In our recent company engagement, I noticed a recurring theme that kept coming up time and time again: is for all leaders to practice EMPATHY and genuinely care for their mental well-being for their staff – a message that was strongly resonated by others in the organization.
I was pleasantly surprised by this dramatic shift in the right direction. The topic of “empathy and caring for those under us” was a message which was rarely ever heard of in the corporate world, prior to the pandemic.
We can all play a major part in shaping a caring, compassionate environment for those under our care to thrive and be at their best! The same too can be applied to our role as parents: leaders in our household.
So, what does “empathy” truly mean, in practice?
After giving it much thought, here are three components on what practicing empathy looks like, to me:
1. Non-judgmental Listening – Leaders need to allow safe space to speak up and LISTEN more; to consciously resist the urge to judge, get defensive, or play the blaming game when people open up.
One of the biggest grievances of self-expression and speaking up is that when people express their frustration, they get told “you just have to manage” (implying that they are incompetent in managing stress); or to have “gratitude” and “patience” weaponized against them (e.g. “You should be thankful!”, “this is the problem with millennials... so impatient”); or when they are confronted with a defensive counter-attack (“You think YOU’RE stressed? What about ME!”); or simply have their feelings trivialized, dismissed or looked down upon. (Parents, take note!)
Sometimes, just being able to express ourselves without being judged, that by itself can be a huge source of relief. Never underestimate the power of active listening!
2. Provide ACTUAL solutions – One principal engineer in our team once complained, “we don’t need people to talk to. We need to resolve this problem of being overworked!”
A little harsh, but to be fair, I do see where she is coming from. I in several past engagements, providing my feedback, getting a neutral, “thanks for the feedback”. Then nothing.
Empathy to listen is one thing (which isn’t easy either – even that alone can require a mountain of patience!) – but the BEST thing leaders can do is to go one step further, and provide tangible solutions: Whether it is to delegate workload, shift deadlines, negotiate flexible working hours in consideration of working parents, work re-distribution to share or reduce workload, add resources. It’s easier said than done, to be sure, but it can make a whole world of difference in staff morale and work motivation.
3. Peel off the Layers – Leaders need to create opportunities to get to know each other better on a personal level, as human beings: Make an effort to understand what motivates us, what we are passionate about. Build in regular communication sessions that allow us to actively develop a healthy, trusting and collaborative working environment for each other as a team, not merely a collective of isolated individuals “with KPIs to meet”. When done right, this by itself can be a huge morale driver that can boost productivity AND team chemistry to collaboratively achieve more. Win-win for the personnel AND the organization!
In my experience, this can also come in handy during professional conflicts. Next time, when we challenge each other professionally, or have to respectfully say “no”, we understand where we are coming from – purely business – recognizing it’s nothing personal. Without solid relationships, it can be difficult to differentiate if people are giving tough love or just being a jerk, especially in a virtual working environment!
Let’s all play our part to practice empathy. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said,
“Those who do not show mercy and compassion, will not be shown mercy and compassion (by Allah)!” (Al-Bukhari)
“The merciful ones: it is they who are shown mercy by Ar-Rahman (The All-Merciful).
Have mercy and compassion to those on Earth, and you will be shown mercy from Who is above the heavens!” (At-Tirmidzi) #whiteflag
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