“Don't get mad, get curious”: 7 strategies to Receive Constructive Feedback like a champ

Recently there was a round of feedback exchange at the workplace that opened up a safe space for engineers to freely share their unfiltered thoughts.

Needless to say, it wasn't all roses and confetti. Some of them were quite brutal 💀💥.

Constructive feedback can be difficult to accept, and if you’re like me, the process can sometimes be downright painful. Yet ironically, if we take things objectively and professionally, it is one of the best means of self-improvement and personal development. If we can master the art of receiving constructive feedback, we can unlock a superpower: keys to a whole world of improvement possibilities and mature as a person. And in roles such as managerial positions - and even parenting - it’s an important component of our core responsibilities, so it’s worth putting in the effort to get better at it.  

Based on my learnings and experience so far, here’s sharing 7 strategies I've tried to adopt to get better at handling constructive feedback. Hope you find them useful!

1. Adopt a Growth Mindset 

Receiving feedback is like skill: it needs to be trained and developed. Just like talent, some of us might be terrible at it, and others might be great at it. But here’s the great news: Unlike some circumstantial situation like being born in Krypton, born to billionaire panrets or being bitten by a radioactive spider, this is one superpower than everyone can practice and develop. Just because we struggle at the discomfort doesn't mean we are locked into this state forever.

Look at ourselves as a work in progress. As we take active steps to incorporating feedback towards improving ourselves, we can begin to listen to feedback as referring to the “old version" of me, and open up possibilities of incorporating them and learning from it. 

    

2. Be humble 

When we hear tough feedback, there's always a temptation to be defensive, justify ourselves, blame others, or criticise the criticism itself. 

    

Why do we do this? 

    

Change - even if it's positive or constructive - is uncomfortable. By giving excuses & diverting the blame to others, it makes us feel good and stay in our comfort zone. 

    

In his book, Ego is the Enemy, author Ryan Holiday writes: “just one thing keeps ego around—comfort. Pursuing great work is often terrifying. Ego soothes that fear. It’s a salve to that insecurity.” 

    

True sincere growth cannot take place as long as Ego is in the way. Put ego aside, and be humble. Recognize that we are flawed and will always have room to improve. 

    

3. Perspective: they are Criticizing your work, not you (as a person)

When Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was on his mission of teaching Islam to the People, he faced immense criticism, hatred and opposition which caused him immense sadness. How could these people - my own beloved brethren and clansmen, used to love me dearly - be so mean to me? 

    

Knowing this pain he ﷺ is going through, Allah reveals this verse to comfort and remind him:

    

قَدْ نَعْلَمُ إِنَّهُ لَيَحْزُنُكَ الَّذِي يَقُولُونَ فَإِنَّهُمْ لَا يُكَذِّبُونَكَ وَلَٰكِنَّ الظَّالِمِينَ بِآيَاتِ اللَّهِ يَجْحَدُونَ

“We know indeed the grief which their words cause you (O Muhammad ﷺ ): it is not you that they deny, but it is the Verses (the Quran) of Allah that the oppressors deny.” (Surah Al-Anaam, 6:33)

    

Lesson to the Prophet ﷺ, and a lesson for us: When they criticize, don't take it personally. Consider these words as a critique against your WORK, not a critique against YOU as a person. 

    

4. Procrastinate thy emotional response - during the moment we listen to tough feedback, emotions are running high, and it can be tempting to impulsively react with a shotgun response in the heat of moment. We need to train ourselves to Hold off our kneejerk reactions. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said

    

إِنَّمَا الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الْأُولَى

“Verily, patience is at the first strike.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

    

If we can remain calm in the heat of the moment, we have the benefit of clear thinking and a rational mind, for us to…

    

5. “Consider Feedback as a gift” 🎁 - or rather, the bitter medicine or intense workout we need: short term pain for a long term gain. 

6. “Don't get mad, get Get curious” - a tip I heard in a podcast conversation: try to divert your emotional energy from anger to curiosity. Seek to  genuinely understand: What did they mean by that feedback? What did they see? Can my words or actions be misunderstood or interpreted differently? Curiosity diverts our efforts into problem solving mode instead of defensive mode.

    

In practice, what I also try to do is meet up with my mentors or trusted advisors, share the feedback to them and ask them about their thoughts and how I can implement this or learn from it. Talking about it puts a distance from over-personalising, and sets us up to be more objective to adopt the lessons from the experience.

    

7. Matter of perspective: Recognize Limitations - everyone is human. When people give feedback, it's only based on the limited windows of interaction they have with you, and sometimes only in that context. They observe you through their values, their own personal expectations, experiences, levels of competency, subconsciously benchmarking yourself to others they've worked with. And that is why, sometimes feedback can contradict each other: these are subjective experiences by different people at sometimes entirely different contexts.

    

What we want to have is the maturity to see through the noise, remove the emotion, be objective, and pick out the gems that will help us improve.

    

And those are my 7 strategies. Did you find them helpful? Any other useful tips? 

Share them down in the comments below!

Seven Powerful Lessons in Professionalism and Entrepreneurship, Adham @ Parang Lipis

 

As Adham took us through the whole forging and blacksmithing workshop at Lipis, Pahang, he also shared some profound wisdom and insights as to what got him into the business, what kind of efforts he put into, and what he aspires to achieve. Here are some cool nuggets of wisdom I've picked up in that short time we had together:

1. Growth Mindset - Contrary to my initial impressions and assumptions , Parang Lipis wasn't a family business brought down from generations. In fact it wasn't even an aspiration he had in his younger years. It was a recent ambition he set after learning about the craft. 

Adham in fact had an educational background in TESL: Teaching English as a Second Language. He could have pursued his profession on that path (in fact, he did already start off his career in the Middle East), but chose this direction instead. 

What sparked his interest in the field was his initiated his learning journey: in his initial days, Adham went on an expedition to visit and learn from 60 different blacksmiths from all over Malaysia, vlogging his journey initially for security reasons, venturing into unfamiliar territory (who knows what kind of characters he will meet!). What started off as security precautions, eventually earned a social media following and continued to encourage his growth journey. 

2. Be Objective & cut through the noise - When he first intended to start blacksmithing and entering the industry of knife-making, many discouraged him, some questioning "why throw away your professional career ahead of you" to enter a business that doesn't have much potential. Many people around him, out of good intentions, had warned him, if you pursue a business based on this kind of hard labor, there's not much money in it. 

But when he really studied the businesses out there, the supply-demand and numbers didn't seem to match that sentiment. Demand is there. But why don't these businesses survive? 

He observed a common pattern: mismanagement. 

When these skills weren't complimented with strong management, the blacksmiths don't get to fulfill their potential. 

"What if i could do better?"

It was then, he decided stepped up to initiate the business in year 2020. 

3. Be Proactive: During the pandemic era of COVID19, Adham observed that many of his friends and family were losing their jobs. This incident, coupled with the timing of his newfound skills, triggered the thought: perhaps I can create job opportunities for them?

He committed to it: some of his staff today were those retrenched or struggling for jobs from that era. 

 

4. Discipline to Push yourself out of your comfort zone - 

Okay , so we've formed a company, employed a few guys. Now, what? How do we push ourselves to break boundaries and thrive? 

In his own words, "it was at that moment, I told my then-girlfriend: let's get married. Now if I have responsibilities and a family to feed, that will push me and force me to find ways to thrive!" 

He wasn't going to settle down in his comfort zone. He knew, that to break through the perceived norms and achieve a higher level, he'd have to get uncomfortable: and instead of waiting for external factors for him to react to, he proactively pushed himself into that zone of discomfort. 

5. Carving a Niche - As he explained, those who enter the knife-making business either branch of between either of two: making Knives as an artwork, or knives as a tool. 

He chose to take the path of the latter: as a tool. Carving as an art, sure, you can sell the knives as a higher price and it's also got a cool edginess x-factor, but it's also more seasonal: whenever there's a trend, a viral sensation, mainstream media coverage, demand will spike for a short while, then die down. But manufacturing knives as a practical tool: a continuous, constant demand that can enable a more stable business for longterm sustainability that doesn't rely on trends. Now that's forward thinking 

6. Vision & Branding Strategy - When we first arrived, he asked us, "before I begin, I'd like to ask where did you hear about Parang Lipis?". Our honest answer was "our group leader organized this trip, we just followed her 😂", but we were also a bit perplexed at why he asked.. "Is this a big brand that we have been ignorant about?" 

As he later explained about the business after the tour, there were a lot of considerations about naming of the business before they arrived at "Parang Lipis". Most knife makers name their businesses from the names of their founders. But he wanted a brand that #1: customers would immediately know what their product was, and #2: one that would establish a branding of the local expertise (Lipis).

He had a broader vision: to make Lipis as the go-to place for Parangs, to the point where, whenever people associate the location of Lipis, the first thing that comes to mind is "Parang". And true enough, to some extent, its already happening: whenever the Sultan of Pahang comes to Lipis, he will ready his entourage to get a new Parang. 

7. Inclusiveness - I've always believed that the mark of a true professional is to be inclusive and welcome newcomers to the gold. Those who would love to see their profession expand, who welcome and celebrate newcomers, who aren't stingy with knowledge and generously share. 

And that's what Adham embodies and is passionate about: he invites more people to join in the craft, even if it's just as a hobby. What motivates him is his observation that this is a dying skill: Since his initial expedition learning from 60 blacksmiths, about seven of them have already passed away. 

Inspiring stuff! 

We wish him and pray for his continuous success and barakah (blessings), in this life and the next. 

Seven Powerful Lessons in Professionalism & Entrepreneurship — from Adham of Parang Lipis (LinkedIn writeup)

 

Located in Lipis, Pahang, Malaysia, we got the opportunity to meet and chat with Adham — founder of Parang Lipis — during a hands-on blacksmithing workshop. What started as a craft demo turned into a masterclass on vision, grit, and purpose.

Here are 7 lessons from his journey that deeply resonated with me:

1. Growth Mindset
Parang Lipis isn't a legacy family business. Adham studied TESL (teaching English as a 2nd Language), and began his career teaching abroad. Blacksmithing wasn’t in the plan — until he fell in love with the craft. He took a bold step: traveling across Malaysia to learn from 60 blacksmiths, vlogging for safety but gaining a following that fueled his journey.

2. Cut Through the Noise
Many discouraged him from leaving a “safe” professional path. But Adham studied the knife-making market — and found demand wasn’t the issue; poor management was. He asked himself: “What if I could do better?” That question became the foundation of Parang Lipis, launched in 2020.

3. Purpose-Driven Action
During COVID-19, he saw friends lose their jobs. With a new skill and an emerging business, he made a commitment: create job opportunities. Today, some of his team are those he uplifted from that period.

4. Discomfort Drives Growth
To push himself and his business beyond comfort zones, Adham made a bold move: "I told my then-girlfriend, let's get married."

He knew real responsibility would force him to grow. He didn’t wait for external pressures — he created his own.

5. Find a Sustainable Niche
Instead of chasing trends by making knives as an art, he focused on practical, high-quality tools with continuous demand. The strategy? Build long-term sustainability rather than riding short-term hype.

6. Visionary Branding
Most blacksmiths brand with their own names. Not Adham. He wanted people to immediately know two things: the product (Parang) and the origin (Lipis). His dream? Make Lipis synonymous with parang-making. It's already gaining ground — even the Sultan of Pahang stops by when he visits.

7. Generosity & Inclusiveness
Adham isn’t gatekeeping his craft. He actively invites people to learn — even as a hobby — to preserve a dying skill. Of the 60 blacksmiths he once learned from, 7 have passed away. He’s working to ensure their knowledge lives on.

An inspiring story of passion, strategy, and service. Wishing Adham and the Parang Lipis team continued growth, impact, and barakah 🤲🏼

# Entrepreneurship #Leadership #GrowthMindset #SmallBusiness #Malaysia #Craftsmanship #ProfessionalDevelopment #VisionaryLeadership

🔪 Forging a Parang

Yesterday we got a chance to visit Parang Lipis, where Founder Adham brought us through the entire process, from using blocks of scrap metal to a complete Parang. From a piece of steel taken off a vehicle's suspension spring and being forged into this versatile 12" blade. 

Was really interesting to see whole process! 

We used to see blacksmiths in movies and role playing games and it was really cool to see it firsthand, with the hammering part recalling memories of watching Tony Stark in the cave. My favorite part was to witness the Hardening, when the blacksmith would cool down the blade by dipping it in oil (or water) and this thick cloud of smoke would come off the blade.. Then the oil temporary re-ignited from the high temperature. So cool. 

Plus, I can finally appreciate what an anvil is used for and how blacksmiths make use of their shape. Cartoons like Road Runner always comically used anvils as a symbol of "something heavy", so seeing in person how it was used was a fun little enlightening moment, making sense of my childhood laughter at watching Wild E Coyote try to use these things to catch roadrunner, or get slammed by them (or both 🤣). 

Really interesting stuff! Gotta admire the craftsmanship and precision, underlying a thoughtful consideration of science and art, especially the passionate dedication of Adham in perfecting his craft, and the inspiring thoughts behind what made him get into manufacturing parang in the first place. Check it out!