Inna
Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un – verily, to Allah we belong, and verily to Him
we shall return..
2 weeks ago, on the morning of Saturday, 23rd February 2013, my
grandfather of 81 years old, Mohamed ibn Ali – passed away. May Allah have
Mercy on him, rahimahUllahu rahmatan wasi’ah.
My
grandfather – whom we call Tok Wei – was indeed a good man, and here I’d like
to share a humble list of three (3) valuble Reminders about life, which really
struck a cord in me, upon reflecting his life and death.
It is with the intention
that this is a means that people will benefit from as beneficial knowledge,
which will add to his account of continuous good deeds even after his departure
from this world, as described in the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (sallAllahu
alayhi wasallam):
“When a man dies, his deeds come to an end (in being
written), except three:
(i)
recurring charity,
or
(ii)
knowledge (by which
people) benefit, or
(iii)
a righteous son, who
prays for him (for the deceased).”
(Sahih Muslim, Book 13, Hadith #4006)
Of course, 3 lessons alone definitely don’t do justice - in
comparison to the ocean of good deeds that he has done: rather this personal
tribute is intended as a concise life reminder, restricted by the relatively
little time being spent with him (may Allah have mercy on him), and
this author’s personal weakness in his wisdom, knowledge, and ability of
deriving more lessons & benefit.
Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal, it is hoped that this humble
tribute will be of benefit to him, however small or big it may be, and with
hopes that you, dear reader, will share this to others, out of love for your
Muslim brother.
To sum it up – here is a translation of an Arab poetry:
“O son of Adam, when you came into this world, you were
crying and people around you were smiling in happiness.
Live your live such that, when you leave this world, you
are smiling in happiness, and people around you are crying”
1. Leave Behind A Good Legacy
Tok Wei’s defining character trait was that of an exemplary
teacher with a huge list of successful students; and as we mentioned in the
saying of the Prophet earlier, this is a great investment to him, rewards of
which he will continue to reap even after his departure from this world.
But his iconic footprints left more than just ‘knowledge’
amongst students: He wasn’t a dato’ or a tan sri, or even had a PhD: he was a
teacher who was passionate about educating others & enriching their lives
with knowledge; so much so that he was awarded with the “Tokoh Guru Negara”
(National Teacher Figure) award in the year 2000.
Even while he was alive, this man was a walking legend. While
we were young (while he was in his 60s), we would walk with him in his hometown
Kota Bharu – and he would receive warm greetings, handshakes and casual
conversations from just about every middle-aged person in town. And when you
looked at the kind of greetings he received from these random people in the
streets, it wasn’t the “Oh, it’s my ex-boss” kind of stare, or the “oh it’s HIM”
evasive manoeuvre to avoid any form of contact – rather, it’s a greeting with the
genuine look of gratitude from his former students whom, from the look of their
eyes, harboured a deep feeling of love and respect.
And here’s a recent incident I’ll never forget: In 2011, he
was with us in KL for a family gathering for a few days. After a few days, the
Sultan of Kelantan – who, by the way, sets a fine example to the people for
being very diligent at consistently praying the daily congregational prayers at
the mosque in the same area as Tok Wei’s house – he noticed that Tok Wei hasn’t
been around for prayers at the mosque.
At this, one day after Fajr/Subuh (morning) prayer, he asked
the people & the congregation, in a concerned tone: “Mana cikgu saya? Lama
saya tak nampak dia” (Where is my teacher? I haven’t seen him for quite a
while!)
Now this is something you gotta take a step back and think
about: A few days gone from prayer and the Sultan is concerned & asks
about you by name.
Now that’s a genuine sign of gratitude that money or fame
can’t buy.
But it’s interesting to reflect back at how he built such a
great reputation for himself. After all, there are so many teachers out there:
what makes him standout with such high level of personal & societal
recognition?
It was a passion to educate & enrich people’s lives with
knowledge.
From what my mother and the aunties/uncles described to us,
the first defining aspect was because he personally conducted extra tuition
classes. In those days (60s & 70s), this was a rare thing: most students
didn’t have extra tuition, because hardly any teachers would do this. Unlike
the situation today, back then teachers were in short supply, and most would
have their hands full with their educational efforts at school (on top of their
regular family duties); conducting additional tuition classes would be
difficult, drain a lot of their time & be very tiring.
So, when you have a family of six children & still have
the determination to conduct extra tuition classes, this reveals something more
than teaching as a profession or a “job”: it’s your passion. And perhaps it was
this passion that drove & inspired so many of his students achieving
success.
We could see this reflected in the way he taught us. He
would talk to us in private, motivate and reward us for our achievements in our
studies: even in the final weeks before his death he was sending personal
messages to my sister, uplifting her spirits and promising to reward her good
results.
A little passion can go a long way, indeed. Again, the
question to us is: what do WE want to be remembered for? When we
leave this world, what sort of footsteps do we want others to follow in?
Here lies a profound lesson to all of us today: sometimes we
fail to truly give justice in acknowledging or commending the numerous teachers
– especially ustazs or shaykhs who conduct classes or give reminders for us, at
night or during weekends. Many of them have full-time job commitments and
families to take care of – yet they would find time at nights or during the
weekends to squeeze in so they can spread extra knowledge for the sake of Allah.
Some of them don’t even expect a single cent in payment
The fact that they receive their rewards from Allah is one
thing, but on our side, it is upon us to recognize their efforts in helping
make a difference in our lives.
the Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“Those who are not thankful to the people, they are not
thankful to Allah” (narrated in Tirmidzi, Ahmad & Abu Daud)
Sometimes, subconsciously we have this selfish thought that
“oh they have knowledge so it’s expected they must spread knowledge” – but the
reality is, it’s a demanding task & requires serious effort. Many people
don’t even make commitment to GO to class: how about those who prepare & CONDUCT
them? They have families too, they have chores too, they have challenges too..
so do we truly give them the recognition they deserve?
At the very least, we should make sincere du’aa (invocations
& supplications) to Allah for every single one of our teachers - to forgive
all them, give barakah (blessings) to their knowledge, keep them steadfast, and
reward them with Jannah (Paradise).
The du’aa for another Muslim in their absence has a special
place & reward in the sight of Allah; the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “The du’aa (supplication) of a
Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered. Every time he
makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed for this
particular task says: `Ameen! May it be for you, too’.” (Sahih Muslim, Book
#035, Hadith #6589).
But back to the lesson at hand: leaving behind a good
legacy.
As we live our lives, we should take a step back, and
honestly ask ourselves the question – what do we want to be remembered for?
What legacy do I want to leave behind? If I were to die today, what would
people remember or acknowledge me for? What will GOD remember ME as?
Really, we have only one shot at life: one shot to set our
mark, and it’s too short to live our
lives in autopilot & on mechanical
routines. Way too short to just ‘survive’ from cradle to the grave.
Have a
genuine passion of what you want to pursue in your life, and never let go of
that passion: that very passion will be what defines you, and the legacy you
leave behind.
2. A Good Life, a Good Ending
Tok Wei led a simple life – but he enjoyed it. He would
appreciate & enjoy good food, love good books, like good scenery, take long
& healthy morning walks, and was consistent at praying in congregation at
the mosque every day. He never busied
himself with relentless pursuits of hoarding wealth or fame.
He was also blessed with good health; with the exception of
a bypass surgery he undertook about 10 years ago, he did not suffer from any
ailments or diseases. In fact, no one saw his death coming – only 2 weeks
before that we were having a family holiday & picnic together and he was
100% with his friendly smile and warm words of encouragement.
It’s an important reminder for all of us to live simple,
happy and thankful lives – right NOW. Don’t wait for retirement. How many of
us, we get caught up so badly in the web of our busy schedule, complicated
politics, relentless pursuit of material wealth, that we become grumpy,
irritable, unthankful, defensive, always complaining – and we just forget to
simply take a step back and enjoy life. There a thousands of reasons why we
should be happy and thankful – and yet we allow those few little things to ‘ruin
my day’.
But the most touching aspect of his departure was the beautiful
ending (Husn Al-Khatimah) which Allah had blessed him with - at the end of the
day, when he left this world, everyone who knew him, held him in high regard &
did not harbour any ill-feelings whatsoever with him.
In fact, as far as I know, I have never heard of any
individual harbour any ill-feelings toward him or see anyone treat him with any
sign of negativity. It seemed that everyone who knew him, loved – or at least
greatly respected – him.
Perhaps – and I pray that this is indeed the case – this is
a good sign that Tok Wei is amongst those whom the Prophet described was the
result of being a person who is beloved to Allah :
"When Allah loves a slave, He calls (the angel)
Jibreel and says: Verily, I so and so; you should also love him, and then
Jibreel begins to love him.
Then he (Jibreel) makes an announcement in the heaven
saying: Allah loves so and so and you also love him,
and then the inhabitants of the Heaven (the angels) also
begin to love him
and then there is conferred honour upon him in the
earth"
(Sahih Muslim, Book #032, Hadith #6373)
The "beautiful ending" was indeed something memorable to me. There was a huge blessing & wisdom that Allah took away
his life at around 2:00am on a Saturday morning (i.e. Friday midnight): that
left family members enough time to rush off to buy last minute air tickets to
fly to hometown; and since it was a Saturday – on a weekend – our jobs did not
get in the way. Alhamdulillah, all praise and thanks to Allah, by late morning almost
the entire family was there in time for the funeral procession. It was indeed a
sad day, but at the same time, it was heartwarming & positively touching
that the whole family got together.
Amazingly the timing subsequently allowed for a bigger crowd
for the congregational funeral prayer. Because the funeral (washing &
shrouding of the body) could only start in the morning after sunlight (and we
were done around 12pm), we would pray the funeral prayer in congregation after
Zuhur prayer (around 1:30pm): this gave us plenty of time to rest and announce
the funeral prayer to get as many people as possible to the congregation. Numerous
ex-students and distant family members flew in just for his funeral: some of
which we didn’t even know.
So when it did take place, Tok Wei’s funeral prayer had
quite a big crowd: a privilege that many deceased don’t get, especially when
things are in a rush or when timing’s not right. And that is an amazing
blessing.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said,
“If any Muslim dies and forty men who associate nothing
with Allah stand over his prayer (they offer prayer over him), Allah will accept
them as intercessors for him.” (Sahih
Muslim, Book #004, Hadith #2072)
“If a Muslim dies and his funeral prayer is attended by a
group of a hundred Muslims, and they all sincerely pray for his forgiveness, he
is forgiven'." (Hadith narrated by Ahmad, Muslim, and Tirmidzi)
And since the weather was fine, funeral procession was very quick
& straightforward: by around 3pm, we were done: very easy on all of us.
In retrospect, all these facts indeed indicate that on top
of the simple & enjoyable life he lived, Allah had honoured Tok Wei with a beautiful
ending. And although we were in tears and sad of his departure, I also felt
happy that he departed peacefully in the company of his loved ones in a very
straightforward funeral procession.
And pondering about this brings tears down my eyes: tears of
joy for him, and for fear of myself & other family members & friends around
me.
Who knows what our ending may be? Who knows that our true
evil will only be made manifest in the final moments of our lives? Who knows
that perhaps: those people we thought were ‘lost’ might make a turn towards the
final moments of their lives, and Allah brings out the true goodness in them
that they become the people of Paradise?
The Prophet said,
“a man may do deeds characteristic of the people of the
(hell) Fire, so much so that there is only the distance of a cubit between him
and it, and then what has been written (by the angel) surpasses, and so he
starts doing deeds characteristic of the people of paradise and enters
paradise.
Similarly, a person may do deeds characteristic of the
people of paradise, so much so that there is only the distance of a cubit
between him and it, and then what has been written (by the angel) surpasses,
and he starts doing deeds of the people of the (hell) Fire and enters the
(hell) Fire." (Sahih
Al-Bukhari, Book #55, Hadith #549)
“And (the results of) deeds depend on the last actions”
(Sahih Al-Bukhari)
May Allah keep us steadfast upon His obedience, to bless us
with a good ending, and allow us to depart from this world leaving behind a
good legacy that will be of continual benefit to us after we depart, and may He
unite us with our families in the highest levels of Jannah amongst those which
He described:
“And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in
Faith,
to them shall We join their offspring,
and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in
anything.
Every person is a pledge for that which he has earned.”
(Qur’an Surah At-Tur 52:21)
3. A Man of Peace
For as long as I can remember, Tok Wei has never ever spoken
ill, spoken against, or backbitten against anyone at all. The same holds true
for any physical harm: I have never even heard rumours about him harming anyone
or anything – save from foxes and snakes in his backyard.
And perhaps this – and I pray that it is - a sign that he is
amongst the best of Muslims.
A person asked the Prophet who
was among the Best of the Muslims.
The prophet said: "(the
one) whose hand and tongue, other Muslims are safe (from)"
(sahih Muslim, Book #001, Hadith #0064)
(sahih Muslim, Book #001, Hadith #0064)
He never participated in group discussions (you know, the
type where the most gossips, backbiting and rumour mills spreading): his
conversations are one-on-one, personal discussions, very straight to the point,
very pleasant, with a smile never leaving his face.
There’s a physical reason behind this: the thing about Tok
Wei is that since I was very young (perhaps for the past 20 years or so), he
couldn’t hear very well. As a result of that for quite a significant portion of
his later life, he didn’t have much conversations. But instead of it being seen
like a handicap, he managed to utilize this to a beneficial advantage : he
would never participate in any vain, negative or idle talk whatsoever.
This allowed him to completely disassociate himself from any
form of gossip and backbiting; thus, coupled with his peaceful and harmless
nature, and his very consistent ibadah (worship) at the masjid, this allowed
him to retain perhaps all of his good deeds.
Unlike many of us who DO have the perfect ability of speech
and hearing, that we always abuse ourselves by negative use of our tongue –
inadvertently eroding our good deeds.
The Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Do you
know who is the one who is bankrupt?”
They said: “Among us, the one who is bankrupt is the one who
has no dirhams and no goods.”
He said: “Rather, the one who is bankrupt amongst my
ummah (nation) is the one who will come on the Day of Resurrection with (his
good deeds, of) prayer, fasting and zakaah,
but he will come having insulted this one, slandered that
one, consumed the wealth of this one, shed the blood of that one and beaten
this one,
all of whom will be given some of his hasanaat (good
deeds), and if his hasanaat run out before the scores have been settled, some
of their sins will be taken and thrown onto him, then he will be cast into the
Fire.” (Sahih Muslim, Book
#032, Hadith #6251)
So, while
he wasn’t a great scholar or a memorizer of Qur’an, but because he didn’t
oppress anyone with his tongue or his hand, all of his deeds remain intact. And
this reminds me of how important akhlaq (good character) is in our lives. On
the other hand, many of those who claim to have knowledge and are very active
in the deen, are guilty of so much verbal abuse and risk nullifying their
deeds.
This is a
reminder to us about a very devious way in which Satan subconsciously attacks
us – by shifting our priorities & making us belittle the importance of good
character, especially of guarding the tongue from harmful and oppressive
speech: as a result, we are continuously led down a hole which slowly eats away
the good deeds which we spent so much effort in sowing.
So for
those of us who do have perfect hearing and perfect speech, let everyone never
forget this golden rule – the Prophet said,
“..
whomsoever believes in Allah and the Last Day (i.e. Day of Judgment), let him
speak what is good, or just remain silent!” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Book #73, Hadith #47)
And
subhanAllah the following hadith gives a real optimism about Tok Wei, and makes
me ponder my own shortcomings
“I will
tell you the distinguishing marks of a person for whom the fire of Hell has been
made unlawful and who is a forbidden person for Hellfire to consume:
He is a
man who bears a sweet temper, tender heart and is soft spoken” (Narrated in Tirmidzi)
As per Lesson #1, it’s worth reflecting from this point of
view: what if we were to die TODAY? Will it be a sad departure of a person who
brought benefit to others – or a sigh of relief as the world releases a big
burden from itself?
It’s easy to let petty worldly arguments let our guard down
in terms of observing our good character, as we lose professionalism and
sometimes leaves heavy marks on people’s hearts. From our backbiting, our
slander, our offensive demeanor: Is this ‘baggage’ something that we want to
drag with us when we leave? A source
Because really, if our tongues and bad character can lead to
our destruction, are we better of being mute and deaf? How ungrateful are we
for these great blessings that God has blessed us with.
Our tongue, our character – can make or break us.
Tread carefully: depart in peace!
Alhamdulillah, that’s the end of this entry. While – I must
say again, these 3 points definitely do not do justice to the ocean of good
deeds and goodness that was my grandfather, Mr. Mohamed Ali a.k.a. “Tok Wei”, it
is hoped that, with this small effort, in my individual capacity as his eldest
grandson, it is a means of attaining the highest levels of Paradise, with Allah
Most High.
Once again, I remind myself and to all readers out there, to
make du’aa (supplications to Allah) for him, especially with this du’aa taught
by the Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam):
اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَهُ وَارْحَمْهُ، وَعَافِهِ، وَاعْفُ عَنْهُ، وَأَكْرِمْ نُزُلَهُ، وَوَسِّعْ مُدْخَلَهُ، وَاغْسِلْهُ بِالْمَاءِ وَالثَّلْجِ وَالْبَرَدْ، وَنَقِّهِ مِنَ الْخَطَايَا كَما نَقَّيْتَ الثَّوْبُ الأَبْيَضَ مِنَ الدَّنَسِ، وَأَبْدِلْهُ دَاراً خَيْراً مِنْ دَارِهِ، وَأَهْلاً خَيْراً مِنْ أَهْلِهِ، وَزَوْجاً خَيْراً مِنْ زَوْجِهِ، وَأَدْخِلْهُ الْجَنَّةَ، وَأَعِذْهُ مِنْ عَذَابِ الْقَبْرِ وَعَذَابِ النَّارِ
O Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him and give him strength and pardon him. Be generous to him and cause his entrance to be wide and wash him with water and snow and hail. Cleanse him of his transgressions as white cloth is cleansed of stains. Give him an abode better than his home, and a family better than his family and a wife better than his wife. Take him into Paradise and protect him from the punishment of the grave (and from the punishment of Hell-fire).
(Sahih muslim)
