⚽ Nurturing the "team player” competency in our children

 

During one of our recent Raya gatherings, a cousin of mine told me he was very keen to send his son to proper football training academy. 

The interesting thing here is his intention and goals behind it: To develop the “team player” skillset. He wants his son to learn what it is to depend on each other, to complement each others’ strengths, and compensate for each others’ weaknesses, what to do when you let the team down, how to uplift each other, and to develop the patience to put up with each other’s antics, and differences in personalities, opinions, and backgrounds. More importantly, learn, through action, what it’s like to work together towards a shared goal: That it's not just about personal glory or being the “star player”. 

In essence, they learn to develop sabr in dealing with each other. Which is particularly interesting when we look at it from the perspective of a statement of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ: “the believer who mixes with people and bears their annoyance with patience, is better and will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and does not put up with their annoyance.” (Narrated by Ibn Majah / At-Tirmidzi). The more they train, the more they develop their EQ to put up with each other. 

Why football? 

He said, most of the other common sports - bowling, tennis, squash, badminton, sprinting, archery, swimming, sprinting - are largely grounded in individual (solo) performance. While tournaments and competition do try to incorporate team-based concepts by grouping and teams, the individual nature still relies on our solo performance, and the moment-to-moment activity doesn’t directly inculcate this team spirit. Though doubles for tennis/badminton might have some degree of teamwork, it isn’t quite as full-on team experience as football, or other sports such as hockey or basketball. 

I thought that was a brilliant goal: Nurture the “teamplayer” competency in our children, through team-based sports! Sports provides a platform to achieve a common goal, and have fun in the process.

Growing up, I never saw it from this perspective. Probably because I was “kaki bangku” and consistently terrible at football while growing up and never really had that “feeling” of teamwork. Because i was so lousy that people don’t pass me the ball to give me a chance to improve. Fair enough 🤣.

After 15+ years of working in the professional environment and volunteering for various different organizations, I have come to realize more and more that this spirit of collaboration and being a great team player is such an important skill to have - especially at the workplace and in volunteering. It’s one of those capabilities that can make or break your career, and even an organizations. Yet unfortunately, it’s rarely ever emphasized or taught in our formal education, and as a result, is kind of random: it totally depends on everyone’s individual upbringing and/or personalities. 

There are many people who excel as “high flyer” individual performers, but are terrible when it comes to collaborating with others in a team environment. Sometimes, because they know they are skilled, they have an arrogance about them which makes them difficult to work with. And because they haven’t developed the emotional intelligence to put up with others’ flaws, some of them become temperamental, even toxic co-workers, and have a harmful effect on the team’s morale. Yes, they may be intelligent or brilliant at what they do, but when you factor in all the other intangible damage that they cause, the costs are greater than the benefits they bring individually.

On the other hand, great team players have a tendency of uplifting the morale of the people around them, including their bosses and subordinates. They have the potential to instill trust, loyalty, and bring about a passionate enthusiasm that makes people want to go above and beyond the call of duty. They make the individuals produce more than the sum of their parts. Who wouldn't love to have a great team player onboard?

Islamically speaking, at its core, it’s ultimately about heeding the call to “help one another towards righteousness and piety” as Allah commands us in Surah Al-Maidah, ayah #2. 

I believe all of us need to play our part to place more emphasis in nurturing and developing this skill amongst our teams and our families. 

What are your thoughts on collaboration? Any other suggestions how we can develop and nurture the team spirit? What sports or activities are suitable towards developing this “team player” spirit?