Before I became a parent, I always wondered to myself, how do I keep my child occupied and engaged without gadgets and screen time? What if he gets bored to death and starts to trigger widespread chaos?
What I didn't expect, was that many parenting authors actually ENCOURAGE Boredom!
"It’s good for children to feel bored! In Simplicity Parenting, author and counselor-therapist Kim Payne characterizes boredom as a “gift,” describing it as the precursor to creativity.
In my own experience, I’ve found this to be true again and again. When my daughters were little, we gave them a lot of unstructured time for play, from which grew a bounty of skits, forts, drawings, puppets, and elaborate worlds for their stuffed animals.
What do we say when our children complain of being bored? I recommend Payne’s single, flatline response: “Something to do is right around the corner.”
Don’t rescue them and don’t entertain them. They’ll find something to do. When all of your friends are signing up their preschoolers for soccer and tumbling, you might worry that simplifying your schedule to allow time for free play will put your kids at a disadvantage. Don’t. Time for children’s play without guidance and purpose is no less than developmentally vital.
("Raising Good Humans", Hunter Clarke-Fields)
In the book "The Montessori Toddler", author Simone Davies talks about how Boredom can provide a rich and inviting area for artistic creativity:
"Allow boredom. When we have unscheduled time in our day to sit without anything planned (and without technology to entertain us), our child has a chance to be bored. Their mind can wander and daydream, they can come up with new ideas, and they can make new connections. When the mind is bored, it seeks stimulation and becomes increasingly creative."
Now of course, this shouldn't be taken to the other extreme of absolving ourselves from the responsibility of spending quality time with them. Rather, the way I see it, it trains us that allowing more space for them to let their mind wander provides a fertile ground for unstructured play to be more mentally independent, instead of being dependent upon the screen and entertainment. And not to worry about keeping them engaged.
When we first implemented this approach since Muawiyah was 2 years old, as the months pass by and his speech was being further developed, we observed that his imaginative storytelling started expanding in pleasantly surprising directions, which facilitates the development of his social and conversational skills.
Naturally, we play along with his imaginary "shark-filled river", make-belief hospital (which we need to "scan" before entering, "Sebab ada COVID-19), and bird-family - where I am big bird, he is little bird and ibu is mama bird - and together create all manner of interesting storylines (complete with plot twists, too!). Toys no longer become the main subject, but simply tools to facilitate his adventurous mind.
Over time, I also noticed that he becomes less demanding to spend time with him, as he awakens his inner introvert and appreciate his private me-time to figure things out by himself.
Getting used to Boredom is, in fact, something that we adults should try to do for ourselves too. In a distraction-filled world where our days are practically glued to screens (especially those of us working from home!), we can all benefit greatly from appreciating periods of digital detox, of peace and quiet for deep thought and remembrance of God.
Food for thought. Have a great weekend, folks. BarakAllah feekum 😊
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