Lelaki tidak suka belajar Tajwid?

Baru-baru ini, isteri saya mengajak beberapa kenalan dan ahli keluarganya turut serta dalam satu kursus Tajwid berguru intensif, yang khusus untuk perempuan sahaja.

Selepas beberapa minggu dalam kursus tersebut, beliau bertanya kepada maklumbalas mereka, bagaimana? OK tak kelas Tajwid?

Kesemuanya memberi maklumbalas yang amat positif - "Best!" - dan bila ditanya seorang demi seorang, "Kenapa?" atau "Apa yang best?" Mereka semua menjawab :  sebab ustazah banyak tegur, sangat terperinci, selalu cari kesalahan, tahulah kelemahan untuk perbaiki tajwid.  

Ajib! Mereka sangat seronok bila ditegur dan ditunjuk kesalahan - dan masha Allah, mudah-mudahan ini satu petanda tentang keikhlasan dalam menuntut ilmu, mengislahkan amal dan memperbaiki diri.

.. Tetapi malang sekali, hal ini sangat berbeza dengan ramai lelaki.

Daripada pengalaman kami, ramai lelaki yang cuba mengelak daripada tadarus/bacaan Qur'an dan diperbetulkan tajwid, terutama sekali di hadapan orang lain dalam persekitaran kelas. Bila di perbetulkan sedikit, sentap.

Malah, kadangkala jika ada majlis ilmu/halaqah/usrah yang ada padanya tadarus/bacaan Qur'an, mereka akan mengelak terus daripada hadir kerana 'malu' atau terasa bila ditegur, akhir sekali rugi terus ilmu.

Ada juga yang terus-terang beritahu saya dan sahabat lain secara peribadi, mereka memang tak nak hadir kerana adanya sesi tadarus Qur'an, tidak suka diperbetulkan depan orang ramai.

.. amat berbeza dengan para akhawat dan wanita tadi yang ‘seronok’ bila berjumpa dengan guru-guru tajwid yang sangat banyak perbetulkan bacaan mereka!

Di sini wahai kaum Adam, saudara-saudara sekalian, saya nak kongsikan sedikit nasihat dan teguran.

Ya, tidak dinafikan, pembetulan secara peribadi adalah lebih baik dan efektif, tetapi Pembetulan tajwid tetap pembetulan tajwid, tetap penambahbaikan dalam ilmu Qur'an. 

Cuma bezanya persepsi kita : bila ditegur depan orang ramai mungkin orang lelaki mudah terasa malu, ego terguris atau tercabar, atau ditakuti atau ‘fobia’ seolah-olah orang lain memandang serong terhadapnya kerana kekurangan upayanya membaca al-Qur’an. 

Wahai saudara sekalian – kuatkanlah jati diri dan azam untuk ikhlas dalam menuntut ilmu, dan membuang ego daripada usaha kita dalam Al-Qur’an. Jangan beri ruangan terhadap syaitan untuk memberi ‘alasan’ kita malas/meninggalkan Qur’an. 

Semua orang bermula buta huruf – tiada orang di dunia ini yang lahir-lahir, terus mahir.

Cuma sesetengah orang diberi didikan awal oleh ibu bapanya atau persekitaran Pendidikan awal yang kondusif, dan - Alhamdulillah – dia mudah membaca bila dewasa.

Kalau kita tidak diberi kesempatan ini semasa kecil, usahlah rasa malu, mulakan sahaja sekarang! 

Bahkan bagi seorang mukmin, perasaan malu itulah yang sepatutnya mendorong kita lebih berazam untuk mantapkan lagi tajwid. 

Tiada siapa yang akan memandang rendah atau serong terhadap anda kalau anda lakukan kesilapan – kalau ada pun, maka yang memandang rendah itu lah yang bersalah di sisi Allah – bahkan mungkin itulah sikap Takabbur yang amat dilarang oleh Nabi, sehingga seseorang yang mempunyai sifat ini walaupun sebesar satu zarah tidak akan masuk syurga. 

Wahai saudara-saudara sekalian, minima 17 kali dalam satu hari – setiap hari – kita meminta kepada Allah dalam surah al-Fatihah :

اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ

“Tunjukkanlah kepada kami Jalan yang Lurus!”

17 kali Kita meminta-minta hidayah daripada Allah. Dan untuk mendapat petunjuk bagaimana untuk perbetulkan bacaan kitab-Nya adalah satu jenis petunjuk yang Allah berikan melalui hamba-Nya yang lain. 

Kalaulah kita sengaja mengelak daripadanya kerana ego, boleh jadi secara tidak langsung, dengan perbuatan kita, kita menolak hidayah Allah. 

Wahai sahabat-sahabat sekalian, Rasulullah ﷺ bersabda, 

 مَثَلُ الَّذِي يَقْرَأُ الْقُرْآنَ وَهْوَ حَافِظٌ لَهُ مَعَ السَّفَرَةِ الْكِرَامِ الْبَرَرَةِ

“Mereka yang mahir dalam membaca al-Qur’an – akan dihimpunkan bersama as-safaratul Kiram (pengutus mulia di sisi Allah – para malaikat);

وَمَثَلُ الَّذِي يَقْرَأُ الْقُرْآنَ وَهْوَ يَتَعَاهَدُهُ وَهْوَ عَلَيْهِ شَدِيدٌ، فَلَهُ أَجْرَانِ 

Dan yang membaca dengan susah payah itu, akan diberikan ganjaran dua kali ganda” (HR Al-Bukhari)

Di sini Nabi memberi motivasi kepada kita untuk sentiasa usaha dan tidak berputus asa.

Bayangkan, wahai saudara sekalian – jika anda berusaha dalam bersusah payah bacaan tajwid, akan diberikan ganjaran dua kali ganda.

Soalan : Wujudkah pekerjaan di dunia ni, bila kita baru nak mula, masih terkapai-kapai, slow dan banyak silap, majikan akan bayar gaji dua kali ganda - hanya atas dasar usaha gigih?!

Tidak.. Ganjaran ini semua Hanya daripada rahmat Allah الرحمن الرحيم - tapi mungkin kita yang berpaling, dan kita kurang hargai. 

Mungkin ada yang tidak bersetuju dengan saya meng-umum-kan statistik jantina sebegini, i.e. "Gender stereotyping" - kerana saya yakin, mungkin statistik saya kurang tepat, dan memang tidak dinafikan ada sahaja lelaki yang masha Allah sangat suka ditegur dan gigih berusaha dalam penambahbaikan, ataupun sebaliknya mungkin ada juga perempuan yang bersikap ego dan tidak suka ditegur. 

Tetapi saya sengaja nak lebihkan sedikit tegur penekanan kepada lelaki, kerana saya sendiri adalah lelaki dan saya rasa wajar nak tegur geng saya sendiri sebagai satu “wake up call” bila statistik dah menunjukkan trending yang kurang sihat ini. Juga kepada lelaki selaku golongan pemimpin dan ketua keluarga yang perlu sentiasa amalkan contoh terbaik. Dan mungkin juga sebab kadang-kadang kaum lelaki tertidur ketika pesanan dan nasihat penting ketika khutbah Jumaat. Yalah kan, penat.

Ala kulli hal mesej ini adalah satu peringatan kepada diri saya dan juga kepada antum semua – teruskanlah dan tingkatkanlah lagi – usaha dalam memahirkan diri, menguasai tajwid, memahami, dan menghafal al-Qur’an – dan jadilah sebaik-baik manusia seperti yang dikhabarkan Nabi ﷺ :

خَيْرُكُمْ مَنْ تَعَلَّمَ الْقُرْآنَ وَعَلَّمَهُ 

“Yang terbaik daripada kamu adalah mereka yang belajar Al-Qur’an dan mengajarkannya (kepada yang lain)” (HR Al-Bukhari dan Muslim)

The “Kunya” : a practical solution for decreasing the “Power Distance”

Malaysians typically have a culture with Very High “power distance” – studies have shown we have one of the highest Power Distance Indexes (PDIs) in the world, indicating we collectively are a society that readily conforms to hierarchy and "accept and expect that power is distributed unequally", and hence have strong tendencies of autocratic and hierarchical methods of leadership.

This is very evident from the fact that we give a lot of weight to ranks and positions in society : Dato, Tan Sri, Tun, Tuan Haji, YB, YAB, DYMM, Dr., Prof, Sir, etc. : remnants from our old civilization.

As a result, those with ‘lower’ ranks have tendency to feel inferior, and vice versa – to the extent some people get offended when you do not address them accordingly.

Sometimes we deal with unnecessary stress having a hard time figuring out how or what to address people – event MC’s, I feel your pain.

A very practical solution to resolve this, taught to us over 1400 years ago : is simply to call people by their “kunya”.

In the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, the only ‘title’ that is confirmed is the usage of “kunya” : in which people give themselves or others a name with Abu (father of) so-and-so; or Umm (mother of) so-and-so. This is also used by some cultures across the world.

Calling others by Abu, “Father of” or "Mother of" so-and-so to someone – instead of their first name – is indirectly a gesture of respect and honor, indirectly signaling seniority/custodianship/authority/leadership over others, without going overboard in giving undue credit. It is a ‘title’ that we can assign to people of all ages, with no discrimination on race, wealth, or rank in society.

If we don’t know a person’s official kunya, just assign them by the name of their son/daughter. Khalas. Easy : don’t have to think – eh, is he Dato, do I spell is it Dato’ or Datuk, has he done hajj, has he completed his PhD, is he royalty, etc.

If the person doesn’t have children, ask them what is their kunya. If they don’t have one, assign one (with their permission if you want to be extra polite) – this is a confirmed sunnah.

Typically people assign kunya by the names of the firstborn child, just as Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was called Abu Al-Qasim (Father of Al-Qasim) or as Ali ibn Abi Talib was called Abul-Hassan (Father of Hassan), but this isn’t necessarily the case.

Sometimes it is assigned by others as a ‘nickname’ to indicate how attached a person is towards something – such as Abu Bakr (whose name was actually Abdullah ibn Abi Quhafah), but was given the name Abu Bakr (owner of the active young camel) because he used to love camels and play with them. Similarly with another very famous companion – one of the main narrators of hadith – whose name is Abdur Rahman ibn Sakhr : he used to love playing cats, and it was narrated he used to hide kittens in the sleeve of his clothes. So he was given the name “Abu Hurairah” (father of the female kitten) : which he is known by until this very day.

In fact in the sunnah of the Prophet, he would even assign little chilren with a kunya as a sign of respect and motivation. Anas ibn Malik narrated about his younger brother who was newly weaned (~2 years old): who used to play with his sparrow. But one day, the sparrow died – so the Prophet would go to him and say the famous words,

“يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ”

“O Abu Umair (father of Umair), what has happened to the little sparrow?” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet didn’t call him ‘little boy’, or even ‘young man’. So imagine the feeling of a young boy who is called “Father of Umair” by your Shaikh and Leader of your country.

Or if anything, you can choose any name you want. The Great scholar Nu’man ibn Thabit was called “Abu Hanifah” – not because he had a child by the name of Hanifah or was he attributed with anything to do with the literal meaning of Hanifah : he simply liked the name.

Let’s start implementing this sunnah and break the Power Distance.

What if we pray istikharah and things do not turn out the way we intended?

Recently, we made a decision which – at the time, we thought – was definitely the “right” choice, and the right thing . As the weeks went past by, circumstances occurred which made the decision increasingly difficult, and other external factors which made it seem more and more remote to ever happening – until eventually, it was impossible and was clear to us, that it was not meant to be *.

We were initially confused at the situation and even a little bit upset – as we thought it was a good decision for sure.

Until we remembered, that we made the prayer of Istikharah (seeking Counsel from Allah) regarding this decision. And then I am reminded of the words that we utter in that prayer :

وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي

“Oh Allah! If You know that this matter is not good to me In my religion and my life and in the Hereafter-

فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ

Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, And make me satisfied with it).” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

And it was then I learnt a valuable lesson – If, after our best efforts, all has failed, then He Willed for it to happen, within His Wisdom of Knowing what is Best for us. We may not see the wisdom yet, or perhaps we will never know – but our test as believers is to gauge our faith, on how much tawakkul (trust) we have in the Wisdom and Knowledge of Allah, if we are consistent with what we ask for in the prayer of istikharah.

Often times people make statements such as "I have prayed istikharah but nothing happened" - this is an indication of our lack of understanding on what the purpose of istikharah is.

Istikharah is about inquiring from the wisdom of Allah and asking Him to Facilitate our Affairs to what is Best. Sometimes what we perceive as something “good”, may in fact – in the big picture which we do not yet see – NOT be something good for us, in ways only Known to Allah. After all,

وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

“And perhaps, you may hate something, but it is in fact good for you

And perhaps, you may love something, but it is in fact bad for you

Allah Knows but you do not know” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216)

We need to remind ourselves that Allah is in Control of All affairs. If He can Will for a single man who was rejected by his own people for 13 years, eventually become the ruler of Arabia and become the most influential man in history (Muhammad ﷺ); and if He can foil the plots and plans of the most powerful tyrants in the world (Firawn) within the blink of an eye – then what is our request in comparison?

If anything, these incidents is also a deep lesson that we should perform istikharah for more of our actions – even the particularly ‘small’ and/or ‘unremarkable’ ones.

Allah can Make it Happen, or He can Withhold it : what we WANT is that whatever happens is the BEST outcome for us.

So Put our Trust in Allah - the Most Powerful, Most Merciful, All-Wise!

*No, it’s not marriage. Come on guys