“Build one habit at a time. Success is sequential, not simultaneous. No one actually has the discipline to acquire more than one powerful new habit at a time. Super-successful people aren’t superhuman at all; they’ve just used selected discipline to develop a few significant habits. One at a time. Over time.”
(Quote from “The ONE Thing: The surprisingly simple truth behind extraordinary results”, Gary Keller)
In high school, Spencer Glendon suffered from chronic ulcerative colitis. This led to serious progressive liver problems. He eventually needed a transplant, which he got from a good friend. But organ transplants mean immunosuppressive therapy. Basically, he has no immune system. Colds that would give you and I a stuffy nose left him bedridden for a week. When most of us feel under the weather, we push on through with coffee and willpower, but for Spencer there was no negotiating with his body. It would fail him and he would be bedridden again.
Sounds awful, huh?
But this is exactly what made Spencer awesome. As he likes to say, “I’ve had what I think of as the good fortune to be physically compromised almost through my entire life.” You’re probably thinking the same thing I am: Huh?
When he was in high school and seriously ill, he went to see a therapist. He wanted to do the things all young people want to do: go to parties, date, play sports. Often they just weren’t realistic options. And it was heartbreaking. His therapist couldn’t lie to him. Spencer couldn’t live a life like his peers.
But that didn’t mean he had to be miserable. The therapist told him to focus on accomplishing one thing a day. If he could do just that one thing, he could feel good about himself. His energy was limited, but if he focused on just one thing, he could still do some of what he wanted.
So that’s what he did. Sometimes it was just making dinner. If he could cook dinner that night he would have accomplished something. He had to quit a lot of activities, but he could still achieve one thing. He would do the one thing that day, and one thing the next, and the next. Now, when he’s at his sickest, he still makes dinner. (Unsurprisingly, he’s also become a great cook.)
Coming to terms with his illness taught him something that almost all of us overlook: Everything we do in life is a trade-off. Choosing to do one thing means not doing something else.
Today, Spencer Glendon is a Fulbright Scholar, earned a Ph.D. in economics from Harvard, helped charities on the South Side of Chicago, and is currently a partner at one of the biggest money management funds in Massachusetts.
(Excerpt from “Barking Up The Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success is [Mostly] Wrong” by Eric Baker)
Emphasizing #ThePowerOfHabit #AtomicHabits , it is the small, qualitative choices we make, and the ones we choose to do consistently in our day to day lives that eventually shape who we become, despite the adversity or problems in our circumstance. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said,
وَأَنَّ أَحَبَّ الأَعْمَالِ أَدْوَمُهَا إِلَى اللَّهِ، وَإِنْ قَلَّ
"the most beloved deeds to Allah are the ones done consistently, even if they are small"
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari)
But what really stood out to me about his story was about embracing our limitations. Despite his severe illnesses with a “valid excuse” to simply live a life of survival, especially with the inability to “enjoy life” like his peers, Spencer simply kept moving forward in life with what he had, improving one small aspect at a time until he scored multiple achievements and contributions that even relatively healthy people don’t do.
Just because we are deprived from something, it doesn’t mean we need to live with a Victim mindset: to feel upset, depressed, envious of others. Rather we should embrace who we are, accept our limitations and move on. Focus on what we CAN do, what we can achieve.
We can apply this life lesson to all circumstances: No matter what states of difficulty you may be in, it is your conscious choice to make the best of what you have is the secret to a life of fulfillment, success and happiness.
In the context of religion, this is the essence of Islam (submission). When a Muslim EMBRACES Islam, one embraces the limitations – whatever the shari’ah has deemed as prohibited / haram – not simply because one “doesn’t have a choice”, but out of acknowledgement that the One Creator had imposed these prohibitions because He Knows Best what is good for us (even if our desires may not “like” it), and we put our full trust in Him!
This is the wisdom behind the description of the Prophet ﷺ regarding the believer:
الدُّنْيَا سِجْنُ الْمُؤْمِنِ وَجَنَّةُ الْكَافِرِ
“The life of this world is a prison for the believer and Paradise for the disbeliever” (Muslim)
Finally, another really inspiring aspect of Spencer’s story is the importance of meaningful relationships. It was his therapist that gave him the secret sauce to his eventual path to success – one thing at a time – but above that, the author highlights at the book’s conclusion, Spencer’s amazing life had one more secret weapon up his sleeve: a BFF who saved his life.
“Relationships not only improve success; they can save your life. Remember Spencer Glendon and his health issues? I mentioned he received a liver transplant. When he first fell seriously ill, the doctors knew he might eventually need a new liver and his friends were all tested to see if any were a match. (The liver is unique in that it regenerates; so both donor and recipient will eventually grow a full organ with time.)
His friend Carl was a good match. Years went by and Spencer’s health continued to decline. The doctors said they had run out of options. Spencer would require a transplant.
Carl didn’t merely volunteer. He revealed that ever since the positive donor match, he had quietly been on a dedicated regimen of diet and exercise. He’d spent the past few years getting himself into peak shape so that when the time came, he could give Spencer the healthiest liver possible.
Because of Carl’s sneaky plan, both friends are healthy and happy today. I hope you and I are lucky enough to have friends like Carl.
If you align your knowledge of yourself with your career and the people around you, it can form an upward spiral that leads to not only career success but also happiness and fulfillment.” (End Quote)
Wow.
The Prophet ﷺ said,
لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ
“None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
مَثَلُ الْجَلِيسِ الصَّالِحِ وَالْجَلِيسِ السَّوْءِ كَمَثَلِ صَاحِبِ الْمِسْكِ، وَكِيرِ الْحَدَّادِ، لاَ يَعْدَمُكَ مِنْ صَاحِبِ الْمِسْكِ إِمَّا تَشْتَرِيهِ، أَوْ تَجِدُ رِيحَهُ، وَكِيرُ الْحَدَّادِ يُحْرِقُ بَدَنَكَ أَوْ ثَوْبَكَ أَوْ تَجِدُ مِنْهُ رِيحًا خَبِيثَةً
"The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the seller of perfume and the blacksmith;
From the first (seller of perfume) you would either buy the perfume, or enjoy its good smell (by simply being in his company);
while (hanging out with) the blacksmith would either burn your body or your clothes, or you get a bad nasty smell from being in his company." (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)
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