Visionary Parenting: The Ripple Effect of Choosing Integrity

 

We always want what is "best for our children." But how many of us think of centuries and generations into the future?

Two historical stories illustrate what happens when parents value integrity over status.

Story 1: The Milk Seller

While patrolling Madinah at night, Caliph Umar ibn Al-Khattab overheard a conversation of a mother telling her daughter to dilute their milk with water to increase profits.

The daughter reminded her, “Caliph ʿUmar prohibited such practices.” 

The mother said, “ʿbut Umar cannot see you.” 

The daughter replied: “But the Lord of ʿUmar can.”

Story 2: The Orchard Keeper

In 736 CE, a wealthy orchard owner asked his servant, Mubarak, to fetch a sweet pomegranate from the orchard. Three times Mubarak brought a fruit; three times it was sour.

Furious, the master asked, “Do you not know the difference between sweet and sour?” 

Mubãrak said, “No I don't" 

The master said, “How!?” 

Mubarak said, “Because I have never eaten pomegranates for me to know the difference.” 

The master asked, “But why have you never eaten it?” 

Mubãrak said, “Because you have never given me permission to eat it.”

Despite years of service, he had never tasted a single fruit without permission.

The Visionary Response

How would we respond to such honesty? We might offer a promotion or a bonus. 

But these visionary men saw something deeper. They saw the "DNA" of a future generation.

Umar ibn Al-Khattab immediately sought the girl's hand for his son, Asim. Their lineage eventually produced Umar bin Abdul Aziz, the legendary leader regarded as the "fifth Righteous Caliph."

The Orchard Owner married his daughter to Mubarak. Their son was Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak, the "polymath of the soul" and one of history's greatest scholars and philanthropists.

The Lesson for Today

Skills, money, and authority can be built or seized. But integrity is a rare quality that must be nurtured.

When these fathers saw such character, they didn't just see a good worker or a law-abiding citizen—they saw the person they wanted to raise their grandchildren.

As parents, we must ask ourselves:

When we look at suitors for our children, do we look past the salary and social status?

Do we ask, "What kind of parent will this person be?"

Do we realize that our decisions today carry Barakah (blessings) that our great-grandchildren will taste?

People may not remember the names of the parents who made these choices, but history never forgets the fruit of their wisdom.

What qualities are you prioritizing for your family's future?

Mencari Calon Menantu: Ibu Bapa Berwawasan 🌊

 

Kita selalu mahukan yang terbaik untuk anak-anak. Tapi, sejauh mana kita melihat ke hadapan? 

Dua kisah untuk renungan bersama:

📍 Kisah 1: Khalifah Umar Al-Khattab terdengar perbualan antara seorang gadis penjual susu dan ibunya. Ibu menyuruh anaknya mencampurkan susu dengan air untuk keuntungan. 

Anaknya mengingatkan: “Khalifah Umar melarang amalan sedemikian.” 

Si ibu menjawab: “Tetapi Umar tidak nampak kamu.” 

Balas si anak: “Tetapi Tuhannya Umar melihat.”

📍 Kisah 2: Penjaga Kebun, seorang hamba bernama Mubarak di suruh tuan ya membawa delima manis. Tetapi berkali-kali, beliau bawa delima masam kepada tuannya. Tuannya pelik: “Kamu ni tak tahu bezakan antara yang manis dan yang masam?”

Mubarak: “Tidak, saya tidak tahu.” 

“Bagaimana!?” 

Mubarak: “Kerana saya tidak pernah memakan buah delima itu untuk saya tahu bezanya.” Sebabnya? “Kerana tuan tidak pernah memberi saya izin untuk memakannya.”

Bertahun-tahun berkhidmat, namun sekali pun beliau tidak pernah merasai buah dari Kebun tuannya. 

Tindakan Bapa yang berwawasan jauh 💡

✨ Umar mengahwinkan anaknya dengan gadis penjual susu itu. Lahirlah zuriat agung, Umar bin Abdul Aziz, khalifah hebat dan adil, yang dianggap sebagai khulafa ar-Rashidun yang kelima.

✨ Pemilik kebun mengahwinkan anaknya dengan Mubarak. Lahirlah Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak, ulama besar yang dikenali sebagai "Amirul Mukminin Fil Hadith", juga dikenali dengan kedermawanannya, serta keberaniannya di medan perang. 

Pengajarannya?

Kemahiran dan harta boleh dicari, tetapi integriti sukar diganti. 

Bapa-bapa ini melihat "benih" baik untuk masa depan cucu cicit mereka.

Sebagai ibu bapa: 

✅ Adakah kita hanya memandang gaji & status sosial bakal menantu? 

✅ Atau kita melihat kualiti diri mereka sebagai bakal bapa/ibu kepada cucu kita nanti?

Boleh jadi, pilihan kita hari ini menjadi penentu sama ada keturunan kita akan menjadi "buah yang manis" untuk ummat. 🍎

Walaupun anak2 saya kecik lagi, bagi saya, kita kena semaikan mindset ni awal: Apa kualiti yang kita tanam dalam keluarga hari ini? Dan, sejauh mana Tarbiyah anak kita agar mereka jadi "menantu material" yang layak? 

Do your part: No Excuses

 

 “Even if the Day of Judgment is about to be established while anyone of you has a sapling in is hand, plant it”

In this concise advice from the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, he emphasizes an important lesson of taking action. Stop overthinking or finding reasons to justify inaction.

If you have the means and the opportunity to do something good, to add value to others, do it... Even if the world is going to end! 

It's interesting to note that in this context of doing an act of good the Prophet used the parable of planting a tree. Not prayer, reciting Qur'an, giving money in charity, or others.. Just planting a tree. A deed that: 

- is relatively "minor" or seemingly insignificant

- Takes a long time to actually bear any result, with a very real possibility of failing to even grow healthily.

Don't delay or give excuses: Don't say it will never grow. Don't say there is there is no time, no point, "it's not going to work" or "doesn't matter anyway". 

Just do your part, take action: leave the rest to Allah