Great Husband - a 'forgotten' sunnah..?

Reading into the seerah (history) of the Prophet Muhammad (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam), we see an exemplary role model throughout all facets of life. He was a great teacher, a great leader, a beloved friend and companion, an honest and skillfull businessman, a great student, etc; but above all, what really proved his genuineness, was that above all that:

He was the best of husbands.

How unfortunate that these days, many amongst the men, when it comes to the word “sunnah” and “marriage”, the only thing they talk about is about “more than 1” – forsaking the greater sunnah : being a GREAT HUSBAND in the first place.

How much have we forgotten the following sunnah of being a husband –

- Doing the house chores and serving the family at home (Sahih Al-Bukhari Vol. 1, Book 11, Hadith 644)

- Consult and LISTEN to your wife’s advice (Al-Bukhari, Book #50, Hadith 891)

- If your wife didn’t cook, then don’t complain, just fast (Sahih Muslim, Book 6, Hadith 2574). In fact, never criticize ANY food for that matter (Al-Bukhari, Vol. 7, Book 65, Hadith 320)

- He was so loving that he would kiss his wives just before he left the house to go for prayers (Sunan At-Tirmidzi, Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadith 86, graded hasan) even while in a state of fasting (Muslim, Book 6, Hadith 2446),

- He would openly express his love for his wife, even amongst his friends (Al-Bukhari, Vol. 5, Book 57, Hadith 14)

And many more! We’re only scratching the surface of some examples on how the Prophet was an exemplary husband – this on top of him being a cheerful, loving, caring, and patient. How he was with his companions, he was even better with his own family – especially to the wife.

And he gave the criteria of those who are the best of mankind:

أكمل المؤمنين إيماناً أحسنهم خلقاً وخياركم خياركم لنسائهم

“The most perfect man in his faith among the believers is the one whose behaviour is most excellent;

and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives." (Narrated by At-Tirmidzi, Vol. 1, Book 7, Hadith 1162, graded hasan)

“خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي”

"The best of you is the one who is best to his wife (family), and I am the best of you to my wives."

(Sunan ibn Majah Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1977, graded hasan)

My dear brothers, the Prophet gave the benchmark of being the “best” as how well we treat our wives – because our character in private, is a true representation of who we really are.

We can fool everyone with our public appearance, but we can’t fool the wife.

On the Day (of Judgment) when people will be blaming other for their shortcomings, how well have you treated the one who knows you the most?

Because seriously, if you’re lousy with one, then don’t be lousy with two. Or three. Have mercy on our sisters.

A reminder for myself and to you – Let’s endeavour to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet holistically towards becoming the best of husbands.

Remember: The best of men was the best to his wives.