“Stepping down Gracefully” for the Greater Good - Sirah Reflections

In recent post- #GE15 events, we see numerous urges for a certain high-level figure to "resign honourably" or "step down gracefully". This reminds me of an interesting event in the Sirah of the Khulafah Ar-Rashidun (Rightly Guided Caliphs):

After the fourth khalifah Ali bin Abi Talib, was assassinated by the khawarij, the Muslims pledged allegiance to his son, Hasan, to be the fifth khalifah. After 6 months of being the Khalifah, Hasan bin Ali, grandson of the Prophet ﷺ, stepped down his position, and handed it over to Muawiyah bin Abi Sufyan: the perceived “rival” to his father, after years of civil war including tragic battles such as the Battle of Siffeen and the Battle of the Camel.

So, what happened after Hasan stepped down ? 

Plot twist: The Muslims stopped fighting completely. They united under the leadership of Muawiyah bin Abi Sufyan, who continued ruling as Khalifah for the next 20 years, without any civil wars or political instability. The nation thrived and flourished once again in a period of history which most people tend to conveniently “forget”. 

But let’s do some role-play here and play devil’s advocate: What would have been some inner struggle and thoughts that could have occupied the mind of Al-Hassan in the moment he was confronted with this tough decision? What would the materialistic-minded people would have incited and tried impose on him to burn his ego? 

“Ya Hasan, Ya Khalifah. Come on.. you are the GRANDSON of the Prophet ﷺ.. son of the fourth khalifah ar-rashidun, son of Fatimah, best of women! 

If there ever was ONE fella who deserved leading the ummah, it’s YOU, Hasan! Didn’t the Prophet himself call you a Sayyid - a LEADER?!

Dude, YOU should be the one in charge and calling the shots here - not this Muawiyah guy! 

What will the people say? That you lack courage for the responsibility of leadership? Your father was such a BEAST in battle and now you chicken out?!

Hold your ground. In fact, it's through YOUR Leadership that will reconcile the ummah together!"

But Alhamduilillah, Hasan didn't let these thoughts get the best of him. He took the high road and handed the reins to Muawiyah. In hindsight, his decision became a unifying act that resulted in stability within the nation for decades to come, fulfilling the prophecy of the Prophet ﷺ:

 ابْنِي هَذَا سَيِّدٌ وَلَعَلَّ اللَّهَ أَنْ يُصْلِحَ بِهِ بَيْنَ فِئَتَيْنِ مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ

"This son of mine is a leader, and (one day), Allah may make peace and reconcile between two groups of Muslims through him.” (Al-Bukhari)

There is a deep lesson for us here. The fact that the Prophet ﷺ here specifically praised him for being a leader, even though he was only leading for 6 months, it signifies an important lesson we can all learn from: Sometimes, our greatest impact can result from ONE decision - and that positive impact can only be seen much later. No, Hasan didn't garner the glory or glamour of leadership. Rather, he made a magnanimous decision that characterized a decision putting aside personal ego, seeing a big picture vision for the greater good of the nation. 

In fact, after Hasan stepped down, he continued to be an upright citizen under Muawiyah’s leadership, even participating in battles organized by Muawiyah’s caliphate. 

Finally, as the Prophet ﷺ himself testifies, it is THROUGH Hasan that the ummah is united and reconciled. And so with peace and stability, the nation prospers. So if you think about it, ALL the good that came from the Muslim ummah under the 20-year leadership of Muawiyah from that moment onwards, can be attributed to the ripple effect - nay, the Barakah Effect - of Hasan’s actions. 

A nice little side point as well about parenting, with respect to inspiring words of encouragement. Hasan was only 7 years old when the Prophet ﷺ passed away. When the Prophet openly told the people that "this son of mine is a leader", he was probably only a little toddler. Imagine what those words would have done to this young boy, who heard this directly from his grandfather who was the leader of Arabia, and Final Messenger from God. 

Now, not all situations call to step down. Part of the heavy responsibility of leadership is wisdom in decision-making: how, what, and when to do certain acts, carefully weighing out the consequences before decisively taking action. Sometimes, as we all have probably witnessed, stepping down can open the floodgates of worse disasters down the road. Which is why the 3rd caliph Uthman didn't step down, even though the rebels were right at his doorstep and eventually entered his house and assassinate him.

But to me, one takeaway lesson from this story is: 

As leaders, we will face difficult situations where our sincerity will be put to the test. Sometimes, we have to make a decision for a cause far greater than ourselves. There are times where we just have to swallow our ego, put aside personal preferences, and bite the bullet for the greater good in the long run. 

Easier said than done, for sure. 

But such is integrity. Who said leadership is easy?

Allah knows best.

Register Hajj for your children, ASAP!

 

Alhamdulilllah today we registered Hajj for our 3-month old Rumaysa with Tabung Haji. According to the “default” sequence, her turn will be in year 2163. That’s only 141 years from now. Insha Allah 😄

I am inspired by my friends who go to Hajj because their parents registered from them when they were little. A good friend of mine, he went for Hajj in his early ‘30s. Why? Because his wife’s parents registered for her when she was a child, and so when her turn was up, the husband automatically got to accompany her.  

Masha Allah, what an amazing legacy for parents to leave behind: to have sent their children to complete their fifth pillar Islam, Hajj - and perhaps along with their familiies, too. Making small efforts to plant the seeds today will yield huge barakah, decades down the line. 

And it’s so EASY to register for hajj these days under Tabung Haji - all we have to do is spend a few minutes to show up. For adults, we can just use the app.. Do everything online, khalas. Lagi senang dari mengundi. Nak tak nak je. 

As for the sequence (i.e. 141 years later)? 

Put that aside for now. What’s important is we focus what’s within our control: Registration. 

What’s beyond our control - the waiting sequence, etc - Leave that to Allah, and put our trust in Him. That sequence what it is today, based on annual hajj allocation for Malaysians and how many have registered. The numbers are always subject for revision, insha Allah. 

And if it doesn’t happen? Well, at least you have some solid evidence with Allah when you meet Him - “ya Allah, I tried!”

🧐 Hunting for Faults in Others

We have to be careful when we approach slogans of attacking and blaming others, especially our leaders. 

Everyone, in their own capacity, is a leader in their own right, as the Prophet ﷺ said, “every single one of you are shepherds, and everyone of you is responsible and will be questioned for your flock. 

- An appointed leader over the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock;

- a man is a shepherd in charge of the inhabitants of his household and he is responsible for his flock;

- a woman is a shepherdess in charge of her husband's house and children and she is responsible for them; and

- a slave is a shepherd in charge of his master's property and he is responsible for it” (Al-Bukhari)

Observe this hadith. EVERY SINGLE PERSON is a leader who shoulders some degree of responsibility: from a leader, a father, a mother, right down to the lowest member in society who, on the surface, has virtually "No responsibilities"… a slave.

 As human beings, we tend to feel a sinister, wicked sense of satisfaction and enjoyment whenever others faults are exposed. A feel-good element that subconsciously gives a sense of self-righteousness. Seductive whispers of shaytan.

If we aren’t careful, then those words we speak of others will only be a source of regret, as we meet Allah on the Day of Judgment and watch in horror as our good deeds are snatched away into the accounts of those whom we backbite and slander behind their backs. 

We have much to work on, so Focus on ourselves. The Prophet ﷺ said,

طُوبى لمنْ شَغَلَهُ عَيبُه عن عُيُوبِ النّاسِ

"Glad tidings to the one who busies himself with (rectifying) his own faults,

Instead of (busying himself) with the faults of others”

(Ahmad, At-Tabarani, Al-Bazzar)

The truth is, if we spent our energy focusing on those, we don’t really have much time to scrutinize others. Because sometimes, talking trash about others is just a red herring to distract us from the accountability of our own shortcomings and taking responsibility of rectifying ourselves. 

And that, is why ibn Sirin used to say that those who had the most time to talk about others, are the people who had the most sins.

Allah Knows best.

"Worst leaders" vs. "Best Leaders" - A personal reflection

In politics, this hadith is often quoted as a bullet to weaponize against leaders and to provoke other people into hating certain leadership figures. But if all we do is use this hadith expose others’ faults without taking any real responsibility to reflect and implement this in our own lives, we have lost the plot, and miss the point of the teachings of sunnah altogether. 

The point of the hadith - in fact, any teaching of the Prophet ﷺ is for us to implement and put into action in our own lives. Not as a tool to blame others or expose their faults. If we have a healthy heart, then reading this hadith from the paradigm of a mu’min (believer) should trigger us to ask the question: “How can I be the best of leaders? How can I ensure that I prevent myself from becoming the worst of leaders?”

Therefore, the REAL questions we should be asking ourselves should first revolve around what is WITHIN our control: Do I love those under my responsibilities? Do I make du’aa for them? Or am I behaving like an entitled leader who’s just sitting around playing victim because THEY don’t love me or supplicate for me? 

On the other hand, am I just complaining and cursing them for their incompetence, lack of respect? Then I have fulfilled “my side” of the “worst leaders” character. And perhaps only a matter of time that they will reciprocate

This hadith talks about a leadership quality which is rarely ever talked about, especially in the world of corporate leadership: Love. People often talk about “loving their leader”, but few ever emphasize the importance of the leader first leading through example by loving their subjects first. 

In practice, what does it mean for leaders to love their subjects? For one, leaders don’t merely view their subordinates or subjects as tools or lifeless pawns to be used to advance their goals, whether corporate or personal agendas. 

Love implies that leaders genuinely respect and care about the well-being, development, welfare, and growth. And they demonstrates that care through their actions. 

Love implies that they behave with empathy and compassion, and in their ambition to advance their organizational cause, they consciously make careful, deliberate decisions with those considerations at heart, with a commitment to endure hardship and inconveniences, including making the occasional unpopular decision that would benefit their people in the long run. 

“Oh, but this sounds so fluffy duffy stuff. How are we supposed to get stuff DONE, if all we’re concerned about being lovey dovey? As leaders, once in a while we need to be tough also”.

Consider the perspective of of the love that we parents have for our children. There are moments where we need to be firm and strict - sometimes against their wishes, convenience and comfort. But for the sincere parent, the foundational intention remains: we don’t act out of revenge or personal glory. We do so out of love. A desire for what’s ultimately best for them and the family. Beyond the convenience that they see right now.  

In an Article published by Forbes, writer Tamiko Cuellar lists down eight ways to show Love to your Staff: 

1. Show Appreciation

2. Offer encouragement

3. Be understanding and flexible when possible, but have firm boundaries

4. Have a listening ear

5. Keep the lines of communication open.

6. Train rather than criticize.

7. Offer support in times of overwhelm.

8. Ask how they are doing, and really mean it

(End quote)

How would you feel about your leader if he or she behaved in this manner? Wouldn’t this, too, inspire love towards their leader? 

On top of love, a true righteous leader goes one step further as a demonstration of that Love: supplicating and making du’aa for their well-being. Wow. How about that.

In reality, of course, it’s not as easy in practice. Just because a leader shows love, doesn’t necessarily mean the love will be reciprocated or appreciated, especially in a capitalistic, self-centred environment or work culture. You might be ignored or criticized, even by others. Perhaps by your own subordinates.

And it’s within these moments that test the sincerity of our leadership: What is MY response if I am tested with their stubbornness or refusal to listen to me? What if my children fail to appreciate my love and care for them?

How would we feel if our subordinates or family members accuse us of being “a terrible father”? Or a “lousy boss”? 

Will we STILL love them and supplicate for them? Or will we slip into victim mode and curse them, and therefore strip ourselves away from the characteristics of the “best of leaders” - and inch closer towards being the worst? Will we put aside our personal emotions, endure the pain, and stick to our values?

It is in these moments that your leadership sincerity is tested, my friend. 

To Love in leadership is easier said than done. But that is the standard we must aspire to achieve. 

“The best of your rulers are those whom you love, and those who love you; they pray for Allah’s blessings upon you and you pray for His blessings for them.

And the worst of your rulers are those whom you hate, and those who hate you, those whom you curse and who curse you.” (Muslim)

May Allah grant us the strength and patience to make us among the best of leaders, and grant us leaders who love us, whom we love too.

MTAQ'22 Hifz Reflections: The beauty lies in the journey, not the destination

 

الحمد لله الذي بنعمته تتم الصالحات

Ibu & Abah got 1st place this year, Alhamdulillah ❤️

But reflecting back on this hifz journey, it’s important to emphasize and remind ourselves that when it comes to Qur’an, what is most important is that we emphasize on process, not outcomes. Efforts, not results.

The greatest blessings in having being able to participate for memorization (Hafazan) in Majlis Tilawah is in “forcing ourselves” to a corner to prepare for it - by constant repetition of the Book of Allah.

What makes us better isn’t the results of a competition per se, it lies in the hours we spend practicing, revising, and strive to improve our craft, by stumbling to get things right, discovering our mistakes, ironing out the quirks, improving upon them, and mentally preparing ourselves for the challenges that lie ahead. There is much outside of our control which we do not yet anticipate (i.e. how nervous we get when we are actually there in the field) - so what we must do is prepare for what is IN our control: Training and preparation.

The following quote sums it best:
“Champions do not become champions when they win the event, but in the hours, weeks, months and years they spend preparing for it. The victorious performance itself is merely the demonstration of their championship character.” - Alan Armstrong

It's befitting also to emphasize an important detail of the following well-known Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ:

خَيْرُكُمْ مَنْ تَعَلَّمَ الْقُرْآنَ وَعَلَّمَهُ

“The best of you are those who learns the Qur'an and teaches is (to others)” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

The wordings used here are in the active tense - LEARNING & TEACHING. The emphasis isn't on your competency levels. Whether you are a beginner or an expert, as long as you are putting in the effort to learn and share what you know along the way, you could still very well be the best amongst mankind in the sight of the Creator, insha Allah. On the other hand, if one is already an “expert”, but have abandoned learning and/or teaching, then he/she is no longer entitled of such an honor. Process, not outcomes.

Naturally, our 4-year old Muawiyah didn’t win. It was his first time as the youngest contestant in a category with a eighteen little dudes competing together. But the focus wasn't to win. The first goal was to create a mission - a quest - to motivate himself to prepare. For the past 2 weeks, every time I offered him, “jom practice nak?” he would always reply with an enthusiastic “nak!”. And to me, that motivation to practice - the process - in and of itself is a huge win

The second goal was to break the ice in order to help him convince himself that “hey, I can actually pull this off”. Despite not being tall enough to reach the mic, he can put up a pretty decent effort beside the big boys, Masha Allah. When asked if he would want to join again, he answered with a confident, “Yup!”

Well done Little Man, on your first steps. Let’s bring our A-Game and do better next year, insha Allah.

Here comes the Little Man - Majlis Tilawah Al-Qur'an PETRONAS MTAQ'22, Wilayah Sarawak @Bintulu.

 

We are super delighted this year because for the first time, our 4-year old Muawiyah joins the list of contents in Hafazan (memorization) - with his abah and ibu! 😍

This year's MTAQ has a really encouraging response, especially in the childrens categories. In Muawiyah's hafazan Kanak-kanak lelaki category alone (under 12, where he was the youngest) there was a whopping eighteen (18) little dudes competing (!) - with the girls having 16 contestants. A good sign for our little ones, Alhamdulillah.. Well done, fellow parents 😊

Surprisingly though, the questions - any four random surah from Juz 'Amma (30) - turned out to be quite challenging for the kids category. Muawiyah got the following list:

1. Al-Fatihah الفاتحة 

2. al-Mutaffifeen المطففين

3. at-Tariq الطارق

4. Al-Inshirah الإنشراح

5. Al-Qariah القارعة

Muawiyah could answer 3 out of 5, Alhamdulillah ❤️

But as a dad, the best part was seeing his response after his turn was over. I could tell he was nervous, but he didn't walk away frustrated or bitter. Instead, the second he walked off from the stage, he left with a big satisfied smile, giving a big high-five to his Ibu.

And when I asked, “was that fun?”, he responded without hesitation: “Yup!”

Want to go again next time?

"Yup!"

Masha Allah, Spoken like a champ, little Man.. 🏆😎.

Results will be announced in today's closing ceremony. Doakan untuk abang kite.. 😍Allahumma barik! 🤲🏽

“That wasn’t me. It was my colleague”: A Lesson in “Customer Focus”

Muawiyah loves these Blueberry Buns. But in one recent purchase, to his disappointment, we found out that there was no Blueberry filling inside. Blueberry bun without blueberry 😅.

So, the next time I went back to the Bakery for my next Blueberry Bun purchase, in the spirit of continuous improvement, I provided my feedback. 

“Ini blueberry bun kan?”

“Ya”

“Oh okay. Dulu saya beli blueberry bun, takde blueberry kat dalam”

She replied, “oh, itu Bukan saya yang buat” (I didn’t make it)

Surprised by her unnecessarily defensive response, I replied, “Takpe lah, tak kisah lah siapa yang buat. Saya nak bagi customer feedback saja, nanti you boleh lah bagitau yang lain” 

I don’t care who did it - I’m just providing my feedback, you can relay to the team. 

Her response?

“Itu kawan saya, Cina tu. Nama dia (insert name here). Dia yang buat” 

Now even more shocked, I emphasized once again: “Oh saya tak kisah pun siapa yang buat. Nanti you bagitau lah you punya manager, lain kali boleh improve customer service bah”

“Tapi bukan saya buat itu”

😂🤔🤯

Oh, boy. Not only did she display total lack of ownership or responsibility, or refuse to acknowledge the feedback in anyway - or even given a “husnu dzon” response (“oh our baker must have forgot, sorry ya”). Even after I described my earnest efforts to help the business, she doubled down on her lack of ownership and threw her colleague under the bus - even going the extra mile mentioning the unnecessary detail of her race. 

And yet there I was, secretly expecting her to go give me a replacement Blueberry Bun. Fat chance 😂. 

But at least we would expect some degree of acceptance like "oh really? Sorry about that" or “thanks for the feedback, “we’ll look into it”. 

Now, we can go on ranting about this particular bakery’s poor customer service, until I came to the brutal realization: Haven’t we witnessed this before (or, perhaps, guilty of doing it ourselves) at the workplace?

Whenever a stakeholder shares their dissatisfaction or constructive feedback about our team deliverables, people are immediately quick to discredit their team or organization. Whether it’s incompetent colleague, ignorant boss, lousy predecessors, crappy procedures, bad handover, or the classic hero/victim story of "diorg sapu taik diorg untuk kitorg cuci", etc. etc. - 1,001 different bullets to incite the “sins of our fathers” or blame other factors to avoid accountability.

At the end of the day, no one takes any responsibility to acknowledge the gaps or take practical measures to improve. Just blaming, finger pointing, verbal backstabbing. Problem amplified. 

This is all-too-familiar workplace culture that we ourselves experience very often. 

This is one important component of professionalism: If we want to see genuine change, we have to take the ownership as a team, to break the cycle. Yes, our predecessors make mistakes. Yes, our procedures and colleagues aren’t perfect. But to the customer, we represent our team. Our organization. It doesn't matter "who" in particular. 

We don’t need to throw anyone under the bus. Just patiently take in the input, acknowledge the shortcomings, and move forward. If we are able to, produce solutions. 

One day, we, too, will be predecessors, and perhaps we, too, will be discredited for our failings. 

What sort of attitude do we expect our successors to have? 

If we aspire for organizations like this bakery to improve professionalism, then we have to play our part first.

Be the change that we want to see.

Best Advice on Subordinate Performance Evaluation: Istikharah

 

Recently, I was having a conversation with a senior colleague about the challenges of performance appraisals and year end reviews, he asked me,
“Do you have subordinates reporting to you?”

“Yes.”

He said, “make sure you do istikharah prayer. We are making decisions that impacts people’s livelihood and rizq (provisions) here”

Wow. Oh man, I needed to hear that. So concise, yet such a profound and rare piece of advice!

Staff Performance Evaluation - to me, this is by far, the MOST difficult job of a manager.

🤔 How do you adequately give credit for a person’s efforts and contributions for an entire year?

🤔 How do you objectively evaluate that a person’s contribution is better than others, especially if they have different job scopes?

🤔 How do you be 100% objective, and completely put aside personal feelings, relationships, biases and preferences? Easier said than done!

🤔 How do you "fight" for your subordinates performance and hold the Fort, while others are picking your team apart and hunting for their flaws on why they are "unworthy"?

🤔 How do you muster the courage to convey tough constructive feedback, or that they failed to meet certain targets, without harming the relationship?

🤔 How do you you do “damage control” in the aftermath, as you confront the disgruntled voices of dissatisfied, frustrated staff who believe they deserve better?

From the Islamic perspective it is genuinely terrifying if we consider that if we don’t deal with this justice, we will be accountable of dzulm (oppression), and our decisions will come and haunt us on the day of judgment.

Furthermore, because it puts so much confidential responsibility on the leaders, evaluating performance often feels so isolating and lonely. It feels like a largely thankless job, especially when it gets such a bad rep from perceptions such as favoritism, leader incompetence or leadership failure to acknowledge contributions, or simply that “managers don’t bother reading your submissions, they already know what to rate you”. And, at the end of the day, no matter what you do, you will always end up with people being dissatisfied - perhaps even enraged - at your decisions. 
It's one of the few work tasks that keep me awake at night, constantly questioning my own judgment, wondering if I did the right thing.

This, my fellow Muslim friends, is why we need to perform istikharah prayer to get the assurance of our decisions.
You don't have to go at it alone. Seek the counsel of Allah through istikharah.

Why DO we pray istikharah in the first place?

In life, we will make difficult decisions - some of which will have a huge impact to others. And this is certainly one of them. And so, we ask Allah for His blessings for the decisions we make, and seek His Wisdom, that if we do make mistakes along the way, to help us make the relevant course corrections.

People typically associate istikharah exclusively in marriage, but in we should do it for every major decision in life - and this was the practice of our righteous predecessors of the past. It was reported that Imam Al-Bukhari would pray istikharah every time he would write a hadith in his Sahih compilation (that’s over 2,000 hadith!)

On a personal level, performing istikharah prayer also helps us build our own self-confidence in our decisions. And self-confidence is SO important so that we don’t cave in under pressure or get paralysed by fear into being undecisive, or cower away into silence by avoiding difficult conversations, such as 1-on-1 feedback exchange, performance conversations, and conveying the results of their performance ratings.

Firstly, by performing istikharah, it clears up our conscience: by opening up to Allah and coming clean, we make it clear that we are striving towards performing this task with ikhlas (sincerity) and ihsan (excellence). That we are not doing this for personal glory, revenge or selfish fulfilment. We are simply doing our job as professionals, and as part of recognizing that our jobs are an aspect of our ibadah (worship), we recognize the importance and responsibility of this heavy burden.

Secondly, it gives a psychological reassurance of our decisions as we progress in executing them, especially if things do progress well. In this du’aa, we ask Allah that “if this decision is good for me for my life in this world and hereafter, then decree it for me, facilitate it for me and bless me in it” - and so when things do progress, it gives us comfort that we are receiving Blessings from the Almighty. And if it doesn’t turn out well or the way we intended? Perhaps it’s a sign to perform some course-correction to rectify  something. And a means to improve and learn.

No decision will ever be perfect. You will make mistakes. And that’s okay. Fact of life: You will never be able to please everyone. Some people will be frustrated, angry, dissatisfied. Even if you do the best job with 100% justice, Some might even hate you forever.

And well, as frustrating as it is.. that’s life.

We just have to own up to our decisions, their consequences, maintain good professional conduct, and keep moving forward. All of these are simply the natural consequences of shouldering the heavy burden of managing people.

The key here is to come with a clean conscience, try your level best, without burning bridges of our personal & professional working relationships.

As always, never forget also to ask Allah to grant us the patience, steadfastness courage to confront these difficult tasks.

All the best to everyone, for your performance evaluations - especially to my fellow managers out there!