Work From Home: 6 Reminders, Tips & Guidelines

Starting last week, our organization – and many others across the country – has initiated the directive to “Work from Home” (#WFH) as a measure to support the national directive on the #MovementControlOrder (#MCO). And just like for many others out there, this is a new and unfamiliar experience for me, personally – especially on this massive scale, impacting virtually all of our colleagues and contractors too.

To ease the transition towards this new way of working, here are some reminders I prepared, primarily to keep myself disciplined and in check, and also as a reminder to all my fellow WFH colleagues out there. 

1. Have Integrity: This is not a holiday
2. Request for cooperation and understanding from members of your household
3. Discipline Yourself and Be Responsive in Communication
4. Find & Create Conducive, Productive Working Environments at Home 
5. Get Organized: Create Daily Work Task Checklists
6. “Embrace the Suck”: That’s Life, Make the Best out of it.


Bismillah..

1. Have Integrity: This is not a holiday

We need to remind ourselves that this is most definitely not a vacation. Yes, we are working within the comfort of our personal homes, but there are still professional regulations and codes of conduct for us to follow – for some of us, this also includes minimum working hours.  

Remind ourselves: At the very least, our salary and livelihood depends on our integrity to fulfill our responsibilities to earn that paycheck. 
For my fellow Muslim colleagues out there, this is no small matter. Our negligence in upholding integrity and professionalism in this aspect here could very well result in our rizq (provisions in the form of our income) being deprived of Allah’s blessings (barakah), maybe even unlawful / haram – and consequently, this could vey well result in our du’aa (prayers and supplications) not being responded to. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

إنَّ اللَّهَ طَيِّبٌ لَا يَقْبَلُ إلَّا طَيِّبًا، وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ أَمَرَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ بِمَا أَمَرَ بِهِ الْمُرْسَلِينَ فَقَالَ تَعَالَى: "يَا أَيُّهَا الرُّسُلُ كُلُوا مِنْ الطَّيِّبَاتِ 
وَاعْمَلُوا صَالِحًا"،
“Verily, Allah the Almighty is Good and accepts only those (deeds) which are good (i.e. pure). And verily Allah has commanded the believers to do that which He has commanded the Messengers. 
So the Almighty has said: “O (you) Messengers! Eat of the tayyibat [all kinds of halal (legal) foods], and perform righteous deeds.” (Surah Al-Mu’minun, 51)

 وَقَالَ تَعَالَى: "يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُلُوا مِنْ طَيِّبَاتِ مَا رَزَقْنَاكُمْ"
and the Almighty has said: “O you who believe! Eat of the lawful things that We have provided you.” (Surah Al-Baqarah, 172)

 ثُمَّ ذَكَرَ الرَّجُلَ يُطِيلُ السَّفَرَ أَشْعَثَ أَغْبَرَ يَمُدُّ يَدَيْهِ إلَى السَّمَاءِ: يَا رَبِّ! يَا رَبِّ! وَمَطْعَمُهُ حَرَامٌ، وَمَشْرَبُهُ حَرَامٌ، وَمَلْبَسُهُ حَرَامٌ، وَغُذِّيَ بِالْحَرَامِ، فَأَنَّى يُسْتَجَابُ لَهُ؟
Then he (ﷺ) mentioned [the case] of a man who, having journeyed far, is disheveled and dusty, and who spreads out his hands to the sky (making du’aa and) saying “O Lord! O Lord!,”: while his food is haram (unlawful), his drink is haram, his clothing is haram, and he has been nourished with haram, so how can [his supplication] be answered? 
(Hadith Narrated by Muslim)


2. Discipline Yourself & Be Responsive

Just because bosses aren’t within your physical proximity doesn’t give you an excuse to compromise your work ethic, professionalism or quality. 

For our team, since we use WhatsApp as one of the primary tools for instantaneous group communication, it is impractical to instruct “phones off” during working hours – but at the very least have the integrity and discipline not to waste working hours doing non-productive things such as social media, YouTube, and leisure reading on WhatsApp, and so on. We should especially put the conscious effort to be mindfully present during your online meetings and teleconferences. Just because you are “in” the virtual conversation, no one can tell if you are actually doing anything else – even if you switch on your webcam for others to see. (I know people who have developed the skill of keeping a straight pokerface while watching sitcoms and comedies.)

While this may seem “obvious”, I feel this simple reminder needs re-emphasis because even when we were IN the office, I notice many colleagues who are guilty of this even in physical meetings. Now even more so of a risk. 

I need to emphasize also a very important aspect of professionalism which often gets overlooked: communication responsiveness. The only way Working from Home can be effective is that we are extra vigilant and disciplined, to be contactable and RESPONSIVE in all our communications on the electronic means our companies have provided for us – in our case, via Skype for Business – especially during peak office hours (10am – 4pm).

Reflecting on my professional experience even before the MCO, I have witnessed many people who jut aren’t bothered on responding on e-mail, Skype, or phone communication, and this includes leaders, managers, even those who are specifically accountable to respond to you. 
Poor rate of responsiveness can be either due to : 
A. Deliberate ignorance / Apathy a.k.a. “mengelat” – to evasively escape any form of responsibility whatsoever
B. Indecisiveness – a lack of courage to provide a response out of giving the ‘wrong information’, or simply a refusal to respond of confidentiality 
C. “Too busy” to notice your communication

Sure, by default, we act as professionals and take the route of “sangka baik” / “husnu dzon” / “have positive thoughts of others” and assume it’s possibility C. But after clear-cut evidence such as repeated e-mails, obvious “blue double ticks” on WhatsApp, and immediately closing your Skype chatbox as soon as they read your message, we can definitey rule this out.
If the issue was indecisiveness, incapability or confidentiality (Possibility B) then be a good professional and just honestly inform that “I don’t know” or with all due respect, “I cannot provide the answer”. Don’t leave people hanging, delaying others’ tasks, and leaving them in the dark. Just give us a clear direction – painful or offensive it may seem – but we are bound to be professionals, accept it and Alhamdulillah we can move on.

But when you don’t respond, then we will go on to Possibility A: Deliberate Ignorance, which is classic showcase of poor professionalism and – to me – a lack of integrity and honesty. I have always believed that a bad response is better than no response. I would rather have people reject my requests and outright state their refusal to cooperate, instead of people just ignoring our communication attempts. At least, honest rejection allows us to make immediate alternative decisions.  

Though it may sound trivial, simple things like responsiveness can go a long way towards Nurturing Trust with others in the organization and a demonstration of your Ownership in organizational success. So far, second week in, it’s working out pretty okay and there’s definitely some improvement over last week, but insha Allah we still have room to improve. 


3. Request for cooperation and understanding from members of your household

In recognition of #1 above (This is work, not a holiday), one of the things I recommend we need to do is to have a transparent, honest communication to ASK the members of our household to give us the space and support to perform our work tasks, especially during those required office hours. 

Because some of us full-time office workers aren’t at home most of the working week, our sudden continuous presence in the household on a daily basis may result in our family members “forget” that we are really working, and there is a tendency they might subconsciously take advantage of our presence in the house all day and expect us to do spend excessive time to do favors for them, entertain them, or perform extensive house chores during office hours, detracting us from our core responsibilities. 

Request for their cooperation and support; don’t just “expect them to understand”. Let them know when is “working time”, “luch time”, and so on. Let them know what kind of short burst tasks are acceptable for you to entertain.
Sure, this may be difficult at first (for us to say, and the receiving party to accept) and perhaps might even initially trigger some tough discussions – but better be upfront and honest about it now, instead of holding it in and gradually causing tension and ruin the relationship throughout the MCO period.

I also find this a powerful tip as a “work-life balance” internal switch. As we are at home and may sometimes have to “ignore” or even outright “reject” requests from family members to spend time with them – especially during online meetings – this may trigger feelings of guilt or irresponsibility. That certainly happened to me too, but after this clear-cut declaration and demarcation, it was easy to switch.

Remember – everyone within your household will most likely be “trapped” with each other for the next 2 weeks, so it’s best that we iron out all the expectations as transparently as we can, so we can live in harmony to strike that work-life balance as a family.


4. Find & Create Conducive, Productive Working Environments at Home

Prep your home environment to be conducive to your productivity: at the very least, take the time to prep have a nice, uncluttered working space with reasonably good ergonomics to be able to work during office hours. 

But not everything works for everyone. I for one, cannot work effectively on a sofa, bean bag or cross legged on the floor. Find the ones which assist you towards performing your job more effectively, even when it comes to “workstation tidiness”: I heard a productivity tip that a tidy workspace cultivates productivity, and a messy workspace can cultivate creativity. Since my job task as a process engineer in a project team leans toward productivity, a tidy workstation is way more conducive. 
There are lots of other useful "Work From Home" productivity tips we can look up online. One particularly interesting one that I recently tried to implement is to wear formal work clothes, even if you are at home. In addition to gearing up your mindset properly geared to the working mood, this also serves as a practical step to condition your family members that you are actually proper "working", not just sitting around the house in front of the laptop. Especially for our 2-year old Muawiyah who suddenly has Abah at home all day at the desk and now he wants Abah to play with him all the time. 
On a normal non-MCO office work day, my son knows that if I wear formal clothes, I am about to leave the house to do something necessary, which is "work". Sometimes, this does make him upset and so I have to comfort, negotiate and explain to him before he begrudgingly accepts. In that same way, wearing “work baju” here i can train him to understand that “Abah is getting ready to work now, so we’ll play later ok?” – and so later when office hours are over, I switch back to regular home clothes to signify that we can play now. Yay!

For this conditioning to work, this also requires a bit of mental training on my side, to resist the temptations of extended "play time" during office hours. 

But of course, let’s get real. Short bursts of distractions and house chores are unavoidable – in fact, little  “energizer” activities can actually be helpful to elevate our mood and boost our overall productivity. And, if you are like me, it’s almost impossible to actually sit down and focus on doing one mentally demanding task for over an hour. After all, let's be honest guys, who doesn't entertain distractions or perform non-productive activities at all in the office every once in a while? 


5. Get Organized: Create Daily Work Task Checklists

Though this may come under the general banner of “productivity” in Tip #4, I feel this is so important it warrants its own separate entry: put up a daily-updated work task check list to be done, especially at the start of the day before we get into the “firefighting” momentum. 

Without people coming by our workstation to trigger adhoc requests or create a sense of urgency for the tasks, it can sometimes create the illusion that there’s “nothing happening” and may inadvertently result in a feeling of inactivity or complacency. On the other hand also, when so many different simultaneous online conversations are happening at the same time, we might get disoriented on where we should zoom in our current efforts. 

I find that in order to keep focused on my deliverables, I need to break down my tasks into practical, measurable steps. For example, instead of putting a blanket “Submit report”, break it down to really detail tasks such as  “obtain project background from project engineer”, “perform simulation case 3A”, “re-assess commercial estimate basis”, “reconfirm data with operations”, “attach assumption in Appendix”, “forward to senior for review”, etc. 

Another side-benefit of doing this from a mental health perspective, is that totally Boss feeling of looking at what you have accomplished at the end day. Once you cross out the daily tasks you are supposed to perform and look back at the achievement milestones you have, you can’t help but feel that dopamine boost in your head and positive effect on your morale.  

And just like it is effective in the real office environment, it is also a good idea to get in touch with your work mates early in the week for a short “huddle” to update everyone else what we are doing for the week, so we clearly inform each other and where applicable can hold each other accountable to their respective work arrangements.


6. “Embrace the Suck” – That’s Life. Let’s Make the Best out of it, and Make it Work. 

Look guys, I admit: as an Engineer, I'm old school - I am at my best productivity in the physical office. I alwas prefer reading reports and reviewing drawings in hard copy. As a personal rule, I always resort to face-to-face communication first to discuss or resolve anything as the most efficient way possible, and personally I have always hated the inefficiency and potential miscommunication of electronic communication means such as e-mail or Skype. And being the cheapskate that I am, I admittedly always appreciate the unlimited free supply of drinking water.

But we can't have that now. And there's no use fighting it, being upset about it, or using it as an excuse – that’s life. So in light of this restriction (and how it also affects other aspects of our life), this is where I apply a principle which is widely known in the US Military slang as “Embrace the Suck”:  Accept the situation for what it is, stay positive, and make the best out of what is available. 

Things aren’t “ideal” now, they may even be difficult, but they could certainly be worse! Complaining and whining about things beyond our control never resolved anything – so let’s focus on what we CAN do. Keep our heads up, keep it pro and deliver like a champ. 

I just realized that this description pretty much describes organizational Cultural Beliefs called “OWN IT!” and i could have just resorted to that. But I thought I switch things around to keep things fresh. We are #WorkingFromHome after all.


Closing thoughts 

If we all play our part to keep the pandemic at bay - follow the quarantine and hygiene guidelines - I am optimistic that within the next few weeks, this pandemic will pass as another historical "phase" in our history and we resume our normal lives, insha Allah. 

And at the end of the day, when the dust has settled, the outcome of these "work from home" measures will certainly reveal if our organizations are "ready" or effective to implement WFH policies in the future, even without the presence of pandemic outbreaks. 

A few years back, I remember one staff asking our Human Resources VP about the possibility of our organization to implement a WFH concept. Her response is that “in order for it to work, there needs to be a certain level of trust”. And so here is our chance to prove that we can make it work: if we all put an honest professional attitude to collectively Nurture Trust, in the same way that we need to collectively play our part patiently bear with the MCO policies to stay at home to #FlattenTheCurve and contain the outbreak.


To all my awesome colleagues, see you back at the office in a few weeks time, insha Allah – hopefully, still in shape, and healthier than ever. Please, don’t repeat the same mistake that Thor did #FatThor. 

The Prophet ﷺ commanded us to instill excellence in everything that we do:

إنَّ اللَّهَ كَتَبَ الْإِحْسَانَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ
“Verily, Allah has prescribed (that you perform with) ihsaan (excellence) in every single thing (you do)” (Muslim) 


May Allah accept and grant blessings to all our work tasks, and grant us goodness in dunya and akhirah.

Tip: Keep a Personal Household Productivity Journal

💡 Tip: Keep a Personal Household Productivity Journal while you #JustStayAtHome during this #MovementControlOrder period

Since all of us are in "lock down mode", it is crucial that we all maintain good discipline in our personal productivity and self-care. Don't allow these days of self-isolation to let us slip into lethargy, addiction, apathy, complacency, or non-productivity. 

What I recommend us all to do is to start writing a daily household journal where everyone writes down all the things they did everyday - e.g. MCO day #5.
Whatever you track and measure, that gets accomplished.

For this to work:

1. Write down all the "positive" productive things in the journal - e.g. Whether you did any good reading (and how many pages/chapters you read), did any (home-based) exercise, cooked healthy meal(s), house chores completed, any creative/fun activities you did or came up with your family members, any productive online lectures/podcasts you listen to, what good messages/reminders have you shared with others online, how many sunnah prayers you performed, what have you memorized/revised from the Qur'an, attended any online e-learning classes/modules, major work tasks accomplished, and so on. It can be as basic or as detailed as you want.

2. Write down also all the things you consider as "non-productive" which you honestly feel you should be doing less of - e.g. How much time you spent on social media, video games andlYouTube, how many TV episodes or movies you've been watching, video games, "unhealthy"  meals you ate, "guilty pleasure" fake news regarding #COVID19, and etcetera.

3. Work as a team: Let everyone be each other's coach!
In order for this to be even more effective, ensure everyone (or at least, as many people as possible) in the household writes in the same journal, so you are all able to view each other's achievements.
At the end of the day, schedule a time to read the daily entries together, acknowledge and positively reinforce each others' achievements 🤝, and also 'trigger' /remind each other and hold ourselves accountable if someone slips or starts to slack  👀.

With the right collaborative attitude, mindset, discipline and dedication, turn this MCO into a family team building event!

"Solat Jemaah Ditangguhkan" 😭😭😭

"Solat Jemaah Ditangguhkan" 😭😭😭

Satu Refleksi Perutusan Khas YAB PM (Perintah Kawalan Pergerakan) pada 16 Mac 2020 Mengenai COVID-19

Sebagai langkah untuk mengelakkan penularan wabak COVID-19 ini, semua aktiviti solat jemaah dan Jumaat di tangguhkan dari 17-26 Mac. 

Pada permulaannya, sebenarnya saya berasa sedih dengan pemutusan ini, bukan sahaja kerana terputusnya amalan harian yang terpenting dan paling bernilai di sisi Allah dalam kehidupan kita sebagai Muslim, tetapi secara peribadi, bagi saya solat di masjid menjana banyak amalan produktif yang lain, dan ia jugalah antara aktiviti kekeluargaan "father and son bonding" harian bersama anak saya Muawiyah untuk luangkan masa di masjid, terutama sekali pada waktu isyak. 

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal, inilah situasi yang ditakdirkan ke atas umat kita, maka atas nasihat daripada kenalan ahli keluarga serta rakan-rakan yang baik, saya ambil keputusan untuk tangguhkan / elakkan kehadiran solat jemaah di masjid, dan berhenti pergi mulai semalam (16 Mac 2020). Terutama sekali setelah di wawarkan bahawa beberapa kes positif dikesan ada kaitan dengan mereka yang hadir perhimpunan ijtimak di Sri Petaling, dan Kami sedia maklum bahawa beberapa jemaah di qariah masjid kami di Miri telah hadir ijtimak tersebut. Akhirnya setelah mendapat arahan rasmi dari PM kita, kita perhatikan mulai hari ini, masjid-masjid pun telah bertindak untuk tutup.

Di sini saya serta kan beberapa peringatan penting untuk diri saya untuk mengambil perspektif yang matang dalam bab ini, dan saya harap semoga ianya dapat memberi manfaat kepada saudara dan sahabat saya yang tercinta, terutama di kalangan kaum lelaki: 


1. Ikhlaskan niat 

Pasangkan niat yang jelas di hati: bila kita buat pilihan untuk tangguhkan solat Jemaah, ia bukanlah “buat alasan" untuk "ponteng solat jemaah". Sebaliknya, kita mengambil keputusan jelas untuk tangguhkan amalan ini buat masa ini, demi kemaslahatan yang lebih besar yakni mengelakkan mudarat yang bakal timbul, di samping menurut perintah kepimpinan (amir) kita dalam menangani wabak ini. Perlu di ingatkan juga bahawa Menahan diri dari sesuatu demi Allah juga adalah ibadah, bukan sekadar “mengelat”. 

Ada yang berhujjah bahawa “kalau sihat, maka pergilah!” – tetapi hakikat wabak ini berbeza, kerana simptom virus ini hanya akan kelihatan dalam 2-14 hari selepas dijangkiti. Seseorang boleh kelihatan “sihat” tetapi mungkin sudah dijangkiti, dan boleh bertindak sebagai “carrier”, kemudian baru ditemui simptom lain. 

Seorang pemain Basketball dalam pasukan Utah Jazz mengambil ringan perkara ini kerana tidak kelihatan simptom Covid19 ini pada dirinya, malah beliau mengajuk bermain-main sehingga menyentuh-nyentuh orang lain termasuk pihak media – dan sebagai akibat tindakan tidak bertanggungjawab beliau, pemain lain juga terkena, dan ternyata, selepas kejadian tersebut beliau sendiri diuji positif dengan penyakit ini sehingga kan NBA bertindak terus menangguhkan musim permainan. 

Bagaimana pula kalau kita dalam kelalaian kita menganggap kita "sihat", boleh secara tidak sengaja menjangkiti orang lain? 

Bertindak atas niat untuk menyelamatkan nyawa orang lain juga adalah ibadah - 

 وَمَنْ أَحْيَاهَا فَكَأَنَّمَا أَحْيَا النَّاسَ جَمِيعًا 
".. dan sesiapa yang menjaga keselamatan hidup seorang manusia, maka seolah-olah dia telah menjaga keselamatan hidup manusia semuanya." (Surah Al-Ma'idah, 32)

2. Berharap dengan Allah, Mudah-mudahan tetap dikurniakan juga pahala amalan tersebut 

Kalaulah benar kita berazam dan berniat ikhlas untuk solat berjemaah di masjid untuk solat fardhu, maka ketahuilah, para Malaikat sudah mencatit dalam amalan anda bahawasanya anda mendapat pahala penuh solat Jemaah tersebut, insha Allah. Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda, 

إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَتَبَ الْحَسَنَاتِ وَالسَّيِّئَاتِ، ثُمَّ بَيَّنَ ذَلِكَ فَمَنْ هَمَّ بِحَسَنَةٍ فَلَمْ يَعْمَلْهَا كَتَبَهَا اللَّهُ لَهُ عِنْدَهُ حَسَنَةً كَامِلَةً، فَإِنْ هُوَ هَمَّ بِهَا فَعَمِلَهَا كَتَبَهَا اللَّهُ لَهُ عِنْدَهُ عَشْرَ حَسَنَاتٍ إِلَى سَبْعِمِائَةِ ضِعْفٍ إِلَى أَضْعَافٍ كَثِيرَةٍ،
“Sesungguhnya Allah telah mengarahkan bagaimana penulisan amal soleh dan amal dosa itu dicatit, dan kemudian dijelaskan bagaimana iana dicatit:
Maka barangsiapa yang berniat (ikhlas) untuk melakukan satu kebaikan, tetapi tidak Berjaya melaksanakannya, maka Allah akan menulis untuknya pahala amalan yang penuh baginya.
Dan jika ia dapat mengerjakannya, maka Allah menulis untuknya sepuluh sehinggalah tujuh ratus kali ganda pahala amalannya itu, bahkan lebih lagi..” (HR Al-Bukhari dan Muslim)

Tetapi perlu diingatkan di sini – seseorang itu tidak akan mendapat pahala ini sekadar angan-angan kosong sahaja! 

Apa yang mencerminkan sama ada niat kita benar-benar ikhlas? Perhatikan amalan seseorang sebelum berlakunya Perintah Kawalan Gerakan ini. 

Kalaulah seseorang itu amalannya memang istiqamah dan konsisten dalam amalan menunaikan solat fardhu berjemaah di masjid, maka ianya insha Allah adalah hujjah baginya, dan kita berharap agar mereka (kita) tergolong antara mereka yang diberi ganjaran seolah-olah situasi "normal" yang sihat di rumah seperti Sabda Rasulullah ﷺ :

 إِذَا مَرِضَ الْعَبْدُ أَوْ سَافَرَ كُتِبَ لَهُ مِثْلُ مَا كَانَ يَعْمَلُ مُقِيمًا صَحِيحًا
"Jika seorang hamba sakit atau bermusafir, maka akan dituliskan baginya seperti apa yang diamalkannya ketika ia bermukim dan sihat” 
(HR Al-Bukhari)

Di dalam komentari beliau mengenai hadith ini, Ibnu Hajar Al Asqalani menyebut, 

وَهُوَ فِي حَقّ مَنْ كَانَ يَعْمَل طَاعَة فَمَنَعَ مِنْهَا وَكَانَتْ نِيَّته لَوْلَا الْمَانِع أَنْ يَدُوم عَلَيْهَا
Ianya ialah bagi orang yang ingin melakukan ketaatan/amalan tetapi terhalang dari melakukannya dan dia mempunyai niat sekiranya tiada penghalang, amalan tersebut akan dijaganya. (Fathul Bari) 

  
3. Rilek.. Tok soh la gaduh-gaduh, abe

وَقُل لِّعِبَادِي يَقُولُوا الَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَنزَغُ بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كَانَ لِلْإِنسَانِ عَدُوًّا مُّبِينًا
Dan katakanlah kepada hamha-hamba-Ku: "Hendaklah mereka mengucapkan perkataan yang lebih baik. Sesungguhnya syaitan itu menimbulkan perselisihan di antara mereka. Sesungguhnya syaitan itu adalah musuh yang nyata bagi manusia.” (Surah Al-Isra, 53)

Sepatutnya, pada masa musibah pandemik inilah yang memerlukan kita untuk memainkan peranan untuk berkongsi kata-kata positif, menguatkan semangat serta memberi galakkan kepada para sahabat kita dalam berhadapan dengan musibah ini. Inilah ajaran Sunnah Rasulullah ﷺ:

لَا عَدْوَى وَلَا طِيَرَةَ وَيُعْجِبُنِي الْفَأْلُ ، قَالُوا وَمَا الْفَأْلُ؟ قَالَ: كَلِمَةٌ طَيِّبَةٌ.
Maksudnya: "Tidak ada ‘adwa dan tidak ada tiyarah (kepercayaan sial). Akan tetapi, yang menyenangkanku (membuatkan aku kagum) adalah al-fa'lu".
Para sahabat bertanya: Apakah al-fa'lu itu? 
Baginda menjawab: “Iaitu kata-kata yang baik.”
(Hadith Riwayat al-Bukhari dan Muslim) 

Seronok, tersenyum juga saya bila melihat ramai menggunakan ‘musim’ ini dalam berkongsi pelbagai mesej lawak yang kreatif, seperti gambar graduasi semua sahabat sekelas memakai mask, dan gambar jenaka tentang “realiti” bekerja dari rumah. Tiada masalah dalam bab ini selagi semuanya bersikap hormat dan tidak melampaui batas, terutama sekali bersikap sensitif terhadap mereka yang dijangkiti. 

Sebaliknya pula, sangat sedih memerhatikan reaksi tidak matang di laman media sosial. Ramai mangambil kesempatan untuk mengambil peluang "tumpang glamor" menyebarkan berita palsu dan menakut-nakutkan masyarakat. 
Yang lagi mengecewakan apabila ada di kalangan 'ahli agama', termasuk lah di kalangan orang Awam - yang sepatutnya menjadi tunjang motivasi masyarakat - bergaduh sesama sendiri, menuding jari, mencetuskan konflik hingga umat berpecah-belah dan berpuak-puak, sedangkan saat-saat yang paling memerlukan ikatan ukhuwah, sokongan dan kefahaman sesama kita. 

Wahai sahabatku, inilah masa untuk kita matangkan diri kita. Change begins with you and I. Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum sehingga mereka terlebih dahulu mengubah diri sendiri. 


Kalaulah tidak mampu untuk berkata sesuatu yang baik, sekurang-kurangnya tidak perlulah untuk merosakkan lagi keadaan. Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda

وَمَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ
“Barangsiapa yang beriman kepada Allah dan Hari Akhir, maka katakanlah yang baik, atau diam sahaja!” (HR Al-Bukhari dan Muslim)


4. Solat awal tetap kena jaga, ya Bang.. 

Tidak menunaikan solat jemaah di masjid bukanlah alasan untuk kita menangguh-nangguhkan solat: Tetap kena solat awal pada waktunya, kerana ianya amalan yang paling dicintai oleh Allah. Disiplinkan diri untuk jadikannya prioriti harian anda, meskipun di rumah.

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَىُّ الْعَمَلِ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ قَالَ ‏"‏ الصَّلاَةُ عَلَى وَقْتِهَا ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ ثُمَّ أَىُّ قَالَ ‏"‏ ثُمَّ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ ثُمَّ أَىّ قَالَ ‏"‏ الْجِهَادُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ ‏"‏‏
Abdullah ibn Mas’ud meriwayatkan, aku telah bertanya kepada Nabi ﷺ : “Apakah amalan yang paling dicintai oleh Allah?”
Baginda menjawab, “Solat (awal) pada waktunya”  (HR Al-Bukhari)

Daripada Ummu Farwah yang meriwayatkan : Rasulullah ﷺ telah ditanya, amalan manakah yang paling afdhal (sebaik-baik amalan)? Rasulullah menjawab, 
"الصَّلاَةُ فِي أَوَّلِ وَقْتِهَا"
“(Menunaikan) Solat pada awal waktunya”
(HR Abu Daud, dinilai sahih oleh Al-Albani)‏

Malah, gunakanlah peluang ini untuk berjemaah bersama ahli keluarga di rumah. 


5. Manfaatkan masa dan Kesihatan anda 

Saya sarankan dan ingatkan diri saya serta sahabat-sahabat sekalian yang masih dikurniakan kesihatan, manfaatkanlah masa anda dengan sebaik-baiknya. Janganlah sekadar menghabiskan waktu ini dengan menonton movie marathon dan "binge-watch" siri televisyen semata-mata. 
Sebaliknya, gunakanlah peluang ini untuk mengukuhkan amal soleh kita - terutama sekali bersama ahli keluarga kita yang tercinta dalam situasi "kuarantin" ini - dalam bersiap sedia untuk pertemuan kita dengan Allah, serta mengukuhkan perhubungan kekeluargaan dan silaturrahim sesama mereka yang tinggal sebumbung dengan kita pada zaman kuarantin ini.

Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda :

نِعْمَتَانِ مَغْبُونٌ فِيهِمَا كَثِيرٌ مِنْ النَّاسِ الصِّحَّةُ وَالْفَرَاغُ
“Dua nikmat yang sering ‘maghbun’ (dirugikan) oleh kebanyakan manusia adalah kesihatan dan waktu lapang.” (HR Al-Bukhari)

Kata Ibnu al-Jauzi tentang Hadith ini, ''Terkadang manusia itu sehat, tapi tidak memiliki kesempatan luang karena kesibukannya dengan urusan dunia. Ada juga yang memiliki kesempatan luang, namun tidak sehat. Ketika dua hal ini ada pada diri manusia, ternyata membuat mereka malas untuk taat kepada Allah, maka inilah orang-orang yang maghbun.''


Sepertimana yang banyak dikongsi sebelum ini dan saya akan ulangi di sini: 
Statistik dunia menunjukkan daripada mereka yang terkesan dengan COVID19, ada kebarangkalian 3-4% ia akan menyebabkan kematian. 
Manakala statistik sejarah manusia daripada kejadian Nabi Adam menunjukkan bahawa setiap manusia yang hidup, ada kebarangkalian 100% yang kita akan mati. 

Maka apakah yang telah anda persiapkan untuk pertemuan anda dengan Allah? 

Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda: 
اِغْتَنِمْ خَمْسًا قَبْلَ خَمْسٍ : شَبَابَكَ قَبْلَ هَرَمِكَ وَ صِحَّتَكَ قَبْلَ سَقَمِكَ وَ غِنَاكَ قَبْلَ فَقْرِكَ وَ فَرَاغَكَ قَبْلَ شَغْلِكَ وَ حَيَاتَكَ قَبْلَ مَوْتِكَ
“Manfaatkanlah lima perkara sebelum lima perkara
1. Waktu mudamu sebelum datang waktu tuamu,
2. Waktu sehatmu sebelum datang waktu sakitmu,
3. Masa kayamu sebelum datang masa kefakiranmu,
4. Masa luangmu sebelum datang masa sibukmu,
5. Hidupmu sebelum datang matimu.”
(HR. Al Hakim dalam Al Mustadroknys, yang mengatakan bahwa hadits ini shahih sesuai syarat Bukhari Muslim namun keduanya tidak mengeluarkan nya) 

6. Teruskan berdoa agar umat kita kesemuanya dikurniakan al-‘afiyah (kesihatan) di dunia dan akhirat

فَأَتَى النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ‏:‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، أَيُّ الدُّعَاءِ أَفْضَلُ‏؟‏ قَالَ‏:‏ سَلِ اللَّهَ الْعَفْوَ وَالْعَافِيَةَ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ، ثُمَّ أَتَاهُ الْغَدَ فَقَالَ‏:‏ يَا نَبِيَّ اللهِ، أَيُّ الدُّعَاءِ أَفْضَلُ‏؟‏ قَالَ‏:‏ سَلِ اللَّهَ الْعَفْوَ وَالْعَافِيَةَ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ، فَإِذَا أُعْطِيتَ الْعَافِيَةَ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ فَقَدْ أَفْلَحْتَ
Seorang lelaki telah datang kepada Rasulullah ﷺ dan bertanya, “Wahai Rasulullah ﷺ, apakah doa yang paling afdhal?”
Baginda bersabda, “Mohonlah Allah untuk Al-Afw (pengampunan) dan Al-‘Afiyah (kesihatan dan kesalamatan) di dunia dan akhirat”
Baginda bersambung, “Apabila anda dikurniakan keselamatan di dunia dan akhirat, maka anda pasti telah berjaya” (Diriwayatkan oleh Al-Bukhari dalam Adab Al-Mufrad, dinilai sahih oleh Al-Albani)

Maka jangalah lupa untuk doakan al-afiyah untuk semua umat kita – ahli keluarga kita, sahabat-sahabat kita, serta mereka yang telah dijangkiti, sama ada kita kenal secara peribadi atau tidak. Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda, 

دَعْوَةُ الْمَرْءِ الْمُسْلِمِ لأَخِيهِ بِظَهْرِ الْغَيْبِ مُسْتَجَابَةٌ، عِنْدَ رَأْسِهِ مَلَكٌ مُوَكَّلٌ كُلَّمَا دَعَا لأَخِيهِ بِخَيْرٍ، قَالَ الْمَلَكُ الْمُوَكَّلُ بِهِ: آمِينَ وَلَكَ بِمِثْلٍ

“Doa seseorang muslim untuk saudaranya secara berjauhan (tanpa pengetahuannya) adalah mustajab. 
Di kepalanya (yang berdoa) terdapat malaikat yang diwakilkan kepadanya, setiap kali dia berdoa kepada saudaranya dengan kebaikan maka malaikat yang diwakilkan itu akan berkata: 
'Amin dan bagi engkau seperti itu juga (sama seperti apa yang didoakan itu)'”. 
(HR Muslim)


Amalkan doa ini pada setiap pagi dan petang:
Abdullah ibnu Umar meriwayatkan bahawasanya Rasulullah ﷺ tidak pernah gagal membaca doa ini pada setiap pagi dan setiap petang: 
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْعَفْوَ وَالْعَافِيَةَ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالآخِرَةِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْعَفْوَ وَالْعَافِيَةَ فِي دِينِي وَدُنْيَاىَ وَأَهْلِي وَمَالِي اللَّهُمَّ اسْتُرْ عَوْرَاتِي وَآمِنْ رَوْعَاتِي وَاحْفَظْنِي مِنْ بَيْنِ يَدَىَّ وَمِنْ خَلْفِي وَعَنْ يَمِينِي وَعَنْ شِمَالِي وَمِنْ فَوْقِي وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أُغْتَالَ مِنْ تَحْتِي
“Ya Allah, aku memohon kepadamu untuk dikurniakan keampunan dan keselamatan di dunia dan akhirat;
Ya Allah, aku memohon kepadamu untuk keampunan dan keselamatan dalam agamaku, duniaku, keluargaku, dan hartaku, 
Ya Allah, tutupilah aibku, selamatkanlah diriku daripada ketakutan, dan peliharalah aku daripada apa yang ada di hadapanku, di belakangku, daripada kananku dan kiriku, dan daripada atasku, dan aku memohon perlindungan-Mu daripada ditumpaskan daripada sesuatu dibawahku” 
(HR Ibnu Majah)

7. Ujian dajjal lagi dahsyat 

Reaksi kita pada situasi ini telah mendedahkan sikap bagaimanakah umat kita berhadapan dengan musibah. Maka perlu diingatkan di sini bahawasanya musibah yang paling dahsyat – lebih dahsyat daripada situasi kita sekarang – adalah fitnah/musibah Dajjal, yang setakat ini belum lagi berlaku. Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda, 

مَا بَعَثَ اللَّهُ مِنْ نَبِيٍّ إِلاَّ أَنْذَرَ أُمَّتَهُ، أَنْذَرَهُ نُوحٌ وَالنَّبِيُّونَ مِنْ بَعْدِهِ،
“Allah tidak mengutus seorang nabi pun kecuali nabi tersebut telah memberi amaran kepada umatnya tentang (Dajjal); Nabi Nuh pun telah memberi amaran kepada umatnya, dan semua para Nabi selepasnya” (HR Al-Bukhari)


بَادِرُوا بِالأَعْمَالِ سَبْعًا هَلْ تَنْظُرُونَ إِلاَّ فَقْرًا مُنْسِيًا أَوْ غِنًى مُطْغِيًا أَوْ مَرَضًا مُفْسِدًا أَوْ هَرَمًا مُفَنِّدًا أَوْ مَوْتًا مُجْهِزًا أَوِ الدَّجَّالَ فَشَرُّ غَائِبٍ يُنْتَظَرُ أَوِ السَّاعَةَ فَالسَّاعَةُ أَدْهَى وَأَمَرُّ
"Bersegeralah kalian semua untuk beramal soleh sebelum datangnya tujuh perkara:
Apakah engkau sekalian menantikan – enggan melakukan dulu, melainkan setelah tibanya kefakiran yang melalaikan? 
Atau tibanya kekayaan yang menyebabkan kecurangan? 
Atau tibanya kesakitan yang merosakkan? 
Atau tibanya usia tua yang menyebabkan ucapan-ucapan yang tidak keharuan lagi? 
Atau tibanya kematian yang mempercepatkan – lenyapnya segala hal? 
Atau tibanya Dajjal - maka ia adalah seburuk-buruk makhluk ghaib yang ditunggu? 
Atau tibanya hari kiamat? Maka hari kiamat itu adalah lebih besar bencananya serta lebih pahit penanggungannya"
(HR At-Tirmidhi yang menilai Hadith ini hasan)

Maka introspeksilah diri kita agar kita kukuhkan iman dan amal soleh kita selagi mana kita dikurniakan kekuatan oleh Allah.


8. Bersikap optimis dan kukuhkan tawakkal kepada Allah 

Jangalah berputus asa dengan Rahmat Allah. Sebaliknya, hadirkan sangka baik (husnu dzon) terhadap Allah dan kuatkanlah iman kita dengan-Nya – Dialah Maha Penyayang, Maha Pengasih, Maha Berkuasa – jika dia Izinkan, Penyakit COVID-19 ini boleh dihapuskan sekelip mata sahaja. Tetapi adanya hikmah di sebalik takdir-Nya ke atas kita semua wabak ini masih ada. Maka ambillah ibrah daripada kesemua kejadian yang berlaku, sama ada pada diri kita atau umat kita. 

Firman Allah:

وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
“Dan boleh jadi, kamu membenci sesuatu, sedangkan ianya baik untukmu,
Dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, sedangkan ianya buruk untukmu,
Dan Allah Maha Mengetahui, sedangkan kalian tidak tahu” (Surah Al-Baqarah, 216)

Insha Allah saya yakin, kalau kita rakyat Malaysia semuanya mengambil langkah bertanggungjawab untuk menyokong usaha pemerintah kita dalam menangani wabak ini, dalam masa terdekat beberapa minggu ini ianya mampu dikawal, dikurangkan, malah mungkin mampu dicegah sama sekali. Ternyata, majoriti besar yang dijangkit mampu untuk sembuh dengan izin Allah – yang penting kita tetap disiplin dan sabar dalam situasi ini.

وَلَا تَيْأَسُوا مِن رَّوْحِ اللَّهِ إِنَّهُ لَا يَيْأَسُ مِن رَّوْحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ

“.. dan janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah! 
Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, melainkan kaum yang kafir". (Surah Yusuf, 87)



Dahulu ketika bermulanya situasi Coronavirus ini, saya akui, saya mengambil langkah yang lebih pasif, sikap "wait and see" dan tidak "ambik port" dalam sebarang perbincangan mengenainya. Tetapi Memandangkan situasi ini sudah sampai Peringkat ini saya rasa lebih wajar untuk membuat perkongsian sebagai peringatan yang penting untuk diri saya, dan tanggungjawab saya sebagai mukmin untuk mencintai untuk anda apa yang saya cinta bagi diri saya sendiri, demi kebaikan kita bersama di dunia dan akhirat. 

Jika ada sebarang kesalahan atau kekurangan dalam perkongsian saya ini, saya mohon maaf atas kejahilan diri saya dan mohon agar di kongsikan nasihat serta maklumbalas bagi penambahbaikan diri saya dan sejurusnya pembaca yang lain.

اللهم إنا نسألك العفو والعافية في الدنيا والآخرة 


Saudaramu,

- Faisal @ Abu Muawiyah
17 Mac 2020

Optimism, Play and Happiness: Our “Default” Conduct

#frominfanttolittleman  #raisingMuawiyah
#parentingreflections #sunnah

The companion `Abdullah b. al-Harith (radhiAllahu anhu) said:

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ الْحَارِثِ بْنِ جَزْءٍ، قَالَ مَا رَأَيْتُ أَحَدًا أَكْثَرَ تَبَسُّمًا مِنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم
"I have never seen anyone more in the habit of smiling than Allah's Messenger (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ)"
(Narrated by at-Tirmidhi who graded it hasan)

Coming into parenting with raising our Muawiyah, I made a conscious decision to make “positive and happy” our default interaction approach. Aside from the obvious benefits of a cheerful environment, we also wanted to make it another form of indirect disciplining: when he does something we are unhappy with, we would just show our unhappiness and not smile, to subconsciously create an atmosphere of unfamiliarity and outside of their comfort zone. When children observe their usually-happy parents suddenly become upset with them, let them learn to put in the effort to restore the positive status quo – what is familiar and “comfortable”. Contrast that to a parent who’s always yelling and shouting, when the child does something wrong – you can scold them into submission, but this will be leading out of fear, not out of seeking affection.

And we adopt this approach from our understanding of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, especially in his constant cheerfulness dealing with little ones.  We could see this in the various authentic narrations on how he treated his grandchildren (Hasan/Husain), his daughter Fatimah, and even other children in public.

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ كُنْتُ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي سُوقٍ مِنْ أَسْوَاقِ الْمَدِينَةِ فَانْصَرَفَ فَانْصَرَفْتُ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَيْنَ لُكَعُ ـ ثَلاَثًا ـ ادْعُ الْحَسَنَ بْنَ عَلِيٍّ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقَامَ الْحَسَنُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ يَمْشِي وَفِي عُنُقِهِ السِّخَابُ، فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم بِيَدِهِ هَكَذَا، فَقَالَ الْحَسَنُ بِيَدِهِ، هَكَذَا فَالْتَزَمَهُ
Abu Hurairah narrated: I was with Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) in one of the Markets of Medina. He left (the market) and so did I. Then he asked thrice, "Where is the little one?"
Then he said, "Call Al-Hasan bin `Ali."
So Al-Hasan bin `Ali got up and started walking with a necklace (of beads) around his neck.
The Prophet (ﷺ) stretched his hand out like this, and Al-Hasan did the same. 

The Prophet (ﷺ) embraced him and then said,

فَقَالَ ‏"‏ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أُحِبُّهُ، فَأَحِبَّهُ، وَأَحِبَّ مَنْ يُحِبُّهُ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو هُرَيْرَةَ فَمَا كَانَ أَحَدٌ أَحَبَّ إِلَىَّ مِنَ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ عَلِيٍّ بَعْدَ مَا قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم مَا قَالَ
"Oh Allah! l love him, so please love him and love those who love him."
Since Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said that, nothing has been more beloved to me (Abu Hurairah) than Al-Hasan.
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

He would jokingly blow out water at a child's face:

عَنْ مَحْمُودِ بْنِ الرَّبِيعِ، قَالَ عَقَلْتُ مِنَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مَجَّةً مَجَّهَا فِي وَجْهِي وَأَنَا ابْنُ خَمْسِ سِنِينَ مِنْ دَلْوٍ
Narrated Mahmud bin Rabi`a: When I was a boy of five years of age, I remember, the Prophet (ﷺ) took water from a bucket (used for getting water out of a well) with his mouth and blew it towards my face.
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

Learning from some effective Western methods, one of the more practical and interesting parenting strategies is integrating fun into getting them to perform mundane tasks - such as taking a bath. I remember an article suggesting that we turn it into a "race" to see who reaches the bathroom first. We have adopted this method and improvised to get him excited to go to the toilet: by bobbing up and down singing fun stuff like "Muawiyah bath tub Muawiyah bath tub" - he then follows our actions and eventually to the toilet. It's silly, fun, downright hilarious at times, but most of all: it is surprisingly effective!

We try to integrate this method into other mundane tasks and instructions, and we found it to work really well. Simple things like when we want him to getting ready to go out, i.e. to the Masjid – “Muawiyah, show abah how fast you can go!”, “Muawiyah, jom play with the kittens at masjid!”

When we brush his teeth, my wife devised a genius method to convince him by putting the phone camera on selfie mode while brushing, so he can see his teeth, and have a good laugh

At least for the formative early years of infancy, as much as we try to establish the principles and values, we try our very best to inculcate fun and joy in our child. We want him to feel that his parents are a "go to" source of happiness and positive feels.

Reflecting upon the upbringing of myself and others around me, what tends to happen quite often in this modern age, is when the children develop dependencies OUTSIDE of the home environment as references of "fun" and "joy", especially as they grow older. It's the kind of situation that subconsciously develops itself when mom and dad are so busy, only seemingly able to make time about us to become strict about our school work and the "dos and donts". As time goes by, the child starts finding references outside of the home to bring them joy, whether in the form of people or objects - friends, cartoons, games, food, activities, movies.

Simply put: Children need attention, respect, fun and love. If the parents aren't going to give it to them, they will look elsewhere. And the danger for us parents – especially as children grow older and well into their teenage years - in this undying thirst and pursuit of happiness, "right" or "wrong" can sometimes mean very little to the child who seeks self-validation.

And Allah Knows best. Allahumma barik 

“Cat Lover Boi”: towards EQ development in children

Among one of the conscious decisions we made as a parent was to allow and encourage our baby Muawiyah to grow up playing with pets: and our pets of choice was cats. 

The reasons I deliberately chose this are twofold: personal reason and parenting reasons. 

Personal: Not gonna lie, I have always loved cats. But at the same time, my childhood was kind of deprived of it because we grew up living an apartment most of my childhood and regulations prohibiting to keep cats. But I really enjoyed playing with cats at my cousins’ place when we would visit them growing up, and when my wife and I finally had the opportunity to rent landed property in Miri, we finally had the chance in 2015 when a cute little stray kitten suddenly arrived at our doorstep. We’ve been keeping a few cats since then and our lives have been so much more fun with them around. 

Initially we had a lot of concerns on hygiene and health of cats’ interaction with babies, and therefore just before baby Muawiyah was born, our first course of action was to move our kittens to live outside of the house (with a heavy heart 😥). 

After doing some research, we started gradually allowing more interaction, starting with short and quick play times when he was about 8 months old and strict handwashing rules post-playtime. By the time he was 1 year old, he and our 2-year old cat Talhah had become best friends. Well, sort of. 

Parenting goals: In extracting practical life lessons from the sirah of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, the intent behind enabling opportunities to take care of pets is to develop his EQ (emotional quotient) – in the aspects of Mercy and Kindness, as well as developing restraint. 

The Prophet ﷺ said,  
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏ مَا بَعَثَ اللَّهُ نَبِيًّا إِلاَّ رَعَى الْغَنَمَ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقَالَ أَصْحَابُهُ وَأَنْتَ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ نَعَمْ كُنْتُ أَرْعَاهَا عَلَى قَرَارِيطَ لأَهْلِ مَكَّةَ ‏"‏‏.
"Allah did not send any prophet, except that they had become shepherds of sheep." His companions asked him, "Did you do the same?" 
The Prophet (ﷺ) replied, "Yes, I used to shepherd the sheep of the people of Mecca for some Qirats (as payment)" 
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

Why shepherd of sheep? Every single prophet: What is the significance?

I remember attending a course and listening to several lectures regarding this specific topics, and there were many wisdoms behind why Allah chose this specific career choice for his Prophets, and how this contributed into shaping and developing his competency and personality into the role that Allah had destined for them: and in the context of Prophet Muhammad: a leader, teacher, mentor, mufti, parent, and friend.

There were at least 15 major lessons – some specific to sheep instead of shepherding other animals – but in the context of today’s modern city life, several of those points of benefits can also be obtained by simply training your children with taking care of pets (and in our context, cats). But here we wanted to focus on two:

1. To Develop a Sense of Mercy and Responsibility. 

Sheep are actually very fragile and soft creatures. They aren’t argumentative, comparatively may not be as intelligent as other animals such as camels or horses, and because of their shorter stature being unable to see long distances, they are not very effective in defending themselves from harm. Also, the job of the shepherd – taking the “amanah” (trust) of caring for sheep which do not belong to them – indirectly instills a sense of responsibility to get the job done effectively: if a sheep dies on the shepherd’s watch, the shepherd can’t simply blame the sheep’s stubbornness or shortage of intelligence. 

These characteristics indirectly “shape” the personality of the shepherd to be caring and loving towards these furry fellas, in contrast to camel herders who tend to be rougher in nature to keep up with the more typically arrogant personality of the camel. 

Cats also harbor similar characteristics in this regard. Despite being domesticated with human civilizations for centuries, cats also require a lot of tender love and care, especially being prone to diseases, imminent harm and high mortality rates in urban environments. So this is where we found a potential opportunity (though perhaps to a lesser extent) to inculcate these characteristics.

Having “Love” isn’t just an absolute quotient, i.e. “either you have it or don’t have it”. If one thinks of EQ like IQ (intelligence quotient) – something that can be developed – then in the same way, you can definitely develop mercy. 

Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:
الرَّاحِمُونَ يَرْحَمُهُمُ الرَّحْمَنُ ارْحَمُوا أَهْلَ الأَرْضِ يَرْحَمْكُمْ مَنْ فِي السَّمَاءِ

"Those who are Merciful and Compassionate: Ar-Rahman (The Most Compassionate One) will have mercy on them. 
Show mercy to the inhabitants of the earth, He Who is in the heaven will show mercy to you."
(Narrated by Abu Daud, graded Sahih by Al-Albani)

One of the big parenting concerns about raising children in this gadget age of 21st century, is how can we actively play a role to develop their EQ to be effective communicators, leaders, or functional contributing members of society when they grow up. At the core of every good, empathetic, and kind heart is sincerity, and the driver being is love/mercy.

When we teach our children to take care of pets, we can teach him/her to learn that these creatures can be helpless without us, and therefore instill a sense of responsibility, a benefit which you do not get with gadgets and video games. And look, I'm not picking on gamers or gadget heads here, in fact I speak from my own personal experience: I myself was an avid video gamer growing up. 
Now, unlike video games – where you can recklessly trial and error or even inflict virtual harm without any real consequences – in the case of handling living creatures, if you fail to take care of them or you treat them badly and reach "Game Over", there will be tangible harmful consequences than a mere title screen and "restart at latest checkpoint". 
But if you do well, and they live happily, you can take pride knowing that you played a part towards improving the life of other creatures of Allah. How about that 😁. 

Perhaps, as Muawiyah grows older and if we still have the opportunity to have cats around the house, we may start to increase our child’s responsibilities of feeding, disposing their litter, and maybe even giving them a shower every once in a while. 

2. Developing Restraint and Gentleness

As children (especially boys) grow up, they begin discovering their physical abilities, and so the lessons we wanted to teach him was to restrain himself: that just because you can physically overcome, defeat and bully them, doesn’t mean you “have to” do it. It is better to be kind and friendly towards them and be their “big bro companion”. 

And we can see that as Muawiyah grew up playing with our cat Talhah and gradually developed his physical strengths and abilities, he started becoming more dominant towards the cat and sometimes found thrill in bullying him. Alhamdulillah Talhah doesn’t normally retaliate, but we did feel sorry for the poor fella as he gets bullied. But this is where we keep educating Muawiyah to “be gentle” and “be nice” with him, stroking him gently and tickling him softly to keep him happy. 

But as they say, boys will be boys – and Muawiyah continued bullying his best friend. So we keep telling the same thing to Muawiyah, again and again. And again. 

And this was a reminder to us too, that just as we wish to instill gentleness in him, we ourselves too need to be gentle and patient in educating him (as long as there is no imminent harm that can result from his behavior), bearing in mind at all times that parenting is all about "the long game", not quick gains. 

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said,

إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ وَيُعْطِي عَلَيْهِ مَا لاَ يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ
"Allah is gentle, He Loves gentleness, 
and Gives for gentleness what he does not give for harshness." 
(Narrated by Ibnu Majah and Abu Daud, graded Sahih by Al-Albani) 

مَنْ أُعْطِيَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الرِّفْقِ فَقَدْ أُعْطِيَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ وَمَنْ حُرِمَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الرِّفْقِ فَقَدْ حُرِمَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ
"Whoever was given his share of gentleness, then he has been given a share of good. And whoever has been prevented from his share of gentleness, then he has been prevented from his share of good."
(Narrated by At-Tirmidhi) 

In another Hadith, the Prophet ﷺ said to his wife A'isyah, 

يَا عَائِشَةُ ارْفُقِي فَإِنَّ الرِّفْقَ لَمْ يَكُنْ فِي شَىْءٍ قَطُّ إِلاَّ زَانَهُ وَلاَ نُزِعَ مِنْ شَىْءٍ قَطُّ إِلاَّ شَانَهُ
"O Aisha.. Be gentle!
For if gentleness is found in anything, it beautifies it, 
and when it is removed from anything it damages it."
(Narrated by Abu Daud, graded Sahih by Al-Albani)

Coming back to the point of communication, our words to a 1-year old boy may not seem to have much of an effect. 
At first. As the months passed by, Muawiyah’s love for playing with cats started to be further ingrained into his personality, as he gets excited seeing any random cat at any masjid, restaurant, or public place we encounter (much to the discomfort of the mother). What we discovered was that interestingly, he is always gentle and careful in dealing with cats he is not familiar with, and he only shows his tough love to the cats that he knows at home.

Turns out, those repeated messages of gentleness did indeed get to him. He only bullies Talhah because he knows Talhah is his “friend” – in the same way that he bullies me and his mom – for fun. That was really his acknowledgement of being in his safe zone, that he can be comfortable enough to show his more active play side. 

3. No small matter 

It is worth noting that Islam places some serious emphasis towards the kind treatment of other creations of Allah, including animals. 

In fact, to put it simply, treatment of animals can mean the difference between Heaven and Hell. Consider the following two authentic Hadith: 

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
بَيْنَمَا رَجُلٌ يَمْشِي بِطَرِيقٍ اشْتَدَّ عَلَيْهِ الْعَطَشُ، فَوَجَدَ بِئْرًا فَنَزَلَ فِيهَا فَشَرِبَ ثُمَّ خَرَجَ، فَإِذَا كَلْبٌ يَلْهَثُ يَأْكُلُ الثَّرَى مِنَ الْعَطَشِ فَقَالَ الرَّجُلُ لَقَدْ بَلَغَ هَذَا الْكَلْبَ مِنَ الْعَطَشِ مِثْلُ الَّذِي كَانَ بَلَغَ بِي، فَنَزَلَ الْبِئْرَ فَمَلأَ خُفَّهُ، ثُمَّ أَمْسَكَهُ بِفِيهِ، فَسَقَى الْكَلْبَ، فَشَكَرَ اللَّهُ لَهُ فَغَفَرَ لَهُ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَإِنَّ لَنَا فِي الْبَهَائِمِ أَجْرًا‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ فِي كُلِّ ذَاتِ كَبِدٍ رَطْبَةٍ أَجْرٌ
 "While a man was walking on a road. he became very thirsty. Then he came across a well, got down into it, drank (of its water) and then came out. Meanwhile he saw a dog panting and licking mud because of excessive thirst. The man said to himself "This dog is suffering from the same state of thirst as I did." So he went down the well (again) and filled his shoe (with water) and held it in his mouth and watered the dog. Allah thanked him for that deed and forgave him." The people asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Is there a reward for us in serving the animals?" He said, "(Yes) There is a reward for serving any animate (living being) ."
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim) 

In another narration also narrated by Imam Al-Bukhari and Muslim, a prostitute from Bani Israel also did the same - and Allah appreciated her efforts so much that she was forgiven for that deed. Imagine here, that even a person of *that* profession, can be forgiven out of mercy and kindness to a dog. 

And in another narration, he stated the opposite example. He ﷺ said:

دَخَلَتِ امْرَأَةٌ النَّارَ مِنْ جَرَّاءِ هِرَّةٍ لَهَا - أَوْ هِرٍّ - رَبَطَتْهَا فَلاَ هِيَ أَطْعَمَتْهَا وَلاَ هِيَ أَرْسَلَتْهَا تُرَمِّمُ مِنْ خَشَاشِ الأَرْضِ حَتَّى مَاتَتْ هَزْلاً
"A woman was thrown into Hell-Fire because of a cat whom she had tied (oppressively in captivity), and thus it could not eat, and she did not let it free so that it could devour the vermin of the earth, until (the cat) died."
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim) 

And so if we have a means to train and nurture these traits in the household, why not? 
Plus, I get to satisfy the cat lover boi in me too, so why not? 

Closing thoughts.. 

It’s too early to tell the results so far, but his personality has certainly developed a strong affinity and liking towards cats. At 2 years old, restraint isn’t an easy thing to teach, and so we are still on the learning curve towards this path. But we enjoy seeing him play with these little guys and we look forward to seeing how this will pan out in years to come, insha Allah.. 

May Allah grant continue to nurture mercy, gentleness, and maturity in Muawiyah, our youth and to the rest of the ummah.