Saturday, March 19, 2022

Value of True Integrity

When Umar ibn Al-Khattab was a caliph, he had a habit of going around at night in disguise to see if anybody needed help. One night, he overheard a conversation between a young lady and her mother. The mother was telling her daughter to mix milk with water and sell it in the market. 

The daughter reminded her that Caliph ʿUmar had prohibited such practices. The mother said, “ʿUmar cannot see you.” 

To which the daughter replied, “But the Lord of ʿUmar can.” 


ʿUmar was so impressed by this reply that he asked his servant to find out who that young lady was. When he learned more about her, he approached her with an offer to marry his son ʿĀṣim. She accepted the offer, and they married. From this marriage, they were gifted with a daughter by the name of Layla, who was the mother of the great legendary caliph, Umar ibn Abdul Aziz, whom people widely regard as the fifth righteous caliph (khulafa ar-rashidun). 


It is narrated that later ʿUmar had a dream, after which he used to say, “I wish I knew the man from my descendants, with a scar on his face, who will fill the earth with justice, just as it was full of injustice and oppression.” (Ref: Siyar Al-A'lam an-Nubala, Adz-Dzahabi, vol 5, p122) 


Many Muslim historians claim that the just ruler ʿUmar saw in his dream was actually ʿUmar bin Abdul Aziz. 


There are many profound life lessons we can derive from this story:


True Integrity: From this conversation, Umar immediately proposed to marry her off to his son, Asim. Why such a big life decision, on the basis of this short interaction? What about other aspects of this woman - her character, her worship, and so on?


On the surface, it might seem as if Umar went on a limb and took a bit of a "gamble" here, right? 

But no, this isn't the random actions of a rash individual. This was a deliberate, concise decision from the wisdom of one of the wisest, most righteous and knowledgeable companions of the Prophet ﷺ. 


Let's look at the circumstances this lady was in. She was in a seemingly isolated situation, with (what she thought had) no other witnesses in sight other than her own mother - who, in this case, also kind of acted as her manager and boss. 

She could have taken the "yes-man" approach and comply with her mother under the pretext of "obedience to parents", especially with the assurance that she won't get caught. It would have been the easy and convenient thing to do, and she would have had some "solid justification" too. And by the way, how many of us do this? Commit injustice, wrong or unethical decisions on the basis of "just following orders", "menurut perintah", "arahan dari atas"?


Yet she refused. It would be an unpopular and risky personal decision, one that would surely cause more inconvenience and hardship to her family - not to mention potentially jeopardize her relationship with her mother. But she made it clear that the basis of her decision, this seemingly act of defiance, was out of knowing full well that she will be accountable for her deeds on the Day of Judgment - and even she can hide from the caliph, she will never be able to hide from Allah. 


This accountability and watchfulness - Taqwa - is the true basis of integrity. To do the right thing when no one is watching. A far cry from the modern perception today that many people have: "as long as you don't get caught"


Umar deduced that, if a person could have the integrity to make the courageous decision to stand by her principles as her guiding compass for the courage to small decision of cheating for a few extra dirhams, then she would surely have the integrity for bigger, more important decisions in life. 

Decisions she would make as a wife, as a mother: with this end in mind. No matter how difficult or comfortable things get, taqwa will always be her guide, to govern her actions, her character, her worship. 

This is someone you can trust, and therefore someone you'd want to have in your household. 


This is why Umar married her off to his son. It was a rare quality then. It still is a rare quality today. If you find these rare amazing people, seize them. Hold on to them. They will be your friends in dunya and hereafter. 

May Allah make us and our families among the people of taqwa. 


Finally, this also teaches us about the barakah of righteous parents. Sometimes, the fruits behind our decisions actions won't be observed immediately. You never know when the barakah will come in. In this case, the ripple effects of this one decision came decades after Umar's death - in the form of his righteous grandson, Umar ibn Abdul Aziz!


And one last thing; a special message to the single guys and gals out there. Did this lady refuse to cheat, out of the intention of finding a spouse, let alone getting married to the son of the caliph? No. She did it out of taqwa. But from that one decision, Allah opened the doors of barakah in ways she never imagined. 


As always, the lesson remains the same: Do the right thing, with ikhlas. Leave the rest to Allah.

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