Never Split the Difference: Unexpected Applications in Parenting Techniques

Surprisingly, my favorite non-Islamic book in 2020 was about a topic which I thought I had absolutely zero interest in: Negotiation. “Never split the difference” was written by ex-FBI Chris Voss, detailing out tactics in negotiation, derives from his 20+ years experience in hostage negotiation in dealing with hostage-takers and terrorists, and his experience as a coach in negotiation since his retirement.   

I enjoy the book for many reasons, but one of them is how practical and effective the techniques are in day-to-day application. One of the most surprising application of these techniques is an area I never expected: Parenting. 

But it makes sense, though, when you think about the goals of negotiation: How do we influence other people to do things, without forcing, bribing or threatening them, but rather by encouraging genuine cooperation. And not only that, but ideally, when they DO comply, how can we provide a sense of empowerment that they are making the right choice without feeling like they are cheated or “suckered” in to making a choice they don’t want? 

Wait a minute. This is exactly what we want to achieve in tarbiyah, as parents! 

What I really like is how this book dispelled my pre-conceived negative perception about Negotiation. I always thought of negotiation as being about deception, manipulation and forcing others. But the author highlights, this isn’t effective negotiation at all. In fact, the core of negotiation is about something much more human: emotional intelligence! 

Which is amazing because essentially, these are practical tips of how we can be more merciful and compassionate to our children: and get things done effectively in the process! The Prophet ﷺ said, "He is not one of us: the one who does not have mercy towards our young ones, and does not respect our elders" (Abu Daud, At-Tirmidzi)

Here is a summary of six negotiating techniques which I apply in my day-to-day conduct with our 3-years old son, Muawiyah – especially in getting him to do things he doesn’t like:

1. Keep it positive: in your facial appearance and your tone of your voice

Quote: “Put a smile on your face. When people are in a positive frame of mind, they think more quickly, and are more likely to collaborate and problem-solve (instead of fight and resist). Positivity creates mental agility in both you and your counterpart”. In addition to our facial expressions, the author also emphasizes that in our communication, we should always put the “positive/playful voice” as the default voice of an easy-going, good-natured person to be light and encouraging.

Now, let’s put these writings into context. This is advice derived from the author’s FBI experience in hostage negotiation with terrorists! Criminals, crooks! 

So, how much more important would this be for children we love? 

Tone of voice plays such a huge impact in any negotiation; in the same way positivity creates encouragement, angry vibes create resistance and defensiveness. It can get stressful when they throw tantrums at us in times we want them to do something (though certainly not as stressful as negotiating armed terrorists!), but as long as we hold the fort and keep it optimistic, this sets the tone for a positive collaboration.

2. “How am I supposed to do that?” The Art of saying no without saying “no”.

Coming from a Malaysian (or is it generally, Asian?) culture of habitually saying “No”, “don’t” and “jangan” all the time, I was convinced there was a better way. I have always believed that in parenting, saying “No” has a tendency of having an antagonizing effect, which can often invite resistance and rebellion. 

Yet on the other hand, it is the experience of every single parent to confront lots of unreasonable or ridiculous requests every day. So, how do you turn them down? 

In the friendliest, most innocent manner, you ask a variation of “How am I supposed to do that?” 

In practice, this would sound something like “Oh that’s a nice toy! But it’s so expensive… How is Abah going to find money to buy that?” or “I want to have ice cream too! But if I eat too much, it’s going to spoil Abah’s teeth and Muawiyah’s teeth. I don’t want to spoil my teeth, then Abah will look ugly like a monster! What do you think we should do?”

This kind of phrase brings many great benefits. It instills a sense of respect to the child to comprehend “adult matters”, and most importantly that we hear them and aren’t denying them of their feelings or desires. An open-ended “how” invites cooperation, ideas, and conversation. And isn’t this what family is about? Instead of being a party pooper that turns them down, this question gets us to be collective problem solvers.

.. And every once in a while, you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the creative solutions and justifications our little ones come up with!

3. Active Listening: Mirroring, summarizing what they are saying.

Mirroring is to repeat the last three words said by the person. According to the author, this conversation technique is so amazingly effective – yet so simple in practice – that people think it is some sort of “Jedi mind trick” (a book that teaches you to be a Jedi. Need I say more?). 

It works so well because it acknowledges that the speaker is being heard, and that you are an active listener who empathizes, thereby increasing your chances of genuine cooperation. This is exactly the kind of building blocks relationship that we want to establish like the one Prophet Yusuf had with his father Ya’qub (alayhimassalam)! 

The author also teaches the technique of summarizing what they say by repeating, “it sounds to me that…”. For children, this will sound something like, "do you mean, (summarize their sentence)?"

When you combine these two techniques, it creates an encouraging atmosphere of trial and error, which I find especially important in speech development during a toddler’s age. Muawiyah loves expressing stories and telling, and summarizing helps him generate new vocabulary and correct his use of words. 

4. Letting THEM say “No” as much as possible: Create an illusion of “Control”

This is an interesting and shockingly cool technique: Your goal in negotiations is to allow the other party to say “no” as much as possible, so that EVENTUALLY they say YES when it really matters. 

Getting them to say “no” almost sounds counter-intuitive; but it makes sense in the context of things. Many times people feel suckered into saying “yes” when they don’t actually mean it (the author calls this “counterfeit yesses”), and one of the worst techniques used by less competent negotiators is to push customers to a wall and “force” to say “yes” (which is what we tend to do as parents!) 

On the other hand, the ability of saying “no” gives you the empowering feeling that you are in control, so when you finally say “yes”, you know you aren’t suckered into the decision. When the other party has said their “nos”, they subconsciously develop the idea that you are a fair person, so it’s only fair to reciprocate the favor. In the long run, this generates genuine cooperation and collaboration!

Toddlers love saying “no” and opposing us. And as parents this tends to annoy us or get on our nerves. But instead, embrace it, play the long game and Let them have it! So that when the time comes for truly important things that do matter, it increases the chances of “yes” later on. 

In fact, the author suggests us to purposely frame question that will FORCE a “no”, somehow. Likewise, reframe this into a mindset of a child, especially a toddler, who always wants to have things their way. Get them to make as many “no” choices as possible. In practice, for parents, this can include incredibly silly questions like “Muawiyah do you like avocado?”, “Can your remote control car fly like a helicopter?”, “Muawiyah, can Abah ride your bicycle?”

THEN… when it comes time to uncomfortable instructions like “let’s go take you bath”, the resistance lowers down. 

5. Slow down + Be comfortable with silence and pauses.

During negotiations, when things start to get a bit awkward, what tends to happen is we tend to fill in the uncomfortable silence with empty chatter, and even appease to the other party if we feel worried that we are being “unreasonable” (hence fail in our negotiation). 

The best thing to do is to slow things down (to subconsciously indicate you are in control) and let the pauses take place. Sometimes, the receiving end requires some time to process the information. Keeping silent allows them to think, while at the same time sending a signal that you are serious about your point of view. 

This is true for children – especially toddlers!

Our mistake is that sometimes we tend to fill in the silences by repeating, nagging and pounding the message ("i told you so many times!" etc), which, instead of emphasizing the strength of our stance, only serves to invite more resistance. Just keep quiet, let them vent, while you, last but not least… 

6. Be firm, but kind: Hold the fort, but be nice.

An effective negotiator knows what he/she wants and sticks to it. Don’t allow your personal emotions, or feelings towards them, cloud the endgame of what you are really trying to achieve. It can be tempting to back down on what we want, especially when things get heated up (i.e. when they throw a tantrum at us), as this can inadvertently teach them the wrong lesson of being an entitled brat: All they need to do to get what they want is to raise their voice! 

We need to hold the fort, while at the same time maintaining our approachability and calm to set the pace. As long as we don’t lose our temper and lash back out to the other party (in this case, our emotional child), this always gives a sense that we are in control and that their outbursts will not change the outcome, at the same time, through our patience, retain a sense of trust by demonstrating we genuinely love them. Besides, just like hostage-takers, sometimes the child just wants to test our limits and patience threshold! 

The author also suggests shifting your voice when things get heated up: but instead of raising your voice, you lower it, and put your “late-night radio DJ voice”. When we put up a calm, soothing tone, in encourages the heated party to relax, and eventually, they will subconsciously realize that it will not be sensible to continue lashing out at such a nice, cool fella. Who, from the perspective of the child, just so happens to be my mum or my dad. Wouldn’t that be nice!

I know this really helped my relationship with my cheeky little man, and I hope it will be useful to you too! Do share your thoughts!

May Allah make our children and family the coolness of our eyes

Entering Multiple online meetings: The "Beauty" of Multi-tasking?

 

Among my recent ongoing struggles at the (virtual #WorkFromHome) workplace is identifying which meetings are important and priority, versus which ones I “need to let go”. 

The virtual workplace has enabled us to easily hop to and from meetings (putting others on hold) at our convenience. But this great digital enabler also opened the door for a chaotic mess of overlapping & redundant meetings. 

My recent work calendar is flooded with so many (many of which claim they are “urgent” – making you sometimes wonder! what does that word even mean anymore?), overlapping to a point where, not only do input multiple ones on hold, but to a point where I had to enter two meetings simultaneously - one meeting on laptop, and the other on the phone.

But I quickly came to the realization that, if I enter two meetings simultaneously, my productivity is so poor that I don't gain anything from either meeting - neither do I actually add value to both meetings! 

This reminds me of an ayah in the Qur'an:

مَّا جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِرَجُلٍ مِّن قَلْبَيْنِ فِى جَوْفِهِ

"Allah has not made for any man two hearts inside his body. " (33:4)

Seriously, though: Is multi-tasking a good thing?

Quoting an online course in Harvard Managementor (HMM) on "Time Management": 

“We are overwhelmed and overloaded with inputs into our lives, and the instinct we have is to constantly move from one to another. And we think that's the most efficient; sometimes we think it's the only way to get stuff done.

Wrong! The human brain is incapable of multitasking. It can do only one thing at a time. When you begin to move, you incur something called switching time, which means that, for you to get from topic A to topic B, there is a period of time in between. And what that results in is a lack of efficiency.

It pays to do one thing at a time in an absorbed way. It's going to mean that you do it more efficiently, and it's also going to mean that, because you are more fully absorbed in it, you're more likely to do it at a high level of quality.” 

(End Quote)

That last paragraph is important. Better get ONE quality meeting than two unproductive ones that “seem” as if you are present, but actually aren’t!

I realized, the better way is to prioritize and respectfully decline upfront – tell them you are unable to join – instead of overcommitting. As tough as it may sound, to say “no” upfront – and to potentially confront a disappointed stakeholder to focus on one quality delivery – is far more productive, respectful and merciful to everyone involved. 

Perhaps, if everyone starts thinking in this wavelength, people may will begin planning their meetings in advance and respect people’s time, instead of the constant barrage of last minute invitations. 

What do you think? Any genuinely super-skilled multi-taskers out there who disagree with the above?

Global Oppression & Inhumane Crimes Against Muslims: Some Reminders, and Guidelines regarding Etiquettes, Mindsets and Attitudes for Believers in Allah and the Last Day

Here are some important reminders from the Qur’an and Sunnah to strengthen our iman in these trying times of fitan and calamity. May Allah grant us the strength of Sabr, and to act in accordance to what Pleases Him in facing these difficult times of division and misinformation.

 

Summary:

1. Yes, we should feel hurt

2. ONE Muslim's life and honor are more sacred and beloved than Makkah, the blessed month of Dzulhijjah AND the Day of Eid

3. Allah loves our fellow brothers and sisters even more than a mother loves her infant..

4. Allah is not Unaware of the acts of these oppressors

5. Those who were killed: Look on the bright side of what their Lord prepared for them for their patience and iman

6. It’s a fact: Disbelievers will continue to spend resources to oppress the believers. But they will fail - guaranteed. Don’t fear their meager means, fear Allah!

7. Do not lose hope, do not despair. Remember: If Allah wills, He can Destroy & Replace every single one of them

8. The Solution is Clear: Turn back to Allah, the Source of all Help and Success

9. Never forget: Eventually, you will die too. Ultimately you are still responsible - and will be questioned - for your actions on the Day of Judgment

10. Do not act based on emotions – Act in accordance to the guidelines that Allah and His Messenger ﷺ have specified.  There is no obedience by committing disobedience!

11. Do not perform deeds which might result in disobedience

12. The Prophet ﷺ was sent as a mercy, not to curse

13. If you can't say something that Pleases Allah, then just shut up

14. Be careful what news you spread in these times of massive misinformation and irrational emotional responses

15. Provide financial support and aid within your capacity: Every atom's weight of good deed counts!

16. Never underestimate the power of du'aa

17. Making du'aa for them benefits you too

18. When will the Help of Allah come?!

19. Do not be sad or lose hope: Allah guarantees victory in for those believers!

20. Remember the End in Mind: Never lose sight of the Big Picture

 

إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَذِكْرَىٰ لِمَنْ كَانَ لَهُ قَلْبٌ أَوْ أَلْقَى السَّمْعَ وَهُوَ شَهِيدٌ

“Verily, therein is indeed a reminder for him who has a heart or gives ear while he is mindful” (Surah Qaf 50:37)

Bismillah...

1. Yes, we should feel hurt

 

عَنِ النُّعْمَانِ بْنِ بَشِيرٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ مَثَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ فِي تَوَادِّهِمْ وَتَرَاحُمِهِمْ وَتَعَاطُفِهِمْ مَثَلُ الْجَسَدِ إِذَا اشْتَكَى مِنْهُ عُضْوٌ تَدَاعَى لَهُ سَائِرُ الْجَسَدِ بِالسَّهَرِ وَالْحُمَّى ‏"

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "The believers in their mutual love, compassion and sympathy are just like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body aches because of sleeplessness and fever". (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

 

2. ONE Muslim's life and honor are more sacred and beloved than Makkah, the blessed month of Dzulhijjah AND the Day of Eid..

قَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ، قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي حَجَّةِ الْوَدَاعِ ‏"‏ أَلاَ أَىُّ شَهْرٍ تَعْلَمُونَهُ أَعْظَمُ حُرْمَةً ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالُوا أَلاَ شَهْرُنَا هَذَا‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَلاَ أَىُّ بَلَدٍ تَعْلَمُونَهُ أَعْظَمُ حُرْمَةً ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالُوا أَلاَ بَلَدُنَا هَذَا‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَلاَ أَىُّ يَوْمٍ تَعْلَمُونَهُ أَعْظَمُ حُرْمَةً ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالُوا أَلاَ يَوْمُنَا هَذَا‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ تَبَارَكَ وَتَعَالَى قَدْ حَرَّمَ دِمَاءَكُمْ وَأَمْوَالَكُمْ وَأَعْرَاضَكُمْ، إِلاَّ بِحَقِّهَا، كَحُرْمَةِ يَوْمِكُمْ هَذَا، فِي بَلَدِكُمْ هَذَا، فِي شَهْرِكُمْ هَذَا

During his Hajj, the Prophet ﷺ asked his companions, "Which month (of the year) do you think is most sacred?" The people said, "This current month of ours (the month of Dzulhijjah)."

He ﷺ said, "Which town (country) do you think is the most sacred?" They said, "This city of ours (Makkah)."

He said, "Which day do you think is the most sacred?" The people said, "This day of ours (Eid Al-Adha)"

Then he said, "Allah has made your blood, your property and your honor as sacred as this day of yours in this town of yours, in this month of yours” (Al-Bukhari)

 

3. Allah loves our fellow brothers and sisters even more than a mother loves her infant child..

 

Let us never forget, seventeen times a day every day (in fact, 34 times if you count the basmallah), we remind ourselves that Allah is - الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ - “The Most Compassionate, Most Merciful”

 

عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ، أَنَّهُ قَالَ قَدِمَ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بِسَبْىٍ فَإِذَا امْرَأَةٌ مِنَ السَّبْىِ تَبْتَغِي إِذَا وَجَدَتْ صَبِيًّا فِي السَّبْىِ أَخَذَتْهُ فَأَلْصَقَتْهُ بِبَطْنِهَا وَأَرْضَعَتْهُ فَقَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ أَتَرَوْنَ هَذِهِ الْمَرْأَةَ طَارِحَةً وَلَدَهَا فِي النَّارِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْنَا لاَ وَاللَّهِ وَهِيَ تَقْدِرُ عَلَى أَنْ لاَ تَطْرَحَهُ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ لَلَّهُ أَرْحَمُ بِعِبَادِهِ مِنْ هَذِهِ بِوَلَدِهَا ‏"

'Umar b. Khattab reported that there were brought some prisoners to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) amongst whom there was also a woman, who was searching (for someone) and when she found an infant amongst the prisoners, she took hold of it, pressed it against her chest for breastfeeding and suckled her infant. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) asked his companions:

“Do you think this woman would ever afford to throw her child in the Fire?”

We said: “By Allah, as long as it is within her capability, she would never throw the child in Fire!”

Thereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:

الَلَّهُ أَرْحَمُ بِعِبَادِهِ مِنْ هَذِهِ بِوَلَدِهَا ‏

“Allah is more merciful and compassionate to His slaves than this woman is to her infant child” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

 

4. Allah is not Unaware

 

وَلَا تَحْسَبَنَّ اللَّـهَ غَافِلًا عَمَّا يَعْمَلُ الظَّالِمُونَ ۚ إِنَّمَا يُؤَخِّرُهُمْ لِيَوْمٍ تَشْخَصُ فِيهِ الْأَبْصَارُ

“Do not think that Allah is unaware of that which the oppressors and criminals do: verily, He gives them respite up to a Day when the eyes will stare in horror.” (Ibrahim 14:42-43)

 

5. Those who were killed: Look on the bright side of what their Lord prepared for them for their patience and iman

 

وَلَا تَحْسَبَنَّ الَّذِينَ قُتِلُوا فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّـهِ أَمْوَاتًا ۚ بَلْ أَحْيَاءٌ عِنْدَ رَبِّهِمْ يُرْزَقُونَ ﴿١٦٩﴾ فَرِحِينَ بِمَا آتَاهُمُ اللَّـهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ وَيَسْتَبْشِرُونَ بِالَّذِينَ لَمْ يَلْحَقُوا بِهِمْ مِنْ خَلْفِهِمْ أَلَّا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ ﴿١٧٠﴾ يَسْتَبْشِرُونَ بِنِعْمَةٍ مِنَ اللَّـهِ وَفَضْلٍ وَأَنَّ اللَّـهَ لَا يُضِيعُ أَجْرَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ ﴿١٧١﴾ الَّذِينَ اسْتَجَابُوا لِلَّـهِ وَالرَّسُولِ مِنْ بَعْدِ مَا أَصَابَهُمُ الْقَرْحُ ۚ لِلَّذِينَ أَحْسَنُوا مِنْهُمْ وَاتَّقَوْا أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ

“And never think of those who have been killed in the cause of Allah as dead.

Rather, they are alive with their Lord, receiving provision: Rejoicing in what Allah has bestowed upon them of His bounty, and they receive good tidings about those [to be martyred] after them who have not yet joined them - that there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve.

They receive good tidings of favor from Allah and bounty and [of the fact] that Allah does not allow the reward of believers to be lost - Those [believers] who responded to Allah and the Messenger after injury had struck them. For those who did good among them and feared Allah is a great reward” (Surah Ali Imran 3:169-172)

 

6. It’s a fact: Disbelievers will continue to spend resources to oppress the believers. But they will fail - guaranteed. Don’t fear their meager means, fear Allah!

 

Listen to this guarantee from Allah:

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا يُنْفِقُونَ أَمْوَالَهُمْ لِيَصُدُّوا عَنْ سَبِيلِ اللَّـهِ ۚ فَسَيُنْفِقُونَهَا ثُمَّ تَكُونُ عَلَيْهِمْ حَسْرَةً ثُمَّ يُغْلَبُونَ ۗ وَالَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا إِلَىٰ جَهَنَّمَ يُحْشَرُونَ

“Verily, those who disbelieve spend their wealth to hinder (men) from the Path of Allah, and so will they continue to spend it; but in the end it will become an anguish for them. Then they will be defeated. And those who disbelieve will be gathered unto Hell.” (Surah Al-Anfal 8:36)

Yes, they have nuclear weapons, massive resources to control the media, huge international support. The Creator who created all this and willed for this injustice to happen is NOT unaware, and He can snatch it away in an instant.

 

How many times has Allah granted victory to His righteous slaves even though they were severely outnumbered? When the huge army of Jalut (Goliath) swamed and attacked, the army of the believers, headed by King Talut (Saul) and Daud (David) confidently put their trust in their Lord and said:

كَم مِّن فِئَةٍ قَلِيلَةٍ غَلَبَتْ فِئَةٍ كَثِيرَةً بِإِذْنِ اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ مَعَ الصَّـبِرِينَ

“How often has a small group overcome a mighty host by the Will of Allah! And Allah is with As-Sabirin (the patient).” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:249)

 

إِنَّمَا ذَٰلِكُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ يُخَوِّفُ أَوْلِيَاءَهُ فَلَا تَخَافُوهُمْ وَخَافُونِ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ مُؤْمِنِينَ

“It is only Shaitan (Satan) that suggests to you the fear of his supporters and friends, so do not fear them, but fear Me, if you are (true) believers!” (Surah Ali Imran 3:175)

 

7. Do not lose hope, do not despair. Remember: If Allah wills, He can Destroy & Replace every single one of them in an instant!

 

نَحْنُ خَلَقْنَاهُمْ وَشَدَدْنَا أَسْرَهُمْ ۖ وَإِذَا شِئْنَا بَدَّلْنَا أَمْثَالَهُمْ تَبْدِيلًا

“It is We Who created them, and We have made them strong in built. And when We will, We can replace them with others like them with a complete replacement!” (Surah Al-Insan, 76:28)

 

وَكَأَيِّنْ مِنْ قَرْيَةٍ هِيَ أَشَدُّ قُوَّةً مِنْ قَرْيَتِكَ الَّتِي أَخْرَجَتْكَ أَهْلَكْنَاهُمْ فَلَا نَاصِرَ لَهُمْ

“And many a town have We destroyed which were stronger than your town (Makkah) - And there was none to help them.” (Surah Muhammad 47:13)

 

8. The Solution is Clear: Turn back to Allah, the Source of all Help and Success

This calamity is a result of us, collectively as an ummah, obsessing over dunya, abandoning our religion, and forgetting our hereafter.  

 

 

 عَنْ ثَوْبَانَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ يُوشِكُ الأُمَمُ أَنْ تَدَاعَى عَلَيْكُمْ كَمَا تَدَاعَى الأَكَلَةُ إِلَى قَصْعَتِهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ قَائِلٌ وَمِنْ قِلَّةٍ نَحْنُ يَوْمَئِذٍ قَالَ ‏"‏ بَلْ أَنْتُمْ يَوْمَئِذٍ كَثِيرٌ وَلَكِنَّكُمْ غُثَاءٌ كَغُثَاءِ السَّيْلِ وَلَيَنْزِعَنَّ اللَّهُ مِنْ صُدُورِ عَدُوِّكُمُ الْمَهَابَةَ مِنْكُمْ وَلَيَقْذِفَنَّ اللَّهُ فِي قُلُوبِكُمُ الْوَهَنَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ قَائِلٌ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَمَا الْوَهَنُ قَالَ ‏"‏ حُبُّ الدُّنْيَا وَكَرَاهِيَةُ الْمَوْتِ ‏"

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “There will come a time when nations will soon gather and summon one another to attack you, just as people when eating invite others to share their feast.”

Someone asked: “Will that be because of our small numbers at that time?”

He replied: “No, in fact you will be many in number, at that time! But you will be of no substance: like the scum and rubbish like those carried down by a torrent, and Allah will take fear of you from the hearts of your enemy and place al-wahn (weakness) into your hearts.”

Someone asked: “What is wahn?”.

Messenger of Allah ﷺ replied: “Love of this dunya and hatred for death.” (Abu Daud)

 

The Prophet ﷺ also said,

إِذَا تَبَايَعْتُمْ بِالْعِينَةِ وَأَخَذْتُمْ أَذْنَابَ الْبَقَرِ وَرَضِيتُمْ بِالزَّرْعِ وَتَرَكْتُمُ الْجِهَادَ سَلَّطَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْكُمْ ذُلاًّ لاَ يَنْزِعُهُ حَتَّى تَرْجِعُوا إِلَى دِينِكُمْ

“(When you become obsessed over this worldly life) and abandon struggling for the sake of Allah, Allah will disgrace you and will not withdraw it until you return to your religion.” (Abu Daud)

 

9. Never forget: Eventually, you will die too. Ultimately you are still responsible - and will be questioned - for your actions on the Day of Judgment

 

..And it’s only then will TRUE justice be served, and TRUE success and failure will be made apparent:

كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ ۗ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوْنَ أُجُورَكُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ ۖ فَمَنْ زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ ۗ وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ

“Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception” (Surah Ali Imran 3:185)

 

10. Do not act based on emotions – Act in accordance to the guidelines that Allah and His Messenger ﷺ have specified.  There is no obedience by committing disobedience!

 

When Ibrahim, the son of the Prophet ﷺ passed away in his infancy, the Prophet ﷺ was in tears from his sadness. The companion, Abdurrahman bin Awf asked, “O Messenger of Allah – even you are crying?” Then he wept even more and said,

يَا ابْنَ عَوْفٍ إِنَّهَا رَحْمَةٌ ‏‏. إِنَّ الْعَيْنَ تَدْمَعُ، وَالْقَلْبَ يَحْزَنُ، وَلاَ نَقُولُ إِلاَّ مَا يَرْضَى رَبُّنَا، وَإِنَّا بِفِرَاقِكَ يَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ لَمَحْزُونُونَ

"The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord. O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation” (Al-Bukhari)

 

This statement of the Prophet ﷺ teaches us a very important lesson in akhlaq of how we should respond as Muslims. Yes, our heart saddens and bleeds for the oppression against our brothers and sisters. Yes, this massacres and crimes against humanity are unacceptable, even by the lowest of civil standards.

But at the same time, we must behave rationally, control our emotions to say and act in accordance to what Allah is pleased with, and not transgress our limits.

 

لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ، إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ

“True strength is not the one who overcomes others by his physical strength (i.e. wrestling others); true strength is the one who controls himself when he is in anger” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

 

The phrase, “do ANYTHING, as long as you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT” is not applicable for Muslims. Because if that “something” is something Haram and ends up being an act of disobedience to Allah – then this is falsehood: There is no such thing as “obeying Allah by disobeying Him”.

 

فَإِنْ تَنَازَعْتُمْ فِي شَيْءٍ فَرُدُّوهُ إِلَى اللَّـهِ وَالرَّسُولِ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّـهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ

“(And) if you differ in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger (i.e. the Qur’an and Sunnah), if you believe in Allah and in the Last Day.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:59)

 

11. Do not perform deeds which might result in disobedience

With the flood of information and “call to action” on the internet today, it can be difficult to distinguish right from wrong, especially when these emotional outcries are so loud and viral. Some of these viral messages call to things which are haram or contain elements of vulgarity which do not befit the Muslim character. Consult the people of knowledge!

فَاسْأَلُوا أَهْلَ الذِّكْرِ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

“And Ask the people of knowledge, if you don’t know” (Surah Al-Anbiya 21:7)

 

Or, when in doubt, just don’t act on it. Stick to what you KNOW.

دَعْ مَا يُرِيبُك إلَى مَا لَا يُرِيبُك

"Leave behind what makes you doubt, and instead, stick to what does not give you doubt" (An-Nasa'i, At-Tirmidzi).

 

12. The Prophet ﷺ was sent as a mercy, not to curse

The companions once requested the Prophet ﷺ to invoke the curse (la’nah) of Allah upon the disbelieving idol-worshippers (mushrikun). He responded by saying:

 

 إِنِّي لَمْ أُبْعَثْ لَعَّانًا وَإِنَّمَا بُعِثْتُ رَحْمَةً

“Verily, I have not been sent as an invoker of curse; rather, I have been sent as a Mercy” (Muslim)

 

Note: Yes, there are exceptions to this general case. Again, consult the people of knowledge, not just cursing out of emotion.

 

13. If you can't say something that Pleases Allah, then just shut up

‏ مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا، أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say what is good, or just keep quiet!” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

 

Note: Silence is not “doing nothing”. To refrain yourself from saying something harmful or from making things worse, seeking the pleasure of Allah, is a very active act of taqwa. And Allah is Not unaware of that!

 

أَنَا زَعِيمٌ بِبَيْتٍ فِي رَبَضِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْمِرَاءَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مُحِقًّا وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي وَسَطِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْكَذِبَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مَازِحًا وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي أَعْلَى الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ حَسَّنَ خُلُقَهُ

“I guarantee a house at the edge of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he were in the right,

a house in the middle of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking,

and a house in the highest part of Paradise for the one with good akhlaq and conduct” (Abu Daud)

 

14. Be careful what news you spread in these times of massive misinformation and irrational emotional responses

 

 بِحَسْبِ الْمَرْءِ مِنَ الْكَذِبِ أَنْ يُحَدِّثَ بِكُلِّ مَا سَمِعَ ‏

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "It is enough for a man to prove himself a liar when he goes on narrating every single thing he hears." (Muslim)

 

15. Provide financial support and aid within your capacity: Every atom's weight of good deed counts!

 

Identify trustworthy organizations that are channeling funds to offer any form of aid (e.g. medical supplies, food) to our brothers and sisters. Every cent counts!

 

لاَ تَحْقِرَنَّ مِنَ الْمَعْرُوفِ شَيْئًا وَلَوْ أَنْ تَلْقَى أَخَاكَ بِوَجْهٍ طَلْقٍ

“Do not consider any of your good deeds as insignificant, even if it is that you meet your brother with a cheerful face.” (Muslim)

 

 

اتَّقُوا النَّارَ وَلَوْ بِشِقِّ تَمْرَةٍ

"Save yourselves from the Hellfire, even if it is by giving half a date in charity" (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

 

 

16. Never underestimate the power of du'aa

 

ثَلاَثَةٌ لاَ تُرَدُّ دَعْوَتُهُمُ الصَّائِمُ حَتَّى يُفْطِرَ وَالإِمَامُ الْعَادِلُ وَدَعْوَةُ الْمَظْلُومِ يَرْفَعُهَا اللَّهُ فَوْقَ الْغَمَامِ وَيَفْتَحُ لَهَا أَبْوَابَ السَّمَاءِ وَيَقُولُ الرَّبُّ وَعِزَّتِي لأَنْصُرَنَّكَ وَلَوْ بَعْدَ حِينٍ

There are three people whose du’aa (supplication) are not rejected:

1. The fasting person until he breaks his fast;

2. The just leader; and

3. The supplication of the oppressed person; Allah raises the du’aa up above the clouds and opens the gates of heaven to it. And the Lord says: “I swear by My might, I shall surely Help you, even if it should be after a while.’” (At-Tirmidzi, ibn Majah)

 

By the way: Don't ever fall into the trap of belittling du'aa (e.g. "Just" make du'aa?) - If you do so, this is in fact, belittling Allah Himself - as the All-Powerful, Creator and Lord of the Universe - na'udzubillah.. this is borderline shirik, a far greater sin than your compassion for the victims.

Again: you cannot obey Allah by disobeying Allah!

 

Know, dear Muslim, that your du’aa is 100% guaranteed to be responded – even if Allah may delay His Help, or grant victory and success in the akhirah (which is what matters most).

 

Continuously make du’aa for them, such as the Qunoot Nazilah taught by the Prophet ﷺ in Sahih Al-Bukhari:

 

اللَّهُمَّ أَنْجِ َالْمُسْتَضْعَفِينَ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ في غزة، اللَّهُمَّ اشْدُدْ وَطْأَتَكَ عَلَى اليهود، وَاجْعَلْهَا عَلَيْهِمْ سِنِينَ كَسِنِي يُوسُفَ

"O Allah! Save the weak and the helpless people among the faithful believers in Gaza.

O Allah! Be hard and sever on the evil Zionist regime and let them suffer from famine years like that of the time of Yusuf."

 

 

17. Making du'aa for them benefits you too

 

.. So make lots of it!

Make it a habit: every time you hear, see, or read about tragic news of what is happening out there in the media, put in the effort to make intentional du’aa from your heart for Allah to help them, alleviate their suffering, grant and reward their patience, and recompense them with something far greater in the Hereafter.

 

دَعْوَةُ الْمَرْءِ الْمُسْلِمِ لأَخِيهِ بِظَهْرِ الْغَيْبِ مُسْتَجَابَةٌ، عِنْدَ رَأْسِهِ مَلَكٌ مُوَكَّلٌ كُلَّمَا دَعَا لأَخِيهِ بِخَيْرٍ، قَالَ الْمَلَكُ الْمُوَكَّلُ بِهِ: آمِينَ وَلَكَ بِمِثْلٍ

“The du’aa (supplication) of a Muslim for his brother at his back (in his absence) is mustajab (responded to);

As long as He is making a du’aa of goodness for his brother, an angel commissioned (by Allah) will be by his side, and (will also make du’aa) and say:

“Ameen, and May it be granted for you too!”

(Narrated by Muslim)

 

 

18. When will the Help of Allah come?!

 

During the early days of Makkah, the Prophet ﷺ and his companions faced mass oppression from the disbelievers of Quraysh, completely denied of their freedom to practice their religion: even though they were a small minority in the community and did not harm the rest of the Quraysh in any way.

One companion, Khabbab bin Al-Aratt was so severely tortured that he had visible holes in his back from being tortured by the Quraysh, who used to make him lie down on burning hot coals. Out of desperation, he asked the Prophet ﷺ, “Will you not ask the help of Allah?!”

The Prophet ﷺ set up straight with signs of anger appearing on his face as it turned red, and responded:

انَ الرَّجُلُ فِيمَنْ قَبْلَكُمْ يُحْفَرُ لَهُ فِي الأَرْضِ فَيُجْعَلُ فِيهِ، فَيُجَاءُ بِالْمِنْشَارِ، فَيُوضَعُ عَلَى رَأْسِهِ فَيُشَقُّ بِاثْنَتَيْنِ، وَمَا يَصُدُّهُ ذَلِكَ عَنْ دِينِهِ، وَيُمْشَطُ بِأَمْشَاطِ الْحَدِيدِ، مَا دُونَ لَحْمِهِ مِنْ عَظْمٍ أَوْ عَصَبٍ، وَمَا يَصُدُّهُ ذَلِكَ عَنْ دِينِهِ، وَاللَّهِ لَيُتِمَّنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ حَتَّى يَسِيرَ الرَّاكِبُ مِنْ صَنْعَاءَ إِلَى حَضْرَمَوْتَ، لاَ يَخَافُ إِلاَّ اللَّهَ أَوِ الذِّئْبَ عَلَى غَنَمِهِ، وَلَكِنَّكُمْ تَسْتَعْجِلُونَ

“Among the nations before you a (believing) man would be put in a ditch that was dug for him, and a saw would be put over his head and he would be cut into two pieces; yet that (torture) would not make him give up his religion. His body would be combed with iron combs that would remove his flesh from the bones and nerves, yet that would not make him abandon his religion. By Allah, this religion (i.e. Islam) will prevail till a traveler from Sana (in Yemen) to Hadrarmaut will fear none but Allah, or a wolf as regards his sheep,

But you (people) are impatient and hasty.” (Al-Bukhari)

أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَنْ تَدْخُلُوا الْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُمْ مَثَلُ الَّذِينَ خَلَوْا مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ ۖ مَسَّتْهُمُ الْبَأْسَاءُ وَالضَّرَّاءُ وَزُلْزِلُوا حَتَّىٰ يَقُولَ الرَّسُولُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مَعَهُ مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ اللَّـهِ ۗ أَلَا إِنَّ نَصْرَ اللَّـهِ قَرِيبٌ

“Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, "When will the Help of Allah come?"

Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:214)

 

19. Do not be sad or lose hope: Allah guarantees victory in for those believers!

 

وَلَا تَهِنُوا وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَنْتُمُ الْأَعْلَوْنَ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ مُؤْمِنِينَ

"So do not become weak (against your enemy), nor be sad, and you will be superior (in victory) if you are indeed (true) believers." (Ali Imran 3:139)

 

We know in the hadith that we will gain victory eventually. When will that be? We don’t know. We know it’s coming. The question is: what are we doing today to be part of that victory? How are we educating ourselves and our children to be the people who will be fighting alongside Prophet Isa, against Dajjal and his supporters?

.. And even if we don’t earn physical victory in this dunia in our lifetime, know that the true victory – the TRUE SUCCESS – is Paradise.

 

20. Remember the End in Mind: Never lose sight of the Big Picture

 

There was once a quote that says, “Do you cry for Masjid Al-Aqsa, yet you abandon praying Fajr in your own mosque?”

We need to stop being reactive noise-making Muslims who are only emotionally reacting to evil situations when our ummah is oppressed. We need to step up, to be proactive in becoming people of righteousness. Play our part in da’wah, to spread the beautiful message of Allah, in the beautiful manners (akhlaq) that He prescribed, regardless of the circumstances.

Whether or not oppression takes place, one thing is for sure: We will all return to Allah, and we will all be called to account for our deeds.

 

وَاتَّقُوا يَوْمًا تُرْجَعُونَ فِيهِ إِلَى اللَّـهِ ۖ ثُمَّ تُوَفَّىٰ كُلُّ نَفْسٍ مَا كَسَبَتْ وَهُمْ لَا يُظْلَمُونَ

“And fear the Day when you will return to Allah. Then, every person shall be repaid for what he earned, and they shall not be dealt with unjustly.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:281)

 

 

اللَّهُمَّ أَنْجِ َالْمُسْتَضْعَفِينَ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ في غزة، اللَّهُمَّ اشْدُدْ وَطْأَتَكَ عَلَى اليهود، وَاجْعَلْهَا عَلَيْهِمْ سِنِينَ كَسِنِي يُوسُفَ

"O Allah! Save the weak and the helpless people among the faithful believers in Gaza.

O Allah! Be hard and sever on the evil Zionist regime and let them suffer from famine years like that of the time of Yusuf."

 

Amin

“Agar Kamu Bersyukur” - Renungan hikmah Hari Raya

Pada penghujung bulan Ramadan, padai saat hampir-hampir nak raya, umat Islam di Malaysia diuji dengan PKP. Dan kita dapat lihat, ramai di kalangan rakyat yang tidak berpuas hati; malah ada pula golongan-golongan yang mendesak rakyat untuk bangkit dan protes terhadap kerajaan dan pihak berkuasa sebagai tunjuk perasaan tidak puas hati.

Jika direnungkan di dalam Al-Qur’an berkenaan dengan ayat-ayat tentang Ramadhan dan berpuasa, Allah simpulkan dengan berikut:

يُرِيدُ اللَّـهُ بِكُمُ الْيُسْرَ وَلَا يُرِيدُ بِكُمُ الْعُسْرَ وَلِتُكْمِلُوا الْعِدَّةَ وَلِتُكَبِّرُوا اللَّـهَ عَلَىٰ مَا هَدَاكُمْ وَلَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ

“Allah menghendaki kemudahan untukmu, dan Dia tidaklah menghendaki kesukaran untukmu. Dan juga supaya kamu cukupkan bilangan puasa (sebulan Ramadan), dan supaya kamu memembesarkan (bertakbir kepada) Allah atas petunjuk-Nya yang di-Kurniakan kepadamu,
agar kamu BERSYUKUR.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:185)

Agar Kamu Bersyukur: Itulah matlamat kesimpulan ibadah sepanjang Ramadhan. Jadi mereka yang menyemarakkan semangat orang ramai untuk meluahkan perasaan “tidak puas hati” itu bukan sahaja direct bertentangan dengan apa yang disebutkan oleh Allah dalam Al-Qur’an, malah mengajak manusia untuk bertindak sebalik matlamat Hari Raya sama sekali.

Realitinya, kalau kita fikirkan secara matang dan objektif, kalau kita pandang nikmat-nikmat dunia yang ada di sekeliling kita - seperti kesihatan kita, keselamatan, makanan kita - kita jauh lagi banyak alasan untuk bersyukur kepada Allah. Tidakkah kita lihat kesusahan yang ramai umat Islam - termasuk saudara saudari kita di Gaza, Syria dan Yaman - hadapi setiap hari?

Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda,
مَنْ أَصْبَحَ مِنْكُمْ مُعَافًى فِي جَسَدِهِ آمِنًا فِي سِرْبِهِ عِنْدَهُ قُوتُ يَوْمِهِ فَكَأَنَّمَا حِيزَتْ لَهُ الدُّنْيَا
"Barangsiapa di antara kamu yang bangun tidur, dalam keadaan ada kesihatan pada tubuh badannya, ada keselamatan pada badannya dan dirinya, dan mempunyai makanan secukupnya untuk HARI tersebut, maka seakan-akan dia telah memiliki nikmat seluruh dunia dan seisinya” (HR At-Tirmidzi, ibn Majah)

Menarik kalau dilihat hadith ini, dari perspektif dunia sekarang pada abad ke-21. Penyelidikan tentang kadar kemiskinan dunia sekarang menunjukkan: Kalau anda mempunyai makanan dalam peti sejuk, pakaian di atas belakang tubuh, bumbung atas kepala, dan tempat tinggal untuk tidur, maka anda lebih kaya daripada 75% daripada penduduk dunia.

Fakta: Kebarangkalian besar, anda yang membaca post Facebook saya ini sekarang, tergolong antara 25% yang paling kaya di dunia. Syabas!

Jadi, mengapa kita terlalu mudah berasa tidak puas hati dan tidak bersyukur bila Allah uji kita dengan ditarik sedikit daripada nikmat dunia - yang barangkali tidak dirasai oleh majoriti populasi dunia ni, baikpun di luar musim COVID-199?

Boleh jadi, kita ada penyakit mental iaitu “entitlement mindset” dengan Allah. Sebab Allah bagi kita semua kenikmatan ni tanpa kita minta, kita rasa seolah-olah Allah mesti bagi kita. Kita lupa diri sendiri - lupa siapa Rabb, dan siapa hamba.

Atau boleh jadi, sebab kita dah terlalu berharap kepada sesuatu di dunia. Naluri manusia ni, bila dah banyak banyak buat pelaburan dalam satu perkara, memang dia terasa berat nak tinggalkan. Mungkin begitulah perasaan sesetengah golongan - mereka dah banyak buat persediaan, dah banyak spend duit, jadi bila last minute dapat berita tak best, dia rasa kerugian yang besar.

Renungkan nasihat yang diberikan kepada seorang khalifah Bani Umayyah, Sulaiman bin Abdul Malik. Beliau bertanya kepada penasihatnya, “wahai Abu Hazim, mengapa kita begitu membenci kematian?”

لأنكم عمرتم دنياكم وخربتم آخرتكم، فأنتم تكرهون أن تنتقلوا من العمران إلى الخراب‏
“Kerana kamu terlalu ghairah mendirikan duniamu dan kamu mengabaikan akhiratmu.
Maka kamu benci untuk meninggalkan sesuatu yang kamu dah berusaha dirikan, kepada sesuatu yang kamu telah abaikan”

Mantap, nasihat Abu Hazim ni. Siapa yang banyak spend duit dan masa bersiap untuk Raya, dan - QaddarAllahu wa mashaa faal - terhalang disebabkan PKP atau perkara lain yang berbangkit, maka akan kecewa besar, bila plan tak jadi.  

Sebaliknya, bagi seorang mukmin yang dah banyak menginfaq-kan hartanya dan usaha and ibadah untuk melaburkan akhiratnya, maka dia akan lebih tenang dalam hidup ini, kerana dia tahu, sekali-kali tidak akan kecewa, kerana Kiamat itu pasti, dan Allah sekali-kali tidak akan memungkiri Janji-Nya.
Mereka yang telah berusaha mendirikan akhiratnya - sepanjang bulan Ramadhan - mengenali nikmat dan ganjaran yang Allah telah sediakan untuk hamba-Nya yang soleh, terutama sekali mereka yang telah bersungguh-sungguh beribadah sepanjang bulan keberkatan ini, dan optimis berharap dapat memperoleh Laylatul Qadar, dan telah merasai kenikmatan dan kemanisan dalam ibadah mereka - dalam berdoa, dalam solat, dalam sujud, dalam bacaan Qur’an mereka. Diingatkan tentang sabda Nabi ﷺ,

وَلِلصَّائِمِ فَرْحَتَانِ فَرْحَةٌ حِينَ يُفْطِرُ وَفَرْحَةٌ حِينَ يَلْقَى رَبَّهُ
"Bagi mereka yang berpuasa, terdapat dua kegembiraan: Kegembiraan ketika waktu berbuka puasa, dan kegembiraan ketika bertemu dengan Rabb-nya” (Al-Bukhari)

.. Maka oleh itu, mereka bersyukur tatkala Hari Raya.
Sebab kalau Allah menerima amal soleh mereka, mereka tahu: Ada kegembiraan yang lagi BEST bakal menanti mereka, insha Allah!

Disebabkan itu, Mu’alla bin Al-Fadhl berkata, “para salafus soleh akan berdoa selama 6 bulan selepas Ramadhan, agar Allah menerima amal soleh mereka pada bulan Ramadhan”

Jadi persoalannya adalah, di mana kita lebih banyak melaburkan usaha, masa, harta dan pengharapan kita?

Memang tidak dinafikan, PKP dan wabak COVID-19 mendatangkan banyak kesusahan kepada kita. Oleh itu, terus berdoa, semoga Allah permudahkan urusan semua yang dibebani dan diuji, terutama mereka yang dijangkiti virus ini, frontliners yang bersusah payah merawat pesakit, mereka yang dibebani dengan kekangan ekonomi dan kehilangan pekerjaan.. Semoga Allah terus mengurniakan kesabaran, membalas kesabaran kalian semua, menggantikan yang lebih baik di dunia dan lebih-lebih lagi di akhirat.

Kejadian-kejadian kebelakangan ini sepatutnya membuatkan kita sedar: Dunia pasti mengecewakan. Bila kita terlalu berharap dengan dunia, maka sudah pasti kita akan kecewa. Bila kita berharap dengan Allah, takkan kecewa. Gerenti.

تَقَبَّلَ اللّهُ مِنَّا وَ مِنْكُمْ
"Semoga Allah menerima daripada kami, dan daripadamu" 🤲🏽

Best Ramadan Ever Alhamdulillah

 

Alhamdulillah, in hindsight this has been one of the best Ramadan ever, as the first Ramadan since our team of brothers started The Barakah Effect

In spite of the crazy daily schedule and struggling with my increasingly difficult full-time day job, Alhamdulillah the team managed to consistently keep the podcast alive, with 2 live episodes (alongside our scheduled weekly releases).

Just these alone completely elevated my personal experience throughout Ramadan. It has always been our intention since day 1 for #thebarakaheffect to be a community of like-minded individuals to learn from each other: our life-hacks, tips and tricks, lessons learnt, and pitfalls to avoid - on how we can make the best in our lives - so we can make the best of our lives, given the constraints of time and resources that all of us face every day.

And Alhamdulillah, for me, it really fulfilled that objective. Learning from the brothers, bringing together their experiences from different lenses, brought a deeper perspective of "what we should do", that "we really CAN do more", and even bitter-but-needed realizations that "by the way, that's not the most efficient or productive way of doing things".

One thing I really enjoyed was how my tadabbur (personal reflection and contemplation of the meanings) of the Qur'an throughout Ramadan had a different profound experience this time around since we started the podcast. Recitations of the Qur'an almost feels like an adventure: an exciting discovery of "how I can apply this in my life", especially in the context of future podcast discussions and topics, giving it a much needed sense of renewal to the relationship with the Qur'an.

If that alone was the benefit of the podcast - with zero views, listens or followers - it would have sufficed as a huge benefit. But we made a conscious decision to make these discussions public - because we have always felt that "if I can benefit from it, I'm pretty sure someone else will. So let's love for others what we love for ourselves."
We always remind ourselves, keep our niyyah pure: Don't pay too much attention to the number of views, likes, shares, or subscribers. That is irrelevant. Don't look at the results; look at the efforts. If we can help ONE person become 1% better - and if Allah adds His Barakah to enhance that 1% - then that will be better than the whole dunya and everything in it. 

And despite the innumerable doubts that we used to have, Alhamdulillah by His Grace and His Mercy, ever since we launched back in February, the podcast has opened up many doors of khayr as we are able to connect with many like-minded individuals and organizations (such as Qalby APP , the Mindset Kitchen podcast, IT Learning Academy ), and we received numerous personal heart-warming testimonials of how our discussions have been able to benefit others. These affirmations mean a lot to us, and we appreciate every single one of them. And we do certainly welcome your constructive feedback on how we can improve ("it's too long" is by far the most common comment we received so far. Can't argue with you there.. working on it! Miskeen 🤣)

May Allah keep the team steadfast, ikhlas, and continue improving our craft - and may Allah accept and grant His Barakah to all of our good deeds, Ramadan and beyond.

❤️ Rindu Keluarga Tercinta pada Hari Raya? 😰 - Penawar hati bagi mereka yang terpisah

Pada Hari Raya Aidilfitri tahun ini, disebabkan perlaksanaan PKP yang baru berkuatkuasa ini, barangkali ramai di kalangan kita yang lagi sekali, tidak berpeluang untuk meluangkan masa bersama ahli keluarga tercinta, قَدَّرَ اللَّهُ وَمَا شَاءَ فَعَلَ

Saya diingatkan dengan satu hadith sebagai motivasi kepada kita semua. Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda:

أَنْتَ مَعَ مَنْ أَحْبَبْت

"Engkau akan bersama dengan orang yang engkau cintai" (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

Inilah janji Allah kepada semua yang beriman kepada-Nya dan Hari Akhir - kita akan dihimpunkan semula dengan semua yang kita cintai. Allah berfirman:

وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَاتَّبَعَتْهُمْ ذُرِّيَّتُهُمْ بِإِيمَانٍ أَلْحَقْنَا بِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ وَمَا أَلَتْنَاهُمْ مِنْ عَمَلِهِمْ مِنْ شَيْءٍ ۚ كُلُّ امْرِئٍ بِمَا كَسَبَ رَهِينٌ

"Dan orang-oranng yang beriman, dan zuriat mereka yang mengikuti mereka dalam iman, Kami himpunkan mereka bersama zuriat mereka, 

dan Kami tiada mengurangi sedikitpun dari pahala amal mereka." (Surah At-Tur 52:21)

فَأَمَّا مَنْ أُوتِيَ كِتَابَهُ بِيَمِينِهِ ﴿٧﴾ فَسَوْفَ يُحَاسَبُ حِسَابًا يَسِيرًا ﴿٨﴾ وَيَنْقَلِبُ إِلَىٰ أَهْلِهِ مَسْرُورًا

"Adapun mereka yang menerima kitab amalannya dengan tangan kanannya, maka dia akan diperiksa dengan pemeriksaan yang mudah, 

dan dia akan kembali kepada keluarganya dengan gembira." (Surah Al-Inshiqaq 84:7-9)

Masha Allah - alangkah indahnya janji Allah bagi orang mukmin!   

Cuma, harapan ini hanyalah bagi mereka yang beriman dan mati di atasnya.

Maka menjadi satu dorongan kepada kita untuk bersungguh-sungguh lagi dalam mengerjakan amal soleh, saling mengingati dan tolong-menolong ke arah kebaikan dan taqwa, agar mudah-mudahan dihimpunkan semula bersemua semua di sebaik-baik tempat di Syurga.

Tapi yang lagi best dan bagi semangat lagi, himpunan ni bukan terhad kepada ahli keluarga sahaja - malah termasuk semua orang yang kita cinta demi Allah, termasuk sahabat-sahabat kita yang kita sayangi, yang turut terpisah semenjak pandemik COVID19 ini. Malah, termasuk Rasulullah ﷺ sendiri!

Anas bin Malik, apabila mendengar kata-kata Rasulullah, أَنْتَ مَعَ مَنْ أَحْبَبْتَ (engkau akan bersama dengan orang yang engkau cintai) dia berkata,

"Kami tidak pernah merasai begitu gembira sehingga setelah mendengar kata-kata Rasulullah ﷺ ini!

Maka, aku pun mencintai Rasulullah ﷺ, Abu Bakar dan Umar, dan aku mengharapkan moga-moga aku dapat dihimpunkan bersama mereka, walaupun amalan-amalanku tidaklah setaraf dengan mereka!" (HR Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

Seorang sahabat pernah berkata kepada Rasulullah ﷺ, 

"Wahai Rasulullah ﷺ, sesungguhnya, aku lebih mencintaimu lebih daripada diriku sendiri, ahli keluargaku dan anak-anakku! Apabila aku pulang ke rumah, aku terus ingat kepadamu dan aku tak bersabar untuk bertemu denganmu.

Tetapi apabila aku terfikir tentang kematianku, dan kematianmu pada masa akan datang, aku tahu bahawasanya engkau akan masuk ke syurga dan diangkat ke darjat bersama para Nabi-nabi yang lain. Dan aku takut aku tidak akan dapat menumpaimu di syurga kelak.."

Mendengar kata-kata sahabat ini, Rasulullah ﷺ terdiam. Kemudian malaikat Jibril menurunkan wahyu Allah di dalam Surah an-Nisa, ayat 69:

وَمَن يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُوْلَـئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِم مِّنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَآءِ وَالصَّـلِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَـئِكَ رَفِيقاً 

"Dan barangsiapa yang taat Allah dan Rasul(Nya), mereka itu akan bersama-sama dengan orang-orang yang dianugerahi nikmat oleh Allah, yaitu: Nabi-nabi, para siddiqin, orang-orang yang mati syahid, dan orang-orang soleh. Dan mereka itulah sebaik-baik teman!"

(HR Ahmad Shakir yang dinilai Sahih lighayrihi)

Hadith-hadith & Ayat Al-Qur'an ini menunjukkan juga betapa pentingnya kita untuk berkawan dengan orang-orang soleh, agar kita dapat peroleh kecintaan demi Allah. 

Kerana hadith ini juga membawa maksud sebaliknya: Sayang kepada seorang fasiq atau pelaku dosa juga boleh mengakibatkan kita dihimpunkan bersama mereka pada Hari Kiamat. Boleh jadi, kalau kita sayang kawan kita yang huha atau selebriti idaman kita atas kemaksiatan dan amalan-amalan dosa mereka, mungkinkah itu menjadi dasar "perhimpunan" kita pada hari kiamat?

Sebaliknya, atas Rahmat Allah, Dia membenarkan orang-orang soleh di Syurga untuk memberi syafaat kepada orang yang beriman yang diazab di neraka, meskipun sekecil-kecil iman. Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda, 

"Orang-orang beriman di syurga akan mengadu, 

"Ya Allah! Selamatkanlah saudara-saudara kami - mereka solat bersama kami, puasa bersama kami, dan melakukan amal soleh bersama kami!"

Dan Allah akan berfirman, "pergilah - dan barangsiapa yang kau kenali dan jumpa di neraka, mereka yang ada iman sebesar satu zarah"

Dan Allah akan mengharamkan neraka daripada menyentuh mereka" (HR Al-Bukhari)

Ibn Al-Jauzi pernah berkata kepada sahabat-sahabatnya,

إن لم تجدوني في الجنة بينكم فاسألوا عني وقولوا : يا ربنا عبدك فلان كان يذكرنا بك

“Jika kalian tidak menjumpaiku di syurga, maka tanyakanlah tentang aku kepada Allah. 

Ucapkan: "Wahai Rabb kami, hambaMu fulan, dulu dia pernah mengingatkan kami untuk mengingat Engkau.”

Kemudian beliau menangis.

Semoga Allah menghimpunkan bersama ahli keluarga kita, Rasul-Nya, Abu Bakar, Umar dan hamba-hamba-Nya yang soleh, serta mengikhlaskan kecintaan kita kepada mereka agar ianya hanya Demi Allah. 🤲🏼

Du’aa: Ask Allah for a Good Ending (Husnul Khatimah)

 

Among some of the most important du’aa we should be asking Allah for this Ramadhan is to have a good ending; to depart this world in a state of Him being Pleased with us.
The magicians of Fir’aun – when they saw the mu’jizaat (the signs of Allah) of Prophet Musa – they fell into prostration, in true iman and repentance to Allah. And despite the severe death threats of mutilation and being crucified by Fir’aun, they stood firm in belief, and make the following du’aa for patience and a good end; a du’aa which we all can also continuously make:

رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًا وَتَوَفَّنَا مُسْلِمِينَ
“Our Lord, pour upon us patience and let us die as Muslims (in submission to You!)” (Surah Al-A’raf 7:126)

Likewise, we can also make the Du’aa of Yusuf (alayhissalam):

فَاطِرَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ أَنْتَ وَلِيِّي فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ ۖ تَوَفَّنِي مُسْلِمًا وَأَلْحِقْنِي بِالصَّالِحِينَ
“Creator of the heavens and earth, You are my protector in this world and in the Hereafter. Cause me to die a Muslim (in submission to you) and join me with the righteous." (Surah Yusuf 12:101)

The context of this du’aa is inspiring. Yusuf made this du’aa at the very end of the surah, after his dream came from of his parents and brothers making sujood (prostration) to him out of respect. This was after enduring a lifetime of patience and righteous deeds: of being oppressed by members of his own household, of being sold off as a slave, of refusing zina out of taqwa of Allah despite no one else being present, of being oppressively thrown into jail (and still giving da’wah there!), and finally, being appointed as Al-Aziz (minister) of Egypt, carried out his duties with absolute justice and transformative leadership – to the extent that a calamity-stricken country enduring SEVEN long years of drought was managed so well that they have so much abundance that they could afford to give charity to other neighboring nations!

YET – in spite of a LIFETIME of righteousness – he made du’aa to Allah, “تَوَفَّنِي مُسْلِمًا وَأَلْحِقْنِي بِالصَّالِحِينَ”, “cause me to die in a state of submission to Allah, and enjoin me among the righteous”.
Amazing!

And here’s another amazing du’aa that we should be making constantly. Umm Salamah (wife of Rasulullah ﷺ ) narrated that: the du’aa (supplication) the Prophet ﷺ said most frequently was:

يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِكَ
“O Changer of the hearts, make my heart firm upon Your religion”

So Umm Salamah said: “O Messenger of Allah, why do you supplicate (this du’aa) so frequently?”  The Prophet ﷺ said,

يَا أُمَّ سَلَمَةَ إِنَّهُ لَيْسَ آدَمِيٌّ إِلاَّ وَقَلْبُهُ بَيْنَ أُصْبُعَيْنِ مِنْ أَصَابِعِ اللَّهِ فَمَنْ شَاءَ أَقَامَ وَمَنْ شَاءَ أَزَاغَ
“O Umm Salamah! Verily, there is no human being except that his heart is between Two Fingers of the Fingers of Allah, so whomsoever He wills He makes steadfast, and whomever He wills He causes to deviate.” (At-Tirmidzi who graded it hasan)

Notice: This du’aa wasn’t just “taught” by the Prophet ﷺ. He HIMSELF made this du’aa all the time. The one who is forgiven his past and future sins, the one guaranteed the highest level of paradise. The one whom, of all human beings in existence, would be the most immune to his heart falling into deviation.

What about you and I?!

Finally, we should also ask Allah to make us die amongst the martyrs (syuhada). Prophet Muhammad ﷺ  said:

مَنْ سَأَلَ اللَّهَ الشَّهَادَةَ بِصِدْقٍ بَلَّغَهُ اللَّهُ مَنَازِلَ الشُّهَدَاءِ وَإِنْ مَاتَ عَلَى فِرَاشِهِ
“Whomsoever asks Allah to be granted syahadah (martyrdom, to die as a syahid) sincerely in his heart,
Allah will grant him the rank among the syuhada’ (martyrs) even if he died on his death bed.” (Muslim)

Among the du’aa we can make is the du’aa that was made by Umar ibn Al-Khattab:

اللَّهُمَّ ارْزُقْنِي شَهَادَةً فِي سَبِيلِكَ
“Oh Allah, grant me syahadah (to die as a syahid) in Your Path” (Al-Bukhari)
When Umar made this du’aa, he also made an addition: “and cause me to die in the city of your Messenger ﷺ”. Which was something which the companions considered to be strange at the time. How could he be martyred – murdered – in the city of Madinah, which was the stronghold of the Muslim nation, and at the time, already included vast nations such as Persia and Egypt. Yet, Allah honored Umar and granted it to him, when he was murdered by Abu Lu’lu’ah.

It is interesting to reflect, though, that the Prophet ﷺ himself died on his deathbed. So did the best man after him ﷺ, Abu Bakr as-Siddiq. And in fact, the sword of Allah himself, Khalid bin Al-Walid, died on his deathbed at home despite years seeking martyrdom.
Yet out of His Mercy, if you sincerely ask Him, you will still get that reward!

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ خَيْرَ أَعْمَالِنَا خَوَاتِمَهَا، وخَيْرَ أَعْمَارِنَا أَوَاخِرَهَا، وخَيْرَ أَيَّامِنَا يَوْمَ نَلْقَاكَ
"Oh Allah, make the best of our deeds their endings,
and the best of our lives at their end,
and the best of our days when we meet You"

Amin, ya Rabb 🤲🏽
#TheBarakahEffect #husnulkhatimah #goodending #gooddeath #ramadan2021 #ramadan #LaylatulQadr #Duaa

🤲🏽 Perbanyakkan Doa pada bulan Ramadhan: 10 peringatan penting tentang Doa 🤲🏽

Alhamdulillah, antara ibadah yang amat digalakkan pada bulan Ramadhan – lebih-lebih lagi pada 10 hari terakhir ini – adalah amalan Doa kepada Allah.

Sebagai persiapan dan motivasi untuk mengukukuhkan lagi ibadah doa kita untuk hari-hari yang tersisa ini, bersama-sama ini, dihimpunkan sepuluh peringatan penting seputar doa, daripada hadith-hadith sahih Nabi ﷺ:

1. Doa adalah ibadah yang paling mulia di sisi Allah
2. Waktu yang paling afdal untuk berdoa adalah ketika sujud
3. Doa seorang yang berpuasa adalah mustajab - perbanyakkan doa pada waktu siang juga!
4. Jangan lupa berdoa pada waktu sahur!
5. Latih untuk menghadirkan minda dan hati kita ketika doa
6. Doa pendek-pendek sahaja? Tadahal. Malah lagi bagus, sebenarnya!
7. Prioriti: Utamakan berdoa untuk diri sendiri terlebih dahulu…
8. … Tetapi jangan lupa berdoa untuk orang lain juga!
9. Husnu Dzon terhadap Allah: Bersikap optimis bahawasanya Allah pasti akan kabulkan doa kita
10. Rilek, bang - Bersabar untuk doa dikabulkan & jangan tergesa-gesa

Allah berfirman:
وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ ۖ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ
"Dan apabila hamba-hamba-Ku bertanya kepadamu tentang Aku, maka (jawablah), bahwasanya Aku adalah dekat: Aku mengabulkan permohonan orang yang berdoa apabila ia memohon kepada-Ku..”

Menarik bila diperhatikan susunan ayat ini di dalam surah al-Baqarah: Allah berfirman tentang jaminan-Nya untuk memakbulkan Doa para hamba-Nya, di pertengahan ayat-ayat seputar bulan Ramadhan dan ibadah puasa (ayat 183-187). Menunjukkan pentingnya peranan doa pada bulan ini! 

📕📗📘📙📓📔📒📚

1. Doa adalah ibadah yang paling mulia di sisi Allah

Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda:
لَيْسَ شَىْءٌ أَكْرَمَ عَلَى اللَّهِ سُبْحَانَهُ مِنَ الدُّعَاءِ
“Tiada amalan yang lebih mulia di sisi Allah melainkan doa.” (HR At-Tirmidhi, Al-Hakim)
Doa adalah antara amalan yang paling mudah, tapi pada masa yang sama juga antara amalan yang paling dicintai oleh Allah. Kita boleh berdoa pada bila-bila masa sahaja, di mana sahaja (kecuali di tandas!), dengan menggunakan apa sahaja bahasa yang mudah untuk kita. Maka ringankanlah lidah kita untuk sentiasa memohon kepadanya, kerana

Allah berfirman:
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يَسْتَكْبِرُونَ عَنْ عِبَادَتِي سَيَدْخُلُونَ جَهَنَّمَ دَاخِرِينَ
Dan Tuhanmu berfirman: “Berdoalah kepadaKu nescaya akan Aku perkenankan bagimu!
Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang menyombongkan diri dari menyembahKu akan masuk neraka Jahannam dalam keadaan hina dina.” (Surah Ghafir:60)

Di dalam tafsirnya, Al-Munawi berkata, "Jika seseorang itu tidak berdoa dan memohon dan meminta-minta kepada Allah, maka Allah akan murka terhadapnya, kerana sama ada dia telah berputus asa daripada rahmat Allah, atau dia terlalu angkuh untuk memohon daripada-Nya: kedua-duanya ini mendatangkan kemurkaan Allah.
Allah mencintai seseorang yang sentiasa meminta-minta-Nya; manakala untuk seseorang yang TIDAK meminta-Nya, maka Allah membencinya."

2. Waktu yang paling afdal untuk berdoa adalah ketika sujud

Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda:
أَقْرَبُ مَا يَكُونُ الْعَبْدُ مِنْ رَبِّهِ وَهُوَ سَاجِدٌ فَأَكْثِرُوا الدُّعَاءَ
“Saat di mana seorang hamba itu paling rapat dengan Tuhannya ketika ia sedang sujud; maka perbanyakkanlah doa (ketika sujud)” (HR Muslim)

Gunakanlah peluang-peluang kita ketika solat terawih dan qiamullayl. Malah, latih juga diri kita untuk berdoa dalam sujud ketika solat fardhu!

3. Doa seorang yang berpuasa adalah mustajab
Kita sering mendengar galakkan untuk berdoa pada waktu malam – tetapi antara rahmat Allah yang kita selalu lupa adalah bahawasanya antara doa mustajab adalah doa seseorang yang SEDANG BERPUASA – dan ini berlaku sepanjang-panjang hari. Jadi, perbanyakkan doa pada waktu siang juga! Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda:

ثَلاَثَةٌ لاَ تُرَدُّ دَعْوَتُهُمُ الصَّائِمُ حَتَّى يُفْطِرَ وَالإِمَامُ الْعَادِلُ وَدَعْوَةُ الْمَظْلُومِ يَرْفَعُهَا اللَّهُ فَوْقَ الْغَمَامِ وَيَفْتَحُ لَهَا أَبْوَابَ السَّمَاءِ وَيَقُولُ الرَّبُّ وَعِزَّتِي لأَنْصُرَنَّكَ وَلَوْ بَعْدَ حِينٍ ‏
Tiga orang yang doanya tidak tertolak:
Orang yang sedang berpuasa sehingga berbuka, pemimpin yang adil, dan doa orang yang dizalimi/teraniaya.
Allah mengangkatnya ke langit, dibukakan baginya pintu-pintu langit, dan Allah berfirman:
“Demi keagungan-Ku, pasti Aku akan menolongmu meski setelah seketika” (HR ibn Majah dan At-Tirmidzi yang menilainya sebagai hadith hasan)

4. Jangan lupa berdoa pada waktu sahur!
Waktu sahur – yakni, sepertiga malam yang terakhir – adalah antara waktu yang paling afdhal untuk berdoa kepada Allah. Jadi, perbanyakkanlah juga doa-doa anda pada waktu ini. Gunakan waktu sahur untuk “seludup” doa-doa pada waktu tersebut!

Abu Hurairah meriwayatkan, Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda:
يَنْزِلُ رَبُّنَا تَبَارَكَ وَتَعَالَى كُلَّ لَيْلَةٍ إِلَى السَّمَاءِ الدُّنْيَا حِينَ يَبْقَى ثُلُثُ اللَّيْلِ الآخِرُ فَيَقُولُ مَنْ يَدْعُونِي فَأَسْتَجِيبَ لَهُ وَمَنْ يَسْأَلُنِي فَأُعْطِيَهُ وَمَنْ يَسْتَغْفِرُنِي فَأَغْفِرَ لَهُ
“Tuhan yang Maha Berkat dan Maha Tinggi turun setiap malam ke langit dunia sewaktu masa berbaki sepertiga malam terakhir dan berfirman:
Barangsiapa yang berdoa kepada-Ku, nescaya Aku perkenankan baginya?
Barangsiapa yang meminta kepada-Ku nescaya aku akan memberikan (apa yang dipinta) kepadanya?
Barangsiapa yang meminta pengampunan daripada-Ku, nescaya Aku akan mengampuninya?” (HR Al-Bukhari)

5. Latih untuk menghadirkan minda dan hati kita ketika doa

Yang paling penting ketika doa adalah kita BERDOA - bukan "baca doa".
Zaman-zaman Grab ni, mungkin kita dah terlalu terbiasa dengan subcon dan outsource semua benda.. Sampai doa pun kita dah outsource kat imam. Manakala kita yang tidak fasih berbahasa Arab ni, hati kita lalai.
Jangan jatuh dalam perangkap ni! Pastikan bila kita berdoa, kita benar-benar hadirkan hati dan minda kita untuk ikhlas dalam benar-benar memohon daripada Allah, mengabdikan diri dan merealisasikan tawhid kita kepada Allah, mengenali-Nya sebagai Yang Maha Mendengar (السميع), Maha Mengurniakan Rezeki (الرزاق) Yang Maha Memberi (الوهاب), Yang Maha Memakbulkan Doa (المجيب), Yang Maha Kaya (الغني), Yang Maha Berkuasa (القدير), Yang Maha mengurniakan Kejayaan (الفتاح), Yang Maha Pengampun (الغفور)!

Pastikan doa-doa kita bukanlah sekadar mengulang-ulang kata-kata yang kosong semata-mata!

ادْعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَنْتُمْ مُوقِنُونَ بِالإِجَابَةِ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَسْتَجِيبُ دُعَاءً مِنْ قَلْبٍ غَافِلٍ لاَهٍ
“Berdoalah kepada Allah dalam keadaan kamu YAKIN ianya akan diperkenankan;
Dan ketahuilah, bahawasanya Allah tidak akan memperkenankan doa daripada hati yang lalai” (HR At-Tirmidzi)

6. Doa pendek-pendek sahaja? Tadahal. Malah lagi bagus, sebenarnya!

Daripada A’isyah yang meriwayatkan:
كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَسْتَحِبُّ الْجَوَامِعَ مِنَ الدُّعَاءِ وَيَدَعُ مَا سِوَى ذَلِكَ
“Rasulullah amat menyukai doa-doa yang pendek dan komprehensif (mendalam dan penuh maksud), dan dia meninggalkan segala jenis doa yang lain” (HR Abu Daud, dinilai sahih oleh Al-Albani)

Mungkin ada di kalangan kita yang tidak menghafal doa-doa yang panjang, dan hanya mampu menghafal doa-doa yang lebih ringkas. Ini bukanlah menjadi masalah, malah Nabi ﷺ lebih menyukai doa-doa yang pendek tetapi komprehensif dan penuh makna. Malah kalau dilihatkan, kebanyakan antara doa-doa ma’thur daripada hadith-hadith sahih Nabi ﷺ amatlah ringkas dan mudah dihafal.
Jadi, perbanyakkan mengulang-ulangi sahaja doa-doa ringkas yang anda sukai! Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda,

خُذُوا مِنَ الْعَمَلِ مَا تُطِيقُونَ، فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَمَلُّ حَتَّى تَمَلُّوا
“Lakukanlah amalan yang mudah untukmu, kerana sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan bosan sehinggalah kamu bosan.” (Al-Bukhari)

وَأَنَّ أَحَبَّ الأَعْمَالِ أَدْوَمُهَا إِلَى اللَّهِ، وَإِنْ قَلَّ
“Dan amalan yang paling dicintai oleh Allah adalah amalan yang BERTERUSAN, walaupun kecil” (Al-Bukhari)

7. Prioriti: Utamakan berdoa untuk diri sendiri terlebih dahulu…

عَنْ أُبَىِّ بْنِ كَعْبٍ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم كَانَ إِذَا ذَكَرَ أَحَدًا فَدَعَا لَهُ بَدَأَ بِنَفْسِهِ
“Daripada Ubayy bin Ka’ab, bahawa apabila Rasulullah ﷺ menyebut (mendoakan untuk) seseorang (lain), dia akan berdoa untuk dirinya sendiri terlebih dahulu.” (HR At-Tirmidzi)

8. …Tetapi kemudian, jangan lupa berdoa untuk orang lain juga!

Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda:
دَعْوَةُ الْمَرْءِ الْمُسْلِمِ لأَخِيهِ بِظَهْرِ الْغَيْبِ مُسْتَجَابَةٌ عِنْدَ رَأْسِهِ مَلَكٌ مُوَكَّلٌ كُلَّمَا دَعَا لأَخِيهِ بِخَيْرٍ قَالَ الْمَلَكُ الْمُوَكَّلُ بِهِ آمِينَ وَلَكَ بِمِثْلٍ
“Doa seseorang Muslim untuk saudaranya di belakangnya (tanpa pengetahuannya, adalah doa) mustajab, selagi mana dia mendoakan kebaikan untuk saudaranya; salah satu daripada Malaikat akan sentiasa ada bersamanya dan mendoakan “Amin, semoga diperkenankan untuk kamu juga” (HR Muslim)

Dalam syarahan hadith ini, Imam An-Nawawi berkata:
و كان بعض السلف إذا أراد أن يدعو لنفسه يدعوا لأخيه المسلم بتلك الدعوة لأنها تستجاب ويخسل له مثلها
“Sebahagian daripada para salaf, apabila mereka menginginkan sesuatu untuk diri mereka sendiri, mereka akan mendoakannya untuk saudara muslim dengan apa yang diinginkannya itu, kerana ianya mustajab dan akan dikurniakan yang sama bagi dirinya juga.”

Imam Abu Hanifah (rahimahUllah) berkata: "Tidak ada satu solat pun yang aku tunaikan setelah kematian shaikh-ku, Hammad, kecuali aku akan memohon keampunan untuknya, bersama-sama untuk kedua ibu bapaku. Dan sesungguhnya, aku berdoa memohon keampunan untuk sesiapa sahaja yang aku pernah peroleh ilmu daripadanya, atau sesiapa yang aku sampaikan ilmu kepadanya"

9. Husnu Dzon terhadap Allah: Bersikap optimis bahawasanya Allah pasti akan kabulkan doa kita

Sabda Rasulullah ﷺ:
مَا عَلَى الأَرْضِ مُسْلِمٌ يَدْعُو اللَّهَ بِدَعْوَةٍ إِلاَّ آتَاهُ اللَّهُ إِيَّاهَا أَوْ صَرَفَ عَنْهُ مِنَ السُّوءِ مِثْلَهَا مَا لَمْ يَدْعُ بِمَأْثَمٍ أَوْ قَطِيعَةِ رَحِمٍ
“Tiada seorang Muslim di atas muka bumi ini yang berdoa kepada Allah, melainkan
Allah akan memperkenankan doanya; atau
Allah akan menjauhkannya daripada kejahatan yang setaraf dengan doanya,
selagi dia tidak berdoa untuk melakukan dosa atau berdu’a untuk menghancurkan hubungan kekeluargaan (silatur-rahim).
Seorang (sahabat) berkata, “Kalau begitu, kami akan banyakkan doa kami!”
Rasulullah ﷺ menjawab, “اللَّهُ أَكْثَرُ”
“Allah lebih banyak (daripada segala yang kau boleh minta – jadi minta sahaja)!” (HR at-Tirmidzi)

Malah, Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda:
إِنَّ رَبَّكُمْ تَبَارَكَ وَتَعَالَى حَيِيٌّ كَرِيمٌ يَسْتَحْيِي مِنْ عَبْدِهِ إِذَا رَفَعَ يَدَيْهِ إِلَيْهِ أَنْ يَرُدَّهُمَا صِفْرًا
“Sesungguhnya, Tuhanmu – maha berkat dan Maha Tinggi – berasa malu (segan) dengan hamba-Nya, ketika hamba-Nya mengangkat kedua tangannya (dalam berdoa) tetapi dia pulang dengan tangan kosong (dan tidak dikabulkan doanya)” (HR Abu Daud, dinilai “sahih” oleh Al-Albani)

10. Rilek, bang - Bersabar untuk doa dikabulkan & jangan tergesa-gesa
Merujuk kepada hadith di atas, yakinlah, Allah PASTI akan kurniakan doa kita – akan tetapi mengikut hikmah-Nya, dan Rahmat-Nya mengenali kita lebih daripada diri kita sendiri. Jadi, letakkanlah tawakkal kita kepada Allah, bahawa Allah mendegar, dan apa yang Allah kurniakan, pasti yang terbaik untuk diri kita, dunia dan akhirat. Janganlah terburu-buru dan mula mempersoalkan takdir dan hikmah Allah bila kita rasa kita tidak dapat apa yang kita mohon, seolah-olah kita berinteraksi dengan “entitlement mindset”

Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda:
يُسْتَجَابُ لأَحَدِكُمْ مَا لَمْ يَعْجَلْ فَيَقُولُ قَدْ دَعَوْتُ رَبِّي فَلَمْ يَسْتَجِبْ لِي
“Setiap satu daripada doa kamu akan dimakbulkan, selagi mana dia tidak tergesa-gesa dan berkata: “Aku sudah berdoa kepada Tuhanku, tetapi masih tidak dimakbulkan!”” (HR Muslim)

Ayuh sahabat-sahabat – kita perbanyakkan doa kita kepada Allah! Semoga Allah jadikan kita semua di kalangan hamba-hamba-Nya yang ikhlas dan sentiasa berdoa kepada-Nya.

-أبو معاوية-