Among the goals in Ramadan we should strive to achieve is to elevate our level of sabr (patience) in putting up with others around us. Whether it's our provocative co-workers, our children's tantrums, our spouse’s habits, annoying fellow commuters on the train, traffic jams, or terrible parking habits at the masjid - there are so many situations that can trigger us.
Allah wants us to take the high road: Don't be reactive by getting caught up in the moment, succumb to your "hanger" and let your emotions get the best of you. Take these frustrating encounters into opportunities, to train our emotional intelligence in withholding our anger and increasing our levels of tolerance in dealing with others to be a more effective human being.
When it comes to being "productive" in Ramadan, doing "more" - more Qur'an, more tarawih, more du'aa. And thats all great. And here's what we can do to achieve another higher level: practice restraint. Do LESS: of what is displeading to Allah.
What people sometimes forget is that in the Islamic perspective, to practice more restraint is also being more productive. To withhold your anger, restrain yourselves against sinful behavior - including transgressing others in your fits of anger - are all acts of worship. The more you withhold out of faith, for the sake of Allah, the more you cultivate in taqwa (consciousness of Allah), which is in fact the whole objective of fasting, as Allah informs us in ayah #183 of Surah Al-Baqarah.
In multiple narrations, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasized the need for patience, especially throughout fasting, affirming the concept of fasting as a "shield" - to protect ourselves from our own transgressions.
He ﷺ said,
الصِّيَامُ جُنَّةٌ إِذَا كَانَ أَحَدُكُمْ صَائِمًا فَلاَ يَرْفُثْ وَلاَ يَجْهَلْ فَإِنِ امْرُؤٌ قَاتَلَهُ أَوْ شَاتَمَهُ فَلْيَقُلْ إِنِّي صَائِمٌ إِنِّي صَائِمٌ
"Fasting is like a shield. If one is fasting, then he should not use foul language or behave foolishly. If anyone abuses him or picks a fight with him, just say to him (twice): "I am fasting"" (Muslim)
مَنْ لَمْ يَدَعْ لَمْ يَدَعْ قَوْل الزُّورِ وَالْعَمَلَ بِهِ وَالْجَهْلَ فَلَيْسَ لِلَّهِ حَاجَةٌ أَنْ يَدَعَ طَعَامَهُ وَشَرَابَهُ
"Whoever does not give up false statements (i.e. telling lies), and evil deeds, and speaking bad words to others, Allah is not in need of his (fasting) leaving his food and drink!” (Al-Bukhari)
These narrations also contain an elegant lesson in self-discipline and personal development. Because we are in a state of hunger while we are fasting, we are more easily triggered. In spite of being hangry, we need to thrive for a HIGHER level of patience. Push your limits of sabr (patience): Be better!
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