Professionalism: Matt Damon's mindset and attitude when working in “bad movies” or roles that might suck

 

Oscar Nominee Matt Damon has starred in lots of excellent movie projects - Good Will Hunting, Saving Private Ryan, the Bourne franchise, the Martian, to name a few. 

He’s also starred in some pretty bad ones. 

What’s interesting is to learn his perspective about how he thought about starring in movies that he knows are going to be terrible. He once described a time he “fell into a depression” while filming a particularly regrettable movie project.

“Without naming any particular movies... sometimes you find yourself in a movie that you know, perhaps, might not be what you had hoped it would be, and you’re still making it,” he said.

“And I remember halfway through production and you’ve still got months to go, you’ve taken your family somewhere, you know, and you’ve inconvenienced them, and I remember falling into a depression and questioned: What have I done?” 

My wife pulled me up, she just said, ‘We’re here now’,” 

It was then, it reminded him: 

“You know, I do pride myself, in a large part because of her, at being a professional actor. 

And what being a professional actor means is you go and you do the 15-hour day and give it absolutely everything: even in what you know is going to be a losing effort.

“And if you can do that with the best possible attitude, then you’re a pro, and she really helped me with that.”

This is what professionalism looks like.

Sir Christopher Lee, the actor who played Count Dooku in Star Wars prequel trilogy, and Saruman in the Lord of the Rings franchise, once said, 

“Every actor has to make terrible films from time to time, but the trick is never to be terrible in them”

Like Matt Damon, we, too, might get bad “jobs”. The key: Never turn in a bad performance, working on them.

Ever got assigned roles which seem unremarkable or unappreciated? Maybe it’s writing the MOM, organizing the department team building, tedious contracting work, emceeing for yet another staff engagement session, or part of a “boring” task force.

Or sometimes your company or boss might assign you with cookie-cutter tasks or roles which aren’t particularly “sexy” or “glamorous”. They don’t necessarily rake in the profits, boost production, or seem worthy to appear on newsletters or intranet portals. 

Perhaps they’re the kind of assignments that make people go “meh” and question “so what?” Or tasks which you don’t like, disagree with, feel that it’s a “waste of time”, or perhaps, you’re just not excited or passionate about that work anymore. It just feels like spinning the wheels. The same mundane thing. SSDD - same stuff, different day.

Our tendency is, we become jaded, excessively cynical and just phone it in with minimal effort, just to tick off the box and get it over and done with. It becomes a venting topic at the water cooler, and we might even go on social media to whine about it and vent out our frustrations. 

Hallmarks of poor professionalism. 

In the words of Matt Damon’s wife: “you’re here now”. 

Put aside your ego and personal emotions, and instead, give it all you’ve got and commit to it with excellence & ihsan. Do it best, and move on. 

There’s a quote by Maya Angelou that says, 

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel”

Your attitude is a “live” CV, and firsthand demonstration of professionalism. People might not remember the magnitude or the contribution of the task. But people will remember the impression that your attitude left behind: How much integrity, workmanship, enthusiasm, and passion you put in, even though the task didn’t really seem all that fancy. 

Leaders with a keen eye can see that hidden potential: imagine if I actually gave this guy a flagship project. 

Team members who had the pleasure of working with you, would love to capture that same thunder again and would vouch for you, when the time comes: transfer proposals, vacancies, maybe even more? 

And that’s why, “bad movies” didn’t even cause a dent in Matt Damon’s career. He continues getting groundbreaking roles such as the 2024 Best Picture Oscar-winner Oppenheimer. 

Because he always gives it 100%, and gets back up like a boss.

And so should you.

How Allah Grooms Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to be the Greatest Leader of all time: Reflections from Surah Ad-Duha

 

During yesterday’s live discussion on The Barakah Effect we had a really insightful deep-dive on the topic, “Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You: Inspirations from Surah Ad-Duha”

On of the amazing takeaways of of Surah Ad-Duha is that it teaches us how Allah prepares the life of Muhammad ﷺ, and Sets him up - both internally and externally - to be the greatest leader of all time. 

Here are some of those aspects:

1. Self-Confidence & Assurance - Comforting words

2. Optimism - Better days ahead

3. Gratitude & Humility

4. Empathy & kindness

5. You, too, can achieve Success

Let’s break it down:

1. Self-Confidence & Assurance

In ayah #3, Allah says: 

مَا وَدَّعَكَ رَبُّكَ وَمَا قَلَىٰ ٣

“Your Lord (O Muhammad ﷺ) has neither forsaken you, nor does he Hate you.”

This surah was revealed at a time when revelation has briefly stopped. Angel Jibril had not come to the Prophet for a certain duration, and the people of Quraysh were attacking him with sarcastic gaslighting remarks, telling him, “I hope your devil has abandoned you” - supposedly masking her cynicism with “good intentions” of “hope”. As a human being with emotions, words like these hurt the feelings of the Prophet ﷺ. 

In life, you will undoubtedly face difficult times where feel incredibly lonely, facing self-doubt, begin questioning yourself, in times where seemingly nobody understands what you’re going through. As the final Prophet and Messenger, no one truly knows how it feels like to bear the burden of this responsibility, nor the hurtful words and difficult situations he has to go through. 

With this ayah, Allah reaffirms the heart of the Prophet - that his Lord hasn’t forsaken him, and certainly doesn’t hate him. 

Generally speaking, as we recite these verses, they are also a reassurance for the believers: Stick to your principles, even if - or rather, ESPECIALLY when - things get tough. 

If you are living by your principles as a believer, fulfilling your purpose in life by obeying the commandments of Allah, then know, that despite what might be apparent on the surface - the loneliness, the haters, and the self-doubt - continue to do the right thing, and stick to your values. 

Rest assured: your Lord will not forsake you, nor does He Hate you. 

In other words:

وَلَا تَهِنُوا۟ وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا۟ وَأَنتُمُ ٱلْأَعْلَوْنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ ١٣٩

“So do not become weak, nor be sad, and you will be superior if you are indeed (true) believers.” (3:139)

2. Optimism: Better days ahead

in Ayah #4, Allah says: 

وَلَلْـَٔاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكَ مِنَ ٱلْأُولَىٰ ٤

There are two ways we can translate and understand these ayah. Firstly, if we understand it literally, from a worldly perspective, it means “what comes later (in life), will be better than what comes before it (whether the present, or in the past).”

Secondly, it means “The Hereafter is better than the present life (in dunya)”. 

Both meanings are correct, and they ultimately culminate in one meaning to instil optimism in the Prophet ﷺ, and ultimately for us: Your best days are yet to come. 

It’s an affirmation of the Growth Mindset: Whatever challenges you go through today, is to prepare you, to shape you, to nurture you to becoming a stronger, more resilient person. Whatever difficulties you face today that are outside of your comfort zone, be patient: this too shall pass. And it’s only a matter of time until you adapt, you get better, and if you face this situation again in the future, it’s easy for you.

From the other perspective, this ayah talks about a very important life Principle, as Steven Covey labels as #2 out of the famous 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People: Begin with the End in Mind. 

Ultimately, even if things don’t necessarily improve, in the grand scheme of things, the life in this world is only a temporary existence. The true reward - the true success, true eternal happiness and settling down - lies beyond this life: in the Hereafter. 

And as long as you keep on this Straight Path, none of your efforts will go to waste. As He says in the following ayah,

وَلَسَوْفَ يُعْطِيكَ رَبُّكَ فَتَرْضَىٰٓ ٥

“And your Lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied.”

3. Gratitude & Humility

Allah then continues in ayah #6 - #8: 

أَلَمْ يَجِدْكَ يَتِيمًۭا فَـَٔاوَىٰ ٦ وَوَجَدَكَ ضَآلًّۭا فَهَدَىٰ ٧وَوَجَدَكَ عَآئِلًۭا فَأَغْنَىٰ ٨

“Did He not find you (O Muhammad ﷺ) an orphan and gave you a refuge?

And He found you lost and provided Guidance?

And He found you poor and made you rich (self-sufficient with self-contentment)?”

Here Allah reminds the Prophet of the favors He granted him - from his weak state of being an orphan, living without guidance, and living in poverty - and how Allah elevated him from all these adversities. 

It’s also worth noting, a little factual detail in sirah. On one hand, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was born of the noble family of Banu Hashim - being raised in an environment of leadership and nobility. Yet Banu Hashim wasn't wealthy, and was in difficult economic circumstances.: as a result, the Prophet ﷺ always had to pour in extra effort, even to help out the housechores of the family of his uncle and guardian, Abu Talib. So, he was conditioned to leadership and taking responsibility through those hard times.

And reciting this ayah, we can reflect this for ourselves, too:

Wasn’t there a time when we, too were weak and helpless? And how people around us had taken care of us, sheltered us, provided us guidance - Our parents, our teachers, our friends, our mentors? 

Wasn’t there a time when we knew nothing? Yet Allah had placed in our midst, guardians, teachers, friends, who paved the way for knowledge, showed us the path, enlightened us, elevated us from the life of ignorance?

For many of us, trying to lead righteous lives - wasn’t there a time when we lived a path of sins and disobedience? Didn’t we, too, have a past that we are ashamed of? How did Allah help us and bring us from that darkness into Light?

For many of us who are earning sustenance for ourselves and raising our family - wasn’t there a time when we were struggling to finish our studies, find a job, and struggle to earn a good livelihood? Haven't we all been struck and touched by those miracle moments? 

Here, Allah teaches His Prophet - and by extension, you and me - a lesson in Gratitude and Humility, to be a better person, a better leader, for the people around us. 

He reminds us,

وَأَحْسِن كَمَآ أَحْسَنَ ٱللَّهُ إِلَيْكَ 

“And do good (to others), just as how Allāh has done good to you.” (28:77)

Just as He was Generous and Kind with you, shouldn’t you, too, spread kindness and generosity with others? Shouldn’t you, too, play a role to help & elevate others, as others played a role in your life?

He also reminds us: None of this is done out of your own efforts. ALL of this was granted to you by Allah - even if you didn’t ask for it. There are many who don’t have half of the blessings that you have. And just has He granted it, He can also take it away. So don’t get arrogant, and never forget to attribute those Blessings to the One who granted it to you. 

Yes, Allah had elevated your situation and circumstance, but remember, there are many others who are still living in that state - perhaps even worse. Remember your humble origins.

And this ayah also reinforce the message of Optimism: If you're going through hard times, remember, there was a time when Allah elevated you in the past. And if He could do that back then, He could do it again in the future. Hang in there, buddy!

4. Empathy and Kindness

فَأَمَّا ٱلْيَتِيمَ فَلَا تَقْهَرْ ٩ وَأَمَّا ٱلسَّآئِلَ فَلَا تَنْهَرْ ١٠

“And as for the orphan, do not oppress. And for the beggar, do not repulse him.”

The Prophet ﷺ was raised in an environment of hardship: having lived, firsthand, his entire life as an orphan who couldn’t read or write. And until he was married to Khadijah, he was always living a life of difficulty and poverty. 

Knowing what it’s like to live in tough times, his upbringing conditioned him to have empathy for the underprivileged in society. Treat them with kindness. 

Sure, we might not necessarily have lived through the hardship that others, as the Prophet ﷺ himself went through. At least, acknowledge that we are ignorant and lack knowledge of their suffering, and have the humility to learn and empathize - to listen to them, put ourselves in their shoes.

By instilling these values to treat the “lower class” of society, by extension, Allah also trains us to have kindness and gentleness to the rest of society. 

In a materialistic community, people tend to be “nice” only to the upper class, yet they are mean and nasty to the weak of society such as the poor and the orphans. On a superficial level, it can difficult to be kind and gentle to people who seemingly can’t offer you anything “in return”, and therefore it can annoy people and make them uncomfortable confronting these underprivileged “nobodys”. 

Allah therefore Reminds us: Don’t stoop to that level. Be better than that. You’re not doing this for them: You’re doing this for Allah!

If you don’t want to give, you don’t have to be nasty while doing it. If you don’t want to give extra, then at least fulfill their rights. 

If you can condition yourself to practice kindness, gentleness and generosity, to the weak of society, then it’s a whole lot easier to be kind and gentle to others. 

 

5. You, too, can achieve Success

Ultimately, these verses remind us that the life of the Prophet should also instil hope that ANY of us can be successful in life. He was an orphan, poor, and illiterate. In those days, any one of these three elements would have been a major handicap against success. Yet, by the Mercy of Allah, He elevated the Prophet to becoming the greatest leader in the history of mankind. 

Even if we lack knowledge, are poor, or are underprivileged society, we have what it takes to achieve extraordinary success - if we put in the effort!

“Let’s Be the Change!” - Alumni sharing, Dynamic Leadership (DL) Cohort #18 kickoff, April 2024

Recently, I volunteered to give conduct a short sharing to the new participants under Dynamic Leadership (DL) - back in my day, it was called Managerial Excellence (ME). This course was designed for newly appointed managers over a course of 4-months, with a mix of in-person classroom sessions, virtual classroom, and assignments. To get participants fired up, during the virtual kickoff, organizers at PLC place a slot for DL alumni - past participants who’ve attended previous sessions - to address these new leaders & set the learning into context in relation to the organization’s aspirations. 

It was an excellent program, and so the moment I graduated from my ME course last November 2023, I immediately reached out to the PLC team - guys, let me be your alumni!

I’ve always wanted this opportunity to reach out to my fellow managers, to share some honest insights and hopefully inspire them throughout this journey.

Some key messages I shared: 

1. Congratulations! The organization has seen some qualities in you to deem you worthy to entrust you with handling and the most important resource of the organization: Our people. So let’s make it count

2. My own struggles as a new manager - the message I wanted to send to them was, it isn’t easy! I faced immense struggles right off the gate, and the challenges keep coming. Being overwhelmed, confronting impostor syndrome, questioning yourself if you’re doing the right thing, facing ruthless criticism, feeling hopelessly at a dead end.. if you’ve ever felt this way, I’ve got news: This is normal. 

    

Yes, it’s tough. 

    

But as a Leader once shared with us, “I have good news and I have bad news”. 

The bad news: It’s going to get TOUGHER. The good news is: You’re going to get BETTER. 

The key to thrive as a leader, isn’t to fret and lose hope, but rather, to embrace the future possibility that we will grow to adapt, and expand our abilities to handle greater challenges! 

    

3. Let’s BE the change: 

Let’s be honest. Chances are, some of us might have had (or are currently having) leaders who aren’t quite “model examples”. Maybe our leaders are poor listeners, don’t practice psychological safety, are terrible at giving, seeking or receiving feedback, lack the courage to act, just don’t care about our development, or bootlickers who “kiss up, kick down”.

    

Now, we can either look at this situation like whining cynical netizens, or we can step up to break the cycle, to do things differently. 

     

As our leader shared a recent townhall event: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. 

    

The company didn’t appoint us as leaders to perpetuate the problem. They appointed us to be part of the solution. 

    

Now that we are leaders, this is our chance to make a difference in our capacity. 

    

So, let’s step up, and BE that change: together.

We got this, guys!

“Perhaps I can give it a try?” - the Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

 “Perhaps I can give it a try?”

That was the first step triggered my entire experience volunteering as an MC. 

The year is 2012. Mufti Ismail Menk comes to Malaysia for the first time, in the event titled Mufti Menk Live in KL, MMKL2012.

A few days before the event. Logistics for the speaker, venue, ticketing, registrations, promotions. Ready. All good to go.

Only one problem. 

“Hey ermm… who's the Emcee?”

Silence. Followed by panic. We didn't have anyone. 

I considered: Perhaps I could give it a try?

Then, reality check: Whoa, why me? I’ve never done public speaking or debates back in school. I’m clearly not fit for the job.

But wait. We have time to prepare. Just come up with a script, memorize, read it well, and keep rehearsing. Leave a good impression for the organizers, that’s enough. Step up! 

I spoke up.

“Err.. perhaps I can try?”

A huge sound of relief can be heard in the meeting room, to fill up this much avoided task. 

Now, the task was simple enough: just introduce the speaker, introduce the event, welcome the audience, give a background of the organizers. 5 minutes, max. 

But for an introvert who isn’t a natural speaker, who wasn’t “born with the talent”, that was not easy! The prep time for those few minutes.. i spent more than 5 hours to prepare. Scripting, practicing, rehearsing, repeat. 

Fast forward, the next year in 2013: Mufti Menk comes back to KL. “Bro Faisal, can you become the MC again?”

One more time? For real? Hmm.. okay then. Perhaps, we can try to do even better. Improve a little bit more.

2014, repeat.

2015: The event gets upgraded to a full-blown convention: The Straight Path (TSP). Adding speakers such as Dr. Muhammad Salah, Sheih Saeed Rageah, Abdul Rahim Green. Wow, big event. 

“Bro Faisal - can you be our emcee?”

Gulp. No way. One talk, sure. But a convention? That’s totally different level!

Okay. Another opportunity to challenge ourselves. Let’s give it a try. 

Alhamdulillah, I get invited to the next TSP. And the next. And since then, I’ve become the emcee every year. Every event, an opportunity to improve, and opening more doors, as stepping stones to something greater in meeting new people, experiencing new events. 

Now, 12 years later, in 2024, I was invited to become emcee for the very first Perlis International Sunnah Convention (PISC), masha Allah.

The reason I’m writing this isn’t to tell you how “great” I am. Quite the opposite. I really just a normal guy who doesn’t have any “talent” in public speaking. Over the years, I slowly learn, slowly develop. But it all starts with the courage to take that first step.

The reason I’m writing this is a rally call for my friends out there to step up. Be the change you want to see. Seize the opportunities as they come, because they may never come again. Step out of your comfort zone, to try new things and tackle new challenges. Dare to fail, keep improving. 

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

“Cuba je.. mana la tahu” - menjadi Emcee PISC2024

 

Demikianlah titik permulaan saya dalam pengalaman sebagai emcee sukarelawan. 

Tahun 2012. Mufti Ismail Menk datang ke Malaysia pada kali pertama: Mufti Menk Live in KL, MMKL2012.

Beberapa hari sebelum event: Semua dah bersedia. Logistik utk speaker, selesai. Venue, settle. Tiket, sistem pendaftaran, promosi.. good to go. 

Satu je masalah.

“Chup.. korang takde emcee ke?”

“Eh.. yelah…!”

Habis semua panic. Korang kenal tak, siapa2 brothers yg boleh jadi MC? 

Silence. Loud sigh: Payah betul cari emcee melayu lelaki yang berbahasa inggeris. Rare species. 

Aduh.. Jam. Macam mana ni? 

Kemudian, saya terfikir: Sampai bila kita nak mengeluh “susah nak cari emcee melayu yg cakap English”?

Mungkin saya boleh try..?

Eh, sat sat… takkan aku kot.. aku tak pernah ada pengalaman emcee. Tak pernah public speaking atau berdebat waktu zaman sekolah. Bagi la orang lain. Don't make a fool out of yourself, bro. 

Tapi, terfikir: Ada masa nak prepare. Just buat skrip, hafal, baca dengan baik.. peluang untuk leave a good impression.. cukup ah. Try la. Cabar diri sikit, luar comfort zone. Mudahkan penganjur.. Jadi spare tire. At least ada la bidan terjun ready untuk islamic. Lepas ni takde la pening kepala sangat cari Emcee. Apa kata kita buat something crazy: step up and be the change we want to see? 

Faisal: “err.. I boleh cuba?”

Kedengaran suasana lega dalam bilik mesyuarat. Happy. Akhirnya ada orang step up buat kerja yang orang tak mau.

Waktu tu, tugas saya sempoi je. Setakat introduce speaker, introduce to event, background tentang penganjur.. saya kira, 5 minit je max. Tapi cuak weh.. saya ambik masa lebih daripada 5 jam untuk prepare. Tulis skrip, praktis, rehearse, ulang, praktis, ulang.

Fast forward tahun seterusnya, 2013: Mufti Menk datang lagi. “Bro Faisal, boleh jadi Emcee lagi?”

Oh, jemput saya one more time? Biar benar. Masha Allah. Okay, ni peluang saya buat lagi bagus. Cuba improve sikit lagi. 

2014, Mufti datang. Jemput saya lagi. Okay, cuba improve lagi. Prep time reduce dari 5 jam ke 3 jam. 

2015: Acara dinaiktaraf kepada tahap konvensyen: The Straight Path (TSP). Menambah penceramah lain seperti Dr. Muhammad Salah, Sheikh Rageah, Abdul Rahim Green. Wow. Big event. “Bro Faisal, boleh jadi Emcee?”

Gulp.. bair benar. Konvensyen? That's a totally different level. Okay2. Bro cuba.

Alhamdulillah, dijemput lagi TSP seterusnya. Semenjak TSP yang pertama tersebut, setiap tahun saya jadi emcee. Setiap acara, saya improve, dan setiap acara, laksana batu loncatan, satu per satu membuka pintu baru, kenalan baru, dijemput emcee event lain. 

Sehingga lah kini.. 12 tahun kemudian, tahun 2024. Dikurniakan peluang, dijemput menjadi emcee untuk Perlis International Sunnah Convention (PISC) yang pertama, 2024. masha Allah. 

Tujuan saya menulis ni bukanlah nak cakap saya hebat. Quite the opposite. Saya ni tak pandai pun. Over the years, slowly belajar. Tapi segalanya bermula dengan memberanikan diri mengambil langkah pertama.

Tujuan penulisan ini adalah sebagai pengajaran bagi sahabat2 lain untuk step up. Be the change you want to see. Seize opportunities. Step out of your comfort zone to try new things and tackle new challenges. Dare to fail, keep improving.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

🎤 Exposed: My Experience Working with Amin Idris

Alhamdulillah, Perlis International Sunnah Convention 2024 (PISC2024) last weekend opened up an opportunity to be working and collaborating with brother Amin Idris for the first time, sharing the stage as co-MC’s. 

I've always wondered: how is it like to be co-Emceeing with an actual professional?

So, in this post, I am going to expose: How it's really like to work with the one and only Amin Idris.

In short: He’s a consummate professional, both on and off-stage, and an absolute joy to work with. 

Masha Allah, Allahumma barik.

Here is what I’ve learnt:

1. Dedication - the day before the event, he was shooting for a program in KL that ended 11pm before driving from KL to Perlis, spending the whole night road tripping (by himself!) arriving at 7am on the day of the event, and immediately started. 

But you can't tell. He shows up hitting the ground running, giving 100% like any other day.

Throughout the event, he's always alert, keen to receive instructions, being flexible for changes, and unlike some MC's I've worked with in the past, he doesn't abandon his post; always there, even during my slots.

Every time I express my amazement at his work ethic, he'll brush it off with some phrase like "kerja bro" or some dismissive excuse like "takut dengan Mufti” 🤣 .

In other words: That's the job.

2. Collaboration as MC. 

This event is the first time I've had a partnering Co-Emcee for an Islamic convention - let alone with a well-known public figure and professional speaker - and being the underdog volunteer, admittedly I was very nervous going in. Am I going to look foolish up there against this certified pro?

Should I just render myself irrelevant, take a step back and just let Amin dominate the stage?

Surprisingly, it wasn't like that at all. Working with him has been a very pleasant collaborative experience. I immediately felt we clicked with chemistry on the get go: We would exchange ideas & suggestions, seek and fully support each other's ideas. Onstage, he would always encourage me & open up space to speak, keep the momentum going, and help trigger my talking points when it appears I might have forgotten or shut down 😅

3. Handle Criticism like a Champ - 

As he just learned for the first time (and I've personally experienced), having Sheikh Assim as a panelist is very scary, if you're the Moderator. Be prepared to take a jab or two at your questions! But Amin handled it well, laughing it off with constructive remarks, even inviting Sheikh to "tease him some more" (by which Sheikh Assim happily responded, "no problem").

Amin shared that in the past, when he gave one of the speakers the indication of Times Up, the speaker called him a "dajjal" for "stopping the da'wah". Ouch!

But just as he does with the netizens commenting on his pages, he takes it like a champ and moves on. And this is something we should all learn from. 

Being able to stay cool while handling criticisms requires professionalism, humility and self-confidence. 

4. Akhlaq - I think this is my favorite aspect working with him. He's always got this aura of likeability: very welcoming, friendly, humble, accommodating and inclusive. Having conversations with him can make you feel like old buddies even though we just knew each other. The more I hang out with him, the more I’m inspired - from his origins of writing books at a young age, to his journey achieving 100k subscribers on YouTube, to him never missing his daughter’s sports events until this event (”sebab takut Mufti”)

Beyond that, he doesn’t discriminate his akhlaq, where it's a shaykh, or some random strangers requesting a selfie. 

I honestly feel that this is his underlying drivers of success: his offline akhlaq, coupled with his professional ethic and commitment, that always leaves people with a good impression. Because they enjoy working with him, people call him back to collaborate, therefore continuously creating opportunities and allowing him to always push his limits towards improving.

This reminds me of one of the previous PETRONAS Cultural Beliefs: Nurture Trust. 

Come for the professional services & work ethic, stay because of the akhlaq.

Sorry Amin, terlebih puji sikit. Best kerja ngan hang. It's been an honor & pleasure, my bro.

Semoga dpt peluang bekerjasama lagi (PISC2025 let's GO?)

🏙️ Dunya is a Prison for the Believer

 

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said,

الدُّنْيَا سِجْنُ الْمُؤْمِنِ وَجَنَّةُ الْكَافِرِ
“This worldly life is a prison for the believer and Paradise for a disbeliever.”
(Muslim #2956)

When I first heard of this hadith, it kind of confused me. Why is this world a prison? As Muslims, are we expected to live a life of suffering?

It turns out the meaning is much deeper, and in fact, a lot more inspiring and motivating than that when we see it from the right perspective.

Once, the scholar al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani was walking through a market. At the time, as the Qadi, he was with his entourage riding a great, beautiful and magnificent animal mount. Suddenly a Jewish man, who is a flaxseed oil seller (i.e. one who lived in very poor and harsh conditions) came running towards him. The Jew was wearing an old worn out and dirty shirt.

He grabbed and stops the mule Ibn Hajar was riding and said: “Oh Shaykh al-Islam! You claimed that your prophet said: “The world is prison for a believer and paradise for a disbeliever,”

Then, in what way are you imprisoned and how am I in paradise right now?”

Ibn Hajar responded:

“If I was to compare the blessings Allah has promised for me in paradise in hereafter, then it is as if I am in prison right now!

While for you, if you want to compare your situation right now with what has been promised for you in hereafter, it is as if you are in paradise right now.”

Then, the Jewish man embraced Islam.

(Narrated in Faid al-Qadir (3/546))

What an amazing, honorable response. When we understand this hadith through the lens of iman - especially belief in the Last Day - it becomes a powerful motivational reminder of the nature of life in this world.

Here are six major life lessons we can learn from the Hadith, of the perspective on the life of this world:

1. Delayed gratification - be patient. The BEST is yet to come, in the Hereafter.

Imam al-Nawawi said the hadith means that by virtue of following the shari'ah, every believer is imprisoned and prevented in this world from prohibited and makruh (undesirable) desires. Every mukallaf Muslim (i.e. those who have reached maturity and therefore is accountable for his deeds) is commanded to be in complete obedience. However, when he dies - once he is released from this prison - he will no longer have to bear this responsibility. This will entirely change, where Allah SWT promised eternal and true blessings, leisure and comfort where it will forever increase without decreasing even a little. As for disbelievers, they are able to attain some sort of worldly comfort in this life. However, when he dies, he will be forever punished and be in eternal suffering. (Al-Minhaj, 93/18).

Yes, in this life as Muslims, Allah has placed on us restrictions, limitations and must practice restraint to obey His Commandments. And in that sense, it is as if we are in a prison. But the hadith reminds us that the true reward - Paradise - awaits after we depart from this world. Death is actually a form of release, a freedom from these restrictions.
   
The Prophet ﷺ described that a brief moment in paradise is  enough for us to forget ALL the suffering we faced in this worldly existence.
   
Rejoice and be optimistic for what's waiting for you on the other side, in the Hereafter, after you break free from this prison!
   
2. Lowering expectations - It's not supposed to be comfortable!

Prison, like the life of this world, is only a temporary transit phase, so expect it to be uncomfortable and difficult.

Allah also says   
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ فِي كَبَدٍ
”Verily, We have created man in difficulty and hardship”.(Surah Al-Balad, 4)
  
   
3. Don't get attached - The Prophet ﷺ said, “be in this world like a traveler, or a wayfarer” (Al-Bukhari).
Just like the guarantee of death, you (and everyone else) will definitely get out of this prison of dunya! The allure of this world, with its riches and its enjoyment, is indeed very tempting, and it’s easy for us to get lost in the pursuit of attaining these, at the expense of the big picture of our success Hereafter. Whatever limited resources you have in this prison, practice generosity and share those limited blessings to others (i.e. your fellow inmates!), because you will leave your possessions behind anyway. It’s just a matter of time.

4. Defects of worldly pleasures - To a disbeliever, this entire worldly life IS the life. YOLO. Because they don't believe in the concept of accountability of the Last Day, the idea is to enjoy this life to the fullest: hence why the Prophet ﷺ describes it as a "Paradise for the disbeliever".

The believer, on the other hand, recognizes that the life of this world is only a testing ground, the pleasures of this world are designed to be fundamentally defective. No matter how beautiful or enjoyable the pleasures may be, they will always be imperfect. Food, wealth, possessions, fame, entertainment - there’s always a “catch”. Either it’s flawed, gives some unwanted side effects, or will simply deteriorate over time. But the reward in the Hereafter is perfect and everlasting - so keep your eyes on the Prize!

5. A place of reform - As we’ve witnessed in real-life scenarios, many people change for the better, when they are in prison. Thousands of prisoners have reformed themselves, turned to Allah and reverted to Islam while they are incarcerated. Why? Prison allows a unique opportunity: isolation and quiet, which can be difficult amidst the hustle-and-bustle and rat race of society. When we have more time in isolation by ourselves, it gives us moments of opportunity to reflect. To reconnect with our purpose, prioritize our lives.

What can we learn from this?
Firstly, make time for quiet reflection in your own life: whether it is for self-accounting (muhasabah) and repentance, opening up your hearts to Allah in du’aa, or contemplation (tadabbur) of the ayaat (verses) of the Qur’an. Don’t wait until you get to prison to change! Secondly, it’s not prison itself that changes them, because the reality is, there are also many other prisoners who become worse in prison. We need to make the conscious CHOICE and take action to change!

6. Gratitude - If this “prison” of yours is comfortable, then be grateful and content! We should realize that for many of us, QaddarAllah, out of Allah’s Mercy and Kindness, He has granted us very comfortable lives above millions of others across the world. The Prophet ﷺ reminded us that “Whoever among you wakes up secure in his property, healthy in his body, and he has his food for the day, it is as if he were given the entire world!” (at-Tirmidhī #2346), Just watch the news and the state of the world that we are in today in the 21st century: Even basic pleasures is a privilege that many other fellow human beings weren’t granted. Even though prison is supposed to be difficult and uncomfortable, we get it much easier than so many others. Don’t waste this beautiful privilege!

Finally, one might ask - does this mean that when you embrace Islam, you are choosing to be imprisoned?

Here's the perspective we should see it: Having belief & embracing Islam isn't a matter of "choosing" to be be imprisoned; rather, it's to realize that we already ARE living in one.

Presentations: Are they important, or just a nuisance?

 

Back when we first started working as fresh graduate engineers, we tend to disregard the importance of presentations, and kind of considered them a nuisance or an unnecessary inconvenience. It’s just a presentation, right? It’s the technical content that counts - Not all those aesthetic bells & whistles!

Some of us would meet immense frustrations, purely because of a 20-minute presentation that was rejected by a tough chairman, committee or leadership team - and just like that, all of those months - even years - of hard work, all in vain.

Sometimes, it would baffle us how people used to take long distance flights just to make a 20 minute presentation. We used to think “What a waste of money!”

Over the years, however, I’ve learnt to see things differently & appreciate the importance of Effective presentations. 

If you think about it, it’s these 20 minutes - that limited window which you have an audience with the key decision makers - that can make or break your hard work. All those months of effort culminates in that single, defining, moment. 

These precious few minutes aren’t a nuisance - they are the tip of your spear! These moments may be the single most important portion of the project / assignment: and that's why, it demands your full dedication & effort for you to stick the landing!

I’ve learnt to see the importance of presentations like that of being a 100m sprinter an the Olympics. Athletes train for years - decades - of their lives to make this event. And once they ACTUALLY make it to the grand event of the Olympics, they’ve only got a couple of rounds (i.e. “heat” rounds) to reach the quarter final.

How long does each heat last? An olympic level sprinter would take around 10-15 seconds. 2 heats to determine if they make it to the finals. 

All that training, all condensed into those precious 20-30 seconds. Years of hard work, and less than half a minute of actual performance to prove themselves. 

And if they lose? 

Bye bye Olympics. 

To me, that’s how important presentations are to our projects or proposals. 

So, make it count!

That’s why I’m personally very passionate about improving the quality of our presentations, and conducted a knowledge sharing on “Bulletproof Presentations: Tips How to Effectively Deliver Technical & Management Proposals”. I’ll always put in extra effort and go the extra mile to polish and even rehearse my content. 

How effectively we condense, re-frame, and concisely convey to our leaders, our mannerisms and etiquettes in communication, the way we answer questions - all of those MATTER. 

Rather than blame the bosses for understanding, we should take up the onus to focus on what’s in our control: How can I make the content more digestible to position our chairman, the leaders and the committee to make a clearer, more informed decision? How can I improve and incorporate that extra dash of excellence / ihsan to my presentation?

📚Family book picnic day with Tadika Astana @tadikaastanamiri @ Esplanade Luak Beach, Miri

Today Abah did a storytelling for Muawiyah and his J2 class friends, reading from the lovely book, The Rainbow Fish 🌈🐠. 

Admittedly I was feeling very nervous, having done this the first time with other kids. I wonder how it felt like for them, seeing this huge bearded uncle tell a story about a beautiful lonely fish who wanted friends 😅. 

Alhamdulillah am happy to have had a chance to interact with Muawiyah and his friends. There's nothing quite like that warm fuzzy feeling of satisfaction in bringing happiness to kids 😊😍. (Well, at least I hope I did 😂)

Storytelling to kids: that was in fact one of my action plans to improve my public speaking skills. 

I remember when I was emceeing for the first Straight Path TSP Convention in 2015, Sheikh Abdul Rahim Green told me backstage:

"You should be a speaker. Here's a tip you can practice to further improve your public speaking: conduct storytelling with children."

Oh? Why children, Sheikh?

"You see, conducting a halaqah is easy. Adults have the discipline, attention span and maturity, especially if they want to learn. 

Children have low attention span, and give immediate, honest feedback (zoning out when they're bored)!" 

So, if can excel at keeping children engaged and sustain their attention, and keep yourself motivated when they zone out, then you know youre doing something right 😄

Hope I did okay for my first time, and here's hoping for more opportunities in the future. Allahumma barik 🤲🏼

👣 What Legacy do you want to leave behind? My Knowledge Sharing Aspirations 💡

 

Back when we were starting out as fresh graduate process engineers, we were struggling to understand the basics how to do our work. We didn’t have senior engineers or TP’s, overwhelmed by standards and guidelines with no idea how to use them, and our competency development was a slog.

Thankfully, somewhere along the way, we managed to get our hands on something known as “Haji Nik’s slides”.

Haji Nik, a process manager from another region, had prepared a collection of simplified process engineering notes, organized by subjects and easy to understand. These slides were immensely useful and became our favorite references! Whenever assessment time would come (ahh ACD, those were the days…) we would whoop out the Haji Nik slides, going thru them together to prepare.

Haji Nik has already retired, and although I only met him a few times and never had the privilege to attend any of his sharing / classroom sessions, I always viewed Haji Nik as a Legend. An inspiration, motivating me for years to come, charting my personal aspiration of the legacy I want to leave behind: If I ever get promoted to manager, I want to be a leader that has left the workplace a better place. Leave behind content and knowledge that’s useful and beneficial for others young engineers to develop, while simultaneously inspire them to also share with others, in the hopes that they, too can carry the torch and inspire others, making the workplace better for others, long after we are gone.

I took it to heart. Throughout the years, Alhamdulillah I’ve conducted dozens of knowledge sharing sessions, ranging from technical engineering content (separator adequacy, life cycle cost analysis, HAZOP best practices), islamic knowledge (e.g. Life and Leadership Lessons from Surah Yusuf), productivity (personal knowledge management / building your competency Time Capsule), communication (how to deliver Bulletproof Presentations), career development (TMTP personal journey / how to obtain Chartered Engineer certification), and yes, even fitness 😂.

All of these sessions were voluntary, not done out of compulsory “development gaps” or meeting KPI.

Why bother?

Once, our boss asked us, in what seemed like sarcastic undertones: “you guys have so much time on your hands to do these sharing, kah?”
i.e. “so free, meh?” 😏

Immediately, I just straight up said, “we MAKE time.”

So, here’s the thing. The truth is, sharing knowledge demands a lot of effort. A 1-hour session can take up to 5 hours of research, compilation, slide preparation, editing, scripting and rehearsing (yes, I still need to do those).
My recent knowledge sharing on Phase Behavior (which lasted 2.5 hrs) took at least 10-20 hours of prep. My philosophy is, If people are going to spend time and valuable manhours to listen to you, put in the effort to make it worth it.

Preparing for these sessions requires me to spend hours at night, over weekends, during break times.

So to me, it isn’t about “finding free time”. It’s about making time, of putting in the deliberate effort to invest in a higher purpose, a cause greater than yourself.

Tying it back to the big picture: Our Purpose in Life.

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “When a person dies, all of his deeds are cut off, except for three: a recurring charity, knowledge which is continued to be benefitted from, and a righteous child who continues praying and supplicating for a parent” (Muslim)

For Muslims, we consider working - earning halal income to provide for ourselves and our family - a form of worship (ibadah). And to create content that HELPS others to improve their work is a form of facilitating this act of worship.

I'd like to hope that somewhere along the way, I could leave my own trail of "Haji Nik slides" to help others, with content that  continues benefitting them even after I go.

If you want to strive for a higher purpose, you can’t "find time". You MAKE time.

Those hours on weekends, burning the midnight oil: Totally worth it ❤️

If you’re serious about sharing knowledge, start now in ANY capacity that you are available. Utilize whatever platforms that you have, even if it’s just a personal interactions. Don’t wait until you become a manager. It’s not like when you get promotion, all of a sudden you magically flip a switch and become inspired to share. Kita ni bukan Neo in the Matrix - “I know Kung Fu”.

If you don’t start sharing knowledge now, what makes you think you will do it later, when you are more busy, have more responsibilities on your hands? You have even more legitimate excuse.

When you get into the habit, then the leadership responsibilities only amplify your reach even more.

These are two thoughts I always audit myself:

Knowledge is a trust. An Amanah. A privilege that Allah grants you. What will you do with that trust? You will be questioned for your knowledge, as you will be for your wealth - what answers do you have?

After all, professionals come and go. Achievements will be rejoiced, then forgotten. At the end of the day, what legacy will YOU leave behind, after you go?

TP Sharing Session - Understanding Hydrocarbon Phase Envelopes & How they affect Upstream Process & Operations (28 Nov 2023, MTeams): Be the Change.

 

Alhamdulillah, today I was granted the opportunity to conduct a Knowledge sharing session, on Phase Behavior.

The topic of hydrocarbon phase envelopes are one of the most important underlying concepts that are the bread and butter of upstream process engineering. Once I understood this concept, a lot of operational problems started to make more sense, seeing them through a new lens. Wet gas, crude stabilization, sampling problems, CV flashing, PVT fluid characterization - suddenly, they began to click!

But throughout the years, I realized that although there were lots of training materials, classroom sessions and textbooks on the subject, I've never really found many resources that fleshed out the topic from the perspective of practical application in day-to-day operational challenges. For many of us, we learnt the concept through trial and error (mostly error), and we didn't really understand the "big picture" of how they were related. I've always thought, wouldn't it be nice if we had training material that linked these concepts together in our daily work? 

Then it dawned on me: Create our own content lah, bro!

 

Now that I'm in a position of experience, have some knowledge and a platform to share, might as well seize the opportunity: Stop whining, step up & be the change we want to see. To carve out the kind of content that we wished we learnt back in our early years and boost the development of those around us. 

I challenged myself to go one step further: Simplify the concepts and make it easy enough so that even non-engineers (like HR or Finance) could also understand and appreciate. Just as Albert Einstein used to say, "you do not really understand something, unless you can explain it to your grandmother"

The session went a bit over time, at 2.5 hours, but Alhamdulillah we got an overwhelmingly positive participation, with over 150 participants joining the session.

Hope the participants found it beneficial. May Allah make it a source of barakah and benefit for others.

SKG16.3 Community of Practice (COP) Final Gathering 2023

 

It was our turn as Sarawak (Gas) Assets region as tuan rumah, to host the final gathering of the year for our Community of Practice for Process Technology fraternity.

I have always supported the idea of COP gatherings in professional circles: By practitioners, for practitioners.
It's a platform to share our lessons learnt, best practices, successes, challenging each other and sparking ideas within the fraternity to try out new approaches, rethink our existing practices, and explore new methods and ideas. It's particularly inspiring when the community makes the time and shows courage to step up and actualize this - as we witnessed in this gathering.

We received excellent participation by all regions and center from IVA and OE, with process technical paper sharing from all regions PMA, SBA, and SKA covering wide range of interesting and practical topics from Dynamic simulation for process safety assurance, and meeting customer demand pipeline survival time during TA, Condensate Recovery system technology selection, Cooling System challenges, and Gas Turbine Generator (GTG) Optimization philosophy.

As the host and organizers, our team did a few little tweaks to enhance the overall experience for presenters and attendees alike to increase the engagement and enthusiasm throughout the learning experience:
 
1. Feedback forms for every presenter - we opened up feedback channels by making customized feedback forms for every presenter, to share their ratings and appreciative/constructive feedback. This allows audiences to play an active role to share their thoughts, for participants to gauge their performance for continuous improvement, and add a dash of competitiveness between presenters.

2. Awards - We introduced three categories of awards: Best paper presentation (by judges), the People's Choice Award (for the highest rated paper, as rated by the attendees in the feedback forms), and Best Participant (for active participants asking questions and contributing to others)

3. Managers as Emcee - To demonstrate our passionate commitment to the event and go the extra mile as hosts, the two process managers from Sarawak (myself & Ee) became the Emcees throughout the event.

4. Special tokens ☕ - As long-term memoirs, we provided custom-made mugs for presenters, game winners, and judges. (Man, wish I had one of those 🤤)

Really proud of the team for the successful event. Although we are only a small fraternity of 30-plus - among the smallest in the organization - the community is so active that we achieved among the top performing COP's in the whole PETRONAS.
With communities like these, it builds a solid foundation for us to collectively build sustainable competency development platform: to help each other grow, constantly grooming new experts without having to depend on specific individuals.

Keep up the awesome work! ❤️

Leadership discussion and COP with Senior Engineers: Being the Change we want to see

Recently, we organized an open discussion with the senior engineers in our department to have an open leadership conversation to share our challenges, and best practices as seniors. 

Recalling my previous years, one of the struggles I faced when I was promoted to senior engineer was, "what are my roles as a senior?"

How do I delegate tasks? How do I balance between "taichi" of washing my hands off from responsibility vs. "micromanaging" by being too overbearing?

How do I deal with juniors who refuse to share information or their work, out of fears that I will hog their glory?

And how about development? Am I expected to teach them? How do I draw the line between "spoon-feeding" versus "hands off"? Can I just use the "sink of swim" philosophy and refuse to teach them, out of the excuse of letting them "develop faster"? 

I'm still learning myself - I'm not qualified to teach or to coach. But I'm "expected" to; Now what?! 

Perhaps, should I start adopting "grumpy old man" sentiments: Are these "new generation" of people so manja that they need us to hold their hands?

How do I manage my OWN deliverables, capability development and performance, on top of all this supervision burdens? 

These were not easy questions, and none of them have straightforward solutions. No one provides coaching or training - so you kind of have to figure it out, through a constant battle of trial and error. Sometimes, I had some success (or at least I'd like to think so), and sometimes, I fell flat on my face, messed up bigtime. 

I knew that if I had to go through these struggles, I'm sure there are others who are going through the same. And we can't leave it up to chance or the person's individual capacity to just "figure it out" and expect to magically have quality leaders. 

I told myself, one day, if I ever be a manager, I would put in focused effort to facilitate the guidance & development of future leaders.

Provide the soft skills guidance I never had (and I wish I did). Be the change I've always wanted to see. 

Well, that day has come. Time to walk the talk. 

Hence we organized this session to discuss and iron out these challenges. But the plot twist was to do it as a team, not just individual 1-on-1. Create a community of practice to hear and learn from each other. Admittedly, I was super nervous at the idea, not knowing how it would turn out. Would it backfire and turn into a townhall mob? Would the seniors protest out of frustration of adding up more responsibility to an already heavy workload? 

To my delight, the session went really well. Many of them shared some really good insights; some of the challenges they faced, and how they developed the courage to delegate and collaborate, without the awkwardness of competing with each other. 

Some of my favorite highlights I heard from the team:

1. Delegation mindset: "if i micromanage the calculations / simulations, i am robbing the juniors from the opportunity to learn & do"

2. "Kita semua cari makan. Tak payah nak selfish" - Early on, discuss what is the expectations towards each other. Clear roles what to do. Mutually agree, who leads what, who claims what in performance appraisals. Be proactive; don't just wait for management directions. 

3. Keep up a regular and consistent (e.g. weekly) habit of communicating with each other to build trust: To know each other better to understand their strengths, gaps, and capabilities so you can comfortably delegate.

4. Learn from our juniors too! Everyone has their own strengths

5. Allow them to opportunities to lead presentations (even our own tasks), while actively supporting them if they receive questions: this builds self-confidence AND trust with us, knowing they are supported.

A major lesson here is that Rank equals responsibility. When we chase that promotion, we cannot just think of our own selfish needs. As you rise, more people will depend on you. And it's up to you to take responsibility and step up. 

You don't automatically become better leaders by rising up in ranks. Or else you will be repeating the same mistakes, only at higher ranks. You need to make a conscious choice to improve, to change, and to make a difference - not just repeat the cycle. 

I learnt a lot from the session, and I'm glad everyone had that safe space to share these practices, to listen and learn from each other. 

I don't know how effective it will be down the road, but  I would like to think - and hope - that we have planted a small seed towards crafting a better tomorrow, insha Allah. 

The Prophet ﷺ said,

"Each of you is like a shepherd, and each of you is responsible - and will be questioned - for your flock. 

A leader is responsible for his people - and he will be questioned about them." (Al-Bukhari)

9 tips to Develop Professional Resilience to Handle Tough Criticism and Feedback (~5 min read)

 

Earlier this week I attended a meeting which I faced some pretty intense criticism. 

It was tough, but it was a valuable learning experience that really got me to realize:

One of the most important life skills and aspects of professionalism we have to train ourselves is to develop the patience and resilience to handle professional criticism, tough judgment from the mob of netizens, and good 'Ol fashioned "bashing by the chairman"

The professional and business environment can be harsh, and even more so in social media. Therefore, if we don't learn the right mindsets and attitudes to confront these uncomfortable situations, it can be paralyzing when we take criticism too personally and dwell on it.

But how can we develop it? Especially us sensitive Malaysians? 

Based on my learning and experience, here is sharing some personal guidelines, 9 tips and mindsets I try training myself on how to handle harsh criticisms and develop professional resilience:

1. Keep calm and "Procrastinate" your emotional response - If you feel emotionally compromised, due to anger, shame or hopelessness in the moment that can derail your rational mind from being objective, then just refrain yourself from saying anything. Don't allow your emotional self to act or blurt out things that you will regret, feel embarrassed or obliged to apologize later on. Just pretend to be patient and hold yourself together long enough, until you find the private space, to proceed to #2. 

The Prophet said, "Whoever tries to be patient, Allah will make him patient" (Al-Bukhari) 

"Do not say anything for which you will have to apologize for " (ibn Majah) 

2. Embrace and process those hard emotions (it helps to have compassionate and supportive company by your side), take your time, but don't dwell on it too long. Then close that book, and move on for good. 

Whatever undesirable outcome that happened, consider it as a closed chapter in your book that we learn and take lessons from, so don't carry grudges or emotional baggage. That situation was to educate us, so use it to be wiser, not bitter. 

3. Nothing personal: Separate "me" from "my work" - This is important. Always Reframe the criticism to think of it as a critique against your work, and not you as a person. The criticism does not degrade the value your personal self worth. Neither is it a personal declaration of war or hostility against you. 

This was, in fact, a reminder that even Allah consoled His Prophet, Muhammad ﷺ as he endured being mocked by his own tribesfolk throughout his lifetime:

قَدْ نَعْلَمُ إِنَّهُ لَيَحْزُنُكَ الَّذِي يَقُولُونَ فَإِنَّهُمْ لَا يُكَذِّبُونَكَ وَلَٰكِنَّ الظَّالِمِينَ بِآيَاتِ اللَّهِ يَجْحَدُونَ

We know indeed the grief which their words cause you (O Muhammad ﷺ ):

it is not YOU that they deny, rather, it is the Verses (the Quran) of Allah that the oppressors deny. 

(Surah Al-An'aam 6:33) 

After all, it's just judgment against your work, nothing more. Even the best world-class artists, performers, leaders, and scholars, even they were not spared from criticism, either. 

4. Growth mindset - As you keep improving yourself, always consider yourself to be a "work in progress". Any criticism laid against you is only your current "phase". 5 years down the road, you're probably going to look back and consider this moment as a time when "I was young and less experienced" or "in my younger, foolish days" 

5. If others showed you disrespect, arrogance, or hurled personal attacks against you, it's their loss, not yours. Don't retaliate or retort. 

Don't give bullies the satisfaction of getting to your head or getting you upset. 

As long as you don't fight back or react emotionally, the honor is yours (and people will see it, too) 

Imam Ash-Shafi’ee once said,  “Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards an ignorant foolish person, is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response but rather, it does not befit the lion to answer dogs.” 

خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ

"Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish" (Surah Al-A'raf, 7: 199) 

وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا

"And the slaves of Ar-Rahman (The Most Merciful) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness." (Surah Al-Furqan 25:63) 

Keeping the end (akhirah) in mind, any form of disrespect also means them donating their righteous deeds to you on Day of Judgment! 

6. Hold the Fort, and keep the big picture in mind - when you receive harsh criticism, or ridiculous demands (e.g." I want this yesterday"), sometimes the convenient thing to do is to give in and just say "yes". 

But remember, it's not about you. If you have a clear intention, stand your ground and don't just cave in under pressure. 

The submissive "yes" might resolve the discomfort in the moment, but could result in a lot of problems down the road and compromise the bigger picture: your team, your project, or your goals. 

And when things go sour later because we didn't put our foot down, ego starts to creep in: we will be tempted to play victim, blame others, throw others under the bus, or give some lame excuses

If you are unable to make the call, then clearly state it, and own up to the consequences. 

7. Focus on SELF improvement - Drive yourself with the desire to be better, not to beat others. Bury the desire to "prove them wrong" - it has the dangerous risk of turning things personal and escalate into an unhealthy cycle of revenge. 

The Prophet ﷺ said, "glad tidings to the person who busies himself in rectifying his own faults, instead of busying himself hunting the faults of others!" (al-Hakim) 

8. Use humor - Here's what I recently try to adopt: Don't take yourself too seriously! Whenever you can remain composed and confident, strategically use humor wherever you can. But be mindful to use it in a sincere & humble self-deprecating kind of way, not the sarcastic, cynical "what-a-stupid-opinion" way. 

From time to time, I try to slip in the casual "I know, right?", "oof, you got me there" or raise my hands and say "guilty as charged, your honor" 

Not only does this defuse the situation and elevates the atmosphere, but subconsciously communicates a confidence that you are unphased, receptive and welcoming for others to speak up and share their thoughts. 

This isn't easy, of course. I could never do this in my younger days. It requires training to get rid of ego, learn self-awareness and gaining empathy of our surroundings, and of course, trial and error. In fact, if you aren't totally calm and composed, or unsure of how they will react, best not to risk it, or else you may have it backfire completely if you sound pretentious or condescending. 

9. Be nice - Wherever you can, show kindness and generosity to your critic. When the professional setting is finished and the boxing gloves are off, you can immediately have a coffee together and hit it off as friends. Demonstrate, by your actions, that you acknowledge that the criticism is nothing personal, and they got nothing to feel bad about. It's just work. And I'm a big boy. 

So that's it! Ultimately, when we combine these elements, the end product and tip of the iceberg is to develop mental toughness, of which the Prophet ﷺ described:

"True strength isn't to overcome others through wrestling them with your physical strength. Rather, the truly strong person is the one who controls himself when he is in a state of anger" (Al-Bukhari) 

Any others? Share your thoughts!