🤒 When our children fall sick #ParentingThoughts

It’s a real test to the parents when our children fall ill - They might refuse anything we give them, maybe even totally reject any of our attempts to comfort them. In their emotional state of pain, they may even yell hurtful things at us, or even get physically violent. 

It’s not easy or a pleasant experience and in times like these, I always remind myself of the following: 

1. WE need to be the rock -  In moments of pain and suffering, human beings tend to be emotionally compromised & lose capacity of rational thought, especially children who haven’t fully developed their emotional intelligence.Therefore, whatever nasty things they say or respond to us, don’t take it personally. In siuations like this, as the parent, we need to hold ourselves steady as the emotional pillar for them to lean on, in order for us to be in the best position to help. As much as it seems they don’t want or need us, they don’t really mean it: this is when they are at their most vulnerable and it’s in these times they need us the most.

2. Be firm, gentle AND kind - Of course, times like this, many kids tend to refuse treatment or seeing medical professional; these are times when we need to put our “kesian” thoughts (i.e. feelings of pity) aside and make firm decisions on what’s best for them. And at all times, maintain the approach of kindness and gentleness. The Prophet ﷺ said,

 

يَا عَائِشَةُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ وَيُعْطِي عَلَى الرِّفْقِ مَا لاَ يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ وَمَا لاَ يُعْطِي عَلَى مَا سِوَاهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

'O A'isha, verily Allah is kind and He loves kindness and gives upon kindness which he does not give upon harshness, and does not give anything quite like He does as he does in gentleness” (Muslim)

3. Remember: Every second of your patience will be rewarded by Allah - Even though the physical pain might be felt by them, but as parents, we too also experience some degree of psychological and emotional pain and anxiety going through the ordeal. All of these will be rewarded by Allah. The Prophet ﷺ said,

مَا يُصِيبُ الْمُسْلِمَ مِنْ نَصَبٍ وَلاَ وَصَبٍ وَلاَ هَمٍّ وَلاَ حُزْنٍ وَلاَ أَذًى وَلاَ غَمٍّ حَتَّى الشَّوْكَةِ يُشَاكُهَا، إِلاَّ كَفَّرَ اللَّهُ بِهَا مِنْ خَطَايَاهُ ‏

“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, except that Allah forgives some of his sins for that." (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

4. Think long term: Lastly, I always remind myself to think of the big picture  - to Lead by Example. Perhaps, when they become parents, they will subconsciously apply the same humanity and compassion to their children too. And Allah will reward you for that legacy, too.

May Allah grant us the patience to care for our little ones with compassion and mercy.