15 years in PETRONAS: 15 Career-Defining Events that have significantly impacted and influenced my life

 

As of 18th February 2023, this would be my 15th year since I reported duty in PETRONAS in this building here in Lutong, Miri, Sarawak.

Feels like only yesterday that I was this overweight, heavy-smoking, metalhead, videogamer who just reported for duty - and yet, QaddarAllah, 15 years later, in spite of all the re-organizations and internal changes that took place, somehow, I am still here .

Alhamdulillah, it has been a wonderful experience, and I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to be working in this organization, to collaborate with some of the most amazing professionals in the world, and grow through some of the best life experiences together.

In conjunction with this occasion, I decided to share a list of what I consider to be 15 of the most impactful events and experiences throughout my career. These are events that have had a significant influence and impact in my professional life, many of which also influenced my personality and personal life outside the workplace, too.

In hindsight, I used to wonder what is all the fuss about “years of experience”. When I re-read my own list below, I can see why: it’s through these experiences - good and bad - that we learn valuable life lessons that shape us into better people. As a young graduate, I would have loved to know these “real experiences”, so feel free to share if you find this beneficial - especially to our generations who will enter the workforce.

I excluded experiences from the past 3 years in order to avoid recency bias, to retain a level of anonymity so that it won't be immediately obvious who I am referring to, as well as factoring in the yet-to-be-proven uncertainty of how ‘impactful’ recent events will turn out in the long run.

Here are the summary list of 15 career-defining events:

1. “Akak takde masa!” - When my senior yelled at me, just because I asked her for help while i was struggling to do my first assignment. It was an important early lesson of what NOT to do as a senior, and how NOT to treat other people.

(Side note to my colleagues: she already resigned OK, so don't bother looking her up or guessing who )

2. Uninvited - When our host project team (from the same company) treated us like outcasts with unprofessional hostility. This hostile environment taught me to develop resourcefulness to find alternative means to get work done, effective negotiation, and professionally navigating office politics without burning bridges, and personal resilience to not to allow our emotions - especially toxic co-workers - to get to our heads.

3. Rejected & unwanted: When another department requested a process engineer from our team to be attached full-time to their project, our boss initially refused to release anyone. In the end, after a series of arguments and justifications, they finally agreed. But to cut their losses, they decided to send away the worst-performing process engineer.
That person was me.
Unflattering as it may be, what started off as a throwaway assignment eventually became one the starting point to some of my favorite years of my experience: the privilege to work with a great leader (one whom I consider to be the best boss I've ever had, hands down), collaborate with excellent team members, my first-ever good performance rating, the opportunity to lead projects in spite being a junior engineer, and opened the path to attain my certification as a project management professional (PMP). Not bad for an unwanted, underperforming reject.

4. When Faisal almost resigned - 

At one point of time in my career, I felt I just wasn't made for this oil & gas engineering stuff. I decided I wanted to resign and instead pursue a career in teaching. But I gave myself some time, so I can "beef up my CV", collect professional certifications and end on a high. Turns out that having this sense of urgency supercharged my career and professional development in every area imaginable - and fueled me the much-needed passion I needed for the job that was lacking all these years. That's when I I could make a conscious decision to stay. 

5. Weekend mentorship: 

One time, our senior engineer spent a whole day over the weekend to coach and teach me to prepare for my technical assessment. The one day of coaching was so effective, that it helped me attain the best assessment score in my entire career, immediately got a promotion, and taught me the building blocks on subjects which I eventually became passionate about in teaching others. A little coaching goes a long way.

6. The Garbage Project - 

When my manager assigned me with a waste handling project, and placed so much emphasis that I should “drop everything else and focus on this”, only to have it rejected by the end of the year and completely erased from my year end performance writeup because it was “controversial”. It was an extremely frustrating experience, making me feel that my efforts were a total waste of time. It taught me a leadership lesson on the importance of consistent expectations, being decisive, & being transparent without playing politics.

7. “No, he is competent!”: 

When our partners expressed their lack of confidence in me, my boss put his foot down, yelled at them and shouted "No, he is competent! He is experienced!" It was the first time in my career I felt that my boss believed in me, and I felt inspired with a genuine sense of ownership to live up to high expectations.

8. Discovering my niche: 

Being certified HAZOP Leader - After about 10 years into my career, I managed to obtain a certification in Leading HAZOP (Hazards and Operability Study). I was the first person among the team to obtain this, and because this wasn't our core job, initially I was quite stressed out by the additional burden to my core responsibilities. But - surprise - it turns out that I actually really enjoy it! And being the only one certified, it opened up opportunities to interact with and learn through many different project teams, engineers, SME's and contractors, which eventually gave me a major edge over my peers.

9. “Now you’ve just confused everyone”: After completing a lengthy engineering study, I sent out a long e-mail which detailed out all the necessary technical details for decision-making, feeling pretty proud of myself. In a surprising twist of events, my boss wasn't impressed, and simply said, "now, you've just confused everyone". This set in motion a whole chain of events that forced me to improve my communication and presentation, and eventually became one of my strengths.

A little feedback goes a long way.

10. Crisis! - Being appointed as SME (subject matter expert) member of an investigation team. 

Initially I was really annoyed with this assignment, because of unprofessional behavior: the actual persons in charge couldn't bother to renew his/her offshore safety passport, so I was "forced" to take up this task because I was the only senior who had a valid offshore passport. Unexpectedly, this simple eventually developed into one of the most exciting, thrilling assignments which not only taught me many unique technical knowledge, but also an assignment that put to the test my attitude of collaboration, integrity, and professionalism; especially when I was eventually confronted by leaders who refused to accept my findings because this might result in "making our KPI red".

11. “I am here to develop others” - 

When our boss drove a project to completion, refused to take any credit, and instead push his subordinates to take the awards and the limelight. When his subordinate said that the boss also deserves the credit, he simply replied with a private WhatsApp message: “I’m here to develop others.” How a simple whatsapp message became some of the most inspiring leadership words I've heard in my career - a masterclass of genuine sincerity and humility.

12. The Dream Team - 

Early on in my career, I was assigned to lead a small team of young engineers, some of the most intelligent, energetic and passionate guys. Our boss called us the "Dream Team" - as cheesy as it sounds, we were determined to live up to it. Everyone pulled in their weight to make sure we facilitated the highest level of collaboration, professionalism, cohesiveness. During the year end performance review discussions, one of our team members said, "for the first time in my career, I was actually excited and looking forward to go to work, when I wake up in the morning". It was this strong relationship that motivated us to be a high-performing team who were willing to go the extra mile for each other, and eventually nailed targets we all thought were impossible. Until today, this small team continues to be my personal benchmark of great teamwork and what we can achieve together.

13. Fed up: How we turned the tides of a demoralized team - In one of the years, our team collectively suffered mediocre performances, which resulted in many team members feeling demoralized, and were frustrated with our boss. But I chose to take a risk and something different: walk up to his office, give him feedback directly to his face, which was honest, direct, and more importantly: respectful.l. The conversation turned into one of finding solutions to help build the team. As a result, the tables were turned completely and our team did very well after that.

A little conversation goes a long way.

14. Majlis Tilawah Al-Qur’an (MTAQ): Taking the first step. When I tried to just to "try my luck", I won. When I tried out the Murattal category in 2017, I won first place - totally defying any expectations.

Lesson: You never know what you're capable of, until you try.

15. Contract administrator - 

A task that began as a lengthy, draggy, frustrating assignment early in my career, which I considered as an unappreciated burden. But it turned out to be one of the most valuable long-term experiences in my career, which offered me contracting experience that most of my other process engineering peers didn’t have (and turned out to be immensely helpful when I was a manager), and opened up many opportunities to expand my networking and get to build relationships with teams from other regions. It taught me never to belittle any task assigned to me or jump to negative conclusions too early: you never know how useful and important it will in the future.

(End List)

What you will observe from the above is that the 15 incidents aren’t all necessarily a pleasant experience. In fact, some of them are actually pretty painful. But in hindsight, this is what life is about: all the ups, downs, and everything in between - that’s what shape us into who we are.

It’s not the experience, themselves, that define us: it’s the choices we make, when we are confronted with them. It’s the attitude we adopt to turn these situations into opportunities and valuable learning lessons. From adversity to advantage. It’s those times we are challenged outside of our comfort zone, that’s when we experience the most growth and learning.

These experiences taught me to keep a positive attitude, keep moving when we encounter failures, mistakes and setbacks. Don't get easily disheartened or traumatized just because a few setbacks come our way. Our first few attempts will fail, and that’s okay. Mistakes are never final.

Sometimes, it takes a few failed attempts, a few bad experiences, a few “wrong” people in our path, to finally arrive at a successful outcome. It might take a few lousy seniors before we truly appreciate the gems of great teachers. And sometimes, these bad experiences allow us to appreciate the good experiences when we finally do get to face them down the road.

And in growing stronger from our past setbacks, it gives us the courage to try: to make mistakes, get back up again, try harder, and break new ground.

What I’ve also learnt over the years is the maturity to forgive and let go. When we look back at our experiences, there is no need to hold a grudge or to wait for the opportune moment to strike back. Take the high road and learn to forgive. Yes, they wronged you, and yes, they need to be held accountable for their misconduct - but we don’t need to perpetuate the cycle. Be the change we need. Try to practice empathy to those who have wronged us. Perhaps they have weaknesses and shortcomings of their own. Perhaps they, too, have unresolved issues and demons they’re struggling with. Have empathy, forgive them, move on, and learn from their mistakes: integrate this learnt wisdom when tackling similar situations in the future.

It's also worth noting that this is only a snapshot from my individual experience. They don't necessarily represent the organization as a whole.

In the coming weeks, I hope to be sharing more about these 15 events and shedding more light about the specific, unique lessons I attained from all of them.

My hopes is that this simple sharing has been beneficial to you, and can help you build more resilience, and approach the challenges with more maturity and optimism throughout the course of your career.

May Allah grant us the sabr to continuously improve and learn from our mistake, to endure the challenges of our lives with ikhlas, ihsan, and istiqamah, and allow these experiences to make us amongst the people of hikmah.

The difficult task of Conveying performance ratings

 

When I first took on the role as a manager, my predecessor once advised,

"evaluating performance ratings is the most difficult part of the job"

He's right. 

Of the entire cycle - from evaluation, to deliberation, to justifying proposals - the final step is perhaps the most difficult of them all: conveying their performance ratings. 

I recall a time earlier on in my career, when I asked my manager directly about my ratings. At the time, I was still struggling with my job, constantly facing a stream of mediocre ratings without really knowing or understanding why. When the final performance ratings were out, I went to him and asked, 

"I would like to know my performance rating. And I also want to seek your feedback and advise, how can I improve?"

His legendary response:

"Just wait for the letter."

Frustrated and unhappy at the answer, I insisted, "okay, well can you at least tell me your feedback? I want to know how I can achieve good performance."

"Just wait for the letter."

Then the letter came, and surprise, surprise: another mediocre performance rating. Which, I got to know later, I was among the bottom-ranked people in the team. The letter didn't state any feedback, description or explanation: Just one measly number to cause long term traumatic disappointment and demotivation. 

As expected, my manager never bothered to even speak to me about it. I have no idea what went wrong, why I received this. Why didn't he have the decency to just talk to me or have a conversation? Why treat me like some nuisance that you're obviously trying to avoid? 

This heartbreaking, traumatic incident taught me one important lesson: How NOT to convey this news to your staff. I told myself that if I were to manage people one day, I would never do it like this like a chicken, hiding behind letters to avoid difficult conversations. 

It serves as a reminder to myself and my fellow leaders out there: We need to add the human touch AND treat people like human beings. Be transparent. Own up to your decisions. Bite the bullet.

Of course, it's easier said than done.  

Now I'm in that position of shouldering this responsibility, I can understand and empathize why people avoid it altogether. We tend to avoid difficult conversations. 

It's never easy to convey the news, particularly when people don't quite get the ratings they believe they deserve and fall short of their expectations. Frustration, anger, disappoitment... sometimes you will get attacked and blamed at for their plight.

Instead of avoiding it or whining about a system we can't control, the most mature & professional thing to do is to accept this painful reality for what it is, and to execute our duties to the best that we can within our control: with ihsan and sincerity. 

Here's what I learnt about how we can beat deal with this:

1. Have the Courage to confront difficult conversations 

One of the crucial leadership skills we must develop is the courage to face and endure difficult conversations. Yes, they will express themselves. Yes, it is unpleasant. 

But that's the job. That's why they pay you for the role. Own up to the responsibility and do it well: have the humanity to hold a decent conversation. 

If you avoid these conversations, you will only build in resentment, bitterness, frustration, demoralization, and potentially trigger a cycle of seeking revenge.

2. Keep it straight: Be honest and transparent 

If the staff underperformed, or failed to meet expectations, or what they can learn from others, just be frank about it and say it out. 

Don't come up with lame excuses or vague blanket scapegoats to blame the boogeyman, e.g. "management" gave you this rating. 

3. Be kind

Unpleasant conversations don't have to be confrontational. Keep the tone kind and encouraging, with the commitment to help each other improve. You can't change the feeling of disappointment, but you can show your 

4. Don't drag the conversation 

As much as possible, keep it brief. Don't need to over-explain yourself, come up with long-winded excuses, or be overly apologetic. If they seek clarification, clarify what you can. But after you've conveyed the key points, just end the session, to respectfully Give them time to think and process their emotions. 

5. Patience

At the core of all of these is to remain patient. Be strong, for "the strong person isn't one who overcomes others with his physical strength; rather, the strong person is one who controls himself when he is angry" (Al-Bukhari) 

Share this message to those who may be struggling with this matter. 

May Allah grant us the Sabr to conduct our responsibilities with Sabr, integrity and ihsan. 

Parenting and Mentoring: The 4-step solution in helping your little ones overcome difficult challenges

 

Today was Muawiyah’s first attempts at riding a bicycle without his training wheels. When the day first started, he kept on expressing his frustration about his lack of ability: 

“Kenapa Muawiyah can’t cycle by myself like other big boys?”

And Abah kept convincing him, “yeah, you can insha Allah. Keep trying, you got this!”

I assisted him to get the bike moving before he paddled himself. And after a few quick attempts - which took no longer than a few minutes - he firmly said, “Abah, you don’t need to hold the bicycle. I will do it myself, ok?”

“Alright, Little Man!” 

I had my doubts, but I gotta admit: I admire the confidence. Let’s see what you got.

To my pleasant surprise, he immediately hit it off like a champ. When we took him to the park later in the evening, he was speeding like a boss, as shown here - masha Allah, Allahumma barik. 

I’ve observed that within this one year, throughout his time as a 4-year old, many major development milestones as he learnt to do more and more physical tasks independently by himself: Wearing his seatbelt in his car seat, archery, going to the toilet, completing a whole lego set, getting dressed, washing his hands before meals, brushing his teeth, and today: riding a bike. 

And in all of these tasks, I’ve noticed a common pattern of steps in how we can support them in overcoming difficult challenges. 

Here are the four general steps I’ve found that are applicable in pretty much all circumstances:

1. Help them get rid of self-doubt & Convince them to believe in themselves

2. Gradually wean off assistance until they can learn to be independent

3. Be patient with them as they fail & make mistakes

4. Celebrate the wins together

Generally speaking, I’d say these 4 steps are applicable in all spheres of leadership: including the workplace.

#1 HELP THEM GET RID OF SELF-DOUBT & CONVINCE THEM TO BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES

In the initial failed attempts, our minds are very susceptible and vulnerable from negative self-talk that convince us that we aren’t enough: that we’re not talented

Why do we do this? Ironically, it’s actually our brains trying to protect us: from shame. By convincing ourselves that we are not a certain character, we find a justifiable excuse not to even give it a try, so we don’t have to confront the painful frustration of unsuccessful attempts. 

As mentors, parents, and leaders, we need to play our part to convince them - through our words and our actions - that they DO have what it takes. Provide them the emotional support and encouragement that they need. 

#2: GRADUALLY WEAN OFF ASSISTANCE UNTIL THEY CAN LEARN TO BE INDEPENDENT

In the beginning phases, some hands on supervision - perhaps even spoonfeeding - might be necessary. But as they learn to get the hang of it, we learn to let go bit by bit - even if they might not like it or be comfortable with it. In fact, the more we gradually push them outside of their comfort zone, the more they grow and find their footing.

#3: BE PATIENT WITH THEM AS THEY FAIL & MAKE MISTAKES

This one is important. Complementing Step #1, we need to try to be their emotional pillar of support as they grow. Part of building that connection is by exercising patience as they make mistakes. Their brains are being re-wired here, so try to refrain ourselves from showing our frustration, anger or annoyance when they just “don’t get it”. Try our level best to maintain our cool, our composure, and to keep an encouraging tone of voice. 

Remember: It’s hard enough on them as they doubt themselves; the last thing they need is for them to feel that they are letting you down!

If we’ve built a good connection with them, then chances are, they also have a subconscious desire to please us and keep us happy, as the parent or teacher. Showing frustration might give the wrong message that they are making us upset - and they might feel like giving up altogether, in an attempt to preserve that relationship because they hate seeing us in that negative emotional state. 

#4: CELEBRATE THE WINS, TOGETHER

This one’s my favorite. When they finally get it, make sure you finish on a high: cap off that achievement with a satisfying emotional payoff with your little one. A high five, a fist bump, or my personal go-to war cry: An enthusiastic “Woohoo! That was awesome, little man!”

There are a few reasons behind this crucial finisher: 

Firstly Practical. Celebrating wins is a brainhack towards Sustainable Habit building - “When you celebrate (habits), you create a positive feeling inside yourself on demand. This good feeling wires the new habit into your brain. By feeling good at the right moment, you can cause your brain to recognize and enode the sequence of behaviors you just performed.” (BJ Fogg, “Tiny Habits”)

Our brain is naturally wired to love good emotions. When we deliberately put in celebratory gestures or words that boost positive feels, it gives that extra motivational boost. And by doing so, it sets yourself up for future success, as it subconsciously teaches your brain that “the next time you’re about to attempt something difficult, remember, there’s an awesome waiting for you on the other side, once you get past that learning curve”

Secondly, emotional. By celebrating wins, we build memories, together - celebrating little wins is powerful enough by itself. But imagine the potential power if the PARENT is the one celebrating with them as they develop. We develop that bond, together. That “Abah was super happy” when he nailed that difficult challenge. “Ibu gave me an enthusiastic high five when I finished that Lego all by myself for the first time. As these memories stack up, we continue play a crucial role in their upbringing, as our presence always signifies great milestones.

Overcoming the self-defeating mindset: “Don’t start because you won’t be consistent”

 

Do you have these kind of thoughts plaguing your mind, from time to time? 

In a recent course, a sister asked a question, “Someone told me that I shouldn’t start wearing hijab, because if I do, then I won’t be consistent. Then I would take it off. And then put it back on. It’s as if I’m not taking religion seriously. If you want to do it, do it consistently. Or else, don’t even bother”

Sometimes, we tell this to ourselves, too - “I’d rather not start (insert good habit), because if I’m worried that I won’t be consistent.”

This can be anything, from starting to work out, starting to memorize Qur’an, reading a book, enrolling for a course, publishing content on social media, eating healthy, etc. 

Where does it come from? 

Firstly, perfectionism. “If you aren’t going to be consistent, don’t bother.” 

In that unhealthy striving for perfectionism, we become paralyzed from even taking the first step. In many cases, the root cause of this perfectionism comes down to our own ego: Our need to feel embody the persona that “I am a consistent person”, and to protect ourselves from shame of being a "quitter", “I don’t want to be the kind of ‘hangat-hangat taik ayam’ person who starts something and just gives up”.

It’s an indirect form of “fear of failure” in that we hate to confront the potential reality that we might fail to live up to our own expectations. All of it ultimately leads to the same thing: In our fear of being "inconsistent", we self-sabotage. We use "fear of inconsistency" as an excuse to never even start.

It's one of the traps that Shaitan whispers into our subconscious minds to fool us from taking action.

So, how can we overcome it? 

Firstly, stop giving - and listening to - bad advice. Especially those which discourage you from taking action. 

Secondly, shift our mindset to one that focuses on encouraging progress, not perfection: imperfect is better than zero. In fact, ANYTHING is better than zero.

As author Ismail Kamdar once said, “writing 2 pages of crap is better than not writing anything at all”. 

It’s okay to slip and make mistakes. Just keep moving on. Think of ourselves as babies learning to walk. We will fail, sometimes even fall flat on our face. yes, it hurts. But we stand up, we try again. We learn from past attempts. We improve. We try to be more consistent. 

Sure, we may start something and fall off the rails. Maybe we start our workout routine, or memorizing half a page, or pray tahajjud, start an online course, only to find ourselves quitting after the third session. 

My response to that is, well, at least you’ve done two sessions. Since when has zero sessions been better than two? 

Fine, you’ve stopped reading after page 15. Isn’t 15 pages better than no pages at all?

Get rid of this idea that we must be perfect. (It’s perfectly okay to NOT finish reading a book!)

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”.