Ramadhan : Health Tips and Guidelines

Alhamdulillah, Ramadhan is upon us once again – may Allah accept and grant barakah to all our deeds this month.

The following is a brief sharing on some health tips and guidelines that I personally adhere to, to get the highest level of productivity and efficiency – based on my research, limited knowledge, and proven experience upon practicing them myself. They are by no means exhaustive; rather what I perceive as priorities which I personally adhere to as best I can, bearing in mind to get the best productivity especially during this blessed month of Ramadhan:

Outline:

1. Introduction – Our Health : an Amanah (trust) from Allah
2. Food and dietary guidelines – cut sugar, more fiber/vege/fruits, more protein, exercise restraint
3. Exercise and workout #RamadhanIsNotAnExcuse
4. Stay well Hydrated
5. Managing Sleep

1.    OUR HEALTH : AN AMANAH (TRUST) FROM ALLAH

While we are certainly in constant need for spiritual reminders, we should also be reminded to take care of our own physical health: for, it is with these bodies that we are gifted and entrusted by Allah to worship Him and to perform our duties to seek His Pleasure: for our prayers, reciting Qur’an, giving in charity, conveying da’wah, and so forth.
Our physical body – as robust and versatile as He made it – is the one and only we will ever have, and it is incumbent upon us to fulfill our amanah (trust) to take the conscious decision and efforts to take care of it to make best of its full potential.

The Prophet ﷺ said
 فَإِنَّ لِجَسَدِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا
“Verily, your body has a right upon you” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

In another hadith, he also said
نِعْمَتَانِ مَغْبُونٌ فِيهِمَا كَثِيرٌ مِنَ النَّاسِ، الصِّحَّةُ وَالْفَرَاغُ
“There are two blessings in which most of mankind are cheated of, or incur a loss (maghbun) – good health and free time” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The meaning of ‘maghbun’ literally refers to capital in a business – which, when not utilized carefully, unknowingly ‘disappears’ an eventually incurs a loss and causes regret: by which when the time occurs, may be too late.

Our Prophet also made du’aa (supplication) to Allah the following du’aa – three times in the morning and three times in the evening, every single day :

اللَّهُمَّ عَافِنِي فِي بَدَنِي اللَّهُمَّ عَافِنِي فِي سَمْعِي اللَّهُمَّ عَافِنِي فِي بَصَرِي لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ
“O Allah! Grant me health in my body. O Allah! Grant me good hearing. O Allah! Grant me good eyesight. There is none worthy of worship except You.”
(Excerpt of hadith narrated in Abu Daud, classified hasan by Al-Albani)

Just as we are encouraged to ask Allah six times daily to grant us good health – we must fulfill our side of the bargain and put in the effort.



2. FOOD AND DIETARY GUIDELINES

My priority for my food guidelines in Ramadhan are –
1.    Achieve good satiation, energy levels and feel good throughout the day
2.    Not feel tired or sleepy during taraweeh prayers
3.    Maintain good overall health and well-being

a.    CUT THE SUGAR

In general, reduce – if not eliminate – added sugars from all your food. Refrain from sweetened drinks and fruit juices (Absolutely NO carbonated drinks), and most desserts (with the exception of no sugar added desserts). 

The biggest reason is how sugar can have a direct negative impact upon your worship, especially taraweeh and Fajr prayers.

High amounts of sugar causes a huge spike in your blood sugar – and consdering the rest of the day which you did not have anything to eat or drink, it is likely to come down crashing down really quick – causing us to feel exhausted, lethargic and sleepy : which hits hard during taraweeh, and makes us sleepy immediately after Fajr/Subuh prayers (or na’udzubillah, even before Fajr and make it miss it entirely)

For the same reason I also greatly reduce my intake of other refined carbohydrates (e.g. rice, pasta, bread, pastry) – I still do consume them (hey, I am Malay after all) : just in reduced and moderate quantities.
Sugars and refined carbohydrates are form of ‘quick energy’ – which means that although it quickly fills you up, you also quickly feel hungry not long after (when the blood sugar crashes). Contrast this to a high protein meal (which we will get to later) – you feel full and satiated and filled for much longer.

In replacement your sugary cravings, instead eat more whole fruits – in all its fibrous glory – but not fruit Juices. Fruit juices typically strip away the fiber.

b.    MORE FIBER
In general, increase your fiber intake – fruits, vegetables, beans and nuts.

Fiber supports digestion, controlling your blood sugar, lowering cholestrol levels (according to the American Dietetic Association); plus. Fiber also helps you feel full longer – which is an especially added bonus as far as fasting is concerned. 
Connsistently consuming fruits and vege also means you fill up on those important vitamins and micronutriens/minerals : which is very important in maintaining your overall health and energy levels throughout the day.

My typical staples : broccoli, apples, oranges, pear, carrot, dates, dark chocolate

c.    MORE PROTEIN

Besides being the primary building block for our muscles, Protein makes you feel full for much longer, helping you control hunger and cravings – thus makes you feel better throughout your fasting days. 
Speaking of spikes in blood sugar, studies have also shown that protein can slow down absorption of sugar during a meal – which in turn prevents spikes in blood glucose, hence keeping your appetite and mood in check.

Besides that as well, amongst the three macronutrients – carbohydrates, protein and fat – protein has the highest thermic effect: i.e. the caloric cost of digesting and processing different macronutrients in your diet. Which means that the net caloric value of protein is essentially reduced by 20-35%, which in turn helps keep your weight in check.
Feel full longer and get leaner – nice.

In general, any meats are good sources of protein, but for sahur, some quick and ‘easy’ protein sources are eggs and canned tuna.
It is also worth considering Casein Protein, which is protein extracted from milk and acts as a form of slow-digesting protein : releasing protein into the bloodstream throughout a steady pace of 8-hours after.

d.    EXERCISE RESTRAINT
Last - and certainly not least - is to always exercise restraint, with regards to eating in Ramadhan. Especially during iftar. 

As the cliché saying goes – and hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it – “this is a month of fasting, not feasting”.

On a serious note – Allah says in a hadith qudsy,

يَقُولُ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ الصَّوْمُ لِي وَأَنَا أَجْزِي بِهِ يَدَعُ شَهْوَتَهُ وَأَكْلَهُ وَشُرْبَهُ مِنْ أَجْلِي
“The Fast is for Me and I will give the reward for it, as he (the one who observes the fast) leaves his desires, food and drink for My Sake” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

If we indulge in our eating desires – even if they are ‘halal’ – then we kind of defeat the purpose of fasting : which is training to restrain ourselves.
Now having said that, there is no harm at all in eating nice foods: but eat healthy and in moderation.
We should have a paradigm shift and minset change with regards to eating : As much as food is “pleasure” to us, we should think of food as a means of providing essential nutrients and fueling our worship.

So do not fill your body up with junk or non-nutritious stuff – as they say, ‘empty calories’. Eat whole foods (i.e. “real food” - Google this up to get more info). As engineering people like to speak about their simulation tools : “Garbage in, garbage out”

And moderation is key. In Ramadhan we have a tendency to stuff in a lot of food during iftar – and without knowing it, those calories can easily stack up and ironically cause weight GAIN. So be wary of what you consume; you don’t necessarily have to track your calories (though that does help), but take it easy, brother : Remember, it takes time for your food to digest for you to feel satiated – so keep calm, eat and drink in moderation as theProphet Muhammad ﷺ advised:

مَا مَلأَ آدَمِيٌّ وِعَاءً شَرًّا مِنْ بَطْنٍ بِحَسْبِ ابْنِ آدَمَ أُكُلاَتٌ يُقِمْنَ صُلْبَهُ فَإِنْ كَانَ لاَ مَحَالَةَ فَثُلُثٌ لِطَعَامِهِ وَثُلُثٌ لِشَرَابِهِ وَثُلُثٌ لِنَفَسِهِ
“The son of Adam does not fill any container that is worse than his stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to eat what will support his back. If this is not possible, then a third for food, a third for drink, and third for his breath." (Narrated by At-Tirmidzi)

This is precisely why we rarely ever go to Ramdhan Bazaars unless absolutely necessary. Going to Ramadhan bazaars in that state of thirst/hunger after Asar, looking at all those yummy rare foods that ironically only appear during the month of Ramadhan – you have a tendency to let loose “the halal desires within”: and you end up with overeating, or worse yet : wastage. 

Remember, Allah says:

وَكُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا وَلَا تُسْرِفُوا ۚ إِنَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ الْمُسْرِفِينَ
“And eat and drink – but do not be extravagant. Indeed, He (Allah) does not Love those who are extravagant” (Surah Al-A’raf, verse 31)

وَلَا تُبَذِّرْ تَبْذِيرًا ﴿٢٦﴾ إِنَّ الْمُبَذِّرِينَ كَانُوا إِخْوَانَ الشَّيَاطِينِ ۖ وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِرَبِّهِ كَفُورًا
“And do not spent wastefully – verily those who are wasteful are the brothers of the Shayatin. And Shaytan is ever ungrateful to His Lord” (Surah Al-isra, verse 26-27)

Also a word of advice on iftar buffet meals - be very wary of the timing, especially with regards to our obligatory prayers of Maghrib and isha. There is a tendency we miss our jamaah prayers attending these buffets : especially isha prayers, so you want to make sure you don't fall into this trap. 
Our 5-daily obligatory are our utmost priority (even more so than the fasting itself) - so don't allow your food indulges to compromise with regards to this matter!





3.    STAY HYDRATED

It is very important to stay well-hydrated throughout the non-fasting evening period. These are the guidelines I follow:

• Minimum : 2-3 litres of plain water per day, if not more.
• At least 500mL – 1 litre during iftar (before maghrib, before dinner)
• Try to refrain drinking during dinner itself to avoid stomach upset
• Have at least 1 litre of water accessible during taraweeh – drink sips in between salams
• At least 500mL before sahur meal
• Refrain from sweet/sugary drinks

What makes us tired and lethargic during the days of fasting isn’t the lack of food – rather, it’s dehydration and lack of water.

Since October 2016, I have been implementing Intermittent Fasting (IF) and I have been doing this every day (besides the Islamic shar’i fasts such as in Ramadhan). During this >1.5 years of IF – I would fast between 16 – 22 hours a day every day; however the biggest difference between IF and the Islamic shar’ie Fasting is that in IF, you can drink water and non-caloric beverages, such as black coffee and green tea. And what I did realize is, if you maintain well hydrated throughout the day, you actually don’t really feel very hungry or tired – even after 20 hours of not eating anything.
In contrast with the Islamic fasting in Ramadhan, where we only fast for about 13 to 14 hours, there is a tendency to feel weak and exhausted by the afternoon. The only real difference here is the hydration, so the key is to maintain that well.

Some other tips which others advise (though I haven’t tried them long enough to vouch for their effectiveness) :

• Reduce foods high in sodium – sodium triggers thirst
• Eat foods that are high in potassium (e.g. bananas) – potassium provides essential electrolytes to retain water and suppress thirst
• Eat fruits high in water content (e.g. watermelon)

4.    EXERCISE AND WORKING OUT #RamadhanIsNotAnExcuse

Exercise! Ramadhan is not an excuse, my friend. These are some guidelines I follow:

• Keep exercises short in duration (less than 45 minutes). Too long duration will leave you feeling dehydrated and exhausted - and tired during taraweeh prayers later the evening. Some simple suggestions: short HIIT workouts such as 7-minute workout or Tabata workout (many routines available for free online) – these are very practical: short and easy to follow, do not require any additional equipment
• Best time to exercise : after Asar, before maghrib (i.e. aim to finish not long before iftar). Night time : not an option, leave the nights only for meals (iftar/dinner/sahur), worship and sleep. Morning : not recommended, may leave you feeling thirsty, dehydrated and spoil your day.
• Lessons learnt : no long distance running / jogging – feel very dehydrated
• Focus on strength + cardio – I personally follow bodyweight training following the Freeletics Bodyweight app which reaps the benefits of both
• Many people advise against going high intensity, but I personally don’t see an issue – unless you haven’t been used to it, don’t start now

Yes, exercise in Ramadhan isn’t only doable – it is highly recommended. As Sheikh Assim pointed out, it is actually very common in Saudi Arabia for 50-plus year old men to be playing basketball for hours while fasting. Heh.

I experimented exercise in Ramadhan since 2016, beginning with simpler workouts (7-minute workout), then ramping up the difficulty with multiple sets, before going full-swing HIIT circuits in 2017 – comprising of bodyweight workouts such as pushups, squats, pull-ups, burpees and so on.

Having said that however, if you are not used to high intensity workout, I do not suggest you start in Ramadhan, as it may take a toll on your body – take light walks and do light cardio instead. Your priority is your worship.  
 
Interestingly, I found myself feel less hungry after a workout (Probably the adrenaline rush?). The only real challenge is the overcoming the mental barrier to stop procrastinating and START the workout. 


Working out after Asar – towards the end of your fast – also has added fat loss benefits. After 11-12 hours of fasting and depleting your glycogen stores (your sugar/quick energy sources), your body starts switching to its fat stores to utilize ketone as the energy sources – i.e. fat burning. Allahu Akbar.

It is also worth addressing regarding a common myth or worry regarding muscle loss during fasting. Studies have shown that fasting in fact results in the body secreting elevated levels of Human Growth Hormone (HGH) – which not only preserves lean muscle, but actually helps to BUILD muscle with the right nutrition.




5.    MANAGING SLEEP: GET AS MUCH SLEEP AS REASONABLY PRACTICAL
And herein lies one of the most difficult challenges in Ramadhan : managing your sleep times. On one hand, we need a good amount of quality sleep every night to maintain good health – and function ‘normally’ the following day. On the other hand, this is practically very difficult to achieve as Ramadhan nights are also the busiest – with the iftar, taraweeh and sahur.
Here are some guidelines I live by:

• Night times are reserved for four things : eating, sleeping, worship, and family chores. No social media, newspapers, chit chat, or other entertainment time-wasters.
• Try to get a good 5-6 hours at night
• Take short power naps in the afternoon where possible (i.e. Qaylula) – after zuhur. Power naps only, do not exceed 20-30 minutes: you’ll wake up feeling fresh and energized. Sleeping more than this duration might get us into deep sleep and by the time we wake up we feel groggy, unsatisfied and hungrier. This kind of naps – Qaylula – isn’t only a sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, but in fact is something he himself recommended. He said:

قِيلوا فإن الشياطين لا تُقِيلُ
“Take afternoon naps (Qaylula) – for verily, shaytan does not perform qaylula” (Narrated by Abu Nu’aim in At-Tibb; graded hasan by Al-Albani)

• As much as possible, refrain from sleeping after Fajr prayers – I noticed that when sleeping on a filled stomach (i.e. sahur) in the morning, it is very tiring to wake up and feels terrible afterwards: feeling both sleepy and hungry: sometimes for the rest of the day
• If necessary to sleep in the morning, go ahead but try not to do so immediately after Fajr (especially on weekends/holidays) – complete some daily chores and delay it slightly before hitting the bed

The dilemma, of course, lies in trying to balance healthy amount of sleep and to also maximize the blessings (barakah) of this month by waking up earlier and performing acts of worship during the hours of ashar (the last third of the night) – for Allah informs us of the Muttaqun (the people of taqwa / righteousness), their habit was :

كَانُوا قَلِيلًا مِّنَ اللَّيْلِ مَا يَهْجَعُونَ وَبِالْأَسْحَارِ هُمْ يَسْتَغْفِرُونَ
“They used to sleep but little by night [invoking their Lord (Allah) and praying, with fear and hope]. And the ashar (in the final hours before dawn, i.e. the last third of the night), they ask (Allah) for forgiveness” (Surah Adz-Dzariyat, verse 17-18)

This holds especially through for the Last 10 nights of Ramadhan – where it is highly encouraged for us to spend the nights in worship as per the practice of the Prophet.

I find that if the best practical solution and advice is to take leave for the sake of Alllah : start your  leave early before Eid so you can make the best of the final few nights –
This is in contrast to the practice many people do which is to take long leave AFTER Eid: when you just spend your days eating. And eating.



So these are some of the  basic health tips and guidelines I follow throughout Ramadhan. 

I am sure that this will have some tweaks as I learn more on the subject matters. Please do add suggestions if you have any – and share if you find this beneficial. 

May Allah continually grant good health to us all to fulfill our obligations and grant us the capability to make the best of this month to maximize in acts which He is Pleased with - and may Allah grant acceptance and barakah to all our good deeds and make us amongst the people of taqwa. Amin.


أبو معاوية

-AM.FAL-

"We have named him : Muawiyah (سَمَّيْنَاهُ : مُعَاوِيَةُ)"

Alhamdulillah – all Praises and thanks to Allah – after eight years of Honeymoon * with the wifey, Allah had granted us with our very first child, a baby boy, on 16^th February 2018.

* Our optimistic “glass-is-half-full" terminology as opposed to the common term of “trying” or “waiting”

After much deliberation and discussion which began even prior to his birth, we had decided to name him Muawiyah, after one of the great leaders amongst the companions of The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Muawiyah bin Abi Sufyan bin Harb معاوية بن أبي سفيان بن حرب  (radhiAllahu anhuma).

It is worth noting that there are other companions who are also named Muawiyah – another notable one being Muawiyah Al-Hakam as-Sulami, who narrated the famous hadith on his slave girl who was asked “where is Allah?” https://sunnah.com/muslim/5/39.

So, who is Muawiyah bin Abi Sufyan?

He was amongst the few companions who was literate throughout the lifetime of the Prophet ﷺ, and due to his trustworthiness, intelligence and loyalty, he was hence selected to be one of the official scribers of the Qur’an throughout the lifetime of the Prophet : and mind you, the monumental task of being a scriber for the Final Revelation of Allah to mankind until the Day of Judgment, is nothing to scoff at. The Prophet himself was illiterate (could not read or write) just as many of his other companions, hence had to entrust his scribers to truthfully put the Qur’an into written form, acknowledging this will layout the foundations and blueprint that will be preserved as a guidance for mankind.

Muawiyah was also the companion who narrated this famous hadith narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim – which was a source of inspiration to me when I first learnt the sunnah, and continues to be inspirational to me till this day. Muawiyah narrated that the Prophet said,

مَنْ يُرِدِ اللَّهُ بِهِ خَيْرًا يُفَقِّهْهُ فِي الدِّينِ،

“Whomsoever Allah Wishes good for, He grants him an understanding of the religion;

وَإِنَّمَا أَنَا قَاسِمٌ وَيُعْطِي اللَّهُ،

I am only a distributor – the One who grants (the understanding) is Allah

وَلَنْ يَزَالَ أَمْرُ هَذِهِ الأُمَّةِ مُسْتَقِيمًا حَتَّى تَقُومَ السَّاعَةُ، أَوْ حَتَّى يَأْتِيَ أَمْرُ اللَّهِ

And there will never cease to be from my ummah (my nation) – a group of people who remain upright upon the Straight Path, until the Day of Judgment – or until the Order of Allah comes” https://sunnah.com/bukhari/96/43

The Prophet ﷺ would supplicate and make Du’aa to Allah for Muawiyah:

" قَالَ لِمُعَاوِيَةَ "اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْهُ هَادِيًا مَهْدِيًّا وَاهْدِ بِهِ

“O Allah, make him a guide (i.e. a person who guides others), one who is rightly guided, and guide (others) by him." (Narrated by At-Tirmidzi who graded it Hassan https://sunnah.com/urn/737270)

This du’aa in itself is so inspiring in its vision and meaning : And as we all know, the blessed supplication of the Prophet is accepted.  I always make this du’aa to my son.

What makes Muawiyah bin Abi Sufyan a “guide”? Beyond the qualities stated above, Muawiyah was a very capable leader: quick-witted, wise, and was very skilled in the art of leadership and managing conflict.

He was one of the few leaders amongst the companions who held the position of leadership for a very long duration. He was the only person who had maintained his position of leadership as governor / leader of state throughout the caliphate of all four Khulafa Ar-Rasyidin – Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, even Ali : inspite of the civil war that ensued, he was never ‘fired’ from office. Which is interesting when you put things into perspective of politics today : how many political leaders today do you know of maintained their political leadership throughout four offices of rule, and not be affected by ‘cabinet reshuffling’ due to any miscellaneous reasons? 

How many ministers in Malaysia’s cabinet today are still in office since previous two prime ministers? Food for thought. No political agendas here. 

For a person to maintain that position for so many different offices – in spite of the internal conflict and turmoil that occurred throughout the years – showcases an empowerment bestowed to an individual and highlights his competency, trust and leadership qualities of that individual. 

The peak of his leadership capability truly manifest himself when when Hassan bin Ali bin Abi Talib gave up his position of Caliphate, pledged Muawiyah bin Abi Sufyan as the legitimate Khalifah – and the entire Muslim nation subsequently agreed to based on consensus. Immediately after Hassan’s actions, the civil war had ended between the Muslims and all had united under one banner of leadership. This is exactly what was prophesized by the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ regarding Hassan,

ابْنِي هَذَا سَيِّدٌ وَلَعَلَّ اللَّهَ أَنْ يُصْلِحَ بِهِ بَيْنَ فِئَتَيْنِ مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ

“This (grand) son of mine is a Leader, and Perhaps – Allah may make peace and unite two groups of Muslims through him” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari https://sunnah.com/bukhari/92/56) 

Little known to many people, Muawiyah ruled as Khalifah for twenty years: and within those twenty years, there was peace and tranqullity throughout the Muslim nation : not a single event of civil war or internal strife – in spite of the massive turmoil that existed prior to his Caliphate.

Imam Ibnu Kathir – the famous commentator (mufassir) of the Qur’an – said in his book Al-Bidayah wan-Nihayah :

“All the Muslims unanimously agreed to swear allegince to him in 41 AH, and he remained in charge throughout this period until the year in which he died. Throughout this period Jihaad was ongoing in the lands of the enemies, and the Word of Allah remained supreme, and booty was coming to him from the ends of the earth; the Muslims were at ease, enjoying justice, tolerance, and goodwill. He was forbearing, dignified, a leader, prominent among people, noble, just, and a man of chivalry. He was a man of good conduct, forgiving, tolerant and overlooking the mistakes of others - may Allah have mercy upon him.” (al-Bidaayah wan-Nihaayah, 8/118)

There are also authentic narrations indicating that the Prophet guaranteed Muawiyah to be amongst the people of Paradise: Muawiyah was the very first khalifah to advane the nation to arrange the very first naval expedition (i.e. by sea) – hence being the leader responsible for opening the door for his ummah to be the People of Paradise. The Prophet said,

أَوَّلُ جَيْشٍ مِنْ أُمَّتِي يَغْزُونَ الْبَحْرَ قَدْ أَوْجَبُوا

“Paradise is granted to the first batch of followers who will undertake a naval expedition.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari https://sunnah.com/bukhari/56/137)

And it is further explained by Anas bin Malik that - فَرَكِبَتِ الْبَحْرَ زَمَانَ مُعَاوِيَةَ - this very first naval expedition was undertaken during the rule of Muawiyah (Narrated by Al-Bukhari https://sunnah.com/bukhari/79/56).

The famous Shafi’I scholar Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani, in his book Fathul-Bari (the commentary of Sahih Al-Bukhari) mentioned :

“Muhallab said : In this hadith there is a virtue of Muawiyah, because he was the first to invade the sea”.

Having said all that, Muawiyah bin Abi Sufyan is also amongst one of the most misunderstood – and often distorted – figures in history. Many enemies of Islam have tried to undermine him, slander and defame him – especially the shi’ah, and other poitical factions with hidden agendas – spreading conspiracies and fabricating slander about Muawiyah’s so-called lust for power and manipulative skill at playing the “Game of Thrones”. These filthy fabrications exist in books and continues to poison the minds of people throughout the internet today; and unfortunately many people – including Muslims out of their ignorance in recognizing true authentic source of information in history – also fall victim to these conclusions. And unfortunately as well – in our own high school textbooks has some negative writings about him (which I was told was subsequently removed/corrected).

The truth is, Muawiyah is such an important figure that he has become the criterion to distinguish the correctness of a person’s faith : whether he is indeed amongst the Ahlus Sunnah (i.e. the People of the Sunnah).

A person asked the great tabi’I scholar, Abdullah Ibn al-Mubarak: who is better, Muawiyah bin Abi Sufyan or Khalifah Umar Bin Abdul Aziz ?

He answered :

و الله إن الغبار الذي دخل في أنف معاوية مع رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أفضل من عمر بألف مرة

"I swear by Allah, the dust that entered the nose of Muawiyah in the company of the Prophet ﷺ is better than Umar Bin Abdul Aziz, a thousand times (of Umar)! " (البداية والنهاية لابن كثير 11/450)

https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/general/the-lounge/277329-the-great-mu-awiyah-may-allah-be-pleased-with-him

An attack to Muawiyah is akin to an attack to the companions of the Prophet ﷺ as a whole,

قال عبد الله بن المبارك رحمه الله : معاوية عندنا محنة ، فمن رأيناه ينظر إليه شزراً اتهمناه على القوم ، يعني الصحابة  (البداية والنهاية  (8/139))

Abdullah bin Al-Mubarak said :

“Muawiyah is a test for us: who looks towards him in disregard, we accuse him of having a misguided opinion in the Companions of the Prophet (as a whole)” – Al-Bidayah Wan-Nihayah, 139/8

And an attack to the companions is basically to against the Ahlus Sunnah as it is a precursor to kufr (disbelief), because Allah had promised – GUARANTEED – the companions with Paradise :

وَالسَّابِقُونَ الْأَوَّلُونَ مِنَ الْمُهَاجِرِينَ وَالْأَنْصَارِ وَالَّذِينَ اتَّبَعُوهُمْ بِإِحْسَانٍ رَضِيَ اللَّـهُ عَنْهُمْ وَرَضُوا عَنْهُ وَأَعَدَّ لَهُمْ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي تَحْتَهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا أَبَدًا ۚ ذَٰلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْعَظِيمُ

“And those who were first and foremost, from amongst the Muhajirun (Emigrants) and Ansar (helpers in the cause of the Prophet) – and those who follow them in goodness : Allah is Pleased with them, and they were Pleased with Him.

And He has prepared for them Paradise, for which rivers flow beneath – they reside therein forever.

That is the Great Success” (Qur’an, surah At-Taubah, verse 100)

Suffice to say, we pray Allah opens our hearts to learn the true history of His righteous slaves, and that we harbor no ill-feelings or hatred against any companion of the Prophet; to be amongst those whom Allah says :

وَالَّذِينَ جَاءُوا مِنْ بَعْدِهِمْ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا الَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِالْإِيمَانِ وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِي قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَءُوفٌ رَحِيمٌ

“And those who came after them (the companions), they say :

Oh Our Lord! Please forgive us and our brothers who have preceded us in faith.

And DO NOT place in our hearts any hatred or spite against those people of faith, oh our Lord!

You are the Most Kind, Most Merciful” (Surah Al-Hasyr, verse 10)

And with all that in mind, we pray that Allah grants us a healthy, righteous son in Muawiyah bin Faisal – May Allah endow him with the positive traits of Muawiyah bin Abi Sufyan. Allahumma barik.

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْهُ هَادِيًا مَهْدِيًّا وَاهْدِ بِهِ

“O Allah, make him a guiding one (i.e. a person who guides others), one who is rightly guided, and guide (others) by him.”

Amin, ya Rabb..

The Most Impactful Personal Experience of 2017: A Difficult Encounter

Alhamdulillah 2017 has come to an end. For most people, myself included, if they are asked to list out the most impactful and meaningful experiences throughout the year, it will most likely be a list of achievements, pleasant surprises, perhaps reunions with friends or family, perhaps an exciting vacation, and so on.

And wAlhamdulillah, no doubt Allah has been Gracious to us and we have indeed had our fair share of those.
But if I were to single out ONE experience that had the most IMPACT to me as a person – that experience is an unpleasant, in fact rather nasty one: when a 19-year old kid verbally abused me and humiliated me in a public masjid.
While it might seem like a grim and rather bleak choice, in hindsight, objectively speaking, it was the one that had the most impact and effect on me as a human being – that had a deep and profound impact to my character and realization of myself as a person, shaped my perception on people, offered new perspective on other people’s perception.


This happened in June 2017, towards the end of Ramadhan – when out of nowhere, this unknown person started to attack me, hurling relentless insults at my character, accusing me of being a deviant, calling me names like Wahabi and making all sorts of derogatory remarks on my personal Facebook page, and also one of our Facebook group pages.

The surprising thing was, when I looked at his Facebook profile, I recognized him – it was a teenage boy who I frequently saw at the masjid, always together with the brothers and uncles of the Jamaah Tabligh. While I’ve never spoken to him before, I always had a respect for him and held him in high regard, as a person his age to frequently pray at the masjid when many peers at his age wouldn’t even pray.
Which was kind of a shock to me that, despite never having a conversation with me, he decides to break the ice by literally burning down the relationship bridges – and decides to do it as a keyboard warrior on social media, instead of being honest and upfront about it face-to-face like a civilized man.

As I was in a state of shock, I knew that I had to think long and hard before I posted a reply, and not just blast out an emotional defensive response. I have always held to the personal principle that social media is not a platform for debate or argument; to use it wisely and for benefit of others. Restraining your emotions is a lot more difficult than releasing them, and indeed there is great strength and virtue in restraint. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said :

لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ، إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ
"The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the (truly) strong is the one who controls himself while in anger." (HR Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

.. And this was when my principles were being put to the test. In spite of the clear impoliteness and insolence shown, Allah granted me strength in me to give him the benefit of doubt that “perhaps he has the wrong person”, or is in some kind of misunderstanding.

And wAlhamdulillah – in spite of the shock and burning rage – I responded professionally, giving him salams, and politely asking him can we meet up to discuss face-to-face at the Masjid after Fajr (subuh / dawn prayers) the following day, and resolve any misunderstanding – and that Facebook is only a medium of communication. He responded rudely, saying he will bring his “ustaz” to defeat me and refute MY “misunderstanding”, etc, to which I simply replied “Insha Allah =)” with a smiley emoticon
(side meta-note : thank God for emoticons, my actual face and state of mind was furious).

Screenshot of FB comments

It bothered and disturbed me the entire night, but Alhamdulillah it gave me time to reflect back and think about the kind of potential attacks he might hurl at me, and to prepare accordingly on how I can respond in a wise manner.

I prayed Fajr at the masjid the following morning, and as I was sitting quietly to myself reciting the morning dzikir, after most of the congregation had dispersed, a small boy – around 5-6 years old – came up to me and says “so-and-so wants you to go and see him”.
Now, it is kind of insulting for a teenager to act like a CEO or king, pick a fight with someone, and send a 5-year old bold to summon a 33-year old man who is quietly minding his own business in worship at the masjid.
I simply replied to the boy, “if he wants to see me, he can come here as we promised”.

The 19-year old eventually came. I gave him salams, introduced myself – and the conversation started: he opened fire on all cylinders.
The boy was arrogant, insolent and emotional, calling me names, attacking my character, insulting my friends, hurling baseless accusations at me, accusing me for things I did not do, judging me for things that OTHER people do, etcetera.
I have never been insulted by any other grown up adult – let alone an ignorant boy – in such a manner, not even at the office.

I will spare the details but in summary :  I swear by Allah, it was the most hostile, prejudiced, biased, and aggressive conversation I have experienced against me in my whole life.
Mind you, this was in a masjid towards the end of Ramadhan – among the most beloved and blessed places to Allah, during the most beloved and blessed times of the year.

Nevertheless I am glad that Allah Guided me to respond well, for the most part. At the end of the 90-minute ‘conversation’ (or should I call it merciless onslaught), he simply lashed out at me and rudely stormed out.

Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli Hal, he deleted his derogatory comments on my Facebook. And a few days later, QaddarAllah, just so happen he prayed beside me for Maghrib, wherein after that he apologized to me, and since he did that, I choose to conceal his identity and keep this between me, him and Allah – and only the few close family and friends I consulted – and I am not going to question his “intentions” behind it.


Here are the reasons why this encounter was the most “Impactful” Experience of the 2017 –


1. A HUMBLING EXPERIENCE


Whenever I narrate this incident in detail to the few people close to me, most of them feel enraged at the kind of disrespect this teenage kid had towards me, and how much of a humiliating scenario it was, especially at a public place at the masjid – in one of the houses of Allah.

But when we reflect back at the life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, he was treated with far worse – in fact, the worst levels of disrespect or disgrace faced by a human being. And it wasn’t a one-off incident, either – it happened on multiple occasions from many different people in different levels of society. One of the worst incidents was the incident at Ta’if – when he called the people to worship one God. The leaders not only rejected him, but they dishonored him in front of the masses, and incited the little children to throw stones at him and drive him away like a lowly animal, subhanAllah – until his feet were bleeding and blood started to gel on his sandals.

And yet, when the angel Jibril came and appeared to him, he offered to him,
“إِنَّ اللَّهَ قَدْ سَمِعَ قَوْلَ قَوْمِكَ لَكَ وَمَا رَدُّوا عَلَيْكَ، وَقَدْ بَعَثَ إِلَيْكَ مَلَكَ الْجِبَالِ لِتَأْمُرَهُ بِمَا شِئْتَ فِيهِمْ، فَنَادَانِي مَلَكُ الْجِبَالِ، فَسَلَّمَ عَلَىَّ ثُمَّ قَالَ يَا مُحَمَّدُ، فَقَالَ ذَلِكَ فِيمَا شِئْتَ، إِنْ شِئْتَ أَنْ أُطْبِقَ عَلَيْهِمِ الأَخْشَبَيْنِ”
'Allah has heard your people's saying to you, and what they have replied back to you, Allah has sent the Angel of the Mountains to you so that you may order him to do whatever you wish to these people.'

The Angel of the Mountains called and greeted me, and then said, "O Muhammad! Order what you wish. If you like, I will let Al-Akh-Shabain (i.e. two mountains) fall on them (and destroy them)."

The Prophet Muhammad’s response was

 بَلْ أَرْجُو أَنْ يُخْرِجَ اللَّهُ مِنْ أَصْلاَبِهِمْ مَنْ يَعْبُدُ اللَّهَ وَحْدَهُ لاَ يُشْرِكُ بِهِ شَيْئًا
"No.. instead, I hope that Allah will let them have CHILDREN – the future generations – who will worship Allah Alone, and will worship None besides Him." 
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

This was peak levels of mercy, optimism and patience achievable by a human being. Look at the context of this incident – here was a 50-year old man, the most honourable human being in the sight of Allah, carrying the most honourable mission to invite mankind to worship God Alone without Associating partners with Him, humiliated by little children pelting stones at him, he had all the right in the world to exact revenge without consequence.

And who am I to think that I “deserve” respect from a foolish 19-year old boy who simply acted on his emotions based on others’ slanderous prejudice?

The Prophet said,
 وَمَا تَوَاضَعَ أَحَدٌ لِلَّهِ إِلاَّ رَفَعَهُ اللَّهُ
“..and the one who shows humility, Allah raises him (in rank, in His Sights).” (Narrated by Muslim)

Taking a step back as well, it was a powerful reminder on humility as a whole, and a reminder regarding the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ as the prime example of humbleness and the undefeatable benchmark amongst mankind. Despite being the leader of Arabia, having access to all the riches in his national treasury and the armies of the land at his feet, he consistently demonstrated a deliberate decision to live a simple, unassuming life

• Disbelievers would attack him and he would still patiently listen and endure their verbal abuse
• Even an old woman by the street would grab him to help her to do her simple chores, and he would not refuse nor assign his subordinates instead
• A rude bedouin man would demand to take the Prophet’s personal belongings, literally even the clothes on his back, and he would not refuse
• He would be on the ground with his companions to do the ‘dirty work’ – to the extent of sometimes himself starving even more than the poorest of companions
• He would sit by his gatherings and be unrecognizable from the others – he never wore special or distinct clothing from the rest.

..And countless other examples. Who are WE to consider ourselves superior?

 لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّـهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّـهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّـهَ كَثِيرًا
“There has certainly been for you an example in the Messenger of Allah, for those who hope in Allah and the Last Day and Remember Him much” (Qur’an surah al-Ahzab, verse 21)


2. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

Every argument is a learning process, that I personally use to evaluate my own character, identifying room for improvement and enhancement, and mentally preparing myself for similar incidents that may happen in the future.
Perhaps this is one wisdom behind why the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said,

إِنَّ الْمُسْلِمَ إِذَا كَانَ مُخَالِطًا النَّاسَ وَيَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ خَيْرٌ مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِ الَّذِي لاَ يُخَالِطُ النَّاسَ وَلاَ يَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ
“Indeed when the Muslim mixes with the people and he is patient with their harm, he is better than the Muslim who does not mix with the people and is not patient with their harm.'"
(HR At-Tirmidzi, dinilai sahih oleh Al-Albani)


While I have had my fair share of heated arguments at the workplace, it is important to note that the nature of argument is completely different. In a professional environment, as high as the emotions run, the goal is often to come to an agreement to fulfill an organizational vision together. But when you’re dealing with an immature, ignorant, teenage hothead filled with hatred – it’s a different beast entirely. The person isn’t looking for answers, clarification or the truth – that person is out for blood.
When taking into perspective the following hadith, this incident was indeed my very own personal strength test – the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
 لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ، إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ
“The strong person is not the one who overcomes others by his physical strength,
Rather, the (truly) strong person is the one who controls himself in a state of anger” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The repeated verbal abuse I endured was one that put my restraint willpower to the test. As demonstrated throughout the life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ who dealt with countless more insolent antagonistic disbelievers, it taught us that dealing with these kinds of people requires a different kind of skill – you can’t fight fire with fire, that will only make things worse. Instead, either keep silent, or for the one with true strength in character such as the Prophet: to respond with kindness, as Allah said in the Qur’an :

وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ
“The good deed is not equal to the evil deed – repel the evil deed with what is best,
And then (if you do so, you will find that) the one with whom you had harbored enmity will be as though he is your close friend!” (Qur’an, Surah Fussilat, verse 34)

And we indeed see throughout the lifetime of the Prophet he did indeed displayed this behavior – and many of his sworn enemies eventually became his closest friend – one such person is Thumamah bin Uthal Al-Hanafi, who said,
 يَا مُحَمَّدُ وَاللَّهِ مَا كَانَ عَلَى الأَرْضِ وَجْهٌ أَبْغَضَ إِلَىَّ مِنْ وَجْهِكَ فَقَدْ أَصْبَحَ وَجْهُكَ أَحَبَّ الْوُجُوهِ كُلِّهَا إِلَىَّ
“O Muhammad! I Swear by Allah, there was no face on this Earth who was more hated to me than your face, but now your face has become the most beloved of all faces to me” (Narrated by Ibnu Majah, graded sahih)

But of course, let’s be honest: to fight evil with kindness, this is certainly NOT an easy task to achieve – which is why Allah mentioned in the following verse after above,
وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ
“And none is granted it except the one who is (truly) patient, and none is granted, except he is granted a great portion (of reward)” (Surah Fussilat, verse 35)

And alhamdulillah, since I had time to prepare, for the most part I responded calmly and well. But of course, naturally when your temper meter is constantly being challenged, it’s bound to trip over it once in a while, and unfortunately there are times when I lost my cool and I wished I responded differently.

When the verbal abuse ended and as the boy arrogantly stormed out, I spent many days contemplating back at the things that were said to me, and the things I said in response. And as the saying goes, “hindsight is 20-20” – when you look back it’s always clear what you should have done differently instead; and having dealt with this kind of character.

And to be completely fair and objective, although 99% of the accusations were baseless personal slander against me, there were one or two genuine constructive feedbacks, which I take positively to be implemented.

One very important thing to note is, sometimes (or in this case, many times), silence is the best response. When we are under attack, due to the emotional state we are in, there is a tendency that we will respond in an inappropriate manner, and might end up saying the wrong things, transgressing acceptable boundaries, and end up saying things we might regret. And then we have to go through the painstaking process of apologizing, withdrawing what we have said, or making corrections.

There is a powerful quote by Imam Ash-Shafi’ee who once said,
قل بما شئت في مسبة عرضي, فسكوتي عن اللئيم جواب
“Say what you wish in abuse of me, For my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer.
 أنا عادم الجواب ولكن,  ما من الأسد أن تجيب الكلاب
I am not at a loss for a response, but rather,It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs”


So having gone through this experience opened up my eyes and made me more mentally prepared for future arguments, should similar situations appear again. Two hadiths which I personally always hold on to as driving principles in improving my character,

أَنَا زَعِيمٌ بِبَيْتٍ فِي رَبَضِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْمِرَاءَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مُحِقًّا وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي وَسَطِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْكَذِبَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مَازِحًا وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي أَعْلَى الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ حَسَّنَ خُلُقَهُ
“I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he was the right,
(I guarantee) a house in the middle of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking,
And (I guarantee) a house in the higher part of Paradise for a man who beautifies his character”
(Narrated in Sunan Abi Daud, At-Tirmidzi and Ibnu Majah)

مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ
“Whomsoever believes in Allah and the Last Day,
Say what is good – or just keep quiet”
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others)


3. UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE’S PERCEPTIONS

While this boy was narrating to me his accusations and insults, it was clear to me that these were not a product of his own observations and fabrication – it was collective feedback from others around him, people who were backbiting and slandering me behind my back, as he continuously quoted “they say”, and “my friend told me”.

For many days following the event, I was horrified and perplexed by this sentiment. I have always tried my best to put on my best behaviour at the masjid and to treat others well, yet in spite of it all, this implied that the very people who I have been praying next to – people whom I considered brothers in faith – all this time were perceiving me in such a negative light, and instead of clarifying it to me, choose to talk behind my back and slander me for things I did not go.

And it was only after this incident that I knew that apparently this isn’t an isolated ‘opinion’ – I have heard other (seemingly unconnected) people mention the same thing, accusing me of much worse, and yet no one has ever sought clarification or had a healthy discussion with me, instead choosing to poison the minds of the local community.


But the thing is, to be really objective and mature about the situation, I don’t know “WHO” were the ones backbiting against me. And I’m not about to act like a conspiracy theorist, being paranoid of others like a witch hunt, neither am I going to stereotype entire groups of people like the Jamaah Tabligh for doing that, in the same manner I hate it when people accuse “Islam” of being a bad religion and propagating bad teachings, just because they observe “Muslims” for negative behaviour.

It was a product of their own bad attitude, negative personal evils, and personal devils (Shaytan) inciting hatred in them, just as Prophet Ya’qub said to his son Yusuf, when he knew his other sons would conspire against Yusuf out of jealousy

قَالَ يَا بُنَيَّ لَا تَقْصُصْ رُؤْيَاكَ عَلَىٰ إِخْوَتِكَ فَيَكِيدُوا لَكَ كَيْدًا ۖ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ لِلْإِنْسَانِ عَدُوٌّ مُبِينٌ
And Prophet Jacob (Ya’qub) said to his son Prophet Yusuf:
“O My son, do not tell relate your dream to your brothers, for they will conspire against you – verily, Shaytan is a plain enemy to man” (Qur’an surah Yusuf verse 5)

Just as the brothers of Yusuf, and in this case, the people at my local masjid, it was the Shaytan in them that would incite this hatred.
In a movie I remember watching many years ago as a kid, the main protagonis – and in a separate scene, his daughter – said,
“I trust everyone. It's the devil inside them I don't trust”. #Trivia #CanYouGuess

It was also at this point of sadness when Shaytan was playing tricks in my head, discouraging me from going to my local masjid and becoming a means to prevent me from acts of worship. And this is another danger I wanted to avoid : simply “giving up” whenever we get into negative situations. Leaving groups, not attending classes, avoiding people, stop going to a masjid, all because of our immaturity and weakness in succumbing to the temptations of shaytan to give up. I hated seeing this in another people, and I certainly did not want to be guilty of it myself.

Alas, as disappointing as it is, I continously ask Allah to grant me patience and seek His Reward in it, for indeed Allah will certainly recompense the one whom is a victim of backbiting and of slanders behind his back.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ defined who is the truly bankrupt person on the day of Judgment:
 إِنَّ الْمُفْلِسَ مِنْ أُمَّتِي يَأْتِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ بِصَلاَةٍ وَصِيَامٍ وَزَكَاةٍ وَيَأْتِي قَدْ شَتَمَ هَذَا وَقَذَفَ هَذَا وَأَكَلَ مَالَ هَذَا وَسَفَكَ دَمَ هَذَا وَضَرَبَ هَذَا فَيُعْطَى هَذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ وَهَذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ فَإِنْ فَنِيَتْ حَسَنَاتُهُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يُقْضَى مَا عَلَيْهِ أُخِذَ مِنْ خَطَايَاهُمْ فَطُرِحَتْ عَلَيْهِ ثُمَّ طُرِحَ فِي النَّارِ
“The bankrupt of my nation would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with (their good deeds of) prayers, fasting and Zakat but since he hurled abuses upon others, brought slander against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his good deeds would instead be given away to the account of one (who suffered at his hand).
And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire.” (Narrated by Muslim)

A fine illustration of this  was a story I remember in a lecture we attended many years ago; it was mentioned that Hasan Al-Basri (or in another narration, Imam Ash-Shafi’ee himself) once found out that a person was backbiting and slandering him behind his back. When he got to know of it, Hasan went over to his house and passed him a basket of fruits. The man was puzzled, and Hasan told him,
“I heard that you were backbiting against me – so here, please take these basket of fruits. I do not know how else to repay you for your good deeds”
#ResponseWin #pwned #GG

This story and the following verse of the Qur’an are powerful reminders to hold on to, especially in times such as these.

 وَلَا تَهِنُوا وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَنْتُمُ الْأَعْلَوْنَ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ مُؤْمِنِينَ
“So do not become weak, or grief – and you will become superior, if you are indeed (true) believers
(Qur’an, Surah Ali – Imran, verse 139)


 
4. TO BE CONSCIOUS AND MINDFUL OF OUR ACTIONS

Hearing from an antagonistic perspective, it was clear to me that there were certain actions which were deemed unlikable (or sometimes downright despicable) to others, and would no doubt inadvertently shape a negative perception on us.

Although much of this perception can be ‘wrong’ or attribute to ignorance / lack of knowledge, it is better for us who DO know, to be mindful of our own actions and to take the more wiser choice of simply avoiding things which can be disliked by others.

Admittedly, this was not an easy thing to do – of course, I have my own stance on things and I am happy to clarify; in fact I am always looking forward to have a healthy discussion regarding religion - but in understanding the nature of people around us, which do not seek clarification, this simply becomes a matter of swallowing our pride and living within the confines of tolerance and harmony to prevent discord and misunderstanding.

Having said that, of course, in the areas we cannot compromise, we still keep a firm stance and stand by our principles – but in the “optional” areas, we take the wiser the deicision to take simple liberties and blend in.
And as stated by one of our teachers in the past, this is the true definition of “wisdom” (Hikmah) – knowing where, when, and how to apply knowledge. 

And also a similar important thing to note regarding perception, is that some actions are not befitting of a person of our stature – certain things we do or say may be wrongfully attributed to other parts of our life we represent – our family, organization we work for, organizations we are involved with, or perhaps our religion as a whole.
Whether we realize it or not, we are indirectly ambassadors to where we belong, and our actions might tarnish the image or reputation of any of the above, and it is upon us to take ownership to carry these representations with dignity and uphold their honor.

Now, like myself in the past, many of my Muslim brothers would argue differently, questioning: why do we have to bend by their rules and conform to their lack of knowledge?

An incident happened during the time of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, in which he was walking at night with his wife Safiyya bint Huyai. When two men of the Ansar saw the Prophet – in the darkness of the night, potentially not recognizing the woman walking together with the Prophet – the hurried away.

Why did they run away? Were they shy of the Prophet? DDid they want to avoid seeing the Prophet with this lady at night?
The Prophet then said to them, - عَلَى رِسْلِكُمَا إِنَّهَا صَفِيَّةُ بِنْتُ حُيَىٍّ – “Walk calmly! This is (my wife), Safiyyah bint Huyai”
The two Ansari companions were surprised and remarked, - سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ – “Glory be to Allah, oh Messenger of Allah!” indicating that they were shocked that the Prophet clarified, because they would never have a negative perception or harbor evil thoughts against the Prophet to be walking with a non-mahram strange woman in the middle of the night.
But listen to the response of the Prophet – he said,
إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَجْرِي مِنَ الإِنْسَانِ مَجْرَى الدَّمِ، وَإِنِّي خَشِيتُ أَنْ يَقْذِفَ فِي قُلُوبِكُمَا سُوءًا ـ أَوْ قَالَ ـ شَيْئًا ‏
“Verily, Shaytan run in the body of man like blood runs in the veins,
I was afraid that it (this sight) would instill any evil (thoughts) in your heart.”
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

Now this hadith is a powerful lesson to us that even the Messenger of Allah would have to sometimes clarify his actions to ensure people don’t have a negative suspicion, and indirectly gave us a warning how – no thanks to the work of Satan – some sights may raise suspicion or evil thoughts in the eyes of others, despite it being absolutely normal action.

So this is how I learn my lesson, and to just avoid actions at the masjid and in the local community, which can potentially raise suspicion or negative perceptions.

But I emphasize again, where we cannot compromise, we don’t. This was the sunnah of the Prophet and our righteous predecessors, and this is the sunnah I choose to follow.


5. A SILVER LINING

Although I may sound now as if I didn’t take offence, as a human being naturally of course I was quite devastated after that shocking encounter – I genuinely felt sadness in my heart not only from the verbal abuse but the traumatic revelation that there are many people around me who perceive me in such negative light.

But one thing I was glad I did, was I kept it mainly to myself – I never exposed it on social media or other public groups. I only told a few family members and a few close friends to get their advice and point of view. Keeping mostly silent about certain events allows us to reflect, contemplate and derive lessons from them, as opposed to exposing it publicly, which in turn
1)    enrages our loved ones who may inadvertently fuel our anger further, perhaps even blind us from looking at the positive side of things, or
2)    could be just fishing for sympathy from others, which could in turn make us weaker; or
3)    could possibly incite speculation or hatred amongst others, and in the worst case could trigger fights between people; or,
4)    it could potentially hand over bullets to those who do hate us or have envy against us, for them to continue their attacks.

But 7 months later, I choose to share this right now with the intention that perhaps I can motivate and inspire others when they face similar difficult circumstances, and to look at the silver lining of things, and to derive the positive aspects of it all.

وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ ۖ  وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
“Perhaps you might hate something when it is good for you,
And perhaps you might love something when in fact it is bad for you
Allah Knows but you do not know” (Qur’an Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 216)

Now having said that of course, I am in no way validating what that boy did. His actions are still no doubt sinful and an atrocious crime against a fellow Muslim brother.
But he came to me and apologized a few days later, I smiled and accepted his apology and I leave the matter between him and Allah.

It wasn’t an easy thing to do, but I always hold on to the powerful lessons of forgiveness as demonstrated in Surah Yusuf. If Prophet Yusuf – in spite of the heinous crimes of his brothers against him as a child, throwing him into the well, inadvertently forcing him into a life of slavery, eventually being accused of adultery and finally imprisoned until his adult years many years later – and later on finally, as the Minister of Egypt, now, having publicly met his brothers and having the complete upper hand and full power to exact revenge and punish them for their crimes, his response was :

قَالَ لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ ۖ يَغْفِرُ اللَّـهُ لَكُمْ ۖ وَهُوَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ
“No blame will there be upon you on this day – may Allah forgive you.
And He is the Most Merciful of those who give mercy” (Surah Yusuf, verse 92)

Allahu Akbar.. what amazing level of forgiveness. 
Yusuf alayhissalam could forgive his brother, so why can't I forgive this ignorant young boy who was simply poisoned by the people around him?



In conclusion, what is important to learn from this post is to gain wisdom in our every day events, and to find strength in turning those ever-so-sour lemons into the lemonade.

What people see on the surface is one thing – but only Allah knows what is truly underneath and how we choose to act with that we learn from the lessons in life.


May Allah forgive all our shortcomings, make us amongst those who continuously perfect our character and grant us with the highest levels of Paradise, and may Allah protect us from the evil of backbiting and dishonoring our fellow Muslims.