One of the most common productivity tips that modern authors write about is "Time blocking". The idea behind it is to time-block the priority tasks in your life, and GUARD IT WITH YOUR DEAR LIFE: Commit to fulfilling it in the same way that you would if you have an important appointment with a VIP, or you would to catch a non-refundable overseas flight!
In the book, "The ONE Thing", author Gary Keller writes:
"Most people think there's never enough time to be successful, but there is when you block it. Time blocking is a very results-oriented way of viewing and using time. It is a way of making sure that what has to be done GETS done.
Alexander Graham Bell said, “Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus”.
Time blocking harnesses your energy and centers it on your most important work. It is productivity's greatest power tool" (End Quote)
Awesome! Now, use this technique for the people most important to us: spending time with our FAMILY! 😍
Especially under this working-from-home climate, when it becomes increasingly difficult to clearly distinguish the boundaries between work and everyday life. Now, more than ever, it’s important to make dedicated time-blocking to spend quality time with our loved ones, so we grow together and enjoy each other’s company, instead of dreading the constant struggle of finding “balance” and having to fight the guilty feelings of pushing them aside when we are at our work desk.
This is one of the best, most assuring techniques I learnt from the book "Positive Discipline": Ten minutes of special time, especially with young children. Author Jane Nelson writes:
"Between the ages of two and six, children need at least ten minutes a day of special time that they can count on. Even more time is better, but you'll be surprised how magical it can be, even if ten minutes is all you can manage in your busy schedule." (End Quote)
And WAllahi, she is right! Just by taking a few minutes of focused, undivided time (WITHOUT being DISTRACTED by your mobile phone) and being truly present with your child, it has an amazing uplifting effect. And what I learnt in implementing this with my 3-year old son was that, sometimes it doesn't even take 10 minutes; just five minutes of storytelling or play can immediately elevate his mood just enough to boost his morale and encourage him to play by himself.
I also loved the author's explanations behind the reasons that behind why special time is so encouraging:
1. To give them a sense of belonging and significance when they can count on special time, to feel important to you.
2. A reminder to you why you had children in the first place: to enjoy them!
3. Practically speaking, it is easier for them to accept how busy you are, when you say something like, "Sayang, Abah want to play with you too! But Abah's got work now, but i'm really looking forward to play with you after Abah is finished, k!"
I also learnt that, "later" is a very vague and ambiguous term which children have difficulty to grasp. Even if you were to tell them the special time at "6 o'clock", toddlers may find it difficult to comprehend without a clear perception of time. So what I do is, I map out the schedule:
"Okay sayang, now Abah has got work, but after this during lunch time, abah have lunch with Muawiyah, then Muawiyah solat Zuhur together with Abah, then Abah got some work, then we solat Asar together, then abah got *a bit more* work, then Abah play with Muawiyah, OK?"
His response? 99% of the time, he says, "OKAY!" with a satisfied genuine smile on his face. 😁
When we treat our children with a feeling of respect and specialness, they reciprocate that.
In fact, quite hilariously, our 3-year old Little Man has become a bit of a project planner himself. Now, if he wants to procrastinate things which he dislikes, such as taking a bath or brushing his teeth, he will map out his own sequence of events to procrastinate and prolong the inevitable: “Muawiyah nak play toys, and then nak makan, and then Abah Mandi, and then ibu mandi, and then Muawiyah mandi!” 😂
The more special time you invest in them, the more they will grow to respect our priority tasks, and hence more negotiation leverage you will have in the long run, and the more ownership you will have of others’ responsibilities to help each other.
Though the book emphasizes special time with children, this is also applicable to other family members too: especially the wifey/hubby. Find ways to make Special Time for each other, even if it is a bit unconventional (e.g. going for a slow drive in circles just to have a conversation)!
May Allah make our families a coolness of our eyes, and may He make us a coolness of the eyes to our families too!
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders to the people of taqwa (righteousness and consciousness in Allah” (Al-Furqan 25:74)
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