Bersegera dan Berlumba-Lumba Menuju Kebaikan

سَابِقُوا إِلَىٰ مَغْفِرَةٍ مِنْ رَبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا كَعَرْضِ السَّمَاءِ وَالْأَرْضِ أُعِدَّتْ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا بِاللَّـهِ وَرُسُلِهِ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ فَضْلُ اللَّـهِ يُؤْتِيهِ مَنْ يَشَاءُ ۚ وَاللَّـهُ ذُو الْفَضْلِ الْعَظِيمِ ﴿٢١﴾

“Berlumba-lumbalah kamu (mengerjakan amal-amal yang baik) untuk mendapat keampunan dari Tuhan kamu, dan mendapat Syurga yang bidangnya seluas segala langit dan bumi,

yang disediakan bagi orang-orang yang beriman kepada Allah dan Rasul-rasulNya; yang demikian ialah limpah kurnia Allah, diberikanNya kepada sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya; dan Allah sememangnya mempunyai limpah kurnia yang besar.”

(Surah Al-Hadid : ayat 21)

وَسَارِعُوا إِلَىٰ مَغْفِرَةٍ مِنْ رَبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا السَّمَاوَاتُ وَالْأَرْضُ أُعِدَّتْ لِلْمُتَّقِينَ ﴿١٣٣﴾

“Dan bersegeralah kamu kepada ampunan dari Tuhanmu dan kepada surga yang luasnya seluas langit dan bumi

yang disediakan untuk orang-orang yang bertakwa,” (Surah Al-Imran : Ayat 133)

Apa BEZA antara kedua-dua ayat ini?

·         …

·         …

·         …

·         …

Siapakah orang-orang bertaqwa?

الَّذِينَ يُنْفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ ﴿١٣٤﴾ وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً أَوْ ظَلَمُوا أَنْفُسَهُمْ ذَكَرُوا اللَّـهَ فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ وَمَنْ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّـهُ وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ ﴿١٣٥﴾ أُولَٰئِكَ جَزَاؤُهُمْ مَغْفِرَةٌ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ وَجَنَّاتٌ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا ۚ وَنِعْمَ أَجْرُ الْعَامِلِينَ ﴿١٣٦﴾

Iaitu :

(1) mereka yang berbelanja (demi Jalan Allah) pada waktu senang dan susah, dan

(2) orang-orang yang menahan kemarahannya, dan

(3) orang-orang yang memaafkan kesalahan orang. Dan (ingatlah), Allah mengasihi orang-orang yang berbuat perkara-perkara yang baik;

(4) Dan juga orang-orang yang apabila melakukan perbuatan keji, atau menganiaya diri sendiri, mereka segera ingat kepada Allah lalu memohon ampun akan dosa mereka - dan sememangnya tidak ada yang mengampunkan dosa-dosa melainkan Allah – dan mereka juga tidak meneruskan perbuatan keji yang mereka telah lakukan itu, sedang mereka mengetahui (akan salahnya dan akibatnya).

Orang-orang yang demikian sifatnya, balasannya ialah keampunan dari Tuhan mereka, dan Syurga-syurga yang mengalir di bawahnya beberapa sungai, mereka kekal di dalamnya; dan yang demikian itulah sebaik-baik balasan (bagi) orang-orang yang beramal.

(Surah Al-Imran : 134 – 136)

Siapakah orang bertaqwa / orang beriman? à Allah tidak mengkhabarkan definasi, Allah mengkhabarkan ……

Siapakah Orang-orang yang bertaqwa

1) Mereka yang Berbelanja (di Jalan Allah) pada waktu senang dan susah

"Ada tujuh golongan yang Allah melindungi mereka dalam lindungan-NYA (naungan-Nya) pada hari kiamat, di hari ketika tiada perlindungan selain perlindungan-NYA;

… serta seseorang yang bersedekah secara sembunyi-sembunyi, sehingga tangan kirinya tidak tahu menahu terhadap amalan tangan kanannya." (Riwayat Al-Bukhari)

Belanja apa?

Aspek “TAQWA” dalam berbelanja  - ……

2) Mereka yang Menahan Marah

 “Kazim” bukan bermaksud tahan

Rasulullah () bersabda:

"‏ لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ، إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ ‏"

“Orang yang kuat itu bukanlah seseorang yang bergusti/tinju; orang yang kuat itu adalah seseorang yang menahan dirinya ketika ia sedang marah” (Riwayat Al-Bukhari)

Seseorang lelaki telah datang kepada Rasulullah dan memintanya, “أَوْصِنِي” (nasihatilah aku!)

Jawab Rasulullah, “ لاَ تَغْضَبْ” (janganlah marah) – lelaki itu bertanya lagi, dan Nabi menjawab sama, dan mengulanginya sekali lagi (Riwayat Al-Bukhari)

Soalan – adakah Shari’ah melarang orang untuk berasa marah?

Aspek “TAQWA” Dalam menahan marah?

إِنَّ السَّمْعَ وَالْبَصَرَ وَالْفُؤَادَ كُلُّ أُولَٰئِكَ كَانَ عَنْهُ مَسْئُولًا ﴿٣٦﴾

“.. Sesungguhnya pendengaran dan penglihatan serta hati (…..), semua anggota-anggota itu tetap akan disoal tentang apa yang dilakukannya.” (Surah al-Isra’ : Ayat 36)

Allah lebih berhak untuk marah!

“‏ "‏ لَيْسَ أَحَدٌ ـ أَوْ لَيْسَ شَىْءٌ ـ أَصْبَرَ عَلَى أَذًى سَمِعَهُ مِنَ اللَّهِ، إِنَّهُمْ لَيَدْعُونَ لَهُ وَلَدًا، وَإِنَّهُ لَيُعَافِيهِمْ وَيَرْزُقُهُمْ ‏""

“Tidak ada siapa pun - atau tidak ada sesuatu pun - yang lebih bersabar atas gangguan yang ia dengar melebihi Allah, Sesungguhnya mereka menganggap Dia punya anak namun Dia memberi mereka kesihatan (tubuh badan) dan (tetap pula) memberi mereka rezeki."” (Riwayat Al-Bukhari)

3) Yang Memaafkan Kesalahan Orang.

...وَإِنْ كُنَّا لَخَاطِئِينَ ﴿٩١﴾ قَالَ لَا تَثْرِيبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْيَوْمَ ۖ يَغْفِرُ اللَّـهُ لَكُمْ ۖ وَهُوَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ ﴿٩٢﴾

“.. dan sesungguhnya kami adalah orang-orang yang bersalah!”

Kemudian, ………. berkata “Kamu tidak akan disalahkan (tentang perbuatan kamu yang telah terlanjur itu) pada hari ini, semoga Allah mengampunkan dosa kamu, dan Dia lah jua Yang Maha Mengasihani daripada segala yang lain yang mengasihani.” (Surah …….., ayat 92)

Siapakah yang mengatakan ayat di atas?

Siapa lagi yang menyebut ayat yang sama dalam memaafkan kaumnya?

وَلَا يَأْتَلِ أُولُو الْفَضْلِ مِنكُمْ وَالسَّعَةِ أَن يُؤْتُوا أُولِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِينَ وَالْمُهَاجِرِينَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ

“Dan janganlah orang-orang yang berharta serta lapang hidupnya dari kalangan kamu, bersumpah tidak mahu lagi memberi bantuan kepada kaum kerabat dan orang-orang miskin serta orang-orang yang berhijrah pada jalan Allah; dan (sebaliknya) hendaklah mereka memaafkan serta melupakan kesalahan orang-orang itu; tidakkah kamu suka supaya Allah mengampunkan dosa kamu? Dan (ingatlah) Allah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Mengasihani.” (Surah An-Nur 24:22)

Abu Bakr berkata, “وَاللَّهِ إِنِّي لأُحِبُّ أَنْ يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لِي”

“ya, aku mahukan Allah untuk mengampunkan dosaku”

Kita inginkan Allah untuk mengampunkan semua dosa yang kita lakukan – tetapi kita tidak bersedia untuk memaafkan orang lain?

Vs. seseorang yang dizalimi – berhak mendapat pahala daripada orang yang menzaliminya. Adakah lebih baik maafkan? Atau “reserve” Peluang untuk dapat pahalanya?

4) Segera Ingat Allah Apabila Melakukan Dosa

“Ketahuilah! Dalam peringatan kepada Allah, hati menjadi tenang” (Surah ar-Ra’d 13:28)

·         Seorang Mukmin à apabila diingatkan kepada Allah

·         Seorang muttaq (yang bertaqwa) à

"‏ كُلُّ ابْنِ آدَمَ خَطَّاءٌ وَخَيْرُ الْخَطَّائِينَ التَّوَّابُونَ ‏"‏

“Setiap (seorang daripada) Bani Adam melakukan dosa – tetapi sebaik-baik mereka yang melakukan dosa adalah mereka yang sentiasa bertaubat (tawabun)”

Beza antara Iblis dan Adam

Kesimpulan

Beza antara “sabiq” (berlumba-lumbah) dan “sari’” (bergegaslah); beza di antara “muttaq” dan “Mukmin” (seorang yang bertaqwa dan seorang yang beriman)  à ________________!!!

Abu Bakr dan Umar

tawakkal kepada ganjaran lumayan Allah

"Umar ibn Al-Khattab meriwayatkan – “"kami diarahkan daripada Rasulullah untuk bersedeqah, dan pada ketika itu aku mempunyai harta. Jadi aku terfikir,

" الْيَوْمَ أَسْبِقُ أَبَا بَكْرٍ إِنْ سَبَقْتُهُ يَوْمًا "

"Hari ini, aku akan mengalahkan Abu Bakr, kalau lah ada hari yang aku dapat mengalahkannya".

Jadi aku mengeluarkan separuh daripada hartaku untuk bersedeqah, dan Rasulullah bertanya kepadaku "Apakah yang telah kamu tinggal untuk keluargamu?", dan aku mejawab "Sebanyak itu juga".

Abu Bakr telah membawa hartanya, dan Rasulullah bertanya "wahai Abu Bakr! Apakah yang telah kau tinggal untuk keluargamu?"

Abu Bakr menjawab "Aku meninggalkan untuk mereka Allah dan Rasul-Nya (sahaja)". Lantas, aku berkata,

"وَاللَّهِ لاَ أَسْبِقُهُ إِلَى شَيْءٍ أَبَدًا "

"WAllahi, aku tidak akan berjaya mengalahkannya dalam sesuatu benda  pun"

(Riwayat At-Tirmidzi, "hasan")

Siapa yang berlumba?

Rasulullah bertanya – Siapakah di antara kamu yang berpuasa hari ini? Siapa antara kamu turut serta dalam pengurusan jenazah (pengebumian) hari ini? Siapa antara kamu yang telah menyediakan makanan kepada orang Miskin hari ini? Siapa antara kamu yang ada melawat orang yang sakit pada hari ini?

Rujuk Hadith² @ Kitab RS : Contoh-contoh mereka yang bergegas/berlumba ke kebaikan.

SOALAN : MENGAPA KITA TIDAK BERLUMBA-LUMBA / BERGEGAS KE ARAH KEBAIKAN?

·         Taqwa?

·         Iman

o    Tawakkal, yakin kepada janji Allah

o    Iman terhadap Allah yang Maha Kaya

o    Sabar dalam menanti ganjaran Allah

o    Lupakan tanggungjawab dan akauntabiliti pada Hari Kiamat

o    “Hanyut” dengan arus majoriti

o    Salah “standard”

Rebut peluang vs. WUJUDKAN peluang

“‏ مَنْ سَنَّ سُنَّةً حَسَنَةً فَعُمِلَ بِهَا كَانَ لَهُ أَجْرُهَا وَمِثْلُ أَجْرِ مَنْ عَمِلَ بِهَا لاَ يَنْقُصُ مِنْ أُجُورِهِمْ شَيْئًا”

“Barangsiapa yang memulakan satu Sunnah yang baik, maka baginya balasan pahala bagi setiap yang bertindak di atasnya tanpa mengurangkan sedikit pun daripada pahala yang memulakan” (ibn Majah, sahih)

Tanyakan SIKAP kita terhadap amalan kebajikan

• Mengajak ‘makan free’ vs. mengajak ke masjid/majlis ilmu, etc
• “Health-conscious” message vs. “Iman-conscious” message
• Punctual kerja vs. Punctual solat
• Takut “miss flight” vs. Takut “miss jemaah”
• Usaha kejar bonus vs. Usaha melipat kali gandakan pahala (solat berjemaah)
• Semangat “Grand Sale” / “PC Fair” vs Semangat “Solat berjemaah”
• Rush nak iPhone baru vs. Rush nak beribadah
• Awal pergi concert / awal untuk product launch vs awal pergi solat Jumaat
• Kesungguhan untuk membaikkan diri di kerja vs. membaikkan diri sebagai seorang Mukmin
• Rugi tak pergi kursus/blood check percuma vs. Rugi tak pergi majlis ilmu percuma
• Cuba jaga hati orang vs. Cuba jaga hati keluarga vs. Cuba jaga hubungan dengan Allah
• Bersiap sedia untuk interview kerja vs. Bersiap sedia untuk soal di Kubur / soal di Hari Kiamat
• Boikot produk yg “support Israel” vs. Boikot produk “haram”
• Belajar “degree” vs. Belajar “basic dalam Islam”
• Kesanggupan bayar “consultancy fee” vs Kesanggupan perbelanjaan infaq/ilmu

Symptoms only : address the Cause! I.T (iman / taqwa)

Semoga Allah menjadikan kita antara golongan yang bertaqwa, yang sentiasa bergegas dan mengajak lain untuk berlumba-lumba untuk kebaikan

Dealing with Debtors and Debt..

I am in dilemma when dealing with people who owe me a debt, have passed their commitment deadline, yet fail to pay up or communicate.
On one hand, I would love to seize the opportunity of good deeds, to extend their deadline, or even just let go and forgive the debt with the intention of charity, for Allah said
 
وَإِنْ كَانَ ذُو عُسْرَةٍ فَنَظِرَةٌ إِلَىٰ مَيْسَرَةٍ ۚ وَأَنْ تَصَدَّقُوا خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ ۖ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تَعْلَمُونَ
“And if the debtor is in a hard time (has no money), then grant him time till it is easy for him to repay,
but if you forgive the debt it by way of charity, that is better for you if you did but know.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:280)

If Allah said it’s better for us – then we should dive for it!

.. But on the other hand, I also don’t want debtors to take this lightly and just assume “everything is OK”, only to land in another debt sooner or later. The matter of debt is SERIOUS stuff – even the martyr cannot enter Paradise if he is in debt! The Prophet said,

“وَالَّذِي نَفْسِي بِيَدِهِ لَوْ أَنَّ رَجُلاً قُتِلَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ ثُمَّ أُحْيِيَ ثُمَّ قُتِلَ ثُمَّ أُحْيِيَ ثُمَّ قُتِلَ وَعَلَيْهِ دَيْنٌ مَا دَخَلَ الْجَنَّةَ حَتَّى يُقْضَى عَنْهُ دَيْنُهُ”
“By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if a man were to be killed in the cause of Allah (and died as a martyr) then brought back to life, then killed (martyred),
but he owed a debt, he would not enter paradise until his debt was paid off” (Narrated in Sunan an-Nasa’I, graded sahih)

SubhanAllah.. Even two martyrdoms would not save one from being barred from Paradise, because of his debt. This is why it is better to exert one’s utmost effort to strive to resolve his/her own financial difficulties; and the shari’ah discourages people from asking of others, as the Prophet said,

“لأَنْ يَحْتَطِبَ أَحَدُكُمْ حُزْمَةً عَلَى ظَهْرِهِ خَيْرٌ مِنْ أَنْ يَسْأَلَ أَحَدًا، فَيُعْطِيَهُ أَوْ يَمْنَعَهُ ‏”
"No doubt, it is better for any one of you to cut a bundle of wood and carry it over his back  (to sell as firewood),
rather than to ask someone who may or may not give him." (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

Furthermore, neither do we want to encourage people in debt to take creditors for granted… “oh, I borrowed from a Muslim, so he should forgive me to give good deeds”.

This is a disrespectful attitude and shows our lack of concern for those who have acted upon kindness towards us by lending us, showing how we do not care of the possibility of them needing the money. The Prophet said:
‏ "‏ مَطْلُ الْغَنِيِّ ظُلْمٌ ‏"
“For a wealthy person to delay repaying debts, is a form of dzulm (oppression / injustice)” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)


Furthermore, as we have witnessed many times, the state of debt is also a time when a person is most prone to tell compulsive lies and argumentation just to get him out of a tight spot. This is exactly as the Prophet had said,

“إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ إِذَا غَرِمَ حَدَّثَ فَكَذَبَ وَوَعَدَ فَأَخْلَفَ”
“When a person is in debt, when he speaks, he lies, and when he makes a promise, he breaks it.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)


Rather we should have the integrity and professionalism to be paying off our debt in the most timely manner; and have the honesty and transparency to communicate with the creditor, if one is in dire financial circumstance. This is the true etiquette of a Muslim in debt for the Prophet said:
‏ "‏ إِنَّ خَيْرَكُمْ - أَوْ مِنْ خَيْرِكُمْ - أَحَاسِنُكُمْ قَضَاءً ‏"‏
“The best of you - or among the best of you - are those who pay off their debts in the best manner.” (Narrated by ibn Majah, graded sahih)

So to reconcile this, we want the reward of charity and helping our brother/sister in debt to us – without the expense of the debtor taking for granted, or for deliberately ignoring their debts, or to develop negative characteristics (i.e. lying) as a result of their debt. If they are honest and transparent, and are sincerely in difficulty, then that is our opportunity to alleviate their burden by extension or sadaqah.

The verdict
Let us give the benefit of doubt - perhaps the debtor(s) forgot. (WAllahi if they understood the severity of dying with debts, they shouldn’t forget, but what to do, we are human beings.. )

So, we remind them, and may Allah open up paths of goodness for us – as a debtor to pay off in the best of ways, or a creditor with the reward of sadaqah.

I Do Not Celebrate Birthdays

The Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
"The BEST of people are those whose life is long, and deeds are good;
and the WORST of people are those whose life is long, and his deeds are bad"
(Narrated in At-Tirmidzi, graded hasan)

So I thank all of the well-wishers for your sincere intentions, but if you mean well for me, I request that instead, pray to Allah that, now that I am one year closer to meeting my Lord, supplicate to Him that I become amongst those who are amongst the first category mentioned by the Prophet.


Why not celebrate birthdays?

Alhamdulillah, as you can easily Google up, the celebration of birthdays originated from a Egyptian and Greek paganistic (i.e. polytheistic, idol-worshipping, mushrik) practices.

1) Pagans used to believe that a soul would be vunerable to 'evil spells' on birthdays, with 'guardian spirits', both good and evil, hover around to give predictions of the future. Thus the paganistic belief was that one should spread 'good wishes' to avoid enemies giving bad wishes thus causing evil omens.

2) The giving of birthday gifts is a custom associated with the offering of sacrifices to pagan gods on their birthdays.
Exchanging presents is conducted with the intent of the influence of “good and evil fairies” .

3) Beleiving that the fire of candles had magical properties, they offered prayers and made wishes to be carried to the gods on the flames of the candles. The Greeks celebrated the birthday of their moon goddess, Artemis, with cakes adorned with lighted candles.
Hence, the custom of making a wish and blowing out the candles.

Clearly, this isn't a cultural practice, it is of clear pagan beliefs contrary to the belief of monotheism. The Prophet said,
مَنْ تَشَبَّهَ بِقَوْمٍ, فَهُوَ مِنْهُمْ
"Whoever imitates a people, is one of them." (Narrated by Ahmad and Abu Dawud, 4/314)

The recurring annual practice of birthday celebrations is in fact what is terminologically is classified as “Eid” (celebration which keeps ‘returning’/repeating) – and the Prophet has mentioned that all forms of “eid” have been cancelled except for two : Eid ul-Fitri and Eid al-Adha.

The Prophet came to Madinah and the people of Madinah had, in Jahiliyyah two days for play and amusment. So the Prophet said:
“I came to you and you had, in Jaahiliyyah two days for play and amusement.
Indeed Allaah has replaced them for you by that which is better than them: Eid ul Adha (The Dav of Slaughteung) and Eid ul Ftir (the day of fitrah/breaking of the fast).”
(Saheeh. Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, An-Nasa'i)

Now a person might claim “this is just a fun practice, and we don’t have any irreligious or paganistic intent”. To that, my stance is:

1) The very origin itself is of paganistic origin, regardless of the intent.
2) Islam is a comprehensive way of life, and the Prophet has granted us a superior identity by replacing these annually recurring celebrations. Who should we really imitate?
3) Really, rationally speaking, what ARE we actually celebrating? Being older? If we just want an excuse to get your family and friends together, just make one up adhoc. Why choose a pagan-originated celebration? 

May Allah make us amongst those who live long lives of righteousness and benefit to mankind.

May Allah Hasten the Recompense of the Oppressors and Those Who Are Oppressed

By their actions of providing support and ammunition to international terrorists, and deliberate media manipulation, America has revealed a typo in their claims of upholding "Truth, Justice and the American Way".

It is actually "Truth, Justice OR the American Way": Because there is no truth or justice here.

May Allah the All-Just hasten the recompense of the oppressors, and those who are oppressed. Let us spend 1 minute to make sincere supplications for the 1400+ innocent brothers and sisters who were unjustly murdered. This is the BARE MINIMUM we can contribute…

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَهُم وَارْحَمْهمُ وَاعْفُ عَنْهُم وَعَافِهِم
O Allah! forgive their sins, have mercy upon them. Pardon them and grant them safety.

وَأَكْرِمْ نُزُلَهُم وَوَسِّعْ مُدْخَلَهُم وَاغْسِلْهُم بِمَاءٍ وَثَلْجٍ وَبَرَدٍ وَنَقِّهِم مِنَ الْخَطَايَا كَمَا يُنَقَّى الثَّوْبُ الأَبْيَضُ مِنَ الدَّنَسِ
Receive them with honour and make their graves spacious.
Cleanse their (souls) with water, snow and hail, and cleanse them from faults, as is a cleaned white garment is freed from impurity

 وَأَبْدِلْهُم دَارًا خَيْرًا مِنْ دَارِهِم وَأَهْلاً خَيْرًا مِنْ أَهْلِهمِ وَزَوْجًا خَيْرًا مِنْ زَوْجِهِم
Replace them with a home more excellent than their home (in this world), with a family better than their family, and with companionship better than their companionship (they received in this world).

وَأَدْخِلْهُم اَلْجَنَّةَ وَقِهمِ فِتْنَةَ الْقَبْرِ وَعَذَابَ النَّارِ
and grant them entrance to Paradise, and protect them from the trial of the grave and the torment of Hell.

Amin..
#FreePalestine #SupportGaza #GazaUnderAttack

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said,
"The supplication of a Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered.
Everytime he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed for this particular task says: 'A meen! May it be for you, too'."
(Sahih Muslim)





Let us remind ourselves on the Verses of Surah Al-Burooj, about those in the past who were brutally murdered because of their faith

وَمَا نَقَمُوا مِنْهُمْ إِلَّا أَنْ يُؤْمِنُوا بِاللَّـهِ الْعَزِيزِ الْحَمِيدِ ﴿٨
“And they (the disbelievers) did not have anything against them (who were unjustly killed), except that it is because they believed in Allah , the Exalted in Might, the Praiseworthy,

 الَّذِي لَهُ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ ۚ وَاللَّـهُ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ شَهِيدٌ ﴿٩
Who, to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth!
And Allah is Witness over EVERYTHING.

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ فَتَنُوا الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ ثُمَّ لَمْ يَتُوبُوا فَلَهُمْ عَذَابُ جَهَنَّمَ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابُ الْحَرِيقِ ﴿١٠
Indeed, those who have tortured the believing men and believing women and then have not repented will have the punishment of Hell, and they will have the punishment of the Burning Fire.

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ لَهُمْ جَنَّاتٌ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْكَبِيرُ ﴿١١
Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds will have gardens beneath which rivers flow. That is the great attainment.

 إِنَّ بَطْشَ رَبِّكَ لَشَدِيدٌ ﴿١٢
Indeed, the vengeance of your Lord is severe.

إِنَّهُ هُوَ يُبْدِئُ وَيُعِيدُ ﴿١٣
Verily, He it is Who begins (punishment) and repeats (punishment in the Hereafter) (or originates the creation of everything, and then repeats it on the Day of Resurrection).

وَهُوَ الْغَفُورُ الْوَدُودُ ﴿١٤
And He is Oft-Forgiving, full of love (towards the pious believers)”
(Surah Al-Buruj 85:8-14)

Evasion Techniques - How to Avoid Shaking Hands with Non-Mahrams in Gatherings

Alhamdulillah, Eid and "Raya" season is the time where families and friends gather, and experience continuous exchange of warm greetings and awesome food.
But it is in this joyous and celebratory mood that many of us are constantly presented with series of complex social challenges: how to avoid shaking hands with non-mahrams of the opposite gender, without offending anyone.

So here we'd like to share some practical tips on evasion techniques whilst preventing and/or minimising any form of negative or "awkward" discussions on "why".
And no, having a big beard, big hijab or a big kopiah doesn't grant you immunity from being offered the hand. 
Trust me, we need technique, my friend.



"What's the big deal? It's just a handshake"

Seems many people don’t know this, so let's establish the rule right out the bat : touching/shaking hands with the opposite gender who is a non-mahram (including cousins, and aunties/uncles who are married to your direct auntiess/uncles [i.e. Those married to your parents' siblings]) : is Haram (prohibited). Absolutely.

Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم ) said: 
“For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him, than touching a woman who is not permissible for him (i.e. a Non-Mahram from the opposite gender)”
(Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh)

Note: for the full list of who are considered "mahram" (those family members you can, and should, shake hands with), Refer to surah Nur (24), Verse 23. Everyone else is “Non-Mahram”.

This one hadith is sufficient to illustrate the severity of the act.
In the spirit of loving for others what we love for ourselves, here’s some practical tips, especially during the “meet and greet” stage.

*For ease of illustration, “BRO” refers to a person of the same gender, or a Mahram family member; so for ladies, this term refers to sisters.

PREVENTION:
1) Form a Team
You cannot work alone: You need a mahram partner of the opposite gender – the best partner would be your spouse : wife/husband. The key here is to ensure that the ‘partner’ or ‘team member’ engages with any potential targets, so the targets are distracted long enough from offering to shake your hand.
Besides the spouse, children are also a great asset. When that ‘cousin’ wants to shake your hand, get your child to ‘salam aunty’ quickly, and do something distracting – something cute, something funny. Buy enough time for you to find another BRO for you to shake.
Siblings as team mates can work, but are significantly less effective, since you are usually seen as equals and will be approached anyway.


2) Stick together, and be alert of TEAM situation - provide timely intervention and support

Walk in formation, at close proximity. When a man approaches the wife, you intervene. When a lady offers the hand to the husband, the wife intervenes. Allahu Akbar.. Gotta love teamwork.
“And help you one another towards righteousness and piety!” (Surah al-Ma’idah 5:2)

3) Be proactive
Assess the situation upfront, identify the group – immediately shake hands with the nearest BRO. Engage him/her long enough, so you can proactively identify and shake hands with the next BRO. Ask about family, food, studies, business, weather, etc.
If you run out of BRO’s, immediately walk behind your TEAM.
Backup plan in awkward absence of BROs, or if TEAM outnumbered - stealth mode, avoid detection : reach out for your mobile phone, look busy with a slight frown on the face. Make calls in case of emergency.

4) Quickly eat or drink something
Get your hands wet or slightly sticky/stained with food. “Dirty hands”/’tangan kotor’ is a universally accepted excuse for not shaking, whilst maintaining respect. Diplomatic and clean.

5) Don’t stop smiling – even when turning down an offer
Having a cheerful appearance makes it clear that it’s nothing personal.
The Prophet said,
“Do not belittle or consider any act of goodness as being insignificant, even if it is (as simple as) meeting your brother with a cheerful face” (Narrated by Muslim)


Sometimes, the hand will still be offered, and you have to negotiate your way out of awkwardness. When this occurs, directly acquire TEAM assistance to shake hand on your behalf.

Of course, when all else fails, turn down the offer and wave.

EXPLAIN THE TRUTH - LATER:
Of course, this is the “end goal” we should strive for - After the “meet and greet” phase, try to find an opportunity to apologize and explain.
There’s a strong chance that people genuinely don’t know.


RATIONALE…?
Just keep it simple: We believe in Allah, and His Messenger instructed us not to do it – so much so that, if we knew how serious it was, we would rather have an iron needle hammered into our heads. Ever stepped on a staple and got it stuck on your foot? Hurts, man. Don’t want us to get hurt this Raya.

Hope that helps, brothers and sisters.

Selamat ber-open house, taqabbalAllahu minna wa minkum=)