah Yusuf. If Prophet Yusuf – in spite of the heinous
crimes of his brothers against him as a child, throwing him into the well,
inadvertently forcing him into a life of slavery, eventually being accused of adultery
and finally imprisoned until his adult years many years later – and later on
finally, as the Minister of Egypt, now, having publicly met his brothers and having
the complete upper hand and full power to exact revenge and punish them for
their crimes, his response was :
قَالَ لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ ۖ يَغْفِرُ اللَّـهُ لَكُمْ ۖ وَهُوَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ
“No blame will there be upon
you on this day – may Allah forgive you.
And He is the
Most Merciful of those who give mercy” (Surah Yusuf, verse 92)
Allahu Akbar.. what amazing level of
forgiveness.
In
conclusion, what is important to learn from this post is to gain wisdom in our
every day events, and to find strength in turning those ever-so-sour lemons
into the lemonade.
What people see on the surface is one
thing – but only Allah knows what is truly underneath and how we choose to act
with that we learn from the lessons in life.
May Allah forgive all our
shortcomings, make us amongst those who continuously perfect our character and
grant us with the highest levels of Paradise, and may Allah protect us from the
evil of backbiting and dishonoring our fellow Muslims.
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