Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Do people value your abilities, your rank, or you as a human being? - An existential perspective of self-worth

"Leadership is not about a title or a designation. It's about impact, influence and inspiration. Impact involves getting results, influence is about spreading the passion you have for your work, and you have to inspire team-mates and customers" (Robin Sharma)


You can judge a lot about a person by what people say about him when he departs. Or when one's rank, status, and authority are gone. 


In recent conversations with both my parents, they shared with us their observations that many high-ranking retired officials and “clients” tend to live with an entitlement mindset to expect people to respect them after retirement, and unfortunately how many of them still carry over their tendencies of arrogance and pride. Because they were some Dato or Tan Sri, they expect people to appoint them as some board director, chairman at the masjid, or community leader. 


Unfortunately, because they have been so mean with others throughout their career - especially those who have been serving as “clients” or “officials” who gave people a hard time - now nobody wants them around. All those people they stabbed and bridges they burnt to meet their KPI, get their promotion, win their projects, or to “look good in front of the VIPs”: now, the consequences are now catching up with them. 


So, when they retired from their rank, they retired from being relevant. 


I contrast that with the inspiring example of my grandfather, Mohamed Ali who passed away in 2013. It’s funny that I recall that back when we were little kids, well into his retirement years in his 70s, I remember accompanying him in the streets of Kota Bharu, Kelantan, and as kids, it used to annoy us that virtually every few minutes, some random person will meet him with genuine excitement and initiate conversations with him. 

One time, when he left his hometown to come to KL to spend time with us for some time, the people grew concerned of his absence at praying at the local masjid, to the extent that the Sultan of Kelantan (who was also his ex-student) out of concern one day asked the people after Subuh jemaah prayers, “mana cikgu saya?” (Where is my teacher?)


Now, I look back in amazement at the genuine love people had for him, despite being retired long ago! They weren’t paying respects to a teacher; they were greeting a man they loved and admired! Even after he passed away, many people would randomly approach my mother and proudly tell her that he/she was his ex-student. Amazing.



In the book "Enjoy your life", author Dr. Muhammad Al-Arifi narrates his personal observations of a police officer who was once greatly loved and respected while he was in office, but was completely abandoned by his friends and colleagues after retirement:


"I thought about comparing his situation while the man was working, (and now) that he had retired. What was it about him that had attracted the people then? I realised that the man did not win people over by his manners, kindness and good treatment of others. Rather, he had only attracted them by means of his status, position and the fact that he was well-connected. 

When he lost his position, he also lost the love people had for him.

Therefore, learn a lesson from this man. Deal with the people so skilfully that they love you for who you are and what you say, and for your smile, gentleness and generosity. They will love the fact that you overlook their faults and stand by them at times of hardship. Do not allow their hearts to be attached merely to your status and your purse!" (End Quote)


Do not place your self-worth on your job. Like all things in life, your job can come and go - an indeed, the recent economic turbulence due to COVID-19 proved it. 

The more important existential question is to ask yourself: what is your value to others as a human being? 


If we strip away all the superficial things about us:

- Our job title/position/authority

- Our money, bank account, clothings, houses and assets

- Our fame, following, social media accounts

- Our race and family lineage

- Our physical appearance


What is my value as a person? What is my worth in the sight of others? Do I still matter?


What efforts have I consciously done – or am I doing right now – to invest in others for their trust, respect, or love?


Think about how you are living your life today, and ask yourself: What will people - especially the good, righteous ones - say about me when I go?


A funeral procession passed in front of Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) and the people praised the deceased man and spoke highly of him. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "وَجَبَتْ" - "confirmed".

Then another funeral procession passed by and the people condemned this deceased man and spoke ill of him. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, وَجَبَتْ "confirmed"

The people asked Prophet Muhammad ﷺ , "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! You said it has been affirmed for both?" 

The Prophet (ﷺ) said,

 

شَهَادَةُ الْقَوْمِ، الْمُؤْمِنُونَ شُهَدَاءُ اللَّهِ فِي الأَرْضِ

"The testimony of the people (is accepted), for the believers are the witnesses of Allah on Earth." (Al-Bukhari)


An Arab poet said,

“O son of Adam, when you came into this world, you were crying and people around you were smiling in happiness.

Live your live such that, when you leave this world, you are smiling in happiness, and people around you are crying”


#YourLegacy #TheBarakahEffect 

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